Roxan Alfonso

So, you have decided to go to Switzerland, huh? And no, I don’t mean be Switzerland (any single one of us can be on neutral ground, if you know what I mean) I’m speaking, of course, of the place itself. Everybody knows you can head there in order to be free of certain lawful restrictions. If you’re nodding at this point then you know what I’m talking about. There are indeed a lot of ways to have a good time in the ol’ Swiss. You can dredge snow. Buy new winter wear. Yodel! So, onward we go. Here are five ways to have a good time in Switzerland: 1) Eating and Drinking - Because why not start with an activity literally everyone enjoys doing? And listen, there are quite a few places to grub down near the Slopes, okay. An interesting example being the Bateau Lavoir in Geneva, a 19th century former washing boat turned bar-cafe with rooftop terrace, wood burning stove, and a platform for hosting live local music. It’s also located on Lake Geneva and isn't that just damn charming? 2) Pedalos on the Lake - From one lake to another, let’s head to Zurich now. This time, you can hire speed boats, rowing boats and… pedalos? What’s a pedalo? I’m glad you asked. These adorable contraptions that look very similar to children’s toys basically are like cars on water. Sans road and gravel and weird noises. You can get one of these things and go coasting on Lake Zurich for a bit of exercise and sight seeing from the water. No more questions, just go! 3) Climb a Mountain - Okay, look, I know. I know you’re afraid of heights, Gladys, this is for your daredevil friend. Mount San Salvatore, located in Lugano, is a looming mass over half forest and rock farce and here's the thing… you can climb it! I mean, well, you can take a railway to the top but, then again I’m not a mountaineer so, it counts for me, I guess. Anyway, you can also seek out the mountain top church to take in the spectacular views. How’s that for adventure? 4) Visit a Spa? - Alright, the place isn't really called a spa but, you get it, right? But, hey, the place does offer a beautician, yoga classes, and saunas, making it quite difficult for anybody to judge me for getting confused. Seebad Enge is also all about the swimming as it right on the water because you really needed another reason to go. Also add in that it transforms into a bar/concert venue after 7 at night. Just for, you know, a little incentive. 5) It’s An Adult World After All! - Now, we reach the portion of the class where you put the kids to sleep. They asleep? Alrighty, good. Here we go: Want an erotic massage? Ever had one?? Go get one. You can find one on Massage Republic (search at their websites one of seven escorts). It is the 13th most popular female escort service in Geneva. They can give you any service - with any body part - involving massaging (including your downstairs business). So, search the website, be safe, and enjoy yourself away from the kids for a little bit. And you didn't hear it from me! Hope I helped you in any way to you having a fun, wacky time with the Swiss. Hope it’s not my fault that you don’t! I’m not a tour guide!