David Adrian Glanvill

1 When gossip is good A little bit of chit-chat can keep a social group running smoothly It often helps to cement friendships. Tiny bits of trivia can also be very entertaining. Just look at how many of us read out celebrity gossip columns to others for a laugh. It can also help your career: you can find out informally where there are new job openings. Or to have warnings of impending redundancies. In its healthiest form, gossip shows that you're taking an interest in what's going on around you. It allows you to bring something new and interesting to your conversations. Sometimes it's good for sparking off creative ideas or keeping an eye on new trends that might affect our lives. And most of us have the common sense to know that idle gossip is a bit of fun and has its place, but should not be taken too seriously. 2 When gossip is bad Sometimes the facts behind the gossip go through a process of 'Chinese whispers'. They are re-told many times and eventually become grossly distorted. The facts may even have the original meaning reversed. We have all laughed when someone said; "It was in the paper so it must be true!" And the same goes for tales we might hear from our friends and colleagues. Best advice: take stories with a pinch of salt, and go to the source if you want to get it right. Gossip becomes downright destructive if the person telling the story has a hidden agenda. They may want to make someone look bad. Perhaps to steal their job/mates/boyfriend, for example. Most people consider gossip to be childish. And gossip often backfires when people eventually realise what's going on. Often, the person spreading malicious gossip is very insecure, or jealous. They gossip because they can't deal with their feelings in a healthy way. Be very careful when passing on negative information. Someone could be using you to get at another person unfairly. Silly or 'funny' bitchiness may simply be due to an individual's sense of humour. But if it gets to you, don't be scared. Simply ask them to tone it down - they may not realise that they've overstepped the mark.