Wajeeha Shoaib

Setting – Stage Character name: Adam (Adam standing at the podium, staring blankly into the audience) Palms sweaty, heart racing, eyes bulging, hands trembling, stomach in knots – mouth running as dry as the desert. Is the crowd this silent, he thought? Or had his ears stopped working, just as his mouth? (Continues to stare in the audience) He tensed against the shaking of his limbs, as he tried to untie the spider web in his head. Looking back into the faces expectantly staring back at him, he felt nauseous. The now silent crowd began to shift uncomfortably in their seats. Beads of sweat began to form on his upper lip and with his trembling hands, he quickly wiped them away. He opened his mouth to say something and realized how dreadfully dry his mouth was. He still managed hesitantly and said, “Hi ... I am Adam –" The energetic-lively crowd that was cheering just moments before had ebbed to nothingness, leaving the hall as purely silent as the wintry blanket outside. He felt nauseous, the knots in his stomach were making their way up. His head started throbbing and eyes hurting. By this time, he could only see the people stacked up on their seats, but not hear them. He took a step back with his trembling feet, just when he felt someone squeeze his shoulder. Adam flinched as he shrugged off the hand. He felt a tingling sensation slashing through his body, without saying a word, or even looking at the person in the eye, Adam ran. He ran as fast as he could, as though his dead muscles were rebooted to life. Adam ran till he could hear no one, no voices, no cheering, no whistles, not a voice but his own heart beating in his chest. He felt as if he was running into the darkness, on a sunny day. He ran util he reached a dead end and entered the first door he saw opened. A young man looked at him with confused eyes, he quickly entered the room, and found himself in the mirror, realizing it was the toilet. He couldn’t even look at himself, he ran and braced himself on the cistern of the toilet before flipping up the lid and breathing into the bowl. He breathed for as long as he could, staring straight into the front wall. He could feel his eyes welling up, as his heart tried steading itself, and knots began to untie. He just sat there as he tried putting all that had happened into a logical sequence. “What did I do?” “This was my only chance!” “This shouldn’t have happened!”, “Everyone hates me!”, “I am an embarrassment!” Questions and thoughts took over Adam’s mind, pushing him into a corner of his own wicked mind. Before he knew, the knots were finally untied, and nausea crept from his abdomen to his head and the world went black. -----------------------------------------**SCENE END **--------------------------------------------------------------------------Setting – Hospital room Streaks of sunlight penetrated the window; Adams’s mom pulled the curtain away to allow as much light to fill the room. She was scared for her only child. She bought some fresh flowers and placed them at the four corners of the room, made his favorite breakfast, took out his favorite shirt, ironed and kept. She sat on the chair next to his bed and waited for him to open his eyes. Her mother was concerned, and was weeping, as he was the only child, and her source of happiness. (Voice telling Adam’s History) Adam had a remarkable record in academics. He always topped the class with excellent score and had an extraordinary brain. He was always praised by his teachers, his friends, and family. However, the only problem that he ever faced was facing an audience. Since his childhood, at every school function, Adam would take part in backstage activities. He would always put his thinking into work, and bring out something productive, but would never take his place at the podium. Adam and his parents went from one teacher/counsellor/therapist, to another; but in vain. They did as much as they could for their child to fight this fear and come out as a young confident man that he ought to be, but every possibility lead to failure. Years passed, and the seed of fear grew, rather than shrinking, but only if they knew. The show that Adam planned for, for so long turned out to be a mishap. He thought he would ace the show, and that he had overcome his fear, but he was wrong. (Scene – Again hospital room) Slowly and reluctantly, Adam uncovered his face, he blinked several times. Upon waking, Adam embedded himself into the warm, soft sheets. His muscles felt weak, his brain still not telling him his current location. He adjusted to the brightness in the room and managed to recognize his mom. “Hey mom...”, he says reluctantly (mom looks up) His mom’s face lit up, as she looks at him. “My dear! My baby! My sweetie!”, she exclaimed and ran to Adam. “I am sorry mom, I am an embarrassment, look what I did—” His mom cuts him off. (Mom takes Adam into her arms) “No dear! My sweetie, no no there is nothing wrong, you didn’t”, she wiped his tears away and took him in her arms. -------------------------------------------**HOSPITAL SCENE END**-------------------------------------------------------------- Setting: Home When Adam came from the hospital, he knew the blunder that he had made, he thought to himself, “How could he?”, “After all these years of fighting, how could he?” He was at the stage of loathing himself. Angry, furious, as to why and how did this even happen? He took his diary and channelized his anger and pain through words. He wrote, scribbled, wrote until he was relieved, calmed and just done. He sat back and took a few deep breaths, and finally said, “This is it, not anymore!” Adam took out his laptop, went to google and searched, “How to fight stage fright?” Days passed, weeks passed, months passed. Every day Adam would try out new techniques and give his best at learning them. At the end of every day, he would write down in his diary how much has that technique helped him. He joined specific support groups, where he would be able to hear people’s similar story and would vent out his own feelings. He knew he wasn’t different and that this is just a fear that he needs to conquer. Practicing every morning Infront of the mirror had become a routine and helped him get his crippled confidence back. He shifted his focus from his fear, himself, to his true purpose, bring confident. Whenever his brain would start going the wrong way, he would waive the thought away. Every day would be a new day, with something new to learn. Exercising, meditating became a part of Adam’s daily routine. He would spend hours practicing. One fine day, Adam finally told his mom, he wants to participate in the annual student’s week. He said he would go for any role, as long as he is participating. His mom didn’t stop him, in fact she gave him a greenlight to submit the application form. The procedure of choosing the applicants went on, and Adam got shortlisted. He clung to his focus and didn’t let his mind go elsewhere. And to his surprise he got offered to host the show. Adam was overwhelmed but scared at the same time. “Its’s such a big opportunity mom, what if I mess up?” “You wont my child, you won’t,” his mom consoled him ad advised him to get on board, Adam signed up and started preparing for the big day. Days passed and in no time the big day arrived. Adam woke up nervous and anxious that morning but there was something different in his attitude. He was much more confident and self-assured, that he would pull this off. ------------------------------------------------------SCENE END------------------------------------------------------------ Setting – Backstage (Adam is standing backstage, and waiting to go on the stage) Adam’s nose was overwhelmed with the smell of packaged decorations and the fruity aroma of the pastries served moments earlier. He stood there, trying to take it all in while he made sure that he was calmed. He had his heart racing, but a smile remained on his face. His best friend John pushed back the curtain and squeezed Adam’s shoulder, “You can do it!”, Adam looked at him and said, “I hope I can”, reluctantly. John placed both his hand on Adam’s shoulders, looked him in the eye and said, ”Just think of all the audience as naked, and that you’re the only one with clothes, say your word, and break a leg!”, he exclaimed. Adam looked at John in amazement, the words that he had just said, hit him right in the feels. Adam took the podium, with the same idea that John had engraved in his mind. Adam spoke, as confidently that he could. He did so well that the judges had to give him a standing ovation for his remarkable performance. His mom was astonished and overwhelmed. Her eyes welled up by looking at her son, she ran to the stage and hugged her son. By this time Adam was crying too. Adam won the first prize and a scholarship into public speaking from international universities. Adam became much more confident and assertive over the years. Fast forward 5 years, and he started giving motivational speeches to those who fought the same fear that he once did; STAGE FRIGHT. He had performed at several institutional platforms and was approached to be that year’s star of Ted Talk. He had learnt to smile at the audience, to be confident and calm. He had defeated his stage fright completely and finally became the person he always wished to become.