Rebecca Wanyonyi

How to Keep Hope Alive When Dealing with Cancer Cancer is a frightening word. The truth is, living with cancer is difficult – very difficult – and there’s no "right" way to deal with it. It’s one of the few diseases that continually eludes our attempts at a cure. Every cancer is different, and every individual has a totally different experience. Nonetheless, it’s encouraging to know that even cancer cannot shatter hope, corrode faith, or silence courage. You can find ways to deal with this life-altering situation. Here are a few nuggets of love and light that will help you keep hope alive. Acknowledge reality Nothing can prepare you for a cancer diagnosis. So how are you supposed to respond to such pain and distress? The best response is to recognize and acknowledge your circumstances. It won’t be easy, but it’s possible. They say acceptance is the first step and acceptance, in this context, means admitting the reality of your situation. Before you can change something, you must accept reality. No matter how much you wish it wasn't, this is how it is. Write down what your circumstances are and how they make you feel. Read it aloud so you can hear it. Sigh, cry, fume, rage, despair, and whine. Carve out some quiet time to breathe and let out your conflicting emotions. This is a time to be realistic, but also optimistic. See your sickness for what it is - a completely unexpected circumstance that can make you a better person - as well as what it isn’t - something that defines you or an intrinsic part of who you are. It’s okay This is a tough time. There’s a total shift in your daily life and, on top of that, you’re going through treatment and taking medication that makes you feel awful. You’re dealing with days when you feel so down that you hardly have the strength to get out of bed. You may feel like your life has lost meaning and purpose. It’s okay. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to be sad. It’s okay to be disappointed. It’s okay to be angry. It’s all okay! Take time for yourself. Rest. Lean on those who support you, but don’t give up. You’re enough You possess the strength, willpower and tenacity to conquer cancer. You’ve probably heard the expression: “You’re braver than you believe, smarter than you seem, and stronger than you think.” It’s a cliché but it’s true. Say it every day. Say it whenever you feel your strength failing. Say it until it's part of you. Make it your mantra to carry you through the day. You’ll be surprised how your affirmations will change your outlook. Finding your strength, and finding ways to exert your power in positive directions starts from within. Explore ways to see your world differently. You might write down your experiences, record your cancer journey, sing, paint... any way you can use your circumstances to venture into creative spaces is positive. Remember: any season of distress is a season of growth. Recognizing your power even when you are hurting is half the battle. Healing follows, as do resilience and growth. And those are all things worth fighting for. Make meaning Why you? Why did YOU get cancer? I recently spoke with a long-lost friend who survived a grisly road accident. She lost friends. She was the only one who survived. She wondered: why her? There was only one thing I could say that I knew was true: “Make meaning.” You will never know the "why". And in the end, it’s not important. What’s important is that you never allow your circumstance to dictate your future. You have every reason to make meaning despite the cancer. Making meaning is big and real and it’s all you can do. Once you find meaning, you find hope and direction. Outside, winter’s darkness closes in. Inside, you have found your own light. Decide You can’t control cancer but you can control how you deal with it. It all comes down to the decisions you make: you decide how you spend your time, what you read, what you learn, and how you think about your situation. You can choose to be positive when you’re feeling sorry for yourself. You can choose your words when people offer sympathy (even though they can’t possibly understand how you feel). And most of all, you can choose your thoughts. There is no doubt that cancer is horrible. But you can choose whether to see yours as a curse or a challenge. You have the power to choose. Smile Smile because you are surrounded by people who love you. Smile because, after the thunderstorm, there will always be the sun. Smile because you’re pushing yourself. Smile for those who believe in you. Smile because you are stronger than your disease. Smile because you're not quitting. Smile because you can lean on others when you're feeling weak. Smile because you’re unstoppable. Smile because you are who you are. Smile because you are a strong soul and you’re determined to shine light into this dark situation. Smile because you’re not your disease. You’re a warrior. At the end of the day, all you need is hope and strength. Hope that it will get better, and strength to hold on until it does. Sending you hope, strength, love, healing and light.