Tahir Junaid

BEHAVIOR CHANGE-RELATIONSHIP LIFESTYLE ANALYSES 1. DYNAMIC The posse of behaviors sets the foundation of a person’s lifestyle. Since my early teenage I have a stubborn approach towards whatever I want or believe in. I often get short with temper when faced with challenging ideas or different perspective. My friends and family often advise me to be open for different perspective than yours but it is just not in me and I cannot help it. It is irritating and stressful for me and people around me. I am not good at all when engaged in a discourse. 2. CONSEQUENCES: The outcome has never been a positive one for me in this regard. It has caused distress and anxiety for me and people around me including my family. I even had few regrettable moments with my parents on couple of occasions due to the short temper and self-righteous behavior. The biggest challenge for me in this matter is learn to show empathy and respect to others point of view. I believe this is the best opportunity for me that being a commuter when I go back to my friends and family I would be perceived as a changed person. 3. AFFECT: I mostly do have firm stance in whatever I believe. I always used to think that I am only the right person in the room with valid opinion and thus could never fathom to perceive it other way around. This approach has got me in trouble with relating to others while expressing myself. I think others do not see me in befitting position while arguing. I have an impression of despair to prove myself as right. I feel pretty bad and stress after that situation and I often do regret it as well. 4. FORCE FIELD: A. I think the conventional and closed minded society is the key factor which are main contributors regarding my intolerance. The other factor is my ego. Assuming that I can never be wrong is the “belief” which is causing stress to me consistently. The social, traditional and cultural aspects in our society do not encourage constructive discourse at home and public places. My ego in front of friends is the biggest factor which is pushing me to maintain this behavior. I feel authority and controlling position by denying their perspective. B. Dealing with my ego problem and engaging my friends and family in respectful manner can be helpful in this regard. Maybe I should learn to compliment others, it certainly can take away me from behaving like this. I need to convince myself that being right is different from being an egoistic. 5. ACTION ALTERNATIVES: A. Talking to friends and family often Be open in society about any subjective/objective discussion Try to write what others have to say Complement each other B. I think the communication gap between me and my parents is the main reason behind the build of this insensitive and selfish behavior. Practice engaging in dialogue with friends and try to redefine what it means to be right. Take a good session of 15-30 minutes with friends for this. Consult with teacher or an expert Meet with parents daily and discuss everything and anything. If society is closed and too convention, well I am not. I should be able to engage people with regard on the topics which are shied to discuss. Need to make a commitment to myself to evolve and learn. It can only be done with listening and sharing different thoughts and ideas. Breathing exercises can provide me mental calmness; I should include listening and practicing that on daily basis. 6. FEASIBILITY: My plan is very manageable because all the resources I require are available to me and most importantly there is strong will to make it happen. My I can appoint my parents as judge to monitor the change in my behavior. I have sound control on those steps due to my will and availability of resources. So, it’s definitely going to work for me. 7. RESOURCES: I would be engaging My father and Mother My elder sister My friends Rashid and Abdul Haadi Consultant My laptop Music Pod 8. TIME LINE: My first two weeks plan would be Talking to family daily Engaging friends in dialogues at the regular basis Can share this plan whole heartedly with my sister Carry out breathing exercises I believe all of these steps I can take immediately to start with. 9. EVALUATION: It is the level of satisfaction which is the simplest method of measuring the evolution. I believe the level of distress and regret has been the main indicator for me in this regard. Moreover my parents being a judge would evaluate how good I have done. The happiness of being with family and friends is the wakeup call for me being a commuter. I do not have to judge it; I would leave that to people who I relate immensely. 10. REVISIONS: I think being open to a conservative family would be a biggest challenge for me. My sister can help in this regard as I can say anything to her since my childhood. I have to reduce that communication gap between me and parents as well.