Tracy Apia

 JESKA Stories from the new kingdom Author Copyright © (2019) Author All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or stored in an information retrieval system in any form or by any means, without prior written permission from the author. This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are products of the author’s imagination. Contents PROLOGUE5 CHAPTER ONE6 CHAPTER TWO21 CHAPTER THREE48 CHAPTER FOUR59 CHAPTER FIVE75 CHAPTER SIX87 CHAPTER SEVEN99 CHAPTER EIGHT112 CHAPTER NINE129 CHAPTER TEN144 CHAPTER ELEVEN158 CHAPTER TWELVE165 CHAPTER THIRTEEN178 CHAPTER FOURTEEN187 CHAPTER FIFTEEN207 CHAPTER SIXTEEN217 CHAPTER SEVENTEEN237 CHAPTER EIGHTEEN248 CHAPTER NINETEEN276 EPILOGUE298 PROLOGUE The old woman was once a young girl. She once listened to the stories told by her people on the slave ships and now, she is passing down those stories. She does not know the truth or otherwise of the stories, but they entertained her during the passage from her homeland to the foreign man's land where her people were, and still are, used as slaves. As she looks around the gathering of young and old around the bonfire, all ready to listen to her story, her heart swells. Seated on the ground to her far left are the women whose daughters were taken earlier in the day to be handmaids of the white man’s daughters. They all knew that there was no end to what could happen to the daughters of the women. “I will be telling stories about different people, people who are all connected in some way. I think we need this more than ever.” She sees the man whose wife was raped and impregnated by the slave owner’s son nod in agreement, and she is glad that she is getting to people. She finds that she is happier when he hugs his wife to his side and rubs her protruding stomach. "This is a story about a woman, Jeska, who lived in Egypt around the time of the eighteenth dynasty." At the sign of a hand raised in question she sighs. "Let us keep all the questions till the end, eh? Now, the story begins." CHAPTER ONE Malqata was the most beautiful palace Jeska had ever set her eyes on. Never mind that, in all her five years, it was the only palace she had ever set her eyes on. Father never let her go too far without him because he never wanted her to go missing. "Stay close to me, Jeska." She picked up her pace to keep up with her father who slowed down to let her catch up to him and the palace servant that was leading them down the twisting hallways. She knew that if she lost sight of them for just a second, she could go missing for days and mother would be sad. "This place is beautiful, father. Can we live here?” She saw a smile ghost the lips of the servant but she continued. People always talked about how bold she was; she did not mind one bit. “You and mother can ask Pharaoh. He will agree, don't you think?" She could not stop her eyes from wandering over the paintings on the walls with depictions of flowers and elaborate animals. As they passed a column painted to look like lilies, she traced her fingers over it and almost stumbled into a servant hurrying down the corridor. The palace was bustling with activity and there were servants buzzing through the hallways. It reminded Jeska of the impossibly large bees humming around in the garden they passed a while ago. This was not the first time she would accompany her father to heal someone. She had been her father's apprentice since she was old enough to follow him around which was also the time she was old enough to understand what he was doing. They were going to heal Pharaoh's only daughter, Hatshepsut. For the past two years, since she was three, Jeska had been actively following her father around and today he was taking her with him to heal royalty. She was excited when he told her about the job – at least until he told her he was not planning on taking her with him. She begged and sulked for weeks, promising that she would be on her best behavior. "Father, I promise. Please just take me with you. I'll be good and I'll wear makeup, mother." She directed the last part at her mother who was always trying to get her to wear makeup and jewelry, all of which Jeska despised; especially under the scalding sun. They finally agreed after some compromise and here they were in the palace. The servant led them down a hallway that seemed more prestigious than the others, if the relatively well-dressed servants were anything to go by. Here, there were fewer servants and they looked healthier than the ones Jeska had seen earlier. They stopped in front of a door that reminded Jeska of the vines that had climbed and wrapped themselves around the outer walls of her home. Somehow, an artist had painted the vines with clarity. It was nothing short of beautiful. The servant knocked once and opened the door for them, letting them enter first as was expected of him. Jeska was a direct descendant of Peseshet, the first female doctor in all of Egypt. Her father, Akhethetep, was Peseshet's son and he learned from her. Jeska's family was not a royal one but they were not peasants either; they were upper class members of the society. The servant motioned for them to follow him as he walked past Jeska’s father into a little room, at the end of which was a door. Jeska assumed that it was the princess’ private viewing chamber. She followed her father to take a seat on one of the many wooden chairs cushioned with fine cotton as the servant walked towards the door. The servant gently pushed the door open and stepped inside. “Father, why don’t we just go in with the servant?” Jeska whispered immediately the servant disappeared behind the door, her small body turned towards her father. “The princess has to give us permission to see her. That’s how it works, Jeska.” Her father replied with a smile on his face. “I don’t understand. Doesn’t she want to get healed? We came to heal her but we still have to wait for her permission?” Her tone laced with confusion and distaste, Jeska’s face morphed into a frown as she thought about the absurdity of it all. “I don’t think I want to live in the palace anymore, father.” That elicited a laugh from Jeska’s father. “Hush now, Jeska.” Her father scolded her but he was smiling so she knew he was not being too serious about it. Just then, the door opened and the servant stepped out. He bowed at them with his arms behind his back. “The princess has given you leave to see her.” Jeska walked into the princess’ bedroom with her father’s hand on her bare shoulder guiding her. The room was decorated all around with paintings of beautiful animals. To Jeska's left was a painting of two lions poised to attack. The wall directly in front of her was covered in a painting of a crocodile with its jaws wide open to capture prey. It sent a thrill through her chest; she had always loved animals. Jeska barely managed to drag her eyes away from the paintings to look at the occupants of the room. Seated by the bedside of the girl Jeska assumed was the princess, was a little boy who looked to be about a year or two older than she was. The boy was donned with a loose-fitting robe that appeared to be made of linen. The prints of fur on specific places such as the shoulders depicted his heritage as Pharaoh's son. Unlike Jeska who only had a few jewelries on but no clothing, the girl on the bed was dressed in a loose robe similar to her brother’s. Jeska was confused as to why the girl was dressed; she was sure they were the same age. From the corner of her eye, Jeska saw her father bow to the princess and the boy who must have been the prince, Thutmose II. The princess, Hatshepsut, and Thutmose were both children of the Pharaoh but they were born of different mothers. Hatshepsut's mother died after she gave birth to her only daughter. From what Jeska had heard, the princess and her step brother were very close. In fact, people often said that if one did not know of the death of the princess' mother, one would think them to be from the same mother. "Healer, why has your daughter failed to greet me?" Hatshepsut questioned Jeska's father, drawing Jeska's attention to the fact that she had been staring at her since she stepped into the room. "Or is that not the custom anymore?" This question was directed at her brother who simply stared at her, his amusement at the situation obvious in the private smile he gave his sister. "You'll have to forgive her, my princess. This is her first time around people of higher birth such as yours." Jeska watched as her father bowed his head again, humility written all over his features. Something twisted in her guts right then. Something like anger. Something like disdain for the princess. She knew that it was the custom of her people to respect and worship Pharaoh and his children, but this girl was too full of pride. "Well, she'll have to learn, won't she?" The princess replied with a smug smile on her face. "Father, I take back your apology. She doesn't deserve it." Jeska interfered with a thrust of her chin at Hatshepsut. She watched as Hatshepsut's face turned sour and angry, as if she could not at all fathom the words Jeska spoke to her. As if he could sense that something bad was about to happen, Akhethetep pulled his daughter behind him, leaving her slightly covered by his frame. Hatshepsut quickly sat up and turned to her brother, the sudden movement caused the sleeve of her robe to slip down one shoulder. "Thutmose, call the guards for me. This girl must be punished–" her sentence was cut short by her brother's hand on her shoulder gently pushing her against the bed, making her to get into a reclined position. He gathered the bed-sheets around her and drew them up to her shoulders. "You need to rest, Hatshepsut. Let the man and his daughter heal you and be on their way." He stood up from the chair by the side of the princess' bed, and motioned with the slightest of bows for Jeska's father to take his former position. Jeska decided that she liked the young prince better than his proud sister. Thutmose II, second of his name, knew some things. He knew some people considered him weak and he would most likely be considered a weakling all throughout history but he regarded it as his duty to love and protect his sister, regardless of the circumstances. Despite his young age; he had not lived up to eight years, he knew that the young girl that accompanied her father to heal Hatshepsut was from a line of veritable healers. He knew that her grandmother oversaw the last few treatments and rites that were necessary for the burial of Hatshepsut's mother. Hatshepsut was not aware of this little fact; this family had honored her mother. The healer released his grip on his daughter's shoulder, apparently satisfied that the threat of punishment to his daughter was gone. He whirled around to face his daughter with a finger pointed at her. "You know the correct way to behave, Jeska. Why are you acting like your mother and I didn’t raise you properly?" Akhethetep scolded the girl. "Now you will apologize to prince Thutmose." Thutmose quickly interrupted the man. "There is no need. We are almost the same age, eh? Perhaps next time she will do better." He could barely see the girl, Jeska, behind her father but he had a feeling he would find a scowl on her face if he could. "Thank you, prince." The healer straightened and faced Thutmose. "She will do better next time. I take full responsibility for her actions." "No need for all that." Thutmose walked towards the healer and the man passed him, his bag of healing potions in his hand. He stopped just by Hatshepsut's beside, pushing away the chair that Thutmose occupied earlier. Thutmose watched as the man opened his bag and brought out some concoctions and herbs. He placed them on a small wooden table and adjusted the pillows beneath Hatshepsut's head. He uncapped a flask made of goatskin and poured some of its liquid content on his hand. The smell of the liquid substance immediately permeated the room and Thutmose was overcome with an overwhelming need to vomit the remains of his breakfast. As the older man massaged the thick green liquid onto his sister's forehead, Thutmose could see the effects it was having on her. Her eyes were watering, and she kept blinking repeatedly. "This will drive away the sickness. It seems to be a strong one, but I prepared this potion especially for you, my princess." Akhethetep quickly assured her of the importance of the concoction. After all, the princess had barely lived for six years. Just like his daughter, she was still a child. At the thought of the younger girl, Jeska, Thutmose turned to see how she was faring against the strong potion. The girl had her palm over her nose. She appeared to be breathing through her mouth. "Drink a little of this, princess." The healer had put away the foul potion and brought another to Hatshepsut's lips. Thutmose hoped this one was more pleasant than the former, for Hatshepsut’s sake. Akhethetep placed a hand behind the princess' head and gently lifted her from the bed, his hand supporting her head. Hatshepsut took little sips from the flask until the healer pulled it away from her lips. "You should stay upright for a while so that the potions can work properly." Hatshepsut simply nodded drowsily. Perhaps the potion contained a sleep-inducing herb. “Please ensure she gets enough sleep, prince Thutmose. I will leave this flask by her bedside so that she may take the concoction when she wakes up,” the healer packed up his potions as he addressed Thutmose, “I trust that you will assist her and make sure she takes the herbs. They will help her get better.” Thutmose waited till the man walked away from his sister’s bedside before he hastily returned to her. Since her mother died when giving birth to her, Thutmose had been a mother, father, brother and friend to her. "Do you feel better, Hatshepsut?" He was not surprised that she did not give him a response because she looked truly out of it. Thutmose could hear the healer and his daughter moving towards the door but he did not turn around to give them leave to go; the man must have understood that he wanted to watch after his sister. He was beyond surprised when he heard Hatshepsut's voice. "Healer, your daughter may visit the palace to learn with us." Hatshepsut barely croaked out. "She can join us, and we can become friends." Friends? Jeska did not want to be friends with the princess. She could barely stand the prince and he was nicer than Hatshepsut. She gave a tug at her father's hands to tell him what she thought about the princess' offer of friendship, but he remained steadfast in his stance. Oh, how she wished she could educate the princess on her views of "friendship." From the look on prince Thutmose's face he clearly had not been expecting his sister's offer. "Of course, princess. Jeska would love to visit the palace. Her mother would be happy with this news. Thank you." At that, her father led her to the door, outside of which the servant from earlier was waiting to accompany them to the gates of the palace. The servants were not as many as they were when Jeska was coming, and she did not notice the decorations on the walls. Her mind was full of dread at the thought of being friends with the princess. She knew that she should be excited at the thought of spending hours at the palace, but she was not. The servant bowed to them as soon as they arrived at the palace gate. She had not even noticed when they passed the beautiful gardens that she admired the first time. "I don't like her." Jeska complained to her father immediately they were out of earshot of the servant. "You don't have to like her. She's the princess." Her father stated simply. "Come, let us go home. Your mother would be worried by now." With a tug on her hand, he guided her through the dusty streets that were made even worse by the sweltering sun. CHAPTER TWO Jeska stormed by her father in a breeze. She could not believe her parents were making her go to the palace. "What if you tell the princess that I don't feel too good? She'll believe you then, huh?" She desperately pleaded with her father, trying to get him to see things from her point of view. Earlier on, a servant from the palace came to her house to extend the princess' invitation to her. Turned out Hatshepsut was serious about their "friendship". "You will go and freshen up now, Jeska. The princess wants to be friends with you despite how you behaved the last time you went to the palace," her mother said, following her. "Acting as if we didn't train you properly.” "But I don't like her, mother!" Jeska could not help but scream. "It doesn't matter whether you like her or not. Now go and get dressed. I am not going to hear any more of this, do you understand?" Her mother was now looming over her small frame with a finger pointed at her. "Go in and freshen up." At that, her mother changed the direction of her fingers by pointing them to the inside of the house, toward Jeska’s bedroom. Jeska left the room in a huff, almost walking over Ahmose in her anger. “You had better not injure that boy, Jeska.” Her mother called after her. “I didn’t even see him there,” she murmured as she bent down to pick up her brother and place him against the wall. “Sorry, Ahmose.” She brushed her fingers over his hair lightly, eliciting a chuckle from him, and continued to her room. Jeska's face was twisted in what seemed like a permanent frown as she walked beside the palace guard that the princess sent to escort her. She looked back at the servant that was walking behind them and sighed. People on the streets steered clear of her and her small entourage; nobody wanted to mess up around a palace guard. Jeska did not like that - everyone knew that bad things happened when people messed up. She took in the bustling environment of the palace grounds as they walked past the gates of the palace. Servants and guards were hustling left and right around her, each of them doing some activity that she would never know. Jeska raised a hand to her shoulder blades and bumped into the necklace her mother forced her to wear, insisting that "this is the best for such a visit, Jeska." At least she was not forced to wear clothing in the intense heat. The area of the palace they were in was different from the last time she and father visited the palace. Were they not going to the princess' chambers? Just as she was about to question the guard, they turned a corner and she saw the most beautiful courtyard she had ever seen in her short life. There were beautiful flowers and plants in every corner of the courtyard. The stone steps leading to the courtyard were supported by railings made of brick and mud. There were chairs in seemingly random spots but in the middle were chairs that were definitely not arranged randomly. Huddled around the chairs were some children; Jeska could even see Hatshepsut's head peeking out from behind a boy's head. She walked down the steps and stopped in the middle. They had not noticed her yet so she could explore the palace and go home after she was satisfied. Sure, mother and father might find out but she did not think much about that – they had forced her to become friends with the princess. It was not because she was scared; she didn't want to ruin this for mother or father. "Hey!" Jeska was jolted out of her thoughts by a boy's voice. She looked down to see one of the boys smiling at her. He immediately ran up the stairs and grabbed her hand. "Why were you just standing there, Jeska?" He questioned excitedly. How does he know my name? "How do you know my name?" She voiced her thought. The boy looked confused at her question, like the answer was obvious. "Well, Hatshepsut told us you were coming. You're going to be a healer, right? Maybe you can heal me and Hotep when we get back from our military service - if we get injured, of course." This boy talks a lot. He is even worse than I am. Mother would be horrified at this. "Military service?" Jeska inquired. "Yes, but that's another story. I'm Senenmut." They walked down the steps and slowly got closer to the other children. "Hatshepsut and Thutmose are my very close friends. Hotep and I– Hotep is my brother– have known them since we were little. Our father is a distant relative of Pharaoh, so we usually come around to visit them. We are not related directly but the blood is still there." That explains why you and your brother are still alive. It was not uncommon for Pharaohs to execute their siblings or cousins or even the children of their siblings and cousins when entering power. They did it to eliminate all threats to their throne. By then, Hatshepsut and her brother, Thutmose, alongside the boy who must have been Senenmut's younger brother were watching them. It was then that Jeska noticed an oddity. She was the only one not wearing clothes. She spared a glance at Hatshepsut and saw the other girl smiling at her. "You planned this, didn't you?" She directed at the other girl in the courtyard. "I should let you know that I am only here because mother forced me. I wouldn't have come if I had any say in it." The two brothers looked mildly surprised and amused at her outburst. "You weren't joking, Thutmose." The other boy, Hotep, simply smiled at his brother's words. "I promise you that Hatshepsut did not plan it. I would have stopped her if she tried to do anything like that." Thutmose stepped forward and shrugged his shoulders placatingly. "It does not matter." She smiled at Thutmose and turned to Hotep. "Hello." She nodded in greeting and he smiled back at her. His smile was beautiful and full of teeth. Jeska was loathe to admit it but Hatshepsut had beautiful friends. Her eyes skimmed over the princess who looked frustrated. The princess opened her mouth to speak when a man joined them from the western part of the courtyard. Hatshepsut could not believe the nerve of this girl. In all of her five, soon going on six, years she had never met anybody that spoke to her like that. Thutmose was her brother and guardian and he respected her. Senenmut and Hotep were also like her brothers; Hotep rarely spoke anyways. She wanted to give a retort, but teacher entered before she could. "Prince Thutmose." Teacher bowed in greeting to Thutmose. "Princess Hatshepsut, you look particularly beautiful today." Hatshepsut knew she did not look particularly beautiful. She was rather plain looking, but teacher had to say those things to her. Sometimes, Thutmose joked about it to her: "one day, teacher is going to say that you are even more beautiful than Hathor. Then, he will be in trouble." It always made her laugh. If she was in a good mood, she would have frazzled teacher by claiming he was insinuating that she did not look beautiful every day. It worked every time. Hatshepsut claimed a seat beside Hotep and waited for teacher to start. She never admitted it, but she loved their class sessions. She always looked forward to them. She brought out her papyrus and placed it on her laps. "I see that we have a new person joining us today. Are you going to continue lessons with us or is it just for today?" Teacher questioned Jeska. "I think..." She paused for a while, looking around the courtyard at them taking it all in. "I think I will continue here." Teacher simply nodded and began teaching. "Today we will learn mathematics. Bring out your papyrus, please." He waited until everyone brought theirs out then he started teaching. "Now, mathematics is quite simple. I know you all started early - princess, you are barely six years of age - but it will be easy to understand. There is something called addition and subtraction. Addition is joining, putting together two or more things. For example, we have two girls and three boys here. If you add two and three together, you'll get..." He trailed off, waiting for them to answer. Hatshepsut was busy trying to do the sums in her head. She was using her fingers to count the numbers but everything was getting jumbled together. From the corner of her eye she saw Jeska raise her hand. Teacher looked surprised by that but not as surprised as her new friends were; Thutmose always answered questions before anyone. "Yes? You know the answer?" Jeska appeared slightly irked by teacher's question if the frown on her face was any indication. "Yes. Two plus three equals five." Senenmut could not hold his shocked gasp. Hatshepsut could feel the smile tugging at her lips. This Jeska girl would make a good friend. I just have to persuade her to my side. Jeska would never forget the look on Hatshepsut's face when she answered the first question correctly. Maybe it would be the only good thing that would come out of her visit to the palace. Throughout the lessons she kept on shocking everyone until they stopped being shocked. After the second question, Thutmose picked up the pace and they began a healthy competition. Sometimes the teacher would ask a question and Thutmose would beat her to it with a smug smile on his face. After the teacher left, promising that their next lesson would be in two days, Hotep walked over to her. "You were really good in class. Do you have extra lessons at home or something? Hatshepsut said your papa is a healer and you're going to be a healer too, right?" Jeska had never had a smart boy like Hotep walk up to her to ask her questions about herself. "My father teaches me a little bit of mathematics, writing, and reading but he mainly teaches me about herbs and potions so that I can heal people when I'm older." Jeska noticed that Hotep was looking over her shoulder and she turned to see what he was looking at. Hatshepsut was walking towards them. She looked nervous. Jeska did not want to talk to her. "Hi." The princess greeted and immediately stopped in front of them. "Hey, Hatshepsut. Senenmut is calling for me. You know how he can be." He motioned to the corner of the courtyard where his brother was indeed calling him. He turned to Jeska and shrugged, as if to say "I have no hand in this. He is my brother; I can't say no to him." With a smile he walked to his brother. That moment was one of the most awkward moments Jeska had ever experienced. She wanted to walk away from the princess, but something made her stay. "Look, I didn't plan the thing with the clothes. I actually like that you can walk around without clothes. Pharaoh never allowed me to; I stopped when I was two or so." The princess conceded with her eyes on the ground. "You call your father Pharaoh?" Jeska was surprised by this. "Well... Yes. He is Pharaoh." "So, you've never called him father or papa?" "No. I really want us to be friends." Jeska was blown away by the other girl's honesty. "Sometimes I just wish I had a female friend like Thutmose has Senenmut and Hotep. I mean, they're my friends too but it isn't the same." Jeska had always had a weak heart. It was not a medical condition but a character trait. She had always been a soft person, regardless of the way she acted toward people. So when Hatshepsut told her she wanted to be friends, Jeska could not help but agree with the girl. She agreed to become friends with Pharaoh's daughter. "I'll be your friend, Hatshepsut." She gripped the girl's hand in hers and tugged her towards the boys who would later become her very best friends. Two years passed in this fashion, with the young princess commanding Jeska to her side in order to be friends with her; in those two years, she had seen more of royalty than she ever thought she would. But still, she and her parents were nervous when Hatshepsut insisted on coming to visit her and spending the night in her home. There was so much that could go wrong, even if the young princess didn't take exception to the fact that Jeska's home was not as big or magnificent as what she was used to, in her parent’s eyes, there were still many things that could go wrong. "At least we have stone walls, what a disaster it would be to have the princess in a house with mudbrick walls!" Her father said as he hurried past her, his arms filled with the scrolls he usually left sprawled around the house. Her mother, not to be outdone, was studying those same stone walls with a critical eye, Jeska bit down on the urge to make a snide comment, their nervousness was becoming infectious. "But look, the walls have no decorative paint! The princess is used to decorative paint!" Her mother spoke quickly in that high pitched voice she only used when she was truly panicking, she eyed the walls contemplatively, as if she was considering painting them herself. In the chaos, Jeska almost missed her brother's tiny form crawling slowly, weaving between everyone's legs, she quickly picked him up before he could get into trouble and cradled him gently in her arms. Since Hatshepsut was her only female friend, she had no idea how parents were supposed to prepare for her friend's visit, but as she watched them putter about the central room, she knew that somehow, they were going too far. She was smart enough to note that their behavior would only get worse when the princess arrived, immediately she thought that, her other brother, Ahmose, ran into the room with news of her friend. "The princess is here!" He said, his face lighting up in excitement, even their parents' fussing couldn't spoil his mood. She smiled at him when he tugged her hand, he was such a happy child, and she adored him for it. Almost immediately, her parents dragged her and her brothers to the courtyard where several palace servants and guards stood around Hatshepsut in a semi-circle. If they were trying to be intimidating, they succeeded as her parents were practically vibrating with nervous energy as they watched the procession of guards enter their home. The servants waited imperiously for her family to bow to the princess, even though Hatshepsut had explained to Jeska before about how much formality framed the lives of royalty, it was still amusing to watch the servants stand there; looking down on them as the tension in the air grew palpable. The tension in the air seemed to dissolve instantly when her parents and brother bowed to the princess, Jeska didn't bow though. The princess laughed, she was used to Jeska’s lack of reverence, the other girl only bowed to her in jest, maybe it was her irreverent side that made them such good friends. "Jeska!" Her mother exclaimed as she nudged her with her elbow. "Jeska is my friend, and she does not need to stand on formality, especially not today of all days, we're celebrating her seventh year." Hatshepsut said, as she walked forward to embrace her friend, who giggled as she saw the look on her parents' faces. "I didn't just come here to see you, I also brought you a present." Hatshepsut said as she stepped into the house with servants hot on her trail. "Oh? What present? Where is it?" Jeska looked around but saw nothing, in response, the princess cleared her throat and nodded to one of the servants. The servant ushered in a scribe who held on to a roll of papyrus so tightly that the force showed on his knuckles, the scribe unrolled his papyrus and began to read from it. “Jeska, the best friend of her royal highness, is to receive a new workroom in this home to practice herbal remedies and incantations as the gods allow. May Isis walk with you throughout this time and Osiris guide your hands and mind.” He nodded to the princess, Jeska and her parents after he finished reading from the scroll, he left the room as silently as he entered it. "You're giving me a workroom!" Jeska squealed, she could not believe her ears, a whole workroom just for her, her mind whirled with the possibilities. She was a bit overwhelmed by her gift, she had never had something that was completely hers before, she wasn't from a poor family but she was used to having to share everything with her family. "Yes I am. And since you'll need somewhere to stay while your home is being renovated to include the workroom, you and your family can stay in the palace." Hatshepsut said, smiling brightly at her friend in order to hide the truth from her. "What you speak of, you want to build us a new house. The pharaoh approved this?" Her mother finally shook herself free of her shock, but her voice still trembled as she spoke. "Yes he did." The princess kept her bright smile on as she spoke, she didn't want Jeska to catch onto the real reason for her new workroom. When she told him that she intended to spend the night in Jeska's home, the pharaoh had insisted on making sure her friend's house was up to royal standards. But that news would only shame Jeska's parents and annoy her friend, to her, this way was better. Jeska and her family adjusted to life in the palace quickly, although they knew it was only temporary. Work on their new home was going well, and they could go oversee the changes; Jeska’s family were given more respect simply because they lived in the palace. She was able to see her friend more often than usual, and together they played in her room, laughing over private jokes, sharing secrets, and braiding each others’ hair. "I just like him so much!" Hatshepsut said, sharing one of her secrets with her friend, this one was about a boy, a boy she shouldn't think of as anything other than a friend. "Does he know how you feel?" Jeska said carefully while braiding the other girl’s hair; she was smart enough to know that princesses rarely ever married for love. "Not yet, but when he comes back from hunting with the pharaoh, Hotep and Thutmose, I'll tell him then. Do you think Senenmut likes me too?" "I don't know, I haven't watched him enough to notice if he has feelings for you." Jeska said, finishing the princess’ hair. "Then who have you been observing? Thutmose? Do you like my brother?" Hatshepsut squealed, turning to face her, she was excited at the thought of Jeska liking her brother, because it could mean that she didn't have to marry him. "No, I don't. Why would you think that?" "Well, you're always with him, studying." "That's because he's smart, and the boy I like..." The arrival of the boys cut Jeska short, Thutmose was looking at her with a twinkle in his eye, as if she amused him greatly. "The boy you like, if it's not me, and it's not Senenmut, there's only one other person it could be." He said as he laughed at the shocked look on Hotep's face. "You...like me?" Hotep asked, he couldn't believe that the girl he thought he wasn't good enough for actually liked him. The others in the room fell silent as they watched the two of them, sensing that the moment was somehow significant. Jeska nodded meekly, for the first time ever, words seem to have failed her, she didn't know what to expect but it definitely wasn't the warmth of Hotep's arms as he embraced her. "I like you, Jeska." He whispered softly to her, as he held her carefully, like she was a priceless gift. Maybe it was Jeska's success that gave Hatshepsut the courage to confess her feelings to the boy she liked, but they were soon holding hands and smiling. It was a day for young love. They were soon in their classroom; it was time for a test, Jeska had always been careful to make sure she didn’t outdo both royals but no one had ever noticed. So when she received her test scores, she was happy to be second best in the class, but this time, someone had noticed her. “I think you allowed Thutmose to win Jeska!” Hotep said quietly when they reached her home and Jeska shrugged off his accusation, laughing. They were enjoying a dip in the pond surrounded by a gorgeous garden teaming with colorful insects like butterflies and bees at Jeska’s newly refurbished home. A naked Ahmose ran through the pond, kicking water up at them. Hotep chased him around the garden while Jeska lay down in the pond, the water is deep enough to cover her body, but shallow enough to stop at her face. Lying on her back, she closed her eyes, trying to ignore Hotep, however, the boy refused to let it go. She opened her eyes and saw Hotep standing over her, smiling, then stern as he spoke again. “You let him win.” He said. “So if I did? What’s it to you?” Tired of denying it, she scoffed and closes her eyes again while listening to him make his argument. “You deserve to win you know. I don’t want you to think just because you’re not royalty you can’t be better than them, because you and I know that you are better than them.” He said, words that stayed with her for many years after he said them. CHAPTER THREE Jeska held the two plants in her hand, genuinely confused at what she was seeing. Yes, they looked entirely different, but they performed similar functions. Cannabis plant helped reduce nausea and pain, but the opium poppy also did the same – in a more concentrated manner that adults seemed to love – and it was used as poppy seed oil. She needed to find out which would be more effective in sedating a person with a broken leg before father came back from the palace. She wanted to follow him, but he did not let her; he insisted that it was important work that had to do with Pharaoh. Jeska already knew Pharaoh was ill and she knew she could not tell anyone about it. Hatshepsut and Thutmose already knew that their father was ill, and they all knew what it meant for Thutmose and, maybe even, Hatshepsut if Pharaoh died; Thutmose was in line for the throne and Hatshepsut might have to marry him. She picked up grandmother’s old papyrus containing incantations to the gods for a successful healing. Grandmother left them with papyri that she thought they would find useful in healing people and they still used them. She traced her fingers over the writing and muttered the words to herself: “O Re! You who has spoken for your body. O Osiris! You who pray for your manifestation. Free me from all possible evil and bad things, from the demonic and deadly fevers of all kind.” She turned away from the rough worktable, her fingers tracing the rough wood, when she heard her mother’s footsteps walking towards their workroom. Mother always looked beautiful at any time of the day and father claimed she got that kind of beauty from Hathor. Father always told her she got her beauty from mother – Hotep claimed Jeska was an undefined beauty and that Hathor could be jealous. “You’re still working with these herbs?” Mother inquired, looking over her shoulders at the clustered worktable. She was going to have to arrange everything before father came back from the palace because he did not like it when her workplace was messy. “Yes, mother. You know father gave me this as a test and a distraction. I have to finish this so that he knows how serious I am with this.” She pouted at her mother. Mother did not like it when she worked on herbal puzzles and remedies for too long. She always whined that she was too young for serious work like healing. “You have been working all morning, Jeska. The day is already halfway spent, and you’ve just been cooped up in this room. You are too young for this.” “Mother, I am not too young. I’ve lived for ten years and I have been doing this for all of seven years.” She countered. Her mother reached for her cheeks and squeezed them. “Your father already knows you are serious with this. Aren’t you going to visit your friends today? They should be missing you.” She moved to the left, removing her mother’s hands from her cheeks. “What about that boy, Hotep? You like him, don’t you? Go visit him.” “Mother, Hotep is my friend.” She insisted even as a blush colored her face. Just as her mother was about to reply, her youngest brother, Jabari, interrupted. “Mother, there is a servant here looking for Jeska. I think he came from the palace.” “Did you do anything?” Her mother immediately questioned her, suspicion written all over her features. “No, you could not have done anything. You’ve been here all day.” She did not tell mother that she already had a suspicion on what the servant was at their home for. She simply walked past her to the front of the house where her four-year-old brother was squinting at the palace servant who was way taller than he was. She gripped Jabari’s shoulders and pulled him behind her. “Princess Hatshepsut requires your presence at the palace.” He bowed in respect at her, signifying that he had delivered his message. “Do you know why the princess called for her?” Her mother appeared from behind the doorway to the central room, regarding the servant who was sweating lightly under the scorching sun. “Come in, standing under this sun for this long is not good for your skin.” She motioned for him to follow her and she walked into the house. Jabari looked at her as the servant passed him, his hand over his mouth, his expression one of emphasized shock and amazement. “He’s so tall, Jeska.” He mouthed at her, his eyes wide with mischief. She simply shook her head at him, a smile on her face and led him inside the house. Mother had offered the servant a flask of water from their private well to drink, and she was waiting for him to have his fill before she continued questioning him. The servant put down the flask and wiped his mouth with his hand. “Thank you for the water. Princess Hatshepsut did not specify a reason, but she was,” he paused, as if unsure of whether he should tell them what he knew. “She was?” Mother prompted him. “The princess appeared to have been crying before I was summoned by her. Her friend, I think his name is Senenmut, he was the one that told me to request your visit to see the princess.” The servant’s words confirmed Jeska’s fear. She looked at her mother and knew that her mother thought the same thing. Somehow, everything seemed different now. It did not matter that people were going about their normal, everyday activities, completely unaware that the mantle of power had been passed on to another. Jeska wished she could be like them, so ignorant and unaware. She dreaded her steps to the palace because she knew that whatever she saw there was going to break her heart. Each hurried step took her closer and closer to the palace until she was finally on the palace grounds. She walked past the beautiful gardens and courtyards, ignoring every single person, barely even noticing the increased number of servants walking the hallways of the palace. She did not even stop to admire the ostriches walking the length of her favorite garden, she simply followed the servant to the royal quarters, navigating her way to Hatshepsut’s chambers. The servant knocked on the door. No one answered from inside. He knocked again and he was rewarded with silence. Jeska pushed past him and opened the door, stepping in and closing the door behind her. Hatshepsut was seated in a wooden chair, her arms wrapped around her legs, holding them up to her chin, squatting beside her was Senenmut who appeared to be trying to console her and himself at the same time. He was doing a poor job of it because Hatshepsut was still crying, and he looked like he had cried a million times over, and was on the verge of bursting into tears anytime soon. Standing by the window, not too far from them, was Hotep. He looked helpless but Jeska thought he made an art out of it. He made helpless look beautiful. “You’re here.” Hotep walked towards her, looking happy that she arrived. Senenmut and Hatshepsut barely looked at her, but she understood. “Where is Thutmose?” Looking around for the prince, now Pharaoh. Thutmose would be made Pharaoh now that his and Hatshepsut’s father was dead. “He is with some officials. You know they have to discuss his crowning and perform some necessary ceremonies.” She nodded at his words because, yes, she knew. She dreaded to ask the question that had been on her mind since the servant came to her house, but she did. “Do they have to get married?” She referred to Thutmose and Hatshepsut. “Yes.” His voice barely above a whisper, as if he did not want to disturb his brother and Hatshepsut. “They told them this morning, immediately he died. They didn’t even give them time to grieve, Jeska.” He looked properly angry at this and of course he was; his brother was as in love with Hatshepsut as she was with him. Thutmose was very close to Hotep and Senenmut. Right from the beginning, Senenmut and Hatshepsut knew that their love was doomed. Hatshepsut was either going to have to marry a person of higher class than Senenmut, or end up getting married to Thutmose and Senenmut would have to go for military service, during which he might die. The only thing that made Jeska luckier than Hatshepsut was that she was not Pharaoh’s daughter; Hotep would also go for military service and anything could happen to him during that time. Just the thought of him not being okay or with Jeska sent her into panic. He must have sensed it because he intertwined his fingers with hers and tugged on her to hug her. “We are going to be okay, Jeska. Senenmut and Hatshepsut would find a way. Thutmose would be okay. Just calm down, okay?” The words he whispered to her did nothing to calm her down because she knew they were false, but she did not say anything because somehow, she knew that he needed those words more than she did. It still seemed to him like everything that had happened was a dream. Surely, his father had not died, leaving him as Pharaoh. Surely, he was not going to marry his sister. Hatshepsut. He still remembered the look on her face when they were told that they must get married for him to acquire the throne. They always knew that there was the possibility of marriage between them, but they always saw it as something in the background; something that might never happen. Now, it had come to the fore, proving to them that it was something real. It was going to happen. He just hoped she did not hate him for this – he did not have the choice of disagreeing; it was his obligation. Their obligation. Even as the royal seamstress measured him for new clothes for his crowning, his mind strayed to the future and its endless possibilities. Thutmose could not see anything bright, even with the endless possibilities. CHAPTER FOUR How does it taste?” Hotep licked his lips in anticipation of the honey-sweetened beer. It was normal for children to drink beer because water from the Nile was considered impure and it usually made people sick. They had never tasted honey-sweetened beer and since they were out on the streets and saw it, they decided to try it. Things had been awkward since Thutmose’s crowning a full moon ago. He got married to Hatshepsut some days after his crowning as Pharaoh. Sometimes it still irked Jeska whenever she thought of how other people were going about their normal lives while her closest friends were suffering in their own way. “It tastes good.” And it really did. She passed the goatskin flask to him and he eagerly took it from her, putting it to his lips. It had been a while since it was just the both of them. After Hatshepsut’s marriage to her brother Senenmut stopped visiting the palace, he stayed at home sulking and Hotep stayed with him. This moment with him, sharing beer on the sunny streets, was one of the best she had had for some time now. Hotep gave her the flask and she took a swig. She took his hand in hers and swung it up and down as they walked. He released his hand from hers and put his arm on her shoulders, pulling her to his side. “I don’t know if Senenmut is going to be okay, Jeska, especially now that we’ve been drafted.” Her arm that was raised to wrap around his shoulder immediately went slack. She dropped it and stepped away from him. He seemed to realize his slip-up the exact moment she did. “Drafted? What do you mean you’ve been drafted?” She could not understand what he meant. He could not mean what she thought, right? Hotep was barely twelve years of age. He looked about ready to speak but she interrupted him. “When were you going to tell me? Were you even going to tell me about it?” “I was going to tell you, but it wasn’t going to be now.” He looked around at their surroundings, hinting that people were watching them. “I didn’t want you to be sad or scared. You’ve been so sad since Hatshepsut and Thutmose got married.” He made to reach for her, but she moved back. The expression that came over his face broke her heart, but she needed to figure things out. “I am going to the palace to visit Hatshepsut. Please don’t follow me.” She pleaded with him. “I just need someone to explain this to, someone that will understand. Does she know?” He shook his head. “He hasn’t told her yet. He was going to tell her.” At her skeptical raise of an eyebrow he nodded his head. “He really was going to tell her, but she probably already knows. It’s Hatshepsut we are talking about.” She smiled at him and nodded, turning in the opposite direction. The entire way to the palace, Jeska struggled to keep her tears at bay but her heart wept. Hatshepsut had never seen Jeska look as tired as she did right then. The other girl was definitely more beautiful than she was, but she looked like she had a few tears to shed; Hatshepsut was now a connoisseur of tears. “What happened?” She held her dear friend in her arms and stroked her hair. “Do you know?” She pulled away from her and at her blank look Jeska continued. “About Senenmut?” Endless possibilities of what could have happened to him crossed through Hatshepsut’s mind. “What happened to him? Is he okay?” “He’s fine. He’s okay, I guess. It’s just that–” “What?” She insisted. “Hotep and Senenmut have been drafted into the army. Hotep just told me, against his wishes.” “When are they going?” Her voice was barely above a whisper, as if she was trying to stop her words from becoming a reality. “I don’t know. I didn’t ask Hotep.” Jeska shrugged her shoulders. “Are you okay?” She shook her head. “He hasn’t come to see me, Jeska.” No, she was not okay. The scent of spices was the first thing that greeted Jeska when she stepped into her house. It meant that mother must be preparing dinner. She looked down the corridor and was about to cross the hallway when something – no, someone – ran past her in a blur of naked skin and black hair. She quickly grabbed an arm and pulled Jabari to her. “What are you running from, eh?” She lifted him in her arms, the light from the floating wicks in ceramic pots illuminated his face. He giggled and struggled against her, squirming in her arms, trying to get down but she held in to him. “Ahmose is chasing me. I don’t want him to catch me.” She put him down and he immediately made to run again but she held his arm. “Be careful, okay? Don’t fall down too much.” He nodded quickly and she let go. He ran off as quickly as he came. She stepped forward just as someone ran past her, almost tripping her. “Ahmose!” She called after his running figure. He shouted over his shoulder even as he ran. “Sorry.” She sighed and shook her head, checking the corridor to make sure nobody was running toward her. Mother and father would know that she was home now. Just as she stepped inside the kitchen father turned to her. “You come home now?” His voice boomed across the stone walls. She cringed at the anger in his voice. “I was at the palace.” She hoped her answer appeased them. “And you didn’t think to tell us? Do you know how worried we would have been if that boy, Hotep, hadn’t told us?” Somehow, her mother’s soft voice sounded even more intimidating than her father’s. Hotep. She had forgotten about Hotep. Did he wait for her at the market stalls? “I’m sorry, mother. Father. Hatshepsut sent a guard to accompany me home. I promise I was safe.” Her father simply shook his head. “The boy… he told us about his conscription into the army.” He paused as if unsure how to proceed with his statement. “We know that you like him, and we just wanted to know if you’re okay.” Jeska was vaguely embarrassed by what her father told her, but she was extremely touched. She quickly walked to her dad and hugged him, burying her head in his chest. She felt her mother wrap her arms around them both, lightly squeezing them. “Hey! They – they’re having a family moment without us.” They separated to see Jabari run towards them. He jumped into her father’s arms and he was spun around and placed on the tiles. Ahmose appeared from the corner and pouted at them. “Do I get a spin too?” This elicited a laugh from everyone. This is my family. In the next few days, Jeska learned that Hotep’s consignment was going to be in a fortnight. The worst part about it all was that he and Senenmut were posted to different orders; maybe if they had been placed together, they would be able to protect one another. Senenmut had not visited Hatshepsut and they had a day before they were dispatched to their orders. Hotep had told her not to be worried about them. “They will sort it out, Jeska. Trust me, my brother is not going to let go of Hatshepsut that easily. We are still young, Jeska.” That was what he had told her, but she could not stop worrying. She was in Hotep’s home with him and Senenmut but Senenmut looked far from okay. He hardly even smiled at her when she entered the house with Hotep. “We’ll have to serve for five years, compulsorily, before we can retire.” Hotep was explaining the things she needed to know about their service while sitting in the central room. Even though she asked him to, she did not want to know how they were going to be apart for five years. Five years away was half of her friends gone. “I don’t think Jeska wants to hear about these things.” Hotep’s mother interrupted him. Jeska silently thanked her for saving her. “Why don’t you two leave the house? You could go to the market, buy some sweets.” Hotep looked at her, as if to ask if that was what she wanted and Jeska nodded. “Do you want to come with us Senenmut? Jeska and I know a place where we can get good sweets and bread.” Senenmut just shook his head. Their mother turned to Senenmut, concern written all over her features. “You have to go out –” “Please, mother.” Senenmut shook his head. It was then that Jeska could see his heartbreak so clearly. This boy who had barely lived for thirteen years had suffered in such a short time. Hotep stood up quickly, tugging her with him. “We’ll bring some sweets for you, Senenmut.” He gave his mother a tight-lipped smile and made for the door. When he reached his older brother, he simply squeezed his shoulder and continued walking. No, he was not okay. “I’ll see you tomorrow morning, Senenmut. I’ll come to see you off.” Jeska released her hand from Hotep’s and bent to hug Senenmut. “We miss you.” She whispered to his ear and pressed her forehead to his temple for solidarity then straightened, following Hotep. They walked to the market in silence, each focused on their own thoughts. Tomorrow, she would see Hotep off and she wouldn’t see him for the next five years. “Let’s get married.” The shock on Hotep’s face would have been priceless if it were because of another thing. “Did you just say, ‘let’s get married’?” Her heart was beating so fast and it seemed so loud. Can he hear it? “Five years is such a long time, Hotep. I already miss you and you’re right beside me. Imagine how it’ll be tomorrow or in a full moon or even a year. Let’s become husband and wife.” “Jeska, we can’t just – what if you find someone else that you like?” He looked flush, like he could not believe they were having this conversation. She scoffed at his words. “There isn’t anyone but you, Hotep. There would never be anyone but you.” It wasn’t that he didn’t look convinced by her words; it was that he looked scared – that was what made Jeska afraid. “Even if I wanted to, even if… even if, Jeska. The military does not allow soldiers to be married so our contract wouldn’t be honored.” Those words shattered her heart. She felt so ashamed for even suggesting marriage. She never even thought of him wanting someone else. “But it’s only you, Jeska. Only you.” He cupped her cheeks in his hands and tilted her face toward him. “I’ve never kissed you before.” He brought his lips down to hers and Jeska could taste honey on his lips. Always so sweet, Hotep. Jeska woke early in the morning, before the cock crowed a second time. In all her life, she had never woken up this early. That was because you never had a reason to. She quickly wore her gown and wrapped a sash around it to hold it in place. It was colder this early in the morning, so she grabbed a scarf and set for the door. She passed the workroom on her way and saw father seated at a bench attached to the worktable. She stopped by to greet him. “Father.” He turned to her, clearly startled. It looked like he had not been in the workroom for long because the wicks looked freshly lit – they always blew them out before they went to sleep. “Jeska, you’re going now?” “Yes. Hotep told me they leave very early in the morning. He’ll be waiting for me.” “Let me accompany you. It’s too early for you to go out on your own.” He made to stand, already picking up his scarf from where it was hung on the back of a chair. “No one’s going to be up by this time, father. I promise I’ll go and come back before you know it. I’ll be safe.” He looked like he was pondering the merit of her words, so she continued. “You know it isn’t a far distance from here to his house.” He finally nodded. “Fine, you can go alone but be fast and don’t talk to anyone you don’t know.” She nodded at him and started walking toward the door. “And run if they try to grab you.” “Yes, father. I’ll even punch them for good measure.” As she stepped out of the house, she heard him: “that’s my girl.” A smile took over her face. She immediately started running, the cool morning breeze touching her face and stinging her nose. She wrapped the scarf even tighter and pulled it over her nose. She slowed down as she approached Hotep’s home. He would probably be inside because of the cold. She stepped to the door and knocked on it. As she waited, she rubbed her hands together, trying to get heat in them. The door opened to reveal Hotep’s father. Jeska had only seen Hotep’s father a few times in all the years she had known his son because he was always away doing something. “Yes?” He squinted down at her. He probably did not remember her; the last time she saw him was when she was in her eighth year. She cleared her throat and spoke. “I’m Jeska. I am friends with Hotep and Senenmut. I came to see them before they go for their military service.” A flash of recognition sparked in his eyes at her name. “I am sorry, but my sons have already gone. Senenmut wanted to stay longer, said he was waiting for someone but Hotep insisted that they leave so we sent them off with some other boys.” Jeska did not understand what this man was saying to her. She could see his lips moving but it was as if she was in a bubble. He just left. Senenmut wanted to stay a little longer to say goodbye to her but he just left? He left without saying goodbye. CHAPTER FIVE Her father looked worried again. He always looked worried these days. Whenever they asked him why, he said it was old age catching up with him and Ahmose always replied to him saying he had not even seen his fortieth year. “You haven’t even lived up to forty years, father. It can’t be old age. You are still a young man.” Ahmose insisted, always with Jabari furiously nodding his head and humming in agreement. Jeska just watched them because she knew better - that her father was old. Most people did not get to live as long as her father did. Most people were peasants whose living conditions were not as good as her father’s. Some people did not even have access to the herbs that her father did – for crying out loud, father was a healer. “Are you not going to the workshop today, Jeska? Can I go with you?” Now Jabari was pleading with her for permission to follow her. She really needed to leave the house before she succumbed to his wishes. “No, you cannot go with me, Jabari. You will only distract me if you go with me because I will have to look after you and make sure you don’t enter any trouble. Besides, you have lessons, don’t you?” As much as she loved her brothers, she did not like getting distracted when she was working, and Jabari would be a distraction. She did not know how to deny him directly and she found herself helpless but before she could breakdown and possibly destroy her relationship with her youngest brother, her father interfered. “You both have lessons today, why are you still at home? Is it because your mother is at the market? I will close my eyes and when I open them, I don’t want to see the both of you here again, alright?” Before father could even finish his sentence, Ahmose and Jabari fled the central room, going to their room to get their papyrus. Jabari threw an exaggerated sad face over his shoulder at her and she gave him a similar one before Ahmose dragged him away. At once they were gone; she breathed a sigh of relief and hastened to thank her father, feeling like a co-conspirator. “Thank you, papa. You don’t know the problems you just saved me from. I would have had to buy a dozen sweets and breads to compensate him and restore our relationship.” Her father just smiled at her, amusement in his eyes. “Are you going to the workshop today?” He tried to phrase his question as casual but Jeska knew what he was really asking. Are you still going to the workshop to exhaust yourself and forget your pain, even if just for a minute? Are you going to work to forget him? “You know you can have free days, Jeska.” “Father –” “You don’t always have to work every single day.” Jeska lied; she omitted the truth and that still counts as lying. Father’s worry was not caused by old age alone, as he always said, it was caused by her. She gave her father those few streaks of white that could be found in his hair. She made her father worry. He worried for her well-being, her happiness. She wasn’t like the other young ladies her age, readying to be married and start a happy family. He worried she would miss out on that part of living, that part of life, because she chose to work herself to forget. “I know. I have to do this, father, people need me to heal them. If I’m not there, then who will heal them? If I’m not there, then who will be?” Her father looked as surprised at her outburst as she was, if his raised eyebrows were anything to go by. Embarrassed, she quickly packed her things and stood up to leave. “I’ll be back early. Please greet mother when she gets back from the market.” She was at the hall leading to the door when he called out to her. “Be careful!” “I will.” And she always was. Except for that one time some five years ago on a cold morning when a boy left with her heart. What else was left to take from her? “These are the herbs I collected specially for you. You have to take them, Nanu,” she directed at the older woman standing in opposite the small table she got for her workshop, “else they will not work, and the pain will continue.” The woman looked annoyed by the herbs but there was only so much Jeska could do. She knew the herbs were bitter and foul-smelling, but she could not sweeten them for her; they only worked this way. “How long do I have to take it before it is finished? I don’t want to have to take it for longer than necessary.” Nanu squeezed her nose as if she could already smell the mixture of herbs but Jeska knew she could not smell it because the flask was airtight. “Three sunsets should do the trick. You will take a gulp at the break of day and take another at sunset, for three days, Nanu. Now, I’m not supposed to do this,” she smiled mischievously at the older woman, “but because you are one of my favorite patients, I will give you this so that you can use it after you have taken the herbs.” She brought out a flask and handed it to Nanu. “What is inside here, Jeska? You know you can be mischievous.” Suspicion was written all over Nanu’s features and Jeska would have been offended if she did not agree with her. “Relax, Nanu, it’s nothing serious, just something I prepared for my special patients to take after the herbs. It’s a special blend of honey and dates.” She winked at the woman who just laughed and shook her head. “You are something else, Jeska.” With a fond smile on her face, Nanu took the herbs and Jeska’s sugary mixture and left the workshop. Finally alone, Jeska looked around her small workshop, a tired smile on her face. It was well into evening, in that stage of the day when the dark threatened to spread its huge imposing self on everyone. Mother and father would be worried about her; they always were. It didn’t matter that she had seen her fifteenth year a few days ago, they still got worried whenever she stayed out late. Now that she was older – all of fifteen years and counting – her father built a small workshop for her in the little village not too far from the palace. She had already completed her training, so she did not need to rely on him as much as she used to. Plus, it was an advantage for the people that lived in the village because they could get good treatment for an even lesser cost. Jeska still remembered the day she became a practicing healer. It seemed like yesterday. That day, she wore a heavily jeweled statement necklace given to her by Hatshepsut and Thutmose for her eleventh year, her best white linen, even without mother forcing her to, and put on some makeup. She still remembered mother’s exclamation. “Jeska! You look like a human being, Jeska. Akhethetep, you need to see our first born!” Jeska could swear there were tears in her eyes. Only her mother would cry because her daughter put on makeup for the first time without being forced to. Father was so proud of her. She did not think she had ever seen him as emotional as he was then. He just kept on hugging her, whispering to her: “you’ve made me so proud, Jeska. Your grandmother would have been so proud of you. Thank you. Thank you.” And she just kept hugging him. The celebration ceremony was a very private one that was attended by a few close friends and family and they had hosted it at the palace courtesy of Pharaoh and his wife. Even if they were not as close as they were when they were children, Jeska still invited Hatshepsut and Thutmose to the celebration. It was later that Hatshepsut sent a servant to ask her if she could host it at the palace because she and Thutmose wanted to be there for her. That was how Jeska hosted her small congratulatory party at the palace with Pharaoh and his Queen present. Thutmose and Hatshepsut wanted to build her a workshop, but Jeska politely declined because her father’s plans to build were underway, and they understood - otherwise they might have been offended at her declination. Father did receive help from the royal architect for design and structure. She tidied up the little shop, packing up everything she would need the next day. She never left her things in the workshop because anybody could steal them, so she took them home with her and brought them back the next day. Sometimes patients requested for a particular herb or remedy for an ailment, and she brought it the next day. She picked up her bag from one of the chairs in the room and made to leave when she saw a figure at the door. Her regular visitors knew that she closed way before this time. The only reason she stayed back this late was because she needed some time to get over the embarrassment and guilt she still felt whenever she thought of her outburst earlier in the day. Besides, she still had to drop by one of those little stalls that sold sweets and bread so that she could give them to Jabari. She never knew when she would need to appease him; she could even find that they proved helpful in blackmailing him. “I’m sorry but the store is already closed for today. If it’s anything urgent I can help but if it isn’t, I’m afraid I’ll have to go.” She swung her bag over her shoulder, taking a few steps to the door. She already knew the person was a man and she had to be ready in case he decided to try something funny. The person stepped into the room now, the shadows covering half of his face, but it did not matter. She would know that face anywhere. She would recognize that stance – it did not matter the amount of years that had passed. She just knew she would. “Hotep?” The thing was that even if Jeska was as sure as she had ever been of anything in her life she still had to know; she had seen too many people over the years and, out of desperation, she had thought they were him. The figure stepped closer to her and the light from the wicks chased the shadows away. No, not Hotep. A close second. “Senenmut.” “Five years went by, didn’t it?” He smiled at her, but it seemed more like a grimace. It did. Indeed, it did. CHAPTER SIX Jeska thought that Hatshepsut’s private chambers had not changed much. The only thing different was that she had moved from the chambers she occupied as princess, daughter of the former Pharaoh, to the chambers worthy of the Great Royal Wife, wife of Pharaoh, Thutmose II, second of his name. Hatshepsut even maintained the decorations and wall paintings she had in her former chambers as princess, it seemed that not much had changed with the Queen. Hatshepsut was seated by the window, her gaze focused outside the window but her attention on Jeska. The tip of her gown was wrapped around her hand, her fingers playing with the beads that trailed down. “You don’t look surprised.” Jeska cast a glance at Hatshepsut. It seemed strange now, thinking of her as Hatshepsut, rather than Queen or Great Royal Wife but she was still her friend and she had some privileges. “I already knew that he was back. You should know me, Jeska. I was obviously going to keep tabs on him – and Hotep.” She added the last part hastily as if she could sense the other girl’s muted indignation. “And you didn’t think to tell me?!” Hatshepsut looked at her then, her eyes widened in warning as if to say careful, we might be friends, but I am Queen. Jeska barely even realized that she had raised her voice. She knew they were no longer children and the girl she knew from her childhood was not the woman sitting in the room with her. It did not matter that Hatshepsut had the same taste in decoration as she did as a child; that barely mattered as she registered the fact that she barely knew the woman in front of her. Jeska quickly softened her words. “Maybe you should have told me about his return because I was not prepared to see him – in my shop, no less.” “I would have told you, but I forgot to.” The Queen acquiesced. Somehow Jeska knew that was not the truth. The Hatshepsut she knew would never forget a thing; especially not something like this. “I thought he was Hotep, Hatshepsut. I didn’t even know what to do when I found out it wasn’t him.” “I’m sorry about that. He came back a day before he went to your shop. I tried to reach out to him, but he didn’t want anything to do with me, Jeska. He’s still heartbroken about my marriage to Thutmose and I don’t know what to do, Jeska. I sent letters to him all through the years he was in the military, but he didn’t respond to any and…” The other girl trailed off, tears running down her face freely, the kohl around her eyes trailing down her cheeks. Jeska could not stand to see her friend like this so it did not take much thought for her to walk over to the other girl and gather her into her arms. They were both going through their own things, but they would get through them eventually – right? Everything about Senenmut had changed. Somehow Jeska knew that he was not the same boy she was friends with some five years before. It was not in his bulkier build or even in his deeper, masculine voice. It was not even in his roguish smile that held a hint of mischief and just beneath the surface, pain. It was in the ache that she could feel radiating around him. It was something tangible and she knew then that this boy who was a man in his own right had seen things that she could only imagine; things that she could barely imagine. “You’ve changed.” Those were the first words Jeska could string together after she had acknowledged the fact that Senenmut was in her shop. Pathetic. Even after all these years she still went weak whenever she thought of him. If it had really been him what would you have done? In a way she was glad it was not Hotep. She did not want to seem naïve to him; little Jeska, still as naïve as she was five years ago. She knew Hotep would never say that to her, but did she really know that - know him? “Five years have gone by, Jeska, of course I’ve changed.” Yes. This was not the boy that Jeska knew. This was not the boy that enthusiastically introduced himself to her the first day they met. This was not the boy that fell in love with a princess. He was not the heartbroken boy that refused to go out for weeks; the same boy that wanted to wait for her the day he went for his military service. No, this was someone else. “Well, I’ve closed shop for the day and I’m going home so you have to leave. You can wait for me outside.” He seemed as surprised at her brusque retort as she was, but he simply shrugged and stepped out, the littlest of smiles on his face. The moment he stepped out of the door Jeska held on to the wall for balance. It seemed as if she could not breathe. This was the first time in years she would come close to something – or someone – that reminded her so much of him. It was funny because she thought of him coming back every other day but today, the day she did not think much about it, his brother decided to show up. The gods must be out for her. She gathered her wits about her and walked out of her workshop, the reed mat covering the doorway swinging behind her. She found Senenmut leaning against the wall to the left, his sandaled feet kicking up dust. He turned to her immediately she stepped out, stepping away from the wall. “You’re going home now?” “No, I have to go to the market stalls to get sweets for Jabari – my brother.” She added the last part because she wanted to know how much had changed; how much he had forgotten. “I remember Jabari, Jeska. I didn’t lose my memory.” He scoffed, as if insulted. Honestly, Jeska just wanted to know if some part of the old Senenmut was still alive. Senenmut had really liked Ahmose and Jabari. Sometimes she thought he liked them even more than she did, maybe even more than Hotep did. “I can’t be too sure, Senenmut, you seem like an entirely different person.” He smiled at her, that grimace still stuck on his face. Senenmut wanted to know how long she could go without asking about Hotep. If she was still the same girl he knew, then it would not be long; that Jeska could not stand not knowing. Sure, she seemed a bit different now, a little rough around the edges but growing up did that to you. Hotep would have loved to see her. Or maybe not. To this day Senenmut did not know what happened between his brother and this beautiful girl in front of him. “Let’s go to the market then, we’ve already wasted enough time here and it’s getting dark. It’s not wise for young girls to walk about in the dark.” Just as he expected her face immediately twisted into a sneer. He would have laughed if she did not look threatening enough as it were. “If you want to follow me to the market then you’d remember not to make remarks like that. I’ve been doing just fine without you and your brother–” she paused, taking a shaky breath, as if she was trying to get herself together. Senenmut wanted to go to her and hug her. It pained him that he could not because they were no longer children and they barely knew each other. She was hurting and she probably had been for the past five years, just like he had been. “Let’s go. We aren’t doing any good just standing here.” He simply nodded and set off beside her at a reasonable distance. They walked in relative silence for a while, the only sounds around them those of children running around and traders still advertising their wares. There was silence between the both of them until she spoke again. “Are you going to visit Hatshepsut?” Senenmut had been expecting that question anytime soon but he was not ready for it. Her name still managed to make him feel like the weakest being in all of Egypt. It did not matter that every night, for five years, he traced her name on his lips, whispering it to the night for the winds to carry wherever they pleased. It still felt as if some phantom hand had taken the remnants of his heart from his chest, squeezing and squeezing, somehow making him feel hollow and heavy at the same time. He marveled at the talent. “I don’t know.” And truly, he did not. He wanted to visit her, but could he bare the pain of knowing that she was married to another? She was not married to a random boy from a wealthy family; she was married to Thutmose II, Pharaoh of all of Egypt, his childhood friend. He turned to Jeska then and he knew that she would see his weakness in his eyes, and his heart on his sleeve but he did not care. “I want to see her, but I think it’ll be too much for me. I – I don’t know if I can do that, Jeska. I don’t think a thousand years in military service would make me strong or tough enough to face her,” he blinked away the tears that were already gathering in his eyes, “and I don’t know what to do.” “You’ll be okay, Senenmut.” She made to reach for his hand but hesitated as if unsure. He stretched out his hand, encouraging her to take it and she did. He missed this; their friendship. He missed her. “Aren’t you going to ask about Hotep?” “He’ll come when he’s ready.” She shook her head at him. “What if he never is?” In that moment she looked about ready to ask him anything about his brother – but she did not. She just tightened her grip on his hand and started swinging their arms up and down. Senenmut thought she would not give an answer to his question until she did. “Then he never will be.” What if he never is? Even as Jeska hugged her friend she found Senenmut’s words going through her head. There was always the possibility that Hotep was not going to come back – that he did not want to come back – and now it was in the forefront of her mind. If he did not come back, then she was going to be as she had been for the past five years. “We’ll be great, Hatshepsut. We’ve been so far, and we will be.” She hugged her Queen, placing her chin on her head. “We will be better.” She did not know for whose benefit she was murmuring those words; for Hatshepsut or herself. CHAPTER SEVEN It had been about a month now since Senenmut came back home and day after day, Jeska discovered new things about him. This new Senenmut did not smile as much as the old one did, and it made her want to weep for him because she was also like that. Why did life have to take away their innocence and burden them with fears, worries, and insecurities? No matter how many times she thought about it she could not think of a reason. He looked better, though. When he first came back his mother kept complaining about how much weight he had lost. “She keeps on saying that I’m bony, Jeska. Am I bony?” He would ask her, raising his arms so that she could see him better. She would always laugh at him and he would scowl at her, pretending to be offended. “You’re not bony… you know how mothers are. I mean, you could probably add a little weight but nothing too much.” He would smile at her then. “It’s not my fault I trained from the break of day till sunset.” No, it was not his fault. They spent a lot of time together, usually in her workshop. The first day he spent with her he just hovered about, as if he did not want to break anything. At first, she had wondered why he was in her shop rather than with his father; Senenmut could be a scribe or even serve as a clerk because of his education. “I know I could be a scribe, but I don’t want to do that. I’m not interested in that.” “Then what are you going to be doing?” She had genuinely wanted to know because he could not just sit at home doing nothing. “Aren’t you going to accompany your father so that you can learn his work and maybe take over someday?” “I am going to be your apprentice.” He had laughed at the perplexed look on her face. “I’m joking – I’m not going to be your apprentice, Jeska. I’m going to hang around here. Don’t worry, Jeska, I have my plans.” She had no doubt that he had his plans; it was Senenmut she was talking about. True to his words, he had been staying in her shop since his first visit and he actually started helping her out. Their proximity started a chain of events that Jeska didn’t notice until a line had been crossed. In her shop, she was in her element and it didn’t take long for Senenmut to notice how good she was at her job. She was compassionate with her patients, even in the face of overwhelming stress and even insults from her patients. When desert lions attacked and injured several people, she stayed calm throughout the whole thing, there was blood everywhere, but still, she continued working, even when her shop was packed with several screaming patients. There was just something about how calm she was, it was almost infectious and when he was around her, sometimes, the dark thoughts that plagued him were quieter. He could finally see what his brother saw in her and he fell in love with her a little bit. Even if he didn’t need her for his plan to succeed, there was still something about her that made her like a drug to him; addictive. They were in her workshop when he dropped the words that would change her life. They were the only two in the workshop – a patient had just left – and she was busying herself with some herbs when he suddenly walked to her worktable. She did not even notice when he stood up from the stool she gave to him. She looked up at him, ready to ask him to move from the light when he spoke. “Let’s get married, Jeska.” She found that her words were stuck in her throat. Let’s get married. Five years ago, she had told a boy those same words, she had begged him. How much of an irony was it that the boy’s brother was speaking those same words to her five years after? “Before you say anything, let’s get our facts straight.” Jeska did not think she was going to say anything; somehow, she had expected this. It was not that Senenmut loved her in a romantic way, she knew that. It was that he loved her in a completely platonic way, and she was the only option he had – they were the only option they had – so she nodded her head, letting him speak. “The girl I love is married to Pharaoh; she’s the Great Royal Wife and there’s probably no future for us. The boy you love is still in the military, you don’t know when he’s coming back or if he’s even coming back. I’ve already seen my eighteenth year and you’ve seen your fifteenth year, Jeska, people are going to start asking when are we going to get married and I don’t think I can marry anyone aside from you. You can think about it, give it sometime but I think this would be the best solution for our problems.” Jeska did not like the way he towered over her, so she stood up, pushing against her stool. He moved back a little, finally letting the light reflect on the worktable. There was truth in what he said but the truth was ugly and Jeska found that she did not like it. “I can’t just marry you. What if…” She trailed off as she realized what she was about to say. “What if Hotep comes back? That’s what you were going to say, wasn’t it?” She was so angry. How dare he speak like that? “Are you going to keep on waiting for my brother? What if he never comes back? What are you going to do then?” “I’m not going to do that to myself – or to you.” He looked confused so she clarified her statement. “I’m not going to marry you out of convenience just so we don’t have to look for other people, just so that we can compete for the title of ‘the most miserable’ in the marriage.” He looked so weak, so sad. If she had a heart to break, it would have been broken into a million tiny pieces, their edges sharp enough to cut. She was not going to let them end up like that. She watched as he nodded and gave her a weak smile. “You’re right. We can’t do that. The option is still open, though.” And with that he retreated to his stool, his fingers busying themselves by twisting a reed. The next day Senenmut did not show up in her shop. He usually got there before her, so she was surprised and a little bit worried. It was not until about midday that someone ran into her shop; by then her heart was beating a mile a minute. She wanted to check his house for him, but she did not want to leave her shop unattended, especially when patients could come at any time. The boy that ran into her shop looked strikingly like Senenmut, but he had Hotep’s smile – the one where he tilted his mouth in a particular way, as if daring you. He could not be more than five years of age, so she was sure his parents had him after their older sons went for military service. “Jeska?” He seemed unsure, as if he was not sure where he was. She nodded at him, letting him know she was Jeska. “Senenmut sent me to you. He can’t come today – he said.” He can’t come? Was it because she did not agree to his proposal? “What’s your name?” “My name is Pairi. Senenmut is my brother.” He seemed nervous; he was even blushing. “Do you like sweets, Pairi?” The boy nodded enthusiastically until he seemed to remember himself. “Ah, I like sweets, but I can’t take any from you. Mother told me not to take things from strangers and Senenmut told me he’ll punish me if he ever finds out that I do.” He seemed sad about it, but he was so cute and Jeska almost laughed. It took considerable restraint to keep herself from laughing. “Well, I’m not a stranger. I used to go to your house when I was small, like you.” He did not seem at all convinced because he questioned her. “Then why did you stop coming?” He looked like he honestly wanted to know. “You know your brother, Hotep?” Pairi nodded enthusiastically. He probably looked up to Hotep, despite the fact that he had never met him. “Well, Hotep and I were very close until he left, and it really hurt me when he left for his military service. I couldn’t go to your house without remembering him and it always made me sad.” The boy watched, his face slowly twisting up in sympathy. He watched as she wiped the tears that were slowly pooling up in her eyes. “Mother and father were sad when he left. Sometimes I hear mother telling father that she wished he had never gone, that’s how I know they were sad.” He had already taken a few steps toward her and he was standing in front of her. He raised a hand to her cheek and wiped away a tear that had slipped down her cheek and, in that moment, it struck Jeska how similar he was to Hotep. She reached down to get a flask from beneath the worktable and his hand slipped from her cheek. She placed the flask on the worktable, pushing it toward him. “You can take this home with you so that you can show your mother and Senenmut.” He looked about ready to interfere and possibly argue but she continued. “Tell them it’s from me to you. If you tell them it’s from me, they won’t punish you. I promise. And tell Senenmut that he can come whenever he wants but I don’t think I’m changing my mind anytime soon.” He had already started retreating towards the door, ready to run the way he came. “Tell him I miss him, okay?” He nodded and shouted as he took off. “Thank you, Jeska. I will!” “That boy, Senenmut, came looking for you.” Those were the first words her mother spoke to her the moment she stepped into the house. “That doesn’t make sense – he could have come to the shop – and why did he send his brother to me if he knew he was going to come here?” Her mother cast a sidelong glance at her. “What? Did he say anything else?” Her mother stood up from the stool she was seated on and walked to the hallway, making Jeska follow her. Did he tell her mother about his stupid proposal? She will think it’s a real one, made out of romantic love, not the sham that it is. Her mother walked to the lower part of their house, where they stored some crops and it was then that she spoke. “The boy wants to marry you, Jeska.” Jeska opened her mouth to speak but her mother interrupted her. “Hold on, I know you have lots to say. Now, I’m not a fool – neither is your father – and we know that boy does not love you like that. We also know you don’t love him in that way; it’s his brother you feel that way for. I assume he already spoke to you about it because you don’t seem so shocked. I know this is a convenient arrangement and your father and I aren’t going to pressure you into anything you don’t want, so you can do whatever you want, as long as it’s reasonable. We don’t want you to marry somebody you don’t love romantically, Jeska. Please don’t feel pushed to do anything you don’t want to.” “Mother–” Her mother held up a hand, telling her that she was not done. “I am not going to judge you. If the entire world is against you, your father and I will be for you, Jeska. We don’t know if you’re waiting for that Hotep but… but we advise you not to. I don’t know how true it is, but I’ve heard some people say that Hotep is not coming back. He isn’t hurt but some people are saying that he loves the military with all of his heart, even more than his parents.” Those last few words burned through Jeska in a way that nothing ever had. She never told her parents what happened that morning when she went to see him off. They had always just assumed she saw Hotep off. Those words only confirmed what she feared. If Hotep loved the military more than his parents, did he ever love her? No wonder he had not come home; the military was his home. Maybe in a few years he would look back and think I was so foolish in my childhood, thinking I could love a girl or even my parents more than the military. I’m glad I found my true love. “I understand, mother. Senenmut told me about the possibility of him not coming back and I was already prepared. If it’s okay, I want to get married as soon as possible. Senenmut and I are very close friends and I think we would be able to live together as a married couple.” Her mother looked shocked; she clearly was not expecting her to agree to Senenmut’s proposal, but she could not have been as shocked as Jeska was. I’m getting married – to Senenmut. CHAPTER EIGHT Jeska found that Senenmut’s house had not changed much since the last time she was here some five years ago. A few extensions had been added to the house and the brick looked a bit stronger and newer, probably because of the flood that came a while ago but nothing significant had changed. As she stepped into the house with her father memories of her last time here kept playing in her head. I am sorry but my sons have already gone… Hotep insisted that they leave. Some of her saddest memories were here but she was going to make better ones. “Welcome.” She looked down to see the little boy from her shop, Pairi. “Papa and Senenmut are in the central room. You should follow me.” With that he took off, occasionally looking over his shoulder to be sure they were following him. He was such a bubble of life; he reminded Jeska of Jabari. Pairi led them to the inner part of the house and Jeska began to recognize even more things. The stools that Senenmut’s mother placed in different parts of the hallway for whatever reason were still there, although some looked new. They turned a corner and stepped into the central room. Jeska was hit with memories the moment she walked into the central room. Everything reminded her of Hotep; the stools in the corner, the small table in the middle of the room, everything. She glanced to the left and saw at the bottom of the wall an inscription. Jeska and Hotep – love. It was all false; everything significant had changed. Hotep was not here – that was perhaps the greatest change. “Jeska?” It was then that she looked at the inhabitants of the room. She had been so caught up in her thoughts and memories that she had forgotten what she was there for. Senenmut looked handsome in his robe – a white cloth that he wrapped around his body and held with a belt; on it were beads of different colors. His mother must have spun it for him. “Sorry, I got…” She trailed off, not knowing what to say but he nodded, showing her that he understood. “It’s been a while since I was here.” “We understand – five years is a long time.” At Senenmut’s words a stiff laughter echoed around the room. This was the worst thing she had ever done to herself. As she sat down on a raised stool made of reed her father leaned in to her. “You don’t have to go through with this, Jeska. It isn’t too late to cancel this.” In response to him she leaned away from him and faced Senenmut and his father who were watching them intently. “My father and I came here to draw up the necessary contract for the marriage and we agreed that I will be present for it so if we could get to that…” It seemed that trailing off in the middle of her sentences was going to be her trademark for the day. “We have no problem with you being present for the contract, you are practically family.” Senenmut’s father sat up then, ready to document everything. His job as a scribe came in handy then. He took the papyrus placed on the chair beside him and laid it on the table in front of him. “Now this has not been the most conventional arrangement but,” he glanced at Jeska and Senenmut, “we will have to make it work. This contract signifies that my son, Senenmut, and your daughter, Jeska, will have equal rights to maintenance and possessions during the marriage and, should they decide to separate, it will remain so.” As Senenmut’s father told them all the elements that the marriage contract would entail, Jeska found her eyes straying to Senenmut. He looked calm – that made one of them. Why am I doing this? I don’t have to get married to him – or anybody. He looked up at that moment, as if he could hear her thoughts but a slight shake of the head and a smile told her he was only reading her facial expressions. Jeska was panicking; Senenmut could see that much. He wished he could stop this, but it was all part of the plan. By now, word would have reached Hatshepsut of his marriage to her best friend and she would be beyond furious. If he knew her well enough, she would even take some drastic measures, some of which were beyond his control, but he did not mind. As long as his plan worked, and Hatshepsut got so jealous that all she would see would be red then he was fine with it. His plan, right from the moment he finished his military service, was to make Hatshepsut so jealous that she had no choice but to beg him – she would plead with him to take her however he wanted. And he would deny her until he was ready. The moment he realized that no ordinary girl would make Hatshepsut jealous was the day his plan took its full form – the only girl Hatshepsut was the slightest bit envious of was Jeska, her best friend. It was then that he decides to use Jeska in his plan. It was funny how things worked, really. He knew he could not get Hatshepsut to marry him, so he married the next best girl; Jeska, the love of his brother’s life. He could already imagine the look that would be on Hotep’s face when he finds out that Jeska had married him. If all went well, Hotep would return home by the next new moon. For now, Senenmut just looked around the room, taking in the inevitable chaos that was sure to happen; he could already see it. He was right; the news hit Hatshepsut hard, her mind raced as she tried to come to terms with the news. Tears streamed down her face as she collapsed, leaning heavily on a table as she stared at a spot on the wall. She didn't see anything through her tears, but there was a servant there, watching her, so she kept herself from sobbing loudly. She kept thinking about their betrayal, there had to be a reason for this but she didn't know what it could be, and soon her sadness turned to anger. "Get me a guard." She said to the servant after carefully wiping away her tears. By the time the guard arrived, her face was fresh, clean, with no sign of the turbulent emotions that bubbled underneath. It only took two well placed orders for her plans to be set into motion, she smiled to herself as the guard walked away, Jeska and Senenmut would have no choice but to face the people they betrayed. Hours later, the first step of her plan had arrived in her room, dragged in by two guards and shackled at the wrists. It was all she could do to not gasp; Senenmut had grown into an angry man. Somehow his anger had made him even more magnetic as he eyed her with thinly veiled disdain. “Take the shackles off him and leave us.” She said to the guards, if they felt any misgivings about following her orders, it didn’t show on their faces. The guards had learnt long ago that the queen would not abide any questions to her authority, it was better to just follow her orders without question. Even when the shackles came off and guards left, the look of disdain in Senenmut’s eyes stayed. “Why did you do it?” She finally asked, tired of looking into his eyes and searching for an answer. “I don’t have to explain anything to you, Hatshepsut, or should I just call you Queen? You are married to someone else; you have no right to answers from me.” He all but spat the words at her; his anger seemed to vibrate from him, infecting the queen. She took a step back at first, taken aback by the changes in him, he had never spoken to her like that before, they years had made him meaner. But he wasn’t the only one who had changed; she wasn’t the same girl he once knew and she proved that by walking up to him, stalking him like a hunter tracks prey. “You’re wrong, I am the Great Royal Wife, any questions I have, you will answer! You will not disrespect me, I own this palace, I own this kingdom, and if I want to, I will own you!” She yelled at him, making sure he understood how serious she was about it. She was a queen and she would not be denied. Surprisingly, this new side of her didn’t repulse Senenmut, instead, it excited him. The fact that she stood strong in the face of his anger and dared to push back was truly thrilling for him. She wasn’t a girl anymore, she was a woman of great power, he smiled at her, this was an unexpected bonus. His plan was to have her at least once, but already he knew that she would own his soul and once, would never be enough. “I do not know why you are doing this, you’re married and I’m getting married, we can’t be together.” He said slowly, as if he was trying to make sure she heard every single word he said. “Yes, and the person you decided to marry is my best friend! You cannot expect me to believe you did not do this on purpose to try to make me hate her! Have you even considered what this would do to your brother? Hotep loves her!” She screamed at him, this time, she was sure that her voice must have echoed around her room and the hallway leading to it, and it must have reached the ears of the guards guarding the door. If she was inclined to worry about what gossip could come of this, she would have reined in her anger but she was too far gone to care. “This isn’t about that, but you’re just jealous. As for Hotep, I’ll cross that bridge when I get to it.” He spoke calmly, knowing it would only infuriate her more. He was right, as she seemed to vibrate with anger at his words, but to his surprise, instead of an outburst, he got a deadly smile from her. “Well, you should get ready to cross that bridge sooner than you expected.” She practically crowed, because she had done something big, something not even he could have predicted. “What did you do?” He said. “I only made sure your brother would be around to witness your betrayal with his own eyes.” She lifted her chin, confident that the threat of his brother would be enough for her to win their little war of wills. But Senenmut had one purpose when he let the guards shackle him, and he refused to leave without fulfilling it. “I need you like I need the air I breathe. You cannot leave your husband and I will marry Jeska, but still, I need you” He finally said to her, he offered no promises, because any promise they gave each other at this point would be a lie. Hatshepsut couldn’t pretend, she knew when she summoned him that things between them would come to this. She had done what was best for her brother when she married him, it wasn’t a decision that she could take back, and Senenmut was stubborn. He was stubborn enough to go through with the wedding and doom himself to a loveless marriage. All they would have is a moment, a moment that they would have to steal to make their own. With that thought, her mind was made up, she drew close to him, wound her hands around his neck and kissed him. The first kiss was light, teasing and heavy with the promise of something more, she pulled away to stare at him, her brave warrior and wonder what could have been if life had not been so cruel to them. “You won’t have to walk the Duat alone. I’ll be there with you.” She said, before lowering her arms, giving him the chance to walk away if he wanted to. With a small laugh, he drew her closer for a deeper kiss, one that spoke of darker desire than the one they once shared as little children. They did not need words to communicate their need, and soon, they both stumbled into her chamber to follow through on their unspoken promise; one night. At first it seemed as if nothing had changed but when he looked closer, he could see that everything had changed. His trained eyes were now accustomed to spotting the change in places, as well as the occasional oddity. Hotep squinted his eyes against the sun, raising his arm to shield his face from the harsh rays of the sun. Just because he had been training under the sun for some five years now did not mean it did not affect him. His skin was noticeably darker than most people of his class because of years spent training under the sun and as he walked down the streets that were brimming with workers and vendors advertising their goods, he realized that he could easily be mistaken for one of them. He was not supposed to be home from his service until the new moon, but his commander suddenly told him that he had been given permission to go on a brief leave. The only people that were authorized to give soldiers leave were Pharaoh and his Great Royal Wife so he could not help but wonder what Hatshepsut wanted from him that could not wait till the next new moon. He knew it was Hatshepsut because Thutmose would not have time for things like this and if the rumors he had been hearing were true, the Queen was the one ruling the people. He was going to see the Queen, but he had important things to do before that. He already knew that Hatshepsut would be aware that he had arrived, but he did not care; he had been away for five years and he had to see her, or he thought he was going to die. He did not mind begging her to take him back; he would grovel if he had to. He would beg her to wait till the next new moon for his service to be over so that they could get married. He would do anything for her even though she hated him, especially after he turned her down that night some five years ago. As he thought of her, he increased his pace and hoped her house was still in its former position. It did not matter, though, he would search all the corners of Egypt and even beyond for her. The closer he got to her house the faster his heart beat in his chest. It's going to be okay, Hotep. It's okay. He repeated those words over and over to himself, the closer he got. Finally, he got to her house and just as he was about to enter, a boy stepped out. Hotep would recognize that boy anywhere; it also helped that he was a striking image of his sister. “Ahmose.” The boy turned to him and squinted up at him. Hotep saw the moment the boy recognized him. It was when the slight frown on his face was replaced by a smile so beautiful it blocked out the sun. It was when he started walking toward him, a lilt in his steps. “Hotep, you’re here. We heard you weren’t coming back.” Ahmose stopped in front of him and it was then that Hotep noticed that the younger boy was less than a foot shorter than him. “Where did you hear that?” They started walking towards the house, Hotep slightly behind the younger boy. “Everyone was saying that,” he paused then and stopped in his tracks, causing Hotep to stop behind him. “I almost forgot, I’m sorry – let me help you with your bag.” He had already moved to collect the bag but Hotep stepped back. “Don’t bother yourself, it isn’t heavy.” If there was one thing that had not changed at all it was Jeska’s parents and their severity when it came to training their children. “Mother will kill me if I don’t help you.” Ahmose looked genuinely scared but Hotep knew he was just exaggerating. “I’ll tell her that you offered to help but I refused your help because I wanted to carry it myself.” The boy still looked doubtful but he nodded and continued walking. As they stepped into the house, out of habit, Hotep found himself looking down the hall for Jeska’s workshop. He doubted she still worked there because she must have become a practicing healer and gotten her own workshop. “She was supposed to go to her workshop today, but she’s been busy with everything that’s been going on.” He was about to ask the boy what he meant by his statement when they walked into the central room. Hotep found that he suddenly was unable to breathe. His heavy, fluttering heart was beating a mile a minute and he was afraid he was going to faint at any moment. She had not noticed them yet and he was struck with a sudden urge to run away and possibly come back at another time – or never come back. It was as if she read his thoughts because she turned to him then; no, she turned to her brother. She had not yet seen him. “I thought I told you not to come in here unless it was absolutely necessary! You know father isn’t going to like hearing that you disturbed me when I was packing…” She trailed off as she shifted her gaze slightly to the left and Ahmose leaves the room. Hotep saw her freeze but it was only when she looked at the things scattered on the floor that he understood. It was only when she started gathering them to a corner, as if she was trying to hide them from him that he understood. It was then that he noticed the small bags scattered across the room, some full of clothes and other personal items. He looked up at her then. Somehow, he managed to drag his gaze from the bags and clothes to her face and he found her already staring at him. Everything was clear now. He understood what Ahmose had meant when he said Jeska had been busy but now he wished he could go back to not knowing. CHAPTER NINE It was sad that she did not prepare for his presence. She wanted to scream at how collected he seemed; even now, when her world was falling apart his was standing firm. It made her think he did this every other day. Perhaps he did. He would go to the houses of girls that had been in love with him for more than half of their lives and show them that yes, I know how to play with your heart. No, it did not matter that people had said he was not coming back. No, it did not matter that she had gotten married to his brother the day before. None of that mattered now that he was here. “You’re married.” Those were the first words he could say to her? At first, she wanted to answer him, to tell him that yes, she was married, she was married to his older brother, but her anger took over. “You come now?! After how many years of waiting for you, of looking for you, Hotep, you come now, after I’ve gotten married!” She stopped then. She could not explain it, but she knew that it would break him to find out that she was married to his brother. She could not do that to him; he already looked broken enough as it was. She saw him swallow, saw the bob in his throat and knew what he wanted to ask her. She could not tell him that, so she shook her head, silently pleading with him not to ask her. “Who is he?” He looked so lost. This man with her heart, standing right here, in front of her. “Jeska, I – I need to know who he is. Please.” His voice broke on the last word and she felt herself break. “Hotep.” She sobbed his name, tears now sliding down her face freely. “Hotep, please.” She could barely see him walk to her, so it was not until he held her by her shoulders that she realized he had even moved. “Who is it, Jeska?” He released her shoulder to wipe her cheek with his fingers, the kohl around her eyes staining his fingers but he did not seem to mind. She looked away from his eyes, their intensity too much for her. “I didn’t – I wanted to – it’s Senenmut.” The moment she spoke his brother’s name, Hotep went stiff. His hands on her shoulder tightened just the slightest bit and he released her immediately. He took a step away from her, but it felt like they were separated by miles once more. It felt like they were on opposite sides of a divide. It was like he was in the military once more and she was just a civilian; an ordinary person. “You’re married to my brother. Senenmut – you’re married to Senenmut.” He intertwined his fingers and placed them behind his neck, turning away from her. He seemed to need some time alone, but then suddenly, he whirled to her, his fingers by his side now. “You married my brother! Jeska, you married my brother–” “I married Senenmut because he was here when I needed him!” She could not stand it. She had to cut him short. “Everyone knew you weren’t going to come back anyways! I couldn’t wait for you, hoping that you’d come someday. It killed me every day, waiting for you, Hotep. I thought I was going crazy!” “My service was going to end by the next new moon. I was going to come back, Jeska. I couldn’t not come back for you. The only reason I stayed as long as I did was because my commander did not want to let me go at first. He needed me because he felt I was the most valuable of the team. I would’ve come since, Jeska, I just couldn’t. It wasn’t until recently that I was able to get my retirement notice. I’ve been working so hard to come back to you; I swear I would’ve begged you to take me back. I would’ve done anything for you, Jeska. I still would.” Jeska could see the truth in his words; she could hear the sincerity coming from him. But it was too late. “It doesn’t matter now. It’s too late for anything to happen. I’m already married.” Even as she spoke those words, she felt her chest cave in. Hotep simply nodded at her, his lips in a tight line, a few streaks of dried tears on his face. She watched as he turned around to pick up his bag and leave. It was not until he was at the exit that she called to him. “Hotep!” He turned to her then, his expression telling her that he was just a push away from complete breakdown. She stepped closer to him and stopped when she was a few feet away from him. “I have a shop – a workshop – by the stalls. You’ll know it when you see it. If you can – later in the night, when everyone is asleep – we should meet.” Jeska had never been as grateful as she was in that moment for the shadows in the room. They were the only things keeping him from seeing her heated face. She had a feeling that even if he had seen her face he would not have commented. All he did was nod and give a mumbled bye. Jeska slowly crept from her room to the hallway, her sandals in her hand and her scarf around her neck. She was walking on the tips of her toes so that she would not make a single sound on that stone floor - thank the gods for Hatshepsut’s stone floor present. She was barely even breathing as she made her way to the entrance of her house. She was at the door when she heard a sound from somewhere inside the house. She froze with her hand on the mat that covered the entrance. She stayed in that position until she was sure it was just one of her brothers murmuring in their sleep and she slipped out, letting the mat fall into place behind her. It was not until she was outside her house that she let out the breath she did not even realize she had been holding. She did not even bother to wear her slippers; she took off immediately. As she ran the cold air beat her face mercilessly, but she did not mind. She felt a laugh bubble within her, and she opened her mouth to let it out. She could not believe she was doing this. She could not believe Hotep was back. Not back, she internally scolded herself, just for today and maybe tomorrow. He wasn’t done with his service. She slowed down as she reached her workshop, trying to catch her breath and look around to check for anyone that might be around this late in the night. Satisfied that no one was lurking about, she walked into her workshop. Hotep was not here yet but she understood that she might have come earlier than was expected so she waited patiently. Some minutes after she sat down, she heard some scuffling outside her shop and stood up to investigate. She had taken a step forward when the mat was pushed aside and Hotep stepped in. He stood just past the entrance and took in her workshop, the dimly lit wicks in the ceramic pots cast light on his face, making him look ethereal. In that moment, Jeska thought he did not belong here, in this world with them. He deserved a place among the gods. “This place is beautiful–” “You look beautiful–” They spoke at the same time and laughed when their words intertwined. For some reason, it was awkward between them. Hotep shook his head, a hesitant smile on his face. “You go first.” She nodded her head and spoke. “You look beautiful – that’s what I said. The light does things to you.” She watched, happy, as his smile widened. She could see how flustered he was, despite his darker skin. She found that she loved his skin even more now. Was there anything she did not love about him? “Thank you. This place is really beautiful, and you look absolutely stunning, Jeska.” She looked down at the gown she was wearing with the heavily jeweled statement necklace. It was one of her best outfits. She had only worn it once; for the party that was thrown to celebrate her becoming an official healer. It was special to her and she had chosen to wear it because he was special to her. “This old thing?” She decided to tease him a little bit. She would do anything to keep that smile on his face and it worked. He took a step closer to her, his smile even wider than it was before. She took the bottom of the gown in her hand and slowly danced around, swirling as she went. She stopped in front of him, slightly dizzy from all the spinning she had been doing. She could feel herself falling to the right when he grabbed her, his hands on her waist. Immediately he righted her and released his grip on her waist but stayed close, ready to catch her if she fell. She did not think it was possible to fall; his gaze was so intense, it held her hostage. “Why won’t you hold me, Hotep?” She did not even mind the words that were coming out of her mouth; in that moment she did not care. “You’re married to my brother.” Those words, she could see that it pained him to speak those words. “But you’re here, with me, when everyone is asleep. Why are you here with me?” She desperately wanted to know. “I don’t know. I just know that it hurts to be so close to you and not be with you. Maybe that’s why I came. Maybe that’s why I’m here.” He seemed sincere and she believed him. Hell, she would have believed every single thing that came out of his mouth. “You’re leaving tomorrow, and I don’t want to regret anything. I don’t want to look back and think oh, I wish I had done this with Hotep but it’s too late now because he’s gone back. I think I’d really hate myself if that happened. I want – I want my first time to be with you.” He looked ready to speak but she stopped him. She just wanted to get everything out before he said anything. It was already embarrassing as it was. “I know that you’re going to say you can’t do that but I’m ready. I also want to remind you that I’m not really married to Senenmut yet. We could still cancel the contract at any time. I haven’t moved in with him so technically, we aren’t married.” She nodded at him, telling him she was done talking. “It doesn’t matter if you don’t think you guys are really married yet. I know you guys are married and I’m not going to do that to you or my brother.” “He thinks I don’t know but he’s already done things with Hatshepsut. I don’t think it would matter because our marriage is a scam. It isn’t real and we don’t love each other in that way. I want you, Hotep. For five years, even before I understood what it meant, I knew that you were the one. Do you remember what I told you the day before you left? I told you that it was only you for me. There was no one else and there would never be anyone else for me but you. It’s okay if you don’t feel that way anymore but I still do –” She was cut off by Hotep’s lips on hers. He took his time just kissing her, trying to memorize her lips and just when she thought he was going to deepen the kiss, he pulled back. “I can’t – I will never stop feeling this way for you. I want you to know that. I just – I don’t know… it kills me thinking of you and him, Jeska. I just want to take you away from here, take you somewhere so that it’ll just be the two of us. Maybe once in a while, if we feel like it, we’ll drop in to visit our families. That’s what I want with you, but I won’t take you from my brother because of my silly fantasies. He needs you more than I do.” Even as he spoke, a tear rolled down his cheek. Jeska did not think he was aware that he was crying. She rose to her toes and kissed the side of his eye. He held onto her waist and bent a bit so that she could reach him. With a hand on his shoulder, she wiped the tears from his cheek and kissed his face, just beside his lips. “I love you, Hotep. I love you so much, my heart wants to burst. It’s so full of love for you.” She moved to his lips and kissed them, swallowing his words. She did not need to hear him confess his love for her – she already knew. As they kissed, she slowly took his hands and placed them on her shoulder, urging him to remove the straps of her dress. He took his sweet time and she enjoyed every moment. Later, when they were both sated and Hotep’s arms were around Jeska, he spoke. “I have to go back tomorrow, and mother wants me to spend the day with them. I think we’re supposed to pretend that Senenmut did not steal the love of my life.” He was tracing a pattern on Jeska’s arms and she was almost asleep, but she heard him. “Will you be able to do that?” She was worried for him. “I don’t know. I guess I’ll have to see. You know that means that – “ “I know what it means. Will you try to come? Will you come back? You don’t have to do this, Hotep.” She did not want him to go back. What if he never came back? “The military is where I belong now, Jeska.” “You belong with me.” She truly felt that he did. “You belong to my brother.” She opened her mouth to speak but she could see in his eyes that he was pleading with her not to. “I don’t want us to fight before I go. Let’s not fight. I want to leave us with a good memory; even though it may be bittersweet.” She understood what he meant so she nodded her head. The next morning there would be no trace that either of them was there the night before and Hotep would leave to complete his military service. It would be as if they had not bared themselves to each other in a way they never had to anyone before. Life would go on. CHAPTER TEN The scent of honey was strong even when Jeska walked to the central room. Senet always liked extra honey added to bread and she found that she could never refuse him when it came to things like this. It also helped that his older brothers did not mind. She watched as her first son released his hold on his papyrus and let it fall on a stool, plopping himself on the floor. “Nekht.” He turned to her, a dark eyebrow raised. “Where did your brothers go?” He looked around then, as if realizing they were not there. It shocked her sometimes; how focused he could get. “I don’t know. They were here not too long ago. Let me check the storehouse, they usually go there.” He made to stand, dusting the bottom of his wrap but she stopped him. She had warned Hortitif one too many times about taking Senet down to the storehouse, but he never listened. “Don’t bother. Just stay here and check on the bread. I’ll be back.” She turned to go and stopped, facing him. “Please help me put your brother’s things in order so that he’ll be ready when I get him.” It always took a while to get Senet ready because he made a sport out of running around the house naked, hoping for someone to catch him. She left the room but not before she saw Nekht walking in the direction of his and his brothers’ room. It was always stressful in the mornings, when she wanted to go to her workshop. Her two older boys, Nekht and Hortitif, usually went for their lessons while she took her youngest, Senet with her to the workshop. As she walked down to the storehouse, she could hear some whispering. She knew they were not doing anything dangerous because Hortitif knew he was to protect his brother and he took his duty as his brother’s keeper seriously. She slowed down as she crept down the steps that led to the storehouse. To her surprise she saw Hortitif grip Senet’s arm, trying to pull him toward the steps but the younger boy refused to budge. “If mama finds us down here, she’ll kill me, Senet.” She felt a smile tug at the side of her lips. It seemed her parenting was kicking in. “Mama won’t kill you. She brought you out of her stomach!” She put a hand over her mouth to stop the laughter that bubbled out of her even as Hortitif did the same to his brother. “Shh! We’ll go up to the house and we’ll get our things ready because mama is baking bread and you know she likes going to her workshop early.” It was true; she did like going early. “I’m not going to let you persuade me into taking you down here anymore. There’s nothing special here, Senet.” He spread his arms wide, as if he was showing to his brother the contents of the room for the first time. He put his arm around his brother’s shoulders and turned him toward the steps. “Everything here is special. Father and Uncle Hotep helped us in building it and storing some of these things and I miss them.” Her youngest insisted, a frown on his face as he tugged on his brother’s arm. Hortitif feigned pain and lightly hit the side of his brother’s head. “I can’t wait till you’re a bit older and mama starts punishing you properly.” That statement earned a slight frown from Senet. “Mama won’t punish me. She loves me.” She quickly turned and went up the steps before she could do anything to alert them of her presence. She loved it when her sons bonded and showed love to one another. It was the best part of being their mother; getting to see the love they shared. She was already at the top of the steps when she heard Hortitif correct his brother. “Mama will punish you because she loves you. Trust me, I’m older and I know what I’m saying.” She walked into the kitchen and saw Nekht hunched over a short table, placing three loaves of bread on a tray. She walked to the shelf attached to the top part of the wall and took a knife. It had been her idea to build the shelf higher than normal so that her boys would not get hurt playing with the knives that she kept there. She walked to the table and started cutting the bread into partitions. “Thank you.” She kissed his temple. She could always count on Nekht to assist her whenever she needed help. “No problem. It’s the least I can do, mama.” He walked to the shelf and got a knife then walked back to her. She still remembered when she was taller than him. It seemed like he just grew all of a sudden; he dwarfed her now. He started slicing the third bread while she focused on the other two. “When is Uncle Hotep visiting?” It still pained Jeska that her sons stopped asking about their father long ago – at least her two older sons did. Nekht seemed to dislike his father even more every day and she did all that she could to show him that his father was not a bad person; he was just a good man who had made some bad decisions. Besides, she had been friends with Senenmut when they were younger. She knew he was a good person and she still loved him. Nekht and Hortitif sometimes liked to pretend he did not exist, but they had always liked Hotep. “You know Hotep is a General. He doesn’t have the time to visit whenever he wants. He has things to do.” She did not like talking about him with her children; especially Nekht. Sometimes she felt he could see right through her and figure out all her secrets – all the ones that had to do with Hotep. She knew that Nekht would not judge her because he was mature beyond his years, but she did not want to risk it. They both turned at the same time when they heard movement at the entrance to the kitchen. Hortitif had his papyrus under one arm and his other hand was on Senet’s shoulders. “Look who I found. His things are in the central room. Nekht and I can handle the rest, mama. You and Senet can go to your workshop. We’ll pack your food for you, and it won’t even take time.” She looked at Nekht for confirmation and when he nodded, she could not help the sigh that escaped her lips. The gods had really blessed her when they gave her children. She dropped the knife on the table and hugged Nekht. “Thank you for being a great role model for your brothers.” She pulled away from him and turned to her younger sons. “I don’t know what I’ll do without you guys. You make everything so easy for me.” With that she left the kitchen for her room where she packed her bag of herbs and medicine, alongside her grandmother’s old papyri of incantations. She had barely left her room when Hortitif walked up to her, a small bag in his hand and Senet behind him. She could see the shape of a flask and she assumed it contained wine. Thank the gods for wine! “Here is your food, mama. This will be enough for you and Senet.” He handed the bag to Senet. “Behave, okay? I don’t want to hear that you got into trouble or that you stressed mother.” He ruffled his brother’s hair and smiled at Jeska. “He’ll behave.” When she walked past Hortitif on her way to the entrance of the house, she pulled him to her side and hugged him. Her workshop had not changed much in the past few years. She had made it bigger, but the major change was the presence of the boy seated at a stool in front of her worktable. Jeska had been taking Senet to work with her since he was old enough to walk or understand what it was that she did. Sometimes he reminded her of her younger self; her father always agreed with her whenever she said that. It only made sense that he went to work with her because he could not stay alone at home and he was too young to start lessons. Her mother always tried to persuade her to leave him with them, but she always refused because she did not want to be a burden to them. It had not been easy when Senenmut left to carry out Hatshepsut’s many projects. She still remembered the day he told her about it. He had kept on insisting that he could not deny Pharaoh’s wife. “For the sake of the gods, Jeska,” he had exclaimed, “she is Pharaoh’s wife – the Great Royal Wife.” To be honest, Jeska did not care whether Hatshepsut was Pharaoh’s mother or his wife. All she knew was that he could not leave her to fend for their children by herself while he gallivanted around, doing the Queen’s bidding and she told him exactly that. “Don’t give me that line, Senenmut. We both know that Hatshepsut would never do anything to harm you so why don’t you grow some guts and tell me the real reason you’re taking this project. We have children now, Senenmut. You can’t just run off whenever you please and come back the same way! Surely you don’t think that’s how parenting is done?!” Senenmut had made to walk away and she had followed him through the house. Hotep had volunteered to take the boys to the market stalls for sweets while they talked, sparing them their parents’ colorful conversation. “You cannot treat your sons like this, Senenmut. They need their father. Just because we’re friends doesn’t mean I won’t speak up for my children!” He had turned to her then, frustration in every single taut line of his body. “What am I supposed to do, Jeska? I love my sons, but I love this woman. This project is going to get us money and bring me closer to the woman I love.” If their relationship had been a conventional one, Jeska would have felt insulted by his statement - but in some twisted way she understood him, and it made her angry that she did. “Your sons need you, Senenmut.” She was ashamed of how weak her voice sounded. Anger made her weak. “I’ll come home regularly but if I can’t, I’ll send messengers.” She did not even have the energy to protest. Sometimes she wished she could be as selfish as Senenmut had been and still was. He had kept to his promise, sending messengers every new moon but it was not the same to her sons and she could see that it affected them. The only father figure they had in their lives was Hotep, and Jeska could not even begin to think about how inappropriate that was. Inappropriate as it was, Jeska found that she could not stay away from Hotep just as much as he could not refuse her. There were times when she sent the boys to stay with mother and father under the assumption that she was making a short visit to Senenmut’s apartment in the palace. She quickly learned just how much power Hotep, who happened to be a well-respected General, had. He had enough power to conceal their secret rendezvous and keep their affair safe from prying eyes. “Mama, can I go to the market stalls? I’m bored and tired of sitting here.” Senet’s words jolted her from her thoughts. She had not heard him, so she gave him a blank look. He sighed and spoke again. “I asked if I could go to the market stalls. I’m tired of sitting here doing nothing.” He was right; business was slow and all they were doing was sitting around. She needed some fresh air. “Let’s go. We can go together. We both need a break; don’t you think?” He nodded enthusiastically to her words, already standing up to get their bag of food. She had barely stood up from the chair attached to her worktable when a man stepped into her workshop. Jeska could tell from his clothing that he was a messenger from the palace. She could only wonder what was so urgent that Senenmut could not wait till the new moon to give her. “My husband sent you?” She assumed he knew Senenmut’s name. “I know your husband.” She noted that he did not answer her question, but she let him continue. “I think it will be better for us to speak with a little privacy.” He nudged his head in Senet’s direction and she knew that something had happened. Senenmut never told their children to leave the room when the messenger delivered his message. The messages were more for them than they were for her. “Senet, wait for me inside, okay? Gather our things. We might leave the workshop early today.” She knew he was suspicious, but he shrugged his shoulders and left the main room. It was only when she was sure that he was gone that she turned to the messenger. “What happened to him?” He had not even spoken but she feared the worst. CHAPTER ELEVEN The walk had been going on for a while now and Jeska felt numb everywhere. She trudged behind the sled, trying her best to ignore the cries of Senenmut’s mother. It was hard and almost impossible to do so she suffered through it. She watched as the priest at the head of the procession burned incense and poured milk before Senenmut’s body. She knew of the process because father had told her about it but she had never expected to witness it firsthand. It was still hard for her to believe that what was happening was real; it was not just her imagination. She slid her right arm to the side, silently looking for that strong hand to encase hers in his. She was not disappointed. Hotep squeezed her hand and held on. She could not even begin to imagine what he was feeling. It felt like her entire world had turned upside down and she was just his friend and wife; Hotep was his brother. Hotep loved him beyond reason. She squeezed his hand lightly, telling him we’ll get through this. I can give you my strength if you don’t have any. I’ll give you anything. She glanced to her left to be sure her sons were still with her. It scared her how emotionless Nekht was being. Right from the moment she told him about Senenmut’s death he had not even shown any sign of grief; he had simply nodded and left the room. She understood that he was not Senenmut’s biggest fan, but he was still his son. Finally, they arrived at the tomb where the priest would perform the last rites on Senenmut, and it was then that it felt all too real; when his body was taken up by servants and placed in the coffin made to fit his large frame. The Opening of the Mouth ceremony had started, and she was the one that had been chosen to burn incense. She waited while the priest, wearing a jackal mask to impersonate Anubis, put the coffin in standing position, facing south. When he had put garlands of flowers around the neck of the coffin, she reluctantly let go of Hotep’s hand and stepped forward. She took the incense from the priest and burnt it, walking around the tomb. Her movement caused the women to wail even louder. Jeska did not think it was possible for that to happen, but it did. Another priest came from the crowd and started chanting potent spells, but the tomb was so full of chaos that she could barely hear him. She knew what came next and she did not want to witness it, so she subtly turned her head away from the coffin, even as she walked around the tomb, the incense still burning. She was not watching but she knew the priests were sacrificing the food and drink that were brought by the mourners. She knew that the freshly cut calf leg would still be spurting blood on the altar. No, she did not want to see that. She did not care if it made her a coward. Finally, she stopped at a respectable distance from the coffin, incense in her hand. The priest touched the mouth, eyes, ears and nose of the coffin with an adze. Jeska remembered her father telling her that it was done in order to awaken the senses of the dead person and ensure they could accept food sacrifices so that they could enjoy the afterlife. Jeska desperately hoped that Senenmut lived fully in the afterlife. She wanted him to be happy there. As she stood, she felt the threat of tears behind her eyelids and she closed her eyes tight, trying to blink them away. Senenmut was truly dead. He was the father of her children and he just left them, not even thinking of how it was going to affect his sons. When the rituals were over, the coffin was placed in a sarcophagus and sealed in the tomb. Jeska would never forget the sound of the sarcophagus sealing shut - its’ last sound shaking her soul - finalizing his death. It had been some days since Senenmut was sealed in his tomb and Jeska was still reeling from it. She had to plan a feast to celebrate his journey into the glorious afterlife. It had been the worst part of the death ritual because the last thing she wanted to do was entertain guests in her home after the death of her husband and friend. Even though everyone that had been close to Senenmut had been, present during his last rites, they were still required by tradition to go to the feast that was to be held in his honor. It was no secret that Senenmut had been murdered and it hurt even more, not knowing the murderer. Life at home was back to normal – or as normal as could be when the boys knew that their father had been murdered – but Hotep remained with them for a while. It hurt to look at Hotep because whenever she did, she saw the pain coming from him and was reminded of Senenmut’s death all over again. They were all seated in the central room when Jeska received news that would break her heart even further. The only person that was absent was Nekht; he had been missing from them ever since Senenmut’s burial, so they were beyond surprised when they saw him at the entrance to the central room. Hotep immediately stood up when he came in, motioning for him to use the stool he just stood up from but Nekht simply shook his head. It was Jeska’s turn to stand up when she saw the man that walked into the room. “Who is this, Nekht?” She asked her son, willing the man to disappear before her eyes and never come back but her wish did not come to fruition. She knew who – and what – this man represented but she was not ready for this. She had barely had anytime to grieve. Her sons were too young for what the man came for. “Jeska.” She turned to the owner of the voice and registered the face. That face – she loved the owner of the face; he made sense to her. “Hotep –” she attempted to speak but stopped, suddenly finding herself unable to speak without weeping. They could not take her boys away. “Jeska, we’ll figure this out. I promise.” He sounded so unsure that a tear dropped from her eye. If Hotep was unsure in this situation, then what hope did she have? She slowly sank to the ground, her head in her hands. Nekht and Hortitif were smart boys; they would have figured it out the moment they saw the man. She barely even heard the military man pronouncing the official drafting of Nekht and Hortitif, for a minimum period of five years into the military. Jeska found that she was still numb when she felt small, warm arms wrap around her, hugging her. She wrapped her arms around Senet in return, pulling him impossibly closer to her. “We’ll be okay, mama. Please stop crying, you’ll make me cry too.” And true to his words, when Jeska could not stop the tears from flowing, even after the man had handed over the papyrus containing the drafting of her two older sons into the military to Hotep, Senet cried with his mother. CHAPTER TWELVE Jeska would remember that day all her life and even beyond; into the afterlife, when she had been judged by the gods. Two new moons had passed since Hortitif and Nekht were drafted into the military and she had only had about two weeks with them before they had to go. She had spent every single day trying to maximize her time with them, but it still was not enough. She closed early from work just so that she and Senet could have more time with them. The day they went to start their training was the worst day of her life. She had to watch Hotep leave with her older sons and it hurt because she knew there was always the possibility of them not coming back alive. She did not think she could bare to lose them the way she lost Senenmut – it would destroy her. She had just finished with her patient when Hotep stepped into her workshop. He was not supposed to be there; he was supposed to be with the military. That was probably the first sign that alerted her to the fact that something was wrong. Senet was not in the workshop with her – he was playing with some friends – so they would have some privacy. “What happened to my sons? Are they alright, Hotep?” She was anxious; Nekht and Hortitif had not even been gone for two new moons and there was bad news. “Jeska…” His expression told her everything his words refused to. She walked to him and gripped the sleeve of his robe, pulling him down to her eye-level. “What happened to my sons, Hotep? Are they dead?!” She heard her voice waver. This woman; this weak woman was her. Her children made her this woman. “Th-they–” his voice broke and he cleared his throat, refusing to look into her eyes. She shook him, forcing him to move closer to her. “Tell me what happened!” Her patience was wearing thin, her fragile heart beating in her chest. She was scared of his next words but desperately needed to hear them. “I’m sorry that I couldn’t save him – he was like a son to me.” His words were muttered, his eyes downcast. She stepped back from him. “Which of them?” When he did not answer she scrubbed a hand down her face and wished for the energy to raise her voice. “Which of my sons, Hotep?” She was scared of his answer. She could not even choose which she wanted. “Nekht – it was Nekht.” She ignored the sob that came out of his throat in the form of her first son’s name. She ignored the way his voice broke, completely shattering her soul. She ignored his hands running and running and running through his hair, as if he was trying to push his tears back into his head; it was as if he was trying to stop them from falling. But his efforts were wasted; it was not working. Jeska had to commend him. She could barely feel a thing. She did not even acknowledge the silent tears running down her cheeks, completely unchallenged in their path down her face; they were not even obstructed by a hand or two trying to stop the tears from falling. Jeska was chaos. Hotep could not even look at Jeska. He could not even look into her eyes and beg her to forgive him; he had failed her once again. She was in shock – he could see that much. He put his head in his hands and discreetly wiped away the tears on his face. If experience had taught him anything it was that people in shock were vulnerable and unpredictable and were to be treated with care, so he stepped forward with that in mind. Jeska did not even spare him a glance till he was directly in front of her, his hands raised to hold her shoulder. It was then that she looked up at him with venom in her eyes. He would be a liar if he claimed that she did not scare him like this; completely unhinged from him and the rest of the world. This Jeska terrified him. “You were supposed to protect him.” Her words shook him to the core, but they resonated with such truth that he could not even speak. “You were supposed to protect my son, Hotep.” She spat his name out with such hatred that sent chills down his body even in the scorching heat. “I’m sorry, Jeska.” His words seemed to break her because she raised her fists and started hitting him. Her punches were not soft or light; these ones were intended to hurt him, and they did. She wanted him to feel even a quarter of the pain she was feeling but he knew it could not compare; it never would. “You were supposed to protect Nekht. He trusted you – I trusted you.” She put her hand over her mouth as the sobs came in full force and released her grip on his robe. He watched, helpless, as she walked backwards and sank to the floor, sitting against the wall. “He was barely fourteen, Hotep. He didn’t deserve this. He was a good boy; he was my son.” She did not deserve this. He did not deserve her or her trust. “He was transferred.” He spoke because she would want to know what killed her son. No matter how bad it got, Jeska was always better knowing. And so, he told her. “Nekht – he wasn’t strong enough to go to battle, so he was taken to work on a project.” He paused, waiting for her to question him but she remained quiet. His reluctance to get the remainder of the story out was obvious but she was not bailing him out; he knew that much. “It was the same project that Senenmut worked on before he died.” He paused again, waiting for her to stop him if she wished. She did not stop him. “That means Nekht was killed working on the same project that Senenmut got killed working on.” With the words out there, Hotep waited. Finally, Jeska looked up at him and stood up, dusting the back of her gown. “You let my son work on the same project his father got killed working on?” Accusation tainted her tone, so he hurried to correct her. “I had no idea he had been sent there. All I was told by the man that I assigned to closely look after him, was that he had been taken to a safe project. I would not have vetted the move if I had known. I can’t bear to lose him the way I lost my brother, you have to believe me, Jeska.” Looking into her eyes, he saw that she believed him, but he also saw anger there. It was not directed at him but at herself, for letting her son go. Hotep knew as well as she did that there was nothing she could have done to stop her sons from going for military service. It was an obligation to Pharaoh and the gods. It was for Egypt. But he also knew that she would beat herself up over it. “I believe you.” In her voice was determination; her eyes were daring. Truly, Jeska was a labyrinth; there were so many complex parts of her. Chac had never, in all his years, met a woman like the one seated in front of him. This woman was not dressed in an extravagant way, although he knew she had and came from considerable wealth. Her linen gown was the slightest bit transparent but modest enough to cover what needed covering. He knew she did not dress in that manner to seduce him; he was the one looking for a favor or two. Besides, he knew she had someone. If those things had not set her more apart from every other woman he had met, then her confidence and determination certainly did. This was a woman that had agreed to this meeting with a goal in mind and she was not going to reveal it until she was ready. This was a dangerous woman. “I’m glad that you agreed to give me audience, healer.” He spoke after a long and awkward silence. He had expected her to fill the silence with meaningless chatter as most people did but she did not; she just watched him, waiting for him to say his piece. During what had to qualify as the most awkward silence he had ever experienced, he found himself drawn in by her iridescent eyes which seemingly changed color like the chameleon. Chac felt his breath catch in his throat as he breathed in to speak. Surely, she knew her effect on people. “I am Chac, first in line to the throne of Catalonia but I was kidnapped by my brother who is second in line to the throne and exiled to Egypt.” Chac paused then, expecting her to comment but she just looked at him, waiting for him to continue. She did not even look surprised by the idea of a Latin prince speaking the language of her people – medu neter – so he continued. “I am sorry for your losses, but I believe your husband and son were killed by the same person.” He finally got a response from her then. Her formerly stoic expression gave way to a pained one and it twisted something within him. He knew what it was to lose someone you loved, and she had lost two. “What have you come for?” Her voice was not even close to what he had expected; it was a hundred times better. Her voice had this pleasant rumble that reminded him of the storm before the heavens opened up to empty their contents on the land. Chac had to convince himself that she was not one of the gods; the gods would not waste their time among mortals just to suffer her fate. “I need your help to get a safe passage to my homeland. Everyone I love is there and my brother has just about run my kingdom into the ground. I need to get my kingdom back.” It was true. He tried his best not to think of his brother or even call his name in anger but sometimes it did not work. “I’m a healer, Prince, not a usurper or an aid to a usurper. Do I seem like a revolutionary, Prince Chac?” He loved the way his name rolled off her tongue, like a rug of the highest quality unfurling for a royal to walk on. It was beauty. “I’m aware of your profession, healer.” Only a man that had been living under a rock all his life would not know of her or her profession. She was Jeska, the granddaughter of Peseshet who was the first official female healer in the land of Egypt and she was a healer in her own right. She was an impressive woman. It was because of her position as an influential member of society, as healer, that he chose her to aid him. Of course, her friendship with the Pharaoh and his Great Royal Wife, Hatshepsut, helped. “And I appreciate your humor but all you have to do is state your payment and it will be yours, in exchange for my safe passage to my kingdom.” Chac had thought about the numerous possibilities included in the payment but he never thought of her next words. “Take my son with you.” No, he had not expected those words. She continued, seemingly oblivious to his shock. It crossed his mind that she could be choosing to ignore it. He could never know with this woman. “That is the only payment I ask for. Take my son with you and treat him well. I will get him back in a few years when he’s older and there is a lesser risk of him getting conscripted into the military or dying while fulfilling an obligation to Pharaoh – like his father or brother.” She added the last part as an afterthought. Chac knew it was pointless to try to argue with her on this front so he acquiesced, ignoring the danger he faced, the problems he could get into by smuggling a son of Egypt across borders to avoid conscription into the military. He knew this was the only payment she desired so he agreed, and not because of the urgency to return to his kingdom to claim his throne. Not even because he knew it was a waste of time doing anything other than agreeing. No, all that was in the background. Chac agreed because this woman – this incredibly brave woman – had wormed her way in. This woman held him in the palm of her hand, and she was unaware – or maybe she was. He would never know. CHAPTER THIRTEEN What do you mean he volunteered for an assignment?” Jeska’s question was as ceremonial as it could get. She understood fully well what Hotep meant by his words. Honestly, she wished she could pin it all on him, but he had courage. She knew that it took courage to tell her to her face that her son had died but she still wished she could blame him. This was the second death he would tell her of and each time a piece of her soul shattered. She knew that it was hard for him too; telling her about the deaths of his nephews but he had to do it. They both had to suffer while he told her the details of their death. “Hortitif volunteered for an assignment without my approval and he got killed by a Hyksos.” A Hyksos. What if they were the ones that killed Senenmut and Nekht? Did they want to kill her entire family? Jeska gripped her hair and pulled, trying to take away her memories. Maybe if she did that she would forget everyone she had lost; Senenmut, Nekht and now, Hortitif. She might as well have lost Senet now that he was in a place she had never been to, with a complete stranger. What were you thinking, Jeska? You gave your last child to a complete stranger. She felt tears prick her eyelids, her eyes shut tight as she tried to center herself. It did not work; shutting her eyes only brought to mind her children’s faces. She brought her hands to her face, but she did not even know what her fingers wanted to do. It was not until she felt strong hands capture hers that she realized what she would have done. Her fingers would have scratched her face out until nothing was left. Hotep dropped their hands, hers still firmly in his grasp, by her side. He did not even bother to clean her face of tears; he just held her hands. He held her until exhaustion took over, until she had to lean against him for support. It was not until she tapped out that he carried her to her bedroom. He assisted her to get onto her bed and dragged a stool over. She watched through heavy eyelids as he sat down and leaned his back against the wall, watching her watch him. “Sleep, Jeska.” She did not need to be told twice. The next time she tried to open her eyes she was dreaming. Jeska knew it was a dream the moment she saw Isis in all her glory. The goddess was dressed as she was always described to be: her headdress was an empty throne and her gown was simple and beautiful but she was even more beautiful in person. It did not matter that her back was to Jeska. Immediately the goddess turned to her, Jeska bowed her head, reverence all over her features. She could not even begin to think of what an honor it was that she was in the presence of Isis. “You may look at me.” The voice was the most beautiful sound Jeska had ever heard. “Do not fear, Jeska. I would not give you leave to look at me if I had not assumed a lesser form. As you know, my original form would either kill you or render you blind and I don’t want or need you dead right now. We still have use for you.” Jeska simply nodded her head in understanding, not even daring to speak. “Everything that has happened to you and those around you, every single tragedy, is for a reason. I want you to know that more tragedies will come but they are all catalysts for important things that are yet to happen. This could mean that you will lose more people that you love but it is all a part of a greater plan. It pained Jeska that she could not question this. She could not even ask what all this was leading to because she knew there would be repercussions. She was not a priestess or anything like that; she was a healer. “Do not keep this in your heart, Jeska. Know that you will not lose those that you hold very dear to you. You know of whom I speak…” Jeska came to with a violent heave. She found that her cheeks were stained with dried tears and Hotep was leaning over her, the crease between his eyebrows showing how worried he was. The stool he formerly occupied was now empty. Jeska did not know how long he had been trying to wake her up but she must have been crying loudly enough for him to wake up. “You’re okay now.” She shook her head in response to his statement. She was not okay; she was far from it. More people were going to die and thanks to the cryptic words of Isis, she did not even know who they were. “I saw her, Hotep. Isis – I saw Isis.” If there was one thing she loved about Hotep it was the impossible, unshakable belief he had in her; he believed in her so much that she could even convince him she was Isis. Where some people would have looked at her and dismissed her, thinking she was delusional, he did not even blink an eye. It was when he opened his mouth to ask her what happened in her dream that she sealed his words and stole his breath with her lips. She took her sweet time kissing him, memorizing his lips. For her it was not just about forgetting everyone and everything she had lost, it was also about learning who he was again – who they were again. It was about remembering him – them; every little detail about him. Remembering Hotep and Jeska - love. She would do that tonight. Hotep slowly moved away from Jeska, careful not to wake her. When he was a safe distance from the bed, he stopped to take her in: she was a vision. He did not know the next time they would have this, so he enjoyed the view while it lasted. His eyes skimmed over her moon lit body - highlighting her golden bronzed smooth skin, the curves and muscles in all the right places. Her perfect pout that awakened his sensual senses once more. He glanced one last time at her breasts before he leaned in and kissed her cheek, covering her body with the only cloth she had that was long enough to do the trick. As he walked to the door of her house, he remembered the boys that had once been here with their mother, the love of his life. The guilt that weighed heavily on his heart as he thought of what he had done with their mother not too long ago, not even up to a day after they found out about Hortitif’s death. He wanted to wait till daybreak to sneak out but Jeska had insisted that he left before then, so he was sneaking out of her house like a boy, hours before the first cockcrow. Pathetic. As he neared the entrance to Jeska’s house he heard some movement outside which stopped him short in his tracks. He had to tread carefully when he took care of the troublemakers; he wanted to avoid waking Jeska at all costs until she had had a proper rest. He did not need any weapon because his fists were good enough, so he stealthily slunk out of the entrance, holding the reed mat behind him so that it did not make any unnecessary sound. The two men had not even noticed him when he stepped out, so he took his time sizing them up. The moment he took a step forward, they turned to him, finally noticing him. “Hotep.” It was a statement. The man was sure he was the one; it seemed as if he just wanted to test his name. The other one stepped forward, his hands exaggeratedly away from his weapons by his waist. Hotep was suddenly driven by an overwhelming need to scoff. He could see that these men were from the palace and he could not help but wonder what made Hatshepsut keep such late hours for summoning people. “This is where a woman – Jeska – lives?” The second statement was posed as a question and a fact, as if they were not sure of the answer. Hotep graced them with a nod; he always did his best to make people’s job easier. “The Queen Hatshepsut requires both your presence in the palace.” The guard’s words confirmed his thoughts – Hatshepsut always was different. CHAPTER FOURTEEN Jeska did not need to speak for Hotep to know that she was fuming. It was in her stance; the way she stood rigidly straight, her fists by her side. He could feel the glare she was throwing at Hatshepsut and the tension in the room was skyrocketing faster than the sun parched the ground. It had to be the most awkward situation he had ever had the displeasure to be involved in. “I don’t understand why you couldn’t wait till morning, when people are actually expected to be awake, to summon us.” Jeska was definitely pissed. Hotep believed she had every right to be. “What we have to discuss simply cannot wait till morning, Jeska.” Hatshepsut looked at home in her chair while they both stood. Of course, she was comfortable – the palace had been her home since she was given birth to. “My son died, Hatshepsut. I haven’t even had time to mourn him and you summon me in the middle of the night to talk to me about whatever it is that you think is important! Do you have a single bone of sympathy in your body?” Jeska was breathing hard after her outburst, her eyes wide as she stared at Hatshepsut. The other woman simply stared back at her before slowly rising to her feet. Hotep had known Hatshepsut for some time and he liked to think that he knew her – even if only a little. Hatshepsut had not known about Hortitif’s death. In the brief second after Jeska revealed Hortitif’s death, he noticed surprise in Hatshepsut’s eyes. Her surprise was immediately replaced by a blank expression. It was then that Hotep knew that the Great Royal Wife, his childhood friend, did not like the idea of people being aware of her ignorance of a situation. He simply hoped that she showed her true self to Jeska. Hotep watched as Hatshepsut walked to them and stopped in front of Jeska. He subtly moved closer to her in case he had underestimated the danger associated with Hatshepsut – but nothing dangerous happened. Hatshepsut put her hand on Jeska’s shoulders and pulled her closer, wrapping her in a hug. He saw her whisper something to Jeska, but he could not read her lips. It was only a few heartbeats later that he realized the words were soothing because Jeska immediately leaned against Hatshepsut and started crying. It broke his heart to see her like that, all torn up from grief but what broke him more was being unable to do anything about it. He had not even made headway in the search for Senenmut’s murderer and he did not want to tell her about it until he had something substantial. So, he stood by her, totally useless to her. He had never felt like more of a burden in his life than he did in this moment. “So, my suspicions were true.” In some way, Jeska felt glad that she knew something about Senenmut and Nekht’s killer. It helped her center her anger and know how to move from what had happened. On the other hand, it just made her miserable knowing. So, what if a Hyksos had killed her son and husband? They did not know anything about who did it. They did not even know if it was a man or a woman. It felt like now that she had gotten this small detail about the murderer, it was impossible to catch the person. It was difficult to explain her thoughts and feelings to Hotep or Hatshepsut, but she knew that they understood her feelings, even if it was in their own way. “My sources told me about it earlier today and I called for you both as soon as I could, that’s why the hour is so late.” Jeska did not understand her relationship with Hatshepsut. At times they seemed as close as they were when they were children, other times they were at each other’s throats. It seemed as if they did not have a middle ground and that made their relationship even more dangerous and unhealthy. “Do you have any other leads?” Hotep seemed, out of the three of them, to be stressed the most. Jeska guessed that he had encountered Hyksos people while serving in the military. The toll of realizing that his brother’s killer was not far from them must have hit him. “None yet.” Hatshepsut appeared ready to speak but she was interrupted by the sound of light footsteps coming from her inner chambers. Jeska and Hotep glanced at each other, similar thoughts in their minds. Everyone knew that Thutmose and Hatshepsut did not stay in the others’ chambers. People claimed Pharaoh was always busy with his other wives but they both knew the real reason – Thutmose still felt guilty for keeping Hatshepsut and Senenmut from being together properly. Jeska could not even begin to imagine how hard it must have been for him when he found out about Senenmut’s death. The footsteps picked up pace when the person was close to Hatshepsut’s audience room. The small feet of a child appeared first before the girl’s body followed. She glanced around the room, still standing by the entrance, her eyes wide in confusion. The girl was truly beautiful, taking in part the beauty of Hatshepsut, her mother. “Mama–” The girl was cut off by her mother. “You should be asleep, Ah-Hotep. I have visitors.” Jeska was shocked by how soft and kind Hatshepsut’s voice had become. She looked at Hotep to see what he thought of it, but his eyes were glued to the girl, surprise and mild disbelief on his features. Jeska noticed something then; she saw Hotep’s features in the girl. She looked back at the girl again, immediately understanding what it meant. She did not even feel angry or shocked – she had expected this in some way. She had known from the beginning that Senenmut would leave his mark with Hatshepsut, but she had not thought this far. “I can’t sleep, mama. Can I join you – in your bedroom?” She became a striking image of Senenmut once Jeska realized he was her father. It appeared that Hatshepsut did not care about them connecting the dots. Or she believed them to be completely blind. “Of course, you can join me. I’ll be with you soon, okay? I just have to speak with these people first. They’re my friends.” The girl turned to them shyly, waving at them. “You know my uncle Senenmut?” They both nodded in answer to her question. “He died. I wish he was still here. He was my friend.” She turned to her mother then. “I’m going now, mother. You’ll join me soon, right?” Hatshepsut nodded in answer and the girl turned to them again to smile one last time before she bounced away. There was a short bout of silence before Hatshepsut spoke. “Now–” Hotep cut her off before she could continue. “You’re just going to ignore that?” His fingers were pointed in the direction that Hatshepsut’s daughter went in. “I can’t ignore the fact that there is a child in this palace walking around with my brother’s face – which also happens to look like my face.” “I’m not ignoring that; you’ve seen her and that’s enough.” “You had a baby for my husband.” Jeska could not believe the way Hatshepsut just dismissed the issue. “Don’t try to lecture me, either of you!” Hatshepsut paused, looking at the both of them. “My daughter is my daughter and she is – was – also Senenmut’s. I am not ashamed of it or her. What I need is your help. I don’t want any attention drawn to me or my daughter, especially seeing how much she looks like her father. I will turn a blind eye to your affair if you help me avenge Senenmut. I would have done it myself, but I don’t need anyone linking it to me and focusing on me or my daughter.” Jeska felt the scoff coming up her throat before she even released it. No matter how many years had passed, Hatshepsut still managed to amuse her. “You will turn a blind eye to our affair? Our affair does not affect you in anyway, Hatshepsut. Your power plays are nothing to us – you should know that by now. We are going to avenge Senenmut because he meant something to us; not because you attempted to blackmail us.” “How do you attempt to go about it? What do we need to do?” A glance at Hotep showed his readiness to avenge his brother. It was to the point that he completely ignored Hatshepsut’s last few words. Jeska wished she could do that, but it was impossible – she was already on the edge. Any small push would have her falling. Oh, how she would fall. She would never look back. Hatshepsut was used to working through awkward situations, but she didn’t think she would ever feel so awkward in the presence of her friends. She admitted to herself that she played a part in creating the awkward situation, but she was a queen and queens do not apologize for what they cannot change. The voice in her mind that whispered that to her was the same one that often told her that “queens do not ask, they take.” It was the voice of her dark side, the part of her that indulged in every dark impulse it had. If Jeska had a problem with her, she would speak up; she had never known Jeska to be shy about expressing herself, even to her. Jeska’s irreverence of royalty as a child had followed her well into her adulthood, and from the stubborn tilt to her chin, she suspected that she would soon hear all about the woman’s disapproval of her affair with her husband. She cleared her throat to distract the two from their dark thoughts, Hotep from his thoughts of revenge and Jeska, from her thoughts of anger. “There will be time to reflect on your anger later, but now, there’s work to be done.” With that, she reached behind the chair she was sitting on, plucked out a few rolls of papyri and unrolled one of them; it was a detailed map, the likes of which Jeska had never seen before. She leaned in to get a closer look at it, Hotep studied it, but his time in the army meant that he was no stranger to maps such as that one. She pointed to a spot on the map; it was circled with dark ink. “This is where the Hyksos are concentrated; it is a camp of some sort. They are in Memphis, our land and still, they kill our people. We need to drive them out!” Hatshepsut’s hands balled into the shape of a fist as she spoke, she was trembling with rage. Hotep nodded absentmindedly at her words as he studied the map, he was already putting together a battle strategy in his mind. “Pay attention to me General! There will be time to examine the map later; I have a rough plan in mind for dealing with the Hyksos, I’m not an army man but I know that with your help, we can launch a successful assault on these interlopers and drive them off our land. But I need you two to be of the same mind on this, so I am going to rock my daughter to sleep, that should give you two enough time to talk it over.” With that the queen turned to leave the room. Jeska watched her go with thinly veiled anger, but rather than speak to her, she waited for her to leave before speaking. She sat on a chair beside Hotep who was ignoring her in favor of studying the map, he peered at the map as if it held hidden secrets that only he could unlock. After a few minutes, she gave up on waiting for him to break the silence and decided to break it herself. “Why do you think she did not tell me?” She said suddenly as she watched him study the map, to her surprise, he didn’t look up from the map. “Tell you what?” Hotep said, still focused on the map, Jeska was a bit irritated about the amount of attention he was giving the map. To have to compete with a roll of papyrus for a man’s attention, she wondered when it had come to that. It was a fairly ridiculous situation that she had found herself in, and still, she was annoyed that Hotep wasn’t as angry as she was about what they had just saw. “I married a man. He didn’t love me, at least not in the way that a man loves a woman. Yet, I’m upset his daughter is a princess and lives in the lap of luxury. My boys didn’t know they had a sister and they hated their father. I defended him to them because he was a good man. He was a good man who made foolish decisions, thinking with his heart rather than his mind. But he was a good man nonetheless. I had to take care of our sons by myself while he played house with the Great Royal Wife.” She got even angrier at herself as she realized how stupid she was to marry Senenmut; the extent of how much he had taken advantage of her had begun to dawn on her. She felt a bit dizzy with shock at the realization that he never cared for her or their sons, that he only married her out of spite. “I should have waited for you. Everything would have been different if I had just waited and believed in you.” She said finally as she leaned forward and placed her head in her hands, taking in a shaky breath at the dark turn her thoughts had taken, This time, Hotep finally turned to her, taking his attention from the map and fixing his intense gaze on her. “What do you want me to say, Jeska? That you should have waited for me? Do you want me to say that you should have trusted me like I would have trusted you had the tables been turned? Because you already know how I feel about that.” He accompanied his words with a shrug. “None of that matters anymore, Jeska. I admit it took some time for me to forgive you and my brother but I have forgiven you both. He’s not here anymore. It’s just us, and I think you should put those regrets behind you. Remember that you are not completely blameless in this.” Having said his piece, he returned his attention to the map. His words shocked her, she had expected him to be on her side, because that was the way things always were between them; he was always on her side. She slowly rose to her feet, unsure of what to say to him, he remained seated but watched her carefully. He didn’t know what her reaction to his words would be but he didn’t want to be caught unawares. Instead of speaking to him immediately, she paced back and forth for a while, lost in thought, through all this, Hotep kept watching her warily. “If this anger I’m feeling is so wrong, what do you suggest? Since you are the expert on all things relating to emotions now.” Finally she spoke, with a deceptively calm tone that reminded him of a coiled snaked waiting to strike. He didn’t need to know her to know that her words were a cleverly laid trap, he sighed softly before answering. He was a soldier, and he didn’t have time to play games with cleverly laid words, he was used to speaking plainly, so that was what he did. “It’s not like we stopped seeing each other, Jeska. You’re angry because you allowed him to see her but I’m not casting stones. He was my brother and we both did wrong to each other. You’re no different; you’ve done wrong as well. What I want to do right now is find the person that killed my brother and nephew.” Jeska stood still with her eyes fixed on Hotep, he had spoken calmly but still the way he looked at her left no room for doubt, he believed wholeheartedly. She hated the fact that she knew he was right, and that she couldn’t even contest what he was saying. Every single one of her group of friends had made dreadful mistakes, even her. No one was as perfect as the gods, not even Hotep with his rock solid principles. They were only human and they were bound to make mistakes, she could hold onto the grudge she had for a man who was already dead or she could leave all of that behind her as she worked to make sure she had a stable and happy future. Before she could say anything to Hotep in reply, Hatshepsut walked in, effectively putting an end to whatever moment they were about to have. “Have you come up with a plan?” Hatshepsut said as she strutted over to occupy her former seat and observed them, looking intently at Jeska who was still standing. Even through her exhaustion and dread of Jeska’s anger, she managed to keep looking as poised and regal as possible. She glanced from Jeska to Hotep who was, all of a sudden, looking at the map with more interest. There was something strange going on between them, she mused, in a different time, she would have teased her about it, but she had lost that right a long time ago. “Won’t you sit, Jeska?” She said, if she could not be her friend anymore, she could still be her queen. In response, Jeska tilted her head as she looked at the chair she was offered as if it was a nest of vipers. “No thank you, I would prefer to stand.” Jeska replied, as she watched Hotep warily. Hatshepsut watched them both, realizing that her first guess was right; there really was something going on between them. She glanced at Hotep who evaded her gaze and Jeska, who did the same thing. Surprisingly, Jeska was the first person to break the silence, she had given the matter some thought and she knew the perfect allies for them. “I think we need to enlist the help of the Nubian Medjay. I’ve treated them many times and they are a great asset to Egypt. I’m sure I can persuade them to join our cause in driving the Hyksos out. With their resources and our soldiers, I’m sure we’ll stand a chance against the enemy.” Jeska said simply, without boasting of her connections; the Nubian Medjay would not just listen to anyone, Hotep knew that the fact that she was sure that she could get their help meant that they held her in high esteem. Hotep was in awe of Jeska’s suggestion, it was the kind of suggestion he would expect from a fellow general or a seasoned soldier. He had been thinking of how to go about bringing those same people into their campaign against the Hyksos but of course Jeska had a solution. Even after all those years, she still managed to amaze him on so many levels. “I thought of them but I wasn’t exactly sure how to go about wooing them to join our war. Since you have a personal connection, I think it will be easier to get them to our side with my seal of approval.” Hatshepsut responded and Jeska nodded her head in agreement. Hotep did not at all want Jeska to have any part of their crazy war strategy to drive out the Hyksos, but even he could not refuse Jeska’s suggestion. So although he wanted to shout at her, make her give up this madness and return to being a gentle healer, he couldn’t. She probably wouldn’t even listen to him anyway if he told her to stop, she was too far gone, and she wanted revenge for her son’s death. No one in his right mind would try to deny a mother that. “You were always the more methodical one out of the five of us. Thutmose used to joke that you should be in command of the military.” He said lightly, as he chuckled, hoping to dispel the tension in the air with memories from when they were children. However, it had the opposite effect, as Jeska thought he was making fun of her, she believed he didn’t put much stock in her words simply because she was a healer and not a fighter. Jeska lashed out, “Well, if it’s such a joke to you then why are you asking me for my help?” She refused to be taken for granted anymore, she had already gone through years of that. Hotep raised his hands in surrender, trying to placate her before the misunderstanding grew worse. “Relax, Jeska. Thutmose said that, not me, and he didn’t even mean it in the way you’re taking it to be. I’m just worried about you. I don’t like the thought of you getting involved in this war in any way, even if I know that you’d be useful in strategizing and other things. It is not a joke to me, I was only hoping to make you feel more at ease.” He said, making sure to look into her eyes so she wouldn’t be able to doubt the truth of his words. “Oh, now I feel a bit foolish, I don’t know why I expected to always have to be on guard around you.” She said softly, Hatshepsut’s presence already forgotten; they stared at each other, unashamed. “And I’m sorry about what I said earlier, I don’t blame you for being on guard around me, I think it still hurt me that you were with my brother and I took out my anger on you. For that, I am sorry” He reached out and took her hand, before laying a light kiss on her knuckles. She watched him all through the whole thing, with heavy lidded eyes and a playful smile, she could see it now; she could find happiness with this man. While this was happening, Hatsheput watched them, it was a struggle to not burst into tears and throw them apart from each other. Hatshepsut waited until her friends were focused on her before she spoke. She did not dare glance at their hands which were placed together because it sent a burst of pain shooting through her chest. It reminded her of what she no longer had. It did not seem fair to her that the world could still go on while she mourned for her love, it did not seem right that others could still find love while it seemed like her heart was breaking. She had never felt more alone as she did in that room, with two of her oldest friends making eyes at each other. “I need you with me on this campaign, Hotep, because you don’t know how to fail when it comes to issues such as this one.” Hotep nodded, his appreciation of her words evident from the wide smile on his face. “Look, the two of you can sleep here tonight. I would rather have you stay here forever, actually. I’d feel safer with my daughter this close to both of you. It’s going to be tough, I think especially for you, Hotep, but it needs to happen. Jeska, they killed your son. I don’t expect you to grace the battlefield like Hotep would, but if you’re needed, I expect you on the front lines, if not for me, then for your son.” Hatshepsut spoke calmly, as if she wasn’t ordering someone who had never held a weapon before to the frontlines. “I do not agree with that, she is a healer, someone who isn’t trained to fight. You would be sending her to her death, is that what you want? To take advantage of her grief for the sake of your war?” Hotep protested, because he knew Jeska would not, her mind was still clouded with thoughts of revenge. “Don’t be dramatic, Hotep. You’re skilled enough to train her so that she becomes as good as she needs to be. You are Pharaoh’s General. Besides, you and I both know that she would never just sit on the sidelines, strategizing all day long.” Her tone was flippant, even though her heart was pounding wildly, she was so busy trying to convince Hotep that she failed to notice Jeska who stood, watching them. “I need you both to see me before heading home; I have a decree to give you. It’s important in our war.” Hatshepsut said finally, it was as much of an official dismissal as they were going to get. Jeska knew Hatshepsut was using the prospect of avenging her son to lure her into the thick of the war but she let it happen, if she could avenge her son and stay close to Hotep, she would take that chance. A servant soon came to lead them to that private chamber that Hatshepsut had prepared for them. The entire walk to their chamber, Jeska could see that Hotep desperately wanted to talk to her about her involvement in the war but he was not going to change her mind. She did not know whether to be insulted that he did not think she was capable of fighting in the war or be touched by how caring and protective he was being. She understood his reasons for wanting her safe, but he didn’t even consider the fact that she wouldn’t be at peace unless she was with him. Once the servant left, they both stood in awkward silence for a while. They both had different things on their minds, he wanted to talk about her staying away from the frontlines and she just wanted him in her bed. The way she saw things, her job was to stop his mind from going even further down the direction it was already on and take it down the path her thoughts were on. “Jeska…” Hotep started, ready to bring up his misgivings about her going to war. “There’s no point in pretending, Hotep. I think everyone knows about us.” Jeska felt just the tiniest bit of embarrassment at the fact that it was the truth, everyone probably already knew of their feelings for each other. “Who said anything about pretending? I love you, and nothing is going to change that. Hatshepsut gave us a private chamber because she knows we’re soul mates; she was even willing to blackmail us for it, although I’m sure she anticipated your reaction.” Jeska let out a chuckle, relieved that Hotep was following her lead by pushing off the discussion about the war. “She wouldn’t want to separate us as life has cruelly done to her and my brother.” Hotep continued speaking as he took a step towards her and put his hands around her waist, drawing her even closer to him. “I don’t want you to be a part of this. I can’t help but hate her just a little bit for even suggesting it to you but I know you would have joined the campaign even if she hadn’t. I know she means well, in the way that she can, but I can’t have anything happen to you. I’d end my life if you walked the Duat before me.” A wave of sadness clouded his features, making him seem even more closed off from her. She did not want him engulfed in those dark thoughts so she put her forehead to his, trying to comfort him. “Your death is my death and I cannot stand for something to happen to you simply because I was not there” She said softly, trying to will him into accepting her words as truth. “They need to go, Hotep. Hatshepsut is right. They’ve taken Memphis and now they want to work their way down and threaten everything we love. They’re a constant threat to our right to a prosperous Egypt and someone needs to stop them before…” She tried to continue but Hotep stopped her with a playful kiss, it seemed like he shared her thoughts about talk of war; they had more important things to do than talk about killing people who may end up killing them after all. Instead, they spent that night in reckless abandon, lost in each other’s arms, as if they were trying to recapture the lost memories of their youth. Relearning every part of the lovers they thought would be forever lost to them, while Hatshepsut, alone in her room, cried herself to sleep, silent tears that would leave no trace so that no one would ever know that the queen had been crying. The next day, it was time to leave, Jeska and Hotep left the palace together on horseback. It was their first time doing anything remotely romantic in public, in the light of day with no fear of what people would say about her going around with her dead husband’s brother. She had never felt safer. It was an exciting thing; riding on horseback with her arms tightly wrapped around the love of her life. They were in front of Jeska’s house, trying to go through the plan and say their goodbyes for the day. Hatshepsut’s plan was incredibly risky for all of them, even Hatshepsut who would be in the palace most of the time while Hotep and Jeska did the dangerous work. Jeska tried to toss away her fears and apprehensions regarding the plan but it did not work. Besides, she knew that it was always good to keep a bit of fear with you; fear kept you going. It kept you alive. Only a foolish person with a death wish disregarded fear. Jeska knew fear. “It’s definitely risky.” Hotep had been not-so-subtly trying to get her to quit the plan. She understood that he was worried about her, but she was also worried about him and she was not drilling into his ears the dangers that were associated with the plan. Just the thought of him facing one of the Hyksos and getting injured or, the gods forbid, dying, sent her heart into overdrive. None of her potions or herbs would stop her frantically beating heart. She was on her way to potential misery. “I know it’s risky, Hotep. I’m still going to do it, regardless. It has to be done. You know I’m worried about you too, right?” She needed him to know. Sometimes it felt as if he was not sure of her love for him – or he was completely unaware. She constantly reminded him of her love, every opportunity she got. “I know you’re worried, Jeska.” “What are you going to be doing now that you’ve been granted leave from the military? Aside from training me to be a warrior of enviable skills.” Hatshepsut had granted Hotep a long leave from the military so that he could physically train Jeska. Perhaps that was what she was excited about the most – getting to train herself to fight and defend herself, while using weapons. “I wasn’t granted leave from the military, Hatshepsut simply did what Hatshepsut did.” He was right. That morning, Jeska had watched as Hatshepsut took a papyrus from the table in front of her and wrote things down. It was later that Jeska knew that she had written an instruction that granted leave to Hotep for a designated period of time – the period Hatshepsut believed would be enough to avenge Senenmut’s death and drive the Hyksos out. “But I’m thinking of just relaxing with you, spending every single minute I can with you. That is what I wish to do. It is what I will do – will you let me, Jeska?” Jeska stood stunned, looking at the man in front of her. This man who towered above her, protecting her from whatever he could. This man asking for her permission and not just taking; he barely took. He just gave and gave and gave while she did her best to give him. Sometimes he refused. “Of course, I’ll let you, Hotep. You have my heart, remember? Please don’t ever forget that, okay?” He would never forget it. CHAPTER FIFTEEN You have to strike with your body, not just your fists or weapons. That way, the force of your body is sure to knock your attacker out. That's the most effective way to win a fight. You also need to be swift in your weapons game. Wield your weapon with skill, even if it's faked skill, and your opponent is sure to be apprehensive." Hotep had been drilling and training Jeska for days now, axe wielding, hand to hand combat, archery battle techniques, and she was beyond exhausted and frustrated. It was not that he was a bad teacher. It was far from that. In fact, Hotep was the best teacher she had ever had. It was the fact that he was so serious with his task that they barely even took time off to rest. It seemed he was so used to his military lifestyle that he did not even realize that normal people got tired quite easily. That was the problem with her training sessions with Hotep. "So, I have to fake it sometimes? And wield a weapon at the same time." Sarcasm helped. A lot. Military Hotep did not appreciate sarcasm so she was sarcastic as many times as she could be during their sessions. It made her feel impossibly youthful. "It's funny because I know you're being serious and sarcastic at the same time. You have an enviable talent, Jeska." He looked so reverent in that moment. "I try." She walked to him, shaking her arms as she did, trying to get the pain in her arms to leave. It did not work that way. "What are you doing?" "The arms or the walking to you?" She quirked an eyebrow in question. "Both?" It was more of a question than a statement. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders, linking her fingers behind his neck. He quirked an eyebrow then. "No one's around. I know how much you've missed me." She busied herself with tracing a pattern on his neck. "You're right. I have missed you." He dipped his head and captured her lips. If there was one thing Jeska loved about the trainings, it was the freedom she and Hotep had. They could show their love freely because they were alone a lot. Despite how close they had become again, there was a secret Jeska was keeping from Hotep. She did not know when she would tell him - or if she would ever tell him. Senet had always reminded her of Hotep in some way. He was kindhearted and empathetic. He always had been, right from the moment she gave birth to him. Hotep did not know that Senet was his son - his only son. It was one of those days when Senenmut was away carrying out Hatshepsut's project. He had not started sending messengers then because he still came to visit sometimes. She felt he knew about Senet because it was after he was born that he stopped visiting. In Jeska's opinion, he did not have a rational reason to be angry at her because he would have done the same with Hatshepsut. It turned out that he did; he had a daughter with Hatshepsut. At least that was what she told herself whenever she felt guilty about it. The servant in front of him was actually one of his most trusted soldiers. Somehow, Hatshepsut had pulled some strings and enlisted the help of his most loyal and successful soldiers. "You saw her again?" Hotep wanted to be sure about what was going on before he took any action. It was not in his nature to be reckless. "Yes, General." The man could speak freely since they were in his private chambers, away from ears that were constantly listening for information. "They are saying that she sold it to one of our people who used it to kill a child." A child. Hotep did not know what to think about this news. He did not even know how to react to it. His heart broke for the parents of the child - he could not even begin to understand what Yuri would be going through. The pain of losing a brother or nephew was different from the pain of losing one's own child. He had seen it from Jeska. He had found out some weeks ago from one of his soldiers that Jeska had been selling poison to their people to kill the Hyksos people. He did not know how the man had found out, but he had simply acknowledged the information. A few days had passed before a different soldier came to him to tell him of the same thing. It was then that he told his men to keep an eye out and move with their ears to the ground. At first, he had justified her actions to himself, telling himself that she was not in the wrong. He kept on telling himself that the Hyksos had struck the first blow by killing Senenmut and Nekht. The Hyksos people also caused violence in several parts of the land and he used that to stop his guilt. It did not work. He realized she was wrong in her actions by selling poison to their people because she knew what they were going to be used for - who they were going to be used on. It was later that he realized that she had broken her oath repeatedly by aiding in the deaths of innocent people. The oath she took as a healer required her to save lives, not take them. It was then they he knew he had to act: if not for their sake then for hers. "Is there anything else I can do for you, General?" If you could help me deal with this without creating a mess, I would appreciate it. Hotep did not voice his thoughts. "Is there a way for you to compensate the family?" The soldier's expression mirrored his. There was no way the family could be compensated. All that would satisfy them would be the return of their child. "I'll see what I can do, General." With that the soldier left Hotep alone with his thoughts. They wanted the Hyksos out of Egypt not their innocent people dead. It seemed that Jeska did not mind either way. He was stuck between his morals and supporting her. He was truly in a dilemma. Jeska was stupefied by Hotep's expression. His entire disposition was wrong and just off. She did not understand his anger because she knew he had been aware of what she had been doing. Did he think she did not see his men following her around? “You killed a baby, Jeska.” “A Hyksos baby.” She hastily contributed. “Still a baby, Jeska!” Jeska paused as she let his words sink in, the words ringing through her head. She did not understand his sudden change of attitude. “They killed my child, Hotep, and you want me to show them mercy?!” She was baffled by his words. "You sold poison to someone and a baby died. I didn't say anything about it before but killing a child crosses the line, Jeska. Don't you see it?" He walked closer to her then and when he was in front of her he took her hand in his. "You - we can't continue like this. We use our anger against them to drive them out of Egypt, not to kill their innocent children." She started seeing his words clearly, without the veil of anger and bitterness covering her eyes. What if someone killed Senet for the things she had done? For the crimes she had committed? For the oaths she had broken? She would not be able to live with herself. "I hadn't realized what I was doing. I was so consumed by hate for them that I didn't see what I was doing, Hotep. I've become so hateful." He quickly rushed to her side, pulling her into a hug. "I'm not judging you. I understand and I know what you're going through but we're equally at fault. I should have stopped you earlier... I just kept on ignoring what you were doing. That was wrong." He was right. "Please, Hotep." She gripped his shirt to show him how serious she was about what she was about to tell him. "I need you to correct me. I need you to tell me whenever I do something wrong. We're supposed to balance each other out but we haven't been doing that. We need to start doing that." He nodded, showing he agrees with her. "I'll keep you in check and you do the same for me. Although I may not look like it, I tend to fly off the handle sometimes and I need you to keep me in check." That elicited a hearty laugh from her. Hotep was always the last person to get angry and he knew it. She liked how he humored her, always trying to make her feel better. It did not work this time. She felt like a monster. CHAPTER SIXTEEN Thutmose is dying.” Those words, although so short, hit Jeska harder than she would have ever expected. She could not even begin what Hatshepsut was going through. Despite the stoic face she had on, Jeska knew that the Queen was hurting, even as she delivered the news to her and Hotep. Regardless of how far she and Thutmose had drifted apart he was still her brother. Even before he was her Pharaoh or husband. So Jeska asked the next question with Hatshepsut’s comfort in mind. “Are you okay?” Her question was more for ceremony than anything else. She knew that Hatshepsut was definitely not okay, but she had to ask it anyway. “I’ll – I can survive this.” Hatshepsut spoke with such conviction in her tone but Jeska was not sure who she was trying to convince; herself or her and Hotep. The Queen rose from her seat by the curtain draped window and walked to a low table where pitchers of wine were arranged for her. Jeska watched as she took a pitcher and grabbed a gold tumbler, placing them before her. She opened the pitcher and poured some wine into the tumbler, watching it fill. It was not until the wine was at the brim that Hatshepsut stopped pouring. She stood, watching the tumbler, and for a while Jeska thought she was in a trance until Hatshepsut picked up the tumbler and put it to her lips, slowly sipping from it. Jeska glanced at Hotep, completely unsure of what to do but it seemed he was at a loss too. She watched as Hatshepsut drained the tumbler and reached for the pitcher of wine. It was then that she stepped forward, a hand raised in a show of harmlessness. “Hatshepsut–” But Hatshepsut interrupted her. “Am I not allowed to drink, Jeska?!” Hatshepsut paused then, the pitcher in her hand, poised to pour its contents into the tumbler, when she changed her mind. She pushed away the tumbler and lifted the pitcher to her lips, gulping down wine straight from the pitcher as some wine formed lines on the sides of her mouth, down her chin, dripping onto her ivory robe. After some time, she placed the pitcher on the table and lifted her arm to her mouth, wiping it with the back of her hand. “Am I going to mourn for the rest of my life? Jeska. Hotep. What am I –?” Hatshepsut broke of mid-sentence, a hand over her mouth to stop her sobs. She turned away from them, her eyes lifted to the ceiling. She made to rush forward but Hotep stopped her with his hand. He shook his head at her, and she looked at him in question. He simply mouthed the words she needs space at her, and she understood. They could be there for Hatshepsut physically, but they could not help her if she did not need them. Being by her side was good enough in that moment. “I lost Senenmut – we all did – and it was hell for me. Our daughter was already so attached to him and he died. He was killed by someone who did not even know him properly. I haven’t even mourned him the way I want to and Thutmose is dying? My brother is dying and there is nothing I can do about it.” She paused, trying to catch her breath as she heaved. “I’m sorry, Jeska for not appearing more sensitive to your plight. The truth is I was sensitive; I just wasn’t aware at first. I’m sorry you had to go through so much in such a short period. You didn’t deserve that – no one does.” It hurt Jeska to be reminded of the pain she had experienced during those trying times in her life and it also hurt to think of her friend going through that. It did not matter that she and Jeska were not as close as they were in their childhood. It did not matter that they were not the same people they were as children. All of that did not matter. What mattered was that they were working it out. They were trying to find a balance where their different selves could stay as friends. It was only when Hotep stepped forward to comfort her that Hatshepsut spoke again. “I don’t want to be hugged or consoled. I want to be angry.” If it was another situation, at another time, Jeska would have laughed. She did not laugh then. She did not even crack a smile at Hotep’s reaction to Hatshepsut’s words. She could see that he understood the meaning of Hatshepsut’s words. Her anger would see her wrath and terror descend on her enemies. A sign of a hell to come. Thutmose knew he did not have long to live; the afterlife was calling for him. His reign as Pharaoh had been as short as he had expected. He did not even know if Hatshepsut would mourn him when he was gone. He would weep in the afterlife if she did not; surely she did not hate him to the point that she would not mourn his death. They had been siblings before they were joined in marriage so that counted as something, didn’t it? They had loved each other as children and that love still mattered. He only hoped she would forgive him for all the things he had done. He hoped for his friends’ forgiveness. He prayed for Hatshepsut’s forgiveness even as the disease ate away at him, slowly taking away every last bit of himself he had vowed to hold onto till the very end. Thutmose II faded into the afterlife with no one by his side. He had forbidden all of his lesser wives from paying him a visit, and his close friends, Hotep and Jeska. Till his last breath, he had held onto the hope that his beloved sister and wife, his Great Royal Wife would come to his bedside. She did not. May the gods judge him lightly. Hatshepsut, Pharaoh of Egypt, walked the hallways of her palace and noticed the things that were out of place. It was easy for her to notice these things because she had lived in this palace all her life and she knew the ins and outs. She knew what belonged where. That was why, when she saw Jeska striding down the hallway from her vantage spot, she knew the woman was as out of place as could be. It was not that Jeska was not fit for the palace. No, it was far from that. It was that Jeska was bigger than the palace and she knew. Her friend's gown was as ordinary as it came, lacking in the decorations that were usually attributed to gowns worn by people of her class. That was something Hatshepsut would always admire about Jeska: her simple lifestyle, at least in some areas of her life. "Jeska." Hatshepsut greeted her friend when she stopped in front of her. "Let's go to a more private location, yeah?" She made a point out of glancing around. Jeska sighed to express her discontent at the suggestion. It was only that the topic she and Jeska spoke about the most was driving the Hyksos out of Egypt and people did not need to know that she was connected to it. The other woman did not say anything. She simply gestured her arm forward, telling Hatshepsut to walk ahead, as was to be demanded. Hatshepsut walked passed Jeska, leading her to her private chambers. She dismissed the guards at the door to her chambers with a flick of her wrists. She did not need them there; most of the time they were more of nuisances than they were necessary to her. She grabbed a seat on a low chair and watched as Jeska took in her chamber. She moved once she became Pharaoh and her chambers were bigger. "Where is your daughter?" Jeska's question came out of the blue, all of a sudden. That was a first; she had never asked her about her daughter. "Why?" Her curiosity got the better of her. "Am I not allowed to check after your child?" Jeska did not seem the least bit irked. "You are but that's not the business you came to attend to." Jeska just kept on staring at her, her eyes piercing into her soul. She barely resisted the urge to glance away. Sometimes Jeska was too much, even for her. "It was simply out of courtesy and old friendship. I'm going to visit my son and I won't be back for a while. I've already informed Hotep of my traveling plans and he's agreed that he can start the war without me, if I don't return early enough." Hatshepsut did not even blink at the news of Jeska's last son. She knew when Jeska smuggled him out of Egypt and she was aware that Jeska one of her knowledge. Such was their relationship. She honestly could not care less about whether Jeska had smuggled her child to avoid conscription into the military. She only wished she had done it sooner because her other sons might have been alive as they spoke. It was too late though. She was not going to bring it up, so she neutralized her expression. "If he's okay with it then all I'll say is that you stay safe." She could not bear to lose another person. "I will." Jeska moved for the door but stopped when she took a step. "Keep your daughter safe, Hatshepsut. If you died, they would come for her. So, you can't die. I'll be back." With that she walked the remaining steps to the door and slipped out. It had to be the most beautiful place Jeska had ever been to. It was not about the fact that she had not been to many places aside from where she grew up. It was about the colors the people wore. It was about the different smells of new foods and spices that Jeska had never seen or tried. It was about seeing her son again. The people were speaking a language that she did not understand but she did not mind at all. It was beautiful. A servant had led her from the moment she stepped into the main city. Somehow, he had known who she was; it was probably her skin color that gave her away. She had not spent an hour in this city, but she already knew that the intensity of the sun was more in Egypt. "We're getting closer to the palace, Jeska." It appeared the servant spoke her language, medu neter, although it was broken when he did. She appreciated his effort either way. Perhaps Prince - King - Chac had required that his staff learn a bit of her language. She had also insisted that he called her by her name rather than use titles as he had seemed so eager to do. "This city is beautiful. I wonder how the palace will be." Even she could hear the wonder in her voice. "I am sure you will love the palace, Jeska." Finally, they walked past the last of the market stalls and stepped onto a drawbridge. This place could not be more different from Egypt if it tried. The guards at the gate nodded at her as she passed, and she smiled at them. It was simply magical. In a way it was similar to the palace in Egypt with the number of servants walking around the courtyard. Jeska stopped beside the servant when she saw multiple servants standing in front of the entrance to the palace. They were in two lines and she was so confused by their presence that she did not notice a man walk between them. "Jeska." It was then that she noticed him. Garbed in the traditional dress of his people and looking like a true King. "King Chac. Thank you for having me." She owed him so much. "I would not be here if it wasn't for you. You helped me." He looked at her as he spoke. It was not until he turned to his right that she noticed the woman. She had to be the most beautiful woman Jeska had ever met. "This is my wife, Jeska." "Thank you for receiving me so kindly." "No, thank you." The woman's voice was extremely pleasant. "My husband would not be here if you hadn't helped him long ago. I would not have married him so thank you for helping us." The woman had barely finished speaking when a tall figure joined them. He stopped beside King Chac and looked at her. She took a step forward the moment she saw him; it could only be him. But he beat her to it. She found herself engulfed in warm arms, her head tucked in his chest. She could already feel the tears pricking at her eyelids, but she did not care. "Mama -" "Senet, my baby." She grabbed his shoulders and hugged him tight to her. Her son was alive and well. My son. "You're alright. You're okay. Thank you. Thank you." She did not know who she was thanking. She just knew that she needed to thank someone. The gods had shown her mercy. "Of course, I'm alive, mama. You're here." He pulled away from her and she reluctantly let him, with one hand on his shoulder and the other cupping his cheek. "I've missed you so much." "I missed you too." As she spoke, she caressed his face. She was not sure if she just wanted to assure herself that he was alive and right in front of her, but she just kept on doing it. "I'm sorry about my brothers. I wasn't aware enough to be there for you." He was speaking quickly then, his eyes focused on the ground. "I could have done more for you." "Hey." When he did not look up, she spoke again. "Look at me. You did all you could, and you were there for me in your own way and I love you for that." She desperately needed to let him know. When he looked at her, she saw tears in his eyes. Had he carried that guilt all these years? She could not even imagine him living with such guilt. She ignored the servants and the King with his Queen and gathered her son in her arms. If she could take it all away, she would. She would do anything for him. She already had. The evening breeze ruffled her hair and Jeska pulled it away from her face. She was going to enjoy every single second she spent in this foreign place where her son grew up. A sigh escaped her lips as she thought of Senet. They had spent every single moment together since they first embraced at the entrance to the main palace, in front of servants and royalty. She knew it was impossible, but she wanted to learn everything she could about him before she had to go back. She didn’t bother him with the on-goings back at home, or worry him about a war waiting for her return. During their time together she had noticed how much he reminded her of Hotep. It was the most obvious in his physical appearance. He had Hotep's figure and he looked strikingly like him. She still got shocked whenever she saw him. It struck her how much he behaved like Hotep during dinner. He barely talked at all when people were making conversation. He would occasionally smile at her and place food on her plate, asking her the occasional question. He was so calm and kind to everyone, even the servants. When they were walking down the hallway they were greeted by a servant and she watched, astonished, as he had a short conversation with the servant. Even after they walked away, she was stunned into silence. "What?" He had asked her, glancing at her. "I'm just surprised that you held a conversation with him." She smirked with pride. "You taught me to never look down on people, regardless of their status. Besides, it helps sometimes. You never know when you need their help for serious issues." He spoke with such conviction, it shocked her. His last sentence felt like a direct echo from Hotep. He truly was his father’s son. "I didn't know you listened that intently to me." "I always did - we always did." His inclusion of his brothers brought back memories and she could see that he remembered too. Jeska was snapped out of her thoughts when she heard a knock at her door. She gave a sigh, signifying that the person could come in. Guards had been placed at her door and she knew they would not permit anyone that was not allowed to see her. She knew it was most likely Senet, so she relaxed. "I hope you don't mind my visit." She turned immediately she heard the voice. It was not Senet. "King Chac. No, I don't mind your visit. You've honored me and it is your palace." Her words caused him to laugh as he walked up to her and leaned against the stone banister. "I haven't properly thanked you for what you've done. Senet turned out well, even better than I had expected so thank you." "You don't have to thank me, Jeska." They stood in silence for a while after that. It was not uncomfortable and for that, Jeska was grateful. She had just about forgotten he was with her when he spoke. "You remember that day, when I asked you to help me?" She turned to him and saw him watching her intently, his eyes locked on hers. "Of course, I remember it. Senet would most likely not be alive if that day did not happen." "Yes. That day, when I was supposed to be thinking of how much I wanted to get my kingdom back from my treasonous brother, I was thinking about how beautiful your eyes were." He did not at all falter in his speech, but she felt an eyebrow rise in surprise at his straightforwardness. She had known since the day she met him that he was attracted to her, but she had not expected his attraction to her to stand strong after all those years. "I was prepared to do anything for you, just to make you happy. I still am." She did not know what to say so she spoke the first thing on her mind. "I am with someone. I'm sure you know that." "I know but you can be my Queen, Jeska. You will get to see Senet every day and you will be happy here with me, with us." It annoyed her that he was using Senet to lure her. "You cannot use my son to lure me to be with you." Anger tugged at her lips, letting the words slip out unbidden. "I will not force you to be with me. I am simply telling you the benefits of becoming my Queen. I have already told my wife about it and she agrees that we owe gratitude to you. I will not treat her any less if you become my Queen. I will treasure you, Jeska." He raised his hand and slipped a finger down her cheek, gently sliding her hair behind her ear as he did so. She watched his hand fall to his side, and she kept her gaze on it, thinking. She had only been with two men in her life but was it not crazy that the two men were brothers? This was a man that was interested in her. It helped that he was attractive. It was not that other men had not been attracted to her. It was that she was willing to be with another man in that moment. She tilted her body in his direction and looked at him. She hoped she would not regret her next actions. It was a win for both of them. He was attracted to her and she wanted to experience someone new. Someone different. There was a war waiting for her, and if she was going to risk a fling without being caught, this moment was perfect. It was probably the only moment she would have. She took his hand and led him away from the banister, toward the bed. She had made her decision. She would enjoy her night. CHAPTER SEVENTEEN After breakfast the next morning Jeska found herself walking the courtyard with Chac by her side. Surprisingly, it was not awkward, considering what they did the night before. She knew he was still intent on convincing her to marry him, but she would do all she could to steer the conversation away from that topic. They had been walking for some time, quiet between them when she finally voiced the questions that had been plaguing her mind. "You said some years earlier that you knew what happened to Senenmut and Nekht." He glanced at her then. He did not seem surprised at her question, it was as if he had been expecting it. "Tell me what happened to my son and husband. You know who killed them?" "Yes, I did tell you that. I was friends with Senenmut when he was still alive. When we met for the first time, I was genuinely surprised by him. He seemed like a man that was all about violence and thoughtless action. I don't know if you understand what I mean," her nod showed her understanding and he continued. "As I got to know him, I saw that he was completely different from what I had thought him to be. He was an intelligent man and he hated war. He hated pointless violence and aggression and he inspired me in so many ways." His words brought Senenmut back to life. All of a sudden, she could see him again, it was as if he was right in front of her. Words could not describe how much she missed him. He had been such a good friend to her. "Senenmut had always been that way. You should have seen him when we were younger." "I can only imagine. He mentioned you a few times, as well as your children." His words squeezed her heart. Senenmut might not have been the best father but it was no question that he had loved his sons. "I met Nekht years later, when he was working on that project. It shocked me every single time, how similar he was to his father. He didn't even realize it. I remember I pointed it out to him once and he was so angry at me for saying it. I knew that he loved his father, regardless of how he behaved when his name was brought up." They passed a fountain which had birds walking the edges and occasionally dipping their head to take water. "During both times, when I met your husband and son, there was a woman - a Hyksos woman - that regularly visited the project site. She always came with this foul-smelling dish for people to eat. She sold it sometimes, but it was mostly free. The first time I saw her, I refused the food. That day was the first time I honestly thought I was going to die. I hadn't eaten anything in days, and I was starving. My stomach was eating itself and it was just a matter of time before I let go. Regardless of all that, something told me not to eat the woman's food, so I didn't. I didn't give it much thought when Senenmut died. I just assumed maybe he was sick, or he ate something bad. It was not until Nekht died that I gave it some thought. When Nekht arrived, the woman was there, selling her foul food. I warned him about the woman, but he most likely did not take my advice. I think he was in a bad place at that point in his life." Jeska sensed that it was getting worse, so she looked for the closest bench and took a seat. Chac sat down beside her. She realized that he was waiting for her cue, so she spoke. "You can continue." She planted her hands on the bench and looked at her laps. She would break if she looked at Chac. "Once, I was at the palace after Senenmut's death. I was finishing up one of his informal businesses and I happened to pass by Pharaoh Thutmose II's private chambers. You have to understand that I'm not trying to make you hate anyone, neither am I accusing anyone. I'm simply telling you what I saw. I saw the same woman coming from Pharaoh's chambers one of those days and I realized that Pharaoh could be involved in the woman's scheme, so I escaped my captors who were supervising my visits to the palace. Immediately I escaped, I went to see you. That was how I met you. That was why I had to tell you that their deaths might have been intentional." Silence accompanied Chac's words. Jeska did not care if it made him uncomfortable. His words had opened her eyes to possibilities. Her thoughts were spiraling into dangerous territory and she could do nothing to stop it. She did not even think she wanted to stop it. Was it possible that Thutmose was involved in their deaths? Surely, he would not do that to her. They had been friends. She had loved him. She had wished the best for him, always. Was it because he knew about Hatshepsut's daughter? He would have known that she was also Senenmut's; the girl was the only one Hatshepsut could have. He had always seemed like he loved his sister. He knew firsthand how much Hatshepsut and Senenmut loved each other. What drove him to do it? Jeska was sure she was going to go insane. "When am I going to meet the lucky girl?" Senet looked as handsome as ever in his robe. It was similar to what her people wore but it was a slightly thicker material. She walked with him down the hallway, passing servants doing various chores. She could not believe her son was getting married. She still saw him as a child. A boy. "You'll meet her soon, mama." To her surprise, he had decided to do his wedding the way her people did it. She had expected him to do it the way Chac's people did but he had informed her that he wanted to honor their people. She had been overjoyed. She still was. They had signed the needed contracts the day before and she was going to move in with him. "I'm just excited. I can't believe you're getting married, Senet. You're so grown up now and I missed you growing up. I wasn't there for that and I wish I was." She dazes off into internal sorrow. "Mama." When she did not respond he spoke with more conviction, urging her to acknowledge him. "Mother." She glanced at him. He looked so confused, it was almost comical. "You did everything for me. I wouldn't be alive if you hadn't done what you did, and I will be forever grateful. You told me not to feel guilty for not being there for you the way I would have wanted; the way I wish I was. I listened to you and I'm trying to get it right, but you have to know that too, mama. You cannot feel guilty for saving me." He took her face in his hand and looked into her eyes. He had Hotep's eyes. "Do you understand me?" She blinked away the tears that were forming in her eyes and nodded at him. He pulled her gently to him and hugged her. The hug was brief, but it conveyed everything it needed to. He loved her. She loved him. When they arrived at the hall where the small celebratory ceremony was taking place, all Jeska could see was food and colors. She had not been in the hall for long when a girl walked up to them. Somehow, she immediately knew she was the one that had caught her son's eye. "It's nice to finally meet you, Jeska." The girl glanced at Senet as she spoke, looking back at Jeska. "I hope you don't mind being called by your name. Senet told me you don't like being addressed in titles." It was only when the girl finished speaking that Jeska realized she spoke in her language. Her interest was officially piqued. "You understand medu neter?" It was a question and a statement. "Yes, I learned from Senet." Her eyes were shining with excitement. "I love the language so much. I have heard so much about you from him and I've always wanted to meet you. Learning your language was a pleasure." "Elena, we just got here." "Hush, Senet." Elena had a teasing smile on her face. "Yes, Senet. Hush. Why didn't you tell me she was as amazing as this?" She smiled so proudly. "Mother!" They both laughed at his false outraged tone. She was happy that Senet was in good hands. This Elena girl was possibly the best person she could have wished for him. "It is not too late to change your mind and stay, Jeska. We could always have another wedding ceremony after Senet's. There is no rule that goes against that." Jeska could not help but be amused at Chac's persistence. If it was an entirely different situation, she would have laughed out-rightly. But it was a sensitive situation and Jeska knew how to handle those. "I know there's no rule, but I also know that you are aware of the person I'm with. My answer remains the same, King Chac. Thank you for all you've done. You say you owe everything to me, but I think it's the other way round. Senet would probably be dead if you hadn't helped me and for that I'm grateful." "Are you going to return?" Chac looked the slightest bit hurt but hopeful. "Yes. My only surviving son's here. He will probably stay here all his life so I will return. Besides, you're a friend now." She cast a sly glance at him, her mouth lifted at a corner in a smile. He returned her smile with a satisfactory nod of his head. "Trust that when you return, my people will treat you right. They will treat you like my Queen." Jeska did not mind being treated like a Queen, but she had a King waiting for her and a war to join. CHAPTER EIGHTEEN It struck Jeska how different Egypt was from Chac's kingdom. The most obvious difference was the heat. It seemed like the gods had it out for her and her people so they made the sun as intense as could be, with Ra taking things to another level. Another thing that stood out to her was the dressing of her people. The sun influenced so many things in Egypt, it seemed she was only realizing it fully in that instance. They had to wear light clothing so as not to attract too much heat and possibly melt or worse, heat stroke. It did not matter, though. She would not lie and say spending time with Senet was the only thing she missed about her journey to Chac's kingdom. She missed the food and colors. She missed the smell of the place. It was different. She liked different. She could not wait to surprise Hotep. At least, before she joined the war - and they barely had time for their relationship, it would be nice to spend time with him, just the two of them. She was still contemplating whether to tell him about her affair with Chac. She knew he would not be happy about it, but would it not be better to get it out in the open and be done with it? Um no, you love Hotep, what he doesn’t know won’t hurt him - it was a fling; nothing more. Nothing to know here. “Jeska!” That voice. She looked up as a smile spread across her face. It was similar to the one on his face. “How did you know I was coming back today?” Confusion tinged every single word that came out of her mouth. “Have you forgotten that I’m topnotch military material?” He spoke with a smirk on his face, his walk somewhat springy. She loved it when he got cocky. “Topnotch military? I’m just – I thought I was going to surprise you. I wanted to surprise you.” He took her bag from her shoulder and swung it over his. “Does it count that I’m happy to see you?” “Of course. How are you even here? Aren’t you supposed to be in charge of some soldiers?” She lowered her voice to a whisper. “Fighting against the Hyksos?” “I left my most trusted men in charge.” “You have to get your priorities right, Hotep.” She cast a glance at him. It was clear she was teasing him. “My priorities are in the best order, Jeska. That’s why I’m here with you.” He clung to her side and leaned in for a smooch. Jeska realized the moment she stepped into their special base that she was the only woman. She had never felt as uncomfortable in all her life as she did then. When she gave a remark about it Hotep assured her that he had thought ahead of her. “You’re going to be safe here, I promise. I would not have let Hatshepsut pull you into this ridiculous mission in the first place. Besides, there are women but most of them stay around the kitchen area; the only exception to that being you.” He smiled at her and, because she could not resist, she smiled back. He did that to her. “Senet is doing well. He’s even married. I mean, I got there just in time for the ceremony. You should have been there.” Jeska felt guilty. Hotep should have been there. He was Senet’s father even though he was not aware of it “I wish I was.” She quickly glanced at him and looked away when she almost tripped on a small piece of rock. “He would have been happy to see you.” “I’d hope he would be. I don’t know if I would have been able to stand that prince.” The first time she had told Hotep about Chac he had not even bothered to act ignorant. He stated outright that he did not like him. Jeska had not failed to point out the fact that he had not even met Chac. Hotep had replied saying he did not need to meet the “contender”. “You most definitely wouldn’t have been able to stand that King.” “Kings are the worst.” “You haven’t even met any. All you’ve known are Pharaohs.” She laughed. “And?” he said, shooting her a slightly perplexed look, but she ignored it. She knew that she was certainly going to enjoy every second she spends with him, she was ready whatever was to happen as she was no stranger to loss. “Hatshepsut has made Ahmose her Vizier.” The Vizier of Egypt was the highest official to serve and sometimes advise the Pharaoh; he was tasked with making sure lesser officials were fulfilling the tasks assigned to them and to ensure that Egypt was running smoothly. “He’ll be here momentarily, when’s the last time you visited Ahmose?” Jeska’s happiness quickly depleted at Hotep’s words. “Why? Don’t tell me he’s going to be a part of this too?” “He argued that he has a lot of information to share. The kind of information that could end this war as quickly as it began. I don’t want him involved in this anymore than I want you involved but he’s as stubborn as you are. What can I do about that, my love?” Hotep pulled her close for a kiss, but was interrupted by Ahmose entering their quarters. He walked towards them with his hands up in surrender, “Please go on, don’t let me interrupt.” Ahmose strutted in; smiling confidently. Jeska turns to him with a frown, putting her hands on her hips in protest. “She hired me because I can help save Egypt.” He smirked. Jeska mildly sighs, she turns to Hotep and he shrugs, “Don’t look at me,” he says, “I never wanted you to be part of this,” he points at Ahmose, “let alone that one, he can’t even take a crap without directions.” “Hey that’s a little harsh. I’m an educated man.” Ahmose defended, his mouth open in shock and shaking his head incredulously. “Okay, so what do you know that can save Egypt?” Jeska was not in the mood to play games with her little brother, they were no longer children, Ahmose had a wife and three kids that depended on his position; so she didn’t expect him to enter a war zone. She felt as his big sister, she should be able to handle the situation on ground; so seeing him with a swagger in his step, throwing sarcastic comments here and there during a time of war made her a bit furious. “I have valuable information on the Hyksos King.” He conceded. Hotep and Jeska looked at each other with surprise, realizing the words from Ahmose mouth could turn the tides of war. “I will tell you everything I know, but we need to break bread and catch up first. I’ve missed you guys!” Jeska smiled and opened her arms to give her brother a long and overdue hug. After dining and catching up Ahmose and Jeska take a stroll around the base, discussing their new found information and reminiscing about childhood, their family, and Jabari. “I miss him you know.” Ahmose let out a mournful sigh. Jeska pulled him in for a comforting hug, held his hand as they walked side by side, smiling as they remembered the good old days. “You act as if he’s gone forever, he just travelled to Punt.” Jeska shook her head laughing, Ahmose rolled his eyes faking offense at her words. “Laugh all you want, you know he’s my best friend.” “And your brother, I know what it’s like to lose a best friend, but yours is coming back little brother.” She advised. “You still have two left, I have only one” Ahmose protested with a frown. She stops and turns to him. “Okay, firstly - you need to make more friends, Secondly - I don’t care how many best friends I have, I still lost two and it hurts all the same.” “Jeska, I didn’t mean-” Jeska raised her hand up to cut him short; she had not finished making her point. “I know how important it is to be your brother’s keeper, I get it, I…” her voice cracked, Ahmose pulled her in for a hug. She let a tear roll down her cheek before she deeply inhaled and exhaled in his arms. “I don’t want to hurt you Jeska, I love you. It hurts me that you suffered so much, if I could trade places with you I would in a heartbeat.” She gently pushes him away. “I don’t want you to Ahmose. It is my pain and no one else’s, my personal hell that has been designed specifically for me, It shapes me into the person I’m supposed to be; good or bad, as the gods intended. It’s not to be traded or wished on someone else.” “You sound like father.” “Good, He was the best teacher I ever had, apart from Hotep.” She smiled and they both gaze up at the stars. “Do you think mother and father are happy in the afterlife? And Nekht, Hortitif, and Senenmut?” “I don’t think, I know.” They both smile, and she gently strokes his face. Hotep approaches them from behind and warms his way in between them; putting his arms around their shoulders. “So when does she get to meet the Queen of the Hyksos?” Hotep inquires nonchalantly. Ahmose leans forward to make eye contact with his sister, “Whenever you’re ready.” She nods in agreement, Hotep turns to her with an eyebrow raised. “When she’s ready, right Hotep?” Ahmose reassures. “Of course, only when she’s ready. That can be one thousand years from now though as far as I’m concerned.” Hotep smiled at Jeska, she smiled back exaggerating her nod of agreement. “Well, I’ll leave you two alone I think I’ll retire to my quarters. I’ll check in with you tomorrow morning.” Ahmose and Hotep hug, and he does the same to his sister. As they watch Ahmose walk away, Hotep held Jeska by the waist and kissed the back of her neck, she turned around to face him. “Do you think I should meet her?” “It’s up to you, there’s more than one way to drive them out; this is just the easy way. You need to think about it. You need her for information that may be useful to us.” He leans his forehead on hers and smiles. She steals a kiss and leaves a huge smile on Hotep’s face. “You know what I want to do right now?” She sings playfully and puts her arms around his neck. “What?” he asks, genuinely curious. “I want to get drunk off of blue lotus wine with you.” “Since when did you flirt with blue lotus, Healer?” He teases. “Since I decided to love you, live freely and save Egypt. I gave the ladies in the kitchen instructions to make some, It’s waiting for us. Shall we General?” Hotep kisses Jeska, taking his time, enjoying the feel and taste of her lips. “I’ll do anything with you.” he says. She takes his hand and he kisses her knuckles; they disappear into the night to take part in a phenomenal liquid psychedelic experience. Jeska was pacing back and forth; she was nervous. She had no idea what the Hyksos Queen would be like, and if she would be willing to betray her brother. She waited patiently in Hotep’s private chambers, alone. There were strict instructions that no one other than Jeska was to meet with the Queen, this was to ensure the Queen’s safety. It was agreed upon that the Queen would meet at their special base, but only if she was to meet with the famous healer alone. Yes, even the Hyksos Queen knew of Jeska and her blood line. She respected Jeska, and she would soon find out that she respected her more than Hatshepsut; Pharaoh knew this - which is why he employed Jeska’s brother, Ahmose, as Vizier to convince the Queen to talk to Jeska - Ahmose had an interesting and respectable past with the Hyksos Queen; her treachery against her own brother depended on a woman she felt was more significant than the Pharaoh. Because Hatshepsut understood this, she began her game of chess, it was no longer checkers. A game of precision, focus, and patience, Hatshepsut knew the importance of those adjectives, it was what her father groomed her for. Now she was able to test her skills, Hotep would be Hatshepsut’s knight and Jeska her rook, getting the Queen to betray her brother, the King of the Hyksos; in chess that would be checkmate. A woman enters. Jeska looks at the woman and addresses her, “your highness?” she says, unsurely. The woman doesn’t answer; she busies herself by searching - looking, for what? Jeska can only guess. She searches every corner, every compartment, and then finally she turns to Jeska. Jeska on defense - is ready for whatever this woman will do. “Are you the healer named Jeska?” This woman has a blank stare, waiting for Jeska’s response. She nods in affirmation. “You need to undress now.” The woman demanded. “Excuse me…” “I need you to undress now!” The woman demands. “Your highness I’m not here…” The woman abruptly interrupts Jeska. “Now! Or the Queen is not to step foot in here.” “No.” Jeska protest, and puts her hands on her hips in defiance. Another woman enters the room. This woman was younger, beautiful - dressed in jewels and fine linen. She could see now that the woman asking her to undress was not the Queen. “Yami, thank you for ensuring my safety.” Yami turns to the woman in disappointment. “I don’t know if she’s carrying weapons, and it’s my job to…” The woman cuts Yami short mid-sentence and dismisses her. Once Yami leaves, the young woman in from of her turns to Jeska. “She’s very loyal.” The woman smiles at Jeska. “I understand, but asking me to undress was a bit much.” an irritated Jeska crosses her arms over her chest. “I agree.” The Queen nods in embarrassment. “My name is…” “I know who you are, healer Jeska. I know your brother Ahmose. He is a good friend to me. I am Queen Amanti of the Hyksos people, sister to King Apepi.” “Yes, your highness.” Jeska nods respectfully. “Please call me Amanti. I’m no good with titles, and I know you feel the same Jeska.” Jeska smiles and relaxes a bit through her sense of camaraderie with the Queen and their shared interest of casual bravado. They both sat at Hotep’s map covered table - across from the each other. “Of course the nature of our business is how to stop this inevitable war.” Jeska nods in agreement. “My brother Apepi hates the Egyptians, he thinks you are beneath the Hyksos and should be exterminated like vermin with no souls.” Jeska’s mood quickly changed; her eyes were like daggers upon hearing the King’s words spoken from her mouth. The Queen sensed the awkward tension coming from across the table, and so she hurried to her point. “If Ahmose and I did not have a great relationship, I might have thought the same. Your brother saved me from a wild hippopotamus a few years ago. Apepi knew this, and he didn’t care. He said the Hippo was a god, Ipet. He said Ipet would finish the job at some point and I would walk the Duat sooner than later.” Amanti wept, a hand on her stomach. “That the Egyptians were the real threat. He complained that you guys kill the god’s children - Ipet’s children; because you have no soul fit for existence. Ahmose saved me from a rogue hippopotamus when Apepi could care less. Ahmose saved me, he’s not a soulless person, he is a hero.” Jeska genuinely felt bad for Amanti, but was also very proud of her brother; Ahmose saved a Hyksos but she killed a few, a child even. She made to reach over the table for Amanti’s hand - for support. The Queen waved her hand away, feeling foolish, Jeska cocked her head to the side in surprise. “I need your help healer, not your pity.” The Queen wiped her face of the runaway tears - leaving a red face, nose, and kohl blackened eyes. “I wasn’t offering pity, but yes, let’s get down to business. Your King hates us, you have a soft spot for us soulless vermin naket iadets, your highness, what are you doing here because I’m getting a little angry and tired of royalty using me for their personal gain!” Jeska rose from her chair - out of frustration and slammed her hands on the table. Amanti, a bit startled, held onto her stomach in shock. “Are you pregnant or something?!” Jeska yelled. “Yes, yes I am.” Amanti responded calmly. Jeska, in shock, closed her eyes and exhaled. I just yelled at a pregnant Queen, was King Apepi right about Egyptians? “I’m pregnant by a Nubian King, not a Hyksos.” there was confusion all over Jeska’s features, she sat down, and Amanti continued. “I fell in love with Kashta many years ago, we see each other in secret.” Jeska was no stranger to King Kashta, they knew each other from her father’s healings in Kush. As her father healed Egyptian Pharaohs, he healed Nubian Kings, Queens, and their people as well. “I know Kashta.” “Yes, he told me. He has told me all about you, Ahmose has told me all about you. I have great respect and admiration for you Jeska.” Jeska smiled, it felt good to hear someone talk about her with such high regard. “That’s why I will only speak to you, no one else. Kashta was given a letter.” Amanti takes a folded papyrus from under her robe, she tosses it across the table. Jeska grabs it and reads. Moments later Jeska looks up at Amanti in amazement. “King Apepi was going to ask Kashta to join his efforts to drive us from our homeland?!” Amanti nodded and tears continue to flow down her cheeks. “What will Kashta do?” Jeska’s stomach dropped as if she was free-falling from a two-hundred-foot obelisk at the thought of losing the war. “Kashta is not interested, I’m not interested, and I’m not the only Hyksos that’s not interested in war. We don’t want a war. I told Kashta I heard Apepi say many times, if he was to join his efforts, once Egyptians were dead and gone, the Nubians were next.” “The King really believes he can eradicate two cultures?” Jeska says with mild disbelief and sarcasm. Amanti shakes her head and continues to cry. “I’m having Kashta’s baby, if Apepi knew, he’d kill me.” “So what are you proposing?” “Apepi doesn’t have many loyalists, the Hyksos people want peace. I support peace and they know this; I walk the villages daily in Memphis. If Apepi could, he would kill me, but he knows the people would not be happy and his throne would be threatened. If he had a reason to kill me, like my being pregnant by a Nubian, he will do it and the people will follow him undoubtedly. I’m not showing yet, but soon I will be, if I can publicly get the Hyksos people to betray Apepi and leave Memphis for Kush, you would only have a few hundred of his devoted loyalists - and I’m not too sure they would stick around when they see you outnumber them four to one on the battlefield." Jeska slouched back in her chair at Amanti’s last sentence. “What if you are wrong? What if the Hyksos people decide to stay and fight?” “I’m not wrong, if I didn’t think there was a chance, I would lay with my brother just to make him think it was his baby. They will follow me Jeska.” Amanti reaffirms. Jeska closed her eyes, and the image of Isis from her dream popped into her head as a memorial to her commitment to the prophecy. “What do you want from the Pharaoh?” “That Kashta and I remain royalty in Kush, under her authority.” “You want to be Viceroy of Kush?” Amanti nodded at Jeska’s suggestion; a Viceroy is an official who runs the country as a representative in the name of the Pharaoh. In Amanti and Kashta’s case they would be King and Queen status in Kush, but as representatives of the Pharaoh to the Nubians in Kush. Days later, Hatshepsut made a decree to make it a reality. Her third time on a ship was only slightly better than her first two times. All she experienced was the slightest bit of nausea and a case of helping Hotep deal with seasickness. They had been on water for some days and he only seemed to be getting worse with each day that passed. “This is even worse than strategizing. I would trade this for strategizing any day.” She looked back to see Hotep walking dizzily toward her. She quickly walked to him to keep him from falling. With her arm around his waist, she led him to a chair. “I’m glad our Hyksos-fighting days are over.” Jeska was as glad as could be. It had been years since the war between Hotep’s selected men and the Hyksos started. At first, all Jeska had done was strategize with him. She had always complained about it, but she found she was good at anything strategic, methodical, and tactical. It was only towards the end of the war that she started joining Hotep’s men in battle; wielding her battle axe and slicing through numerous skulls – there was a point where she lost count of how many. She had pierced many throats with her bloodstained spears and daggers, sparing none of her enemies from the deadly precision of her exceptional archery techniques. She was even envied and feared by the General that was standing beside her; at least on the battlefield. Even though she continued strategizing, Jeska came to be the secret weapon against the Hyksos; unleashing the anger-driven, vengeance-seeking, tactical warrior-healer named Jeska was a final measure. Her only incentive to stay away from the forefront of the battle was that she was in charge of battle strategies. “You have no idea.” She stood beside him, her gaze fixed on the wide expanse of water around them. All they could see was water and water and water for miles. She could not wait to see Senet. It had been too long. It was a good thing she was bringing his father along– Hotep was still unaware. She had to tell him before he saw Senet and realized the truth all by himself. When she turned to him, he was already looking at her. “What’s on your mind, Jeska?” Senet is your son Senet is your son Senet is your son – “Senet is your son.” She watched his expression closely, looking for surprise on his features. She saw nothing similar to it. “Did you know?” He was not angry. A single nod was his response. Hotep quickly stood up, steadying himself against the chair before he walked to her. She watched him, her arms folded across her chest. She was not even surprised; of course, he knew. “I’ve known since he was little. You have to understand I didn’t say anything about it because I wanted you to tell me yourself. I wanted you to be ready. I wasn’t playing any foolish game with you.” “I know you weren’t.” She took his hand in hers, playing with his fingers. “But I’m not too happy he had to get raised by that Chac. I’m happy he’s alive and if you’re happy, I’m happy.” “You won’t mind if I introduce you as his father, right?” “I’ve been waiting for this all my life. I’m meeting my son, not my nephew. Introduce all you want.” As they drew closer to the special port near Chac’s palace that was used just for him and people he permitted, Jeska found herself getting nervous. The closer they got to the port, the more people she could see. Jeska thought she could barely make out Senet’s outline. “I can see them. I think I know which is him.” Hotep had just about worn a path in the wooden surface of the ship with all the pacing he had been doing. It was clear to anyone watching that he was far more nervous than she was. Finally, their ship was at the docks and they were walking to meet the people waiting for them. Jeska had already spotted Senet. The moment they stepped on the docks, he made his way to them, his hand on his wife’s lower back, eager to rush to them and, at the same time, he wanted to be a good husband. Jeska noticed Hotep get stiff the moment Senet started walking toward them. She hoped he did okay. Immediately Senet got to them he pulled her in for a hug. Nothing had changed about him the last time she saw him; he was still her boy. He slowly pulled away and took his time examining the man by her side. She spoke just as Hotep raised a hand to shake Senet’s hand. “This is your father, Senet.” For a second, Senet paused, as if unsure what to do. Then he stepped closer to Hotep and pulled him in for a hug. Hotep was quick to wrap his arms around his son. “Father.” She barely heard Senet speak. “Father. Not uncle. Father. Feels like I’ve always known.” Hotep, in turn, whispered to Senet. “My son. I’m so happy that I can say that out loud.” Jeska pulled a pregnant Elena to her side. The baby bump was hardly there but Jeska knew. Together they watched the emotional reunion of a father and his son. CHAPTER NINETEEN The platters of food on the table seemed impossibly endless to Jeska. It seemed as if there was an endless supply of food in Chac’s palace because servants kept on bringing more and more food to the table. She knew Chac’s kingdom was wealthy, but she was beginning to feel like she had underestimated its wealth. She glanced to her left when she felt a light pressure on her thigh. Hotep was smiling at her from the corner of his mouth. It still surprised her that despite all the years that had passed, his smile still affected her strongly – he still affected her entire being. She reached for his hand and gripped it. Smiling at him, she lifted his hand to her lips and kissed his palm. She liked being able to publicly display her affection for him. It was even better now that Senet knew about them and accepted their relationship. She did not know what she would do if he had not accepted them being together. She scanned the table for her son when her eyes snagged on Chac’s. He held her gaze for a few breaths before he looked down. He had obviously seen her and Hotep’s short display. He looked up at her again and she raised an eyebrow in question. As far as she was concerned, her continuous affair with him had no strings attached, just as she had warned him many times. Her heart belonged to Hotep. It did not matter that he was her bad decision and she would probably regret him sooner rather than later. She looked away from him and finally saw Senet. Elena was seated by his side, looking as radiant as ever with her baby bump barely showing. Jeska had estimated that she was about three new moons along. She had not thought it was possible for a person to look as beautiful as Elena did; it seemed pregnancy made her glow. It also helped that Jeska had prepared some herbs for her, but the herbs only did so much. Chac had his people build Jeska a small workshop within the palace walls, near a courtyard populated with colorful shrubbery and various exotic fowls, none like Jeska had ever seen. She had made many flower bouquets with the colorful flowers. She was able to experiment with different herbs and come up with new healing techniques while Hotep and Senet spent time catching up. The downside to her situation was that, because Hotep’s time was occupied with their son, Jeska found herself spending a lot of time with Chac. She could not help herself. Chac was still new to her, and he was always eager to appease and please her. The only problem with their affair was the fact that he hoped that she would choose him over Hotep. He loved her and he always claimed she was the force he wanted rather than needed to maintain his kingdom’s authoritative influence. Finally, the platters of food stopped coming and the table quieted down. Everyone waited with bated breath for King Chac to give a little speech. It was not until everyone was quiet that Chac stood up. Jeska had to respect his authority; it was awe-inspiring. It reminded her of Hotep’s military authority. “We have come to appreciate and honor two incredibly special people. They have assisted this kingdom in so many ways. Only a few people know that this woman is the reason I am here, as your King. If she had not helped me escape my captors, I am sure I would have been dead by now.” He paused, looking around the table. His eyes caught Jeska’s, but he quickly shifted his gaze. “Amenhotep and Jeska have helped us win important tribal wars against small rebelling factions, and that is more than we can say about most people from other kingdoms. For that, we are grateful.” He spoke the last sentence with his gaze fixed on her and Hotep. Somehow, he managed to glare daggers at Hotep and still maintain his smile. She could feel Hotep bristling at his glare, so she squeezed his hand in warning and support. She was also on a downward spiral to anger. It would do them no good here. “We are extremely honored to be here, King Chac. Thank you for honoring us so.” She faked a smile at him and did a significant sweep of the room. Ever since she completed her training with Hotep, it had been a habit of hers to subtly inspect her environment as thoroughly as she could in the shortest amount of time. She had inspected the room when they had first come in but even though she had not found anything amiss or suspicious, she had done three inspections since the first. She could not even begin to imagine how many inspections Hotep had carried out. “You know I don’t love you.” Jeska had always believed in stating the truth as it was. “I know that.” Chac looked resigned to her decision but she knew he would persist. “Then what are you doing?” She could not help but feel sad for him. She felt sad for herself. What problems had she put herself in? “I might not come back in a while and I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” Jeska was tired of her secret encounters with Chac. There was always the risk of them being caught by someone important to her. She still remembered the first time a female servant saw them together. Her mind had raced when Chac told her the girl was loyal to the Queen. It turned out that in the years following Jeska’s first visit, the Queen had grown to hate her, despite her absence from Chac’s kingdom. It didn’t help that during Jeska’s absence, Chac proclaimed a formal decree that Jeska is to be memorialized as his first Queen. It was the next day that she found out the servant girl had been poisoned. At first, she had thought Hotep would suspect her, but he did not even confront her. It was Chac who told Jeska days later that Elena took some herbs from her workshop, made a poison elixir and invited the girl for a drink when Hotep and Senet were away – and when she was with him. Elena confided in Chac, hoping he would protect her for protecting their affair. Chac promised Elena she was safe from any harm, and that he would never let anything hurt Jeska or her family, at least not intentionally. “I understand that you’re leaving but do you think Hotep will be able to–” She interrupted him before he could utter another word. “Do not say whatever it is you want to say. Don’t you ever say anything negative about Hotep to me or when I’m around you. That’s where I draw the line. Hotep is the man I love and that’s it.” “You’ve always been brave, Jeska.” She knew he was referring to her outburst but she did not give him a response, instead she cracked a smile and leaned in to give Chac a passionate endearing kiss – one that took him to another place where he only loved her and she loved him and nothing else mattered. Her soft and supple lips still on his, Jeska felt when he trembled and, when she pulled away, she felt his sigh against her lips. They both stared at each other for a minute, taking in their last moment together as secret lovers, each lost in their own world. Jeska let go of Chac’s hand when she turned around to walk away. She left him standing there, in her workshop on his palace grounds. Even as she walked to the chambers assigned to her, she remained alert, always poised to defend herself and those around her – such was the extent that Hotep’s training went. Hatshepsut was in the worst state Jeska had ever seen her in. Her cheeks were hollow, and she had eye bags. It was obvious that the sickness was taking a serious toll on her and Jeska could already feel fear creeping around her. As the days progressed and Hatshepsut’s condition got even worse, Jeska could feel fear wrap its cold arms around her, sending chills down her spine. It had gotten braver, no longer creeping around. She felt like she could see death if she looked close enough. Jeska did not want her friend to die. “You have to take these herbs, Hatshepsut.” She was desperate. If only she had returned to Egypt earlier. If only she had received word of Hatshepsut’s ailing health. Hotep had warned her against if onlys. They were dangerous, he had said. She could not stop them from invading her thoughts. “This is pointless, Jeska.” Hatshepsut’s voice came out as a croak; that was how weak she was. “Don’t say that!” Jeska took deep breaths to calm herself down but it was pointless. Hatshepsut did not even so much as glance at her. This had become a sort of ritual for them; Jeska would attempt to persuade Hatshepsut to take the herbs she had prepared for her and Hatshepsut would refuse, at which point Jeska would have an outburst and finally Hatshepsut would take the herbs. Despite how hopeful Jeska wanted to be, she could barely even see the effects of the herbs on Hatshepsut. “Jeska. It’s my time to go. Death has chosen me this time.” It scared her how resigned Hatshepsut was. “If you want to help me, I just need you to do a favor for me. My daughter – Senenmut’s daughter – needs your protection. All I ask is that you protect her; you and Hotep.” Hatshepsut glanced to her left. It was then that Jeska remembered that Hotep was also in the room with them. He was standing a safe distance from Hatshepsut’s bed, his hands awkwardly by his side. He nodded in response to her request and stepped closer. “I will protect your daughter with all I have, Hatshepsut. That is my promise to you.” She reached up and took his hands in hers and she looked at Jeska. “I’m insulted that you think you have to ask. Even though our friendship hasn’t been the most conventional, you’re still one of my best friends.” A sob escaped Jeska’s throat. She once had four best friends; only two were still alive, one was dying. “There’s something I have to tell you.” It was the seriousness in Hatshepsut’s voice that made Jeska apprehensive. “What? You don’t have a second child with Senenmut, do you?” She let out an awkward laughter which she immediately regretted the moment it left her mouth. Hatshepsut just looked at her, amusement all over her features. “No, Jeska. I don’t have another secret child with Senenmut.” She let out a sigh and tapped her bed. “I think you should sit for a bit.” That made Jeska scared. “What secret do you want to tell me? “Thutmose had this wife; she was a lesser wife. I never liked her. I think it was mostly because she was Hyksos.” One word snagged Jeska’s attention. “Was?” But Hatshepsut continued on as if Jeska had never uttered a single word. “She was the one – she killed Senenmut and Nekht.” Jeska was numb. The woman – she finally knew who it was. “What was her name?” She had to know. At the same time, she did not want to know anything about the woman. “Her name isn’t important.” “It is if you’ve killed her!” Jeska stood up abruptly. It felt as if a thousand insects were crawling on her body. She could not sit still. “Jeska.” She found that she hated that tone. “Don’t call my name like that, like you’re trying to placate me.” “I’m sorry. When I found out, I tried to get her executed. I was so angry. Thutmose, my brother, my husband,” she spat the last word out like it was venom, “he refused. He claimed that she was pregnant. She’s Thutmose III’s mother. I didn’t care then, and I still don’t care if she was pregnant with a thousand Thutmose III’s. I wanted that woman dead. But my darling brother kept protecting her. Maybe if I was anyone else, I would have killed him then killed her, but he was my brother before he was my husband and I loved him. I loved him, Jeska, but he still sided with the woman that killed Senenmut – our best friend, your childhood friend. It was then that I started working to bring him to the Duat. Once he died, I executed her. That was the second thing I did after I declared war on the Hyksos.” Jeska opened her mouth to speak but was interrupted by Hatshepsut. “I’m sure you think I just have this baseless hate for the Hyksos. It isn’t like that for me. Aside from that woman, I don’t think I’ve had any valid reason to hate a Hyksos. I had a vision. Isis told me that in order for Egypt to become even greater than she is, the Hyksos have to leave. Apepi had to go! Driving Apepi and the Hyksos out of Egypt would make Egypt the most powerful civilization of her time. As Pharaoh, I have to make sacrifices. It doesn’t matter that the Hyksos brought considerable contribution to Egypt. It does not matter that some of them have friends among our people. I have to obey the instructions of the gods, no matter how inconvenient.” For some reason, Jeska found that she was not shocked by Hatshepsut’s little speech. Her friend was never one to do things without a proper cause. “You know, the same thing happened to me.” And Jeska told Hatshepsut her vision. By the time she was done she had tears flowing down like a facial waterfall. “I just never expected to lose you like this. I feel so helpless. Despite the fact that I’m a ‘healer’, I can’t even figure out what’s wrong with your body.” “This isn’t your fault, Jeska. You’ve done all you can. Besides, you know the prophecy. I’m just glad that we both played our parts. Nobody can say that Hatshepsut and Jeska did not lead Egypt to greatness.” That was when the coughing started. At first, Jeska was paralyzed until she remembered herself. She ran to her bag of ointments and when she returned to the bed Hotep was holding Hatshepsut’s hand. He was seated at the edge of her bed and they were murmuring between themselves. Jeska made to adjust Hatshepsut’s pillow so that she could give her the herbs but was stopped by a shake of the other woman’s head. “I’m ready to go, Jeska. I can’t keep taking these things.” Jeska was just about to protest when Hotep spoke. “Let her go, Jeska. The woman is tired.” She was in disbelief when she faced him. “How can you even say that?” “Jeska–” “Please respect my wishes. I don’t want my daughter to see me like this. She doesn’t deserve this.” Hatshepsut looked imploringly between the both of them and it struck Jeska how Not-Hatshepsut it was. “Everything is set for my departure. Hotep, you will guide Thutmose III as Regent with Ahmose assisting you till he is ready for the throne.” It was Jeska’s turn to look imploringly at Hotep. When did he have that conversation with Hatshepsut? He simply shrugged at her, as if to say Hatshepsut and I are close friends who have conversations about Pharaoh issues without your knowledge. Jeska had prepared many bodies for funeral rituals before; many after the war. Hatshepsut’s was different for three reasons. One, this was Hatshepsut – her best friend. Two, she was Pharaoh of all of Egypt, and three, she was still in mourning. The last rites and rituals would take at least three new moons. Jeska had watched as Hatshepsut drew her last, struggling breath. The heaving sound that she had grown accustomed to hearing in the private chamber where she was watching Hatshepsut stopped the moment her friend died. Jeska was still too stunned to do anything. For a second or two, she willed herself to stay in the world where her best friend was still alive but it was impossible. “Jeska.” Hotep’s hand on her arm brought her back to reality. Hatshepsut was dead. A sob escaped her throat as the realization hit her. She felt herself crumble even as she put her hands over her mouth to muffle her wailing. Hotep tried to gather her in his arms but she had already slid to the floor, her hand reaching for Hatshepsut’s limp ones. Apparently her hand over her mouth was not enough to stifle her sobs because a palace guard opened the door to Hatshepsut’s private chamber announcing, “The Pharaoh Hatshepsut walks the Duat and is ready for preparations for the afterlife. The healer will begin the last rites as soon as she can.” With a nod of his head, Hotep dismissed the guard. He knelt beside Jeska and hugged her, her tears dampening the light hairs on his chest. “She’s gone, Hotep.” Jeska looked up at him, tears flowing freely down her face. “She’s gone and now, it’s just us two.” He gave a somber nod, his struggle to hold back his tears evident in every one of his features. “I don’t know if I can do the last rites, Hotep. I just don’t know–” “You have to, Jeska. For her, you have to. We have to honor her memory and the memories of everyone we’ve ever loved and lost.” Hotep cupped her face in his hands, his fingers wiping the tears trailing down her face. “She doesn’t trust anyone but you to do it. No one else can do it.” “I’m scared. I’m scared I may harm or hurt her somehow.” With tears on his face, Hotep smiled at Jeska and pressed his forehead to hers. “I’ll be there with you.” “You have to deal with Thutmose III; you can’t be with me and fulfill your obligation.” Jeska protested, shaking her head in disapproval. “Ahmose is there to assist me and I trust him, even though I act like I don’t. He is a great Vizier, he’ll be able to guide Thutmose III – at least while I’m helping you. Our friend and Pharaoh needs to be prepared properly for the afterlife and we’re going to make sure she is.” Jeska nodded her head in agreement and used her fingers to wipe the tears from her face. Hotep stood up, took her hand in his and lifted her to her feet. True to his words, Hotep assisted Jeska in performing the last rites necessary for Hatshepsut’s burial. The first day was surreal for them; washing a lifeless Hatshepsut. They carefully bathed her, as if she was still somewhere in that body – just sleeping. If only she were sleeping, not dead. Everything would be so much better. At one point, Hotep saw the lifeless body turn into a young princess – as she once was. He stepped away from the body, shaken to his core; the washcloth shaking in his hand until it fell to the ground where his gaze was fixed as memories attacked his brain. Jeska did not notice Hotep’s panic until a gasp escaped his lips just as the washcloth hit the floor. She ran over to him and hugged him, one of her arms around his waist, the other behind his neck. Jeska held him even as his body shook with the force of the tears that were trickling down his face to her neck where his face was buried. “I saw her as a girl. It was like she was alive and young again – all the feelings and memories of the past just hit me. It was like I never even mourned them properly, all the people we’ve lost, Jeska. Your sons, my brother, Thutmose, your parents, my parents and now Hatshepsut’s gone. I miss my brother, I miss all of us together, and it hit me – this, this pain hit me like nothing I’ve never felt before. We’re all alone, Jeska.” It occurred to Jeska then that Hotep was finally and properly mourning all he had lost; his brother, his nephews, his Pharaohs – both of them. It took approximately three new moons to complete the last rites needed to send Hatshepsut to the afterlife. As the months passed by, Jeska found that she needed Hotep’s assistance less; she had to force him to leave her side in order for him to carry out his obligations regarding the preparation of Thutmose III’s ascension to the throne. They did not yet know where they would go but they knew they were leaving. It had not taken long for Thutmose III to complete preparations for his ascension to the throne. Hotep had been present the day his marriage to Ah-Hotep, Hatshepsut’s daughter, was finalized. After Thutmose III’s ascension to the throne there had been nothing left for Jeska or Hotep in Egypt. Their story in Egypt was over so they decided to find a new place to begin again. Or maybe they would continue. The view on the ship was so peaceful that Hotep thought they could stay on the waters forever. If they never found a place they liked, they could always live on ships, sailing across oceans. Just him and Jeska. He turned as she slipped her arm around his waist. She had the laziest of smiles on her face and it was then that Hotep knew he had made the right decision for a new adventure. “Where to, Healer?” Hotep sighed with a smile, planting a kiss on Jeska’s forehead. “I’ll follow your lead, General. I’ll follow you anywhere.” Jeska rested her head on his chest, letting out a sigh of relief at the thought of finally being with Hotep until the end of her days. She tightened her grip and leaned into the hug, sighing once more when he kissed her head. EPILOGUE Silence accompanies the last of the old woman’s words. She looks around at her people. It is clear they are all taking in the story, understanding how it applies to them as individuals and as a community. She sees her daughter’s expression. It does not matter that this is not the first time she will hear of the story. The tears in her eyes still glisten in the light of the fire that slowly burn the pieces of wood in the middle of their small circle. Even in her old age, the story of the five friends still touches her deeply. Just like her daughter, it does not matter the number of times she has heard the story, all that matters are the diverse and important lessons to be learned from it. She sees someone suddenly push away from the logs to her right and walk to her. “You could have told us any story, ma. Why did you have to choose this one?” She looks up at the young man. His hands by his sides in fists shows her how upset he is by the story. He is one those boys that choose to cause problems whenever they can. She knows that her daughter will be worried by the boy’s attitude to her, so she addresses him. “You have to understand that no one will remember the ending of the story, so it does not matter. All that matters is that you learn from the story.” She looks around to see that everyone’s attention is on them – to be specific, her. “I’m sure we can all see a little bit of Jeska in ourselves. We have all been Hotep in some way or the other, in a particular period in our lives. Even the Pharaohs, Thutmose II and Hatshepsut, we can all relate to their experiences in some way. We have all wanted things that were sometimes beyond us – or at least that was how it seemed at that point in our lives. It is not the beginning of a story or the ending that makes it worthwhile; it is the people in the story that make it what it is. It is the lessons we learn from the story that make it important to us. These lessons, we have to live by them and make sure we do not make the same mistakes those people made or grow from them.” As she speaks, she looks around the small circle and stops to look at the boy standing in front of her. She is startled by the sound of a girl running around them, screaming the words “I am a warrior healer like Jeska!” Her shouts prompt other children to follow her and start shouting. “I’m the most powerful warrior healer ever! One day, I’ll fight all the bad people and set us free.” “We’ll be free! Free!” “And I’m going to be like Hotep with my own army so that I can defeat all the bad people and then we’ll be free too!” Left and right, children start talking about how they would lead their people to freedom. The old woman does not even notice when the boy that was standing in front of her leaves. She does not even notice the smile that takes up shop on her face, but she knows she is happy. This – the children running around, talking about freedom – is why she told Jeska’s story. “Do you see what you have done, Storyteller? You have poisoned the minds of these children with false hope. How are they going to go back to knowing that we are owned by these people? There is no escaping from this.” The woman sounds truly hopeless. It shocks the old woman how much hope her people have lost. Perhaps it is because she was a young girl when her people were stolen and sold on the ships of their masters. Maybe that is why she still has hope. “They will not go back to that because there is hope. I was still a child when our people were taken from our lands and sold like common goods. We did not survive being sold and put on a ship to remain as properties of these people. I will not allow that. It is better for them to have free minds than for their minds to be caged alongside their bodies. It is then that we will have a chance at freedom.” She pauses to let the impact of her words sink into the mind of the adults. “Let the children believe.” “Mama, will you continue with Senet’s story, next time?” Her daughter’s raised voice is calculated in such a way that it grabs even more attention. “Yes, of course.” She makes sure her silent smile is kept to herself. “Senet is Jeska’s son!” One of the children exclaims from his mother’s laps. “Please tell us Senet’s story!” “I will tell you all, but that would be during our next downtime.” There is no guarantee that all of them will be in the same Plantation by the next downtime, but they will survive as they always have. They will be free. She silently accepts that she might not be alive when it happens. All that matters is that she has done her part. She can rest easy now, feeling that freedom is just a future away.