Sekar Widya Putri

Life is An Infinite Loop of The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment I see myself as a joke since I was a child. I was a comedienne in elementary school; we won this comedy competition at school and our group was the youngest of all. I still think that our jokes were awful and not that funny but hey, we won! As I grow, my sense of humour is and still growing. Not just about awful puns but now I see the news and giggling with the stories. I read about terrorism, equality, social, languages, almost everything and then I think “God, this is so a joke, right? All these awful things and all these untrusted news. I can’t believe in anyone, this is bad. Do I have to choose a side or I can just floating everywhere I want without having any string attached? You know how I love my friends, right? You know how smart they are, right? Then, what the fuck is this?” I’m not into any religious thing since I was a kid even though my parents tried so hard to make me the way they want, you know, the kind of cute little kid who always pray to God for the parents, I just didn’t want to do that because I want a happy life and I knew that if God already wrote my life that way then why did I have to pray? If I pray for my parents, then they will be happy and what about me? So I just pray for myself and not for anyone. Yes, I am that selfish. This is the funny part. I am praying for myself every time, for my happiness, for my sanity, for my self-control, for everything, and when people find out about that, they said I am being selfish, I should pray for another important thing like family, world peace, anything other than myself. WHY? I WANT MY OWN HAPPINESS TOO! I see being happy annoyed some people. Smile, sing a song, laugh, happy, joyful, amazing, then people say bad things about happiness. Why do some people do that? The have the right to be happy too, right? Why don’t they do something that makes them feel happy? I thought happiness is contagious. God wants us to be happy too, right? Then, why being happy will get us into a hell? I feel like living in an infinite loop of The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment. God is the tester and we are the testees. God gives us booze but we can’t drink booze if we insist to drinking it we will get the sin but if we can hold ourselves, we will get the unlimited booze in heaven, pretty much like the Marshmallow Experiment, right? EXCEPT, it’s not only about the “marshmallow”, it’s about the haram list, and in heaven, there are no such thing as haram thing. Oh, the irony. If life is really an infinite loop of The Stanford Marshmallow Experiment, if I can hold my dirty mouth and fingers and make them not to say bad about other people, I can say everything I want in heaven, right? If I can, I would say a lot of awful things to my friend in front of their faces without having any fear of hell. Would it be worthy? Maybe, but for some people, just do it for your own sanity. Life is just that funny. I thank God for this brain and all the people around me even though deep inside, I really want to kill some of them and I believe most of them want me dead either. All the people want to live a happy life but living a happy life is an awful thing to do, the more we feel bad about ourselves, the more people care and they will say anything to make us happier. Isn’t it funny? https://medium.com/@Curioushitty/life-an-infinite-loop-of-the-stanford-marshmallow-experiment-a1c25ac7a9f6