Raheem Rukayat Tolase

MOVING FORWARD “The only failure in life is not to be true to the best one knows.”​ ​Buddha To be sincere, the idea of starting to write on a topic or an idea and dropping it halfway because I feel it doesn’t make any sense didn’t just start today or last week. As a matter of fact, it started when I was very young. Back then, I used to be very curious and forward. I willingly joined associations like the drama group, literary and debating society, music, sport, and choreography group at a tender age. And I did tremendously well. Any time I remember these, I smile. Suddenly, something changed. I just realized that I stopped doing those things at some points. What happened? I have no idea. Up till this moment, I am still trying to figure out the hapless change that took over my life. What do you think happened? It is rather an unfortunate incident to unconsciously give up on the things you love at a particular stage in your life, things that when you see people do, you bite your finger and lip at the same time and regret not going after them. I am still trying to figure out what stopped me from developing those skills. Could it have been some form of negligence on my part? I am not sure. Whatever it is, I believe if I had been mentored properly, I would have thrived and developed remarkably. On the other hand, this brings me to think that even though no one noticed some of the talents I possessed (then) to help me pursue them, I believe I might have contributed to their demise. How did I do that? Through my thoughts. Back then, I see people doing things I love, but I told myself I could never be what they are. I found joy in singing, dancing, acting, writing and engaging in sport activities. I never pursued any of them further. It took me a very long time to find my way back to sports. I joined when I was in my third year in university and came out as the overall best female athlete for that year. But even that love for sport relapsed at some points. I wounded myself by focusing so much on what people would say and how they would feel. I carried their burdens on my shoulders unaware. I created horrible images of what I would look like when I finally decided to let people know who I am. A few people noticed what I was capable of, but they were as helpless as I was. And so, I suffocated the things I love to do and stifled the voice telling me to go after them. I killed those dreams ignorantly and settled. I settled for the mediocre things and ‘normal’. I felt it’s much more peaceful that way. However, it’s not. Settling just to be ‘normal’ is noisy and deafening. Settling just to feel among is disturbing and chaotic. It eats you up every time and every night you are about to sleep. For how long? For how long do you want to accept what you don’t like when you can always be happy? You can’t keep planning your life around what people will say or think, you plan it the way you want. To go after what you want, I want you to change your thoughts. I want you to apply the law of attraction as stated in Rhonda Byrne's The Secret which says 'All you require is you, and your ability to think things into being. Everything that has been invented and created throughout the history of humankind began with one thought. From that one thought, a way was made, and it manifested from the invisible into the visible.' If you keep thinking you can’t do it, then you can’t. After all, who knows you better than you? Henry Ford once said ‘Whether you think you can or you can’t, either way, you are right.’ This illustrates how powerful your thoughts are. Like all other problems in the world, this too has a solution. The solution is to be you. Do you want happiness? Be you. Do you want peace of mind? Be you. Do you cherish fulfilment? Be you. Try as much as possible to resist all negations and hurtful criticism - you can't avoid them anyway. Learn to accept that not everyone will buy into your idea. Remember it's never about them. It's always been about you and what you can do. Think positive and positivity will come to you. When you fixate your mind on negativities, it's only normal that you see more problems than solutions. One thing you need to know and remind yourself every time is that you have the power to create whatever you want in life. Out of all the creations in the world, only humans have such powers to create whatever they desire. Besides, every invention in the world started with thoughts. So, you must think you can do it. Of course, the mere thought of it won’t bring your visions alive. It's the actions targeted at the visions that will bring them alive. And how will that happen? When you keep thinking about an idea consistently, the thoughts will keep you awake and restless. Do you sleep soundly when you are famished and have no means of getting food? No! You don't. It's the same process when you want something so bad. The idea and concept you need to work on or push out to the world is hunger and to satiate it, you need to feed yourself with deliberate actions. Momentarily, you start getting drawn to the activities that need to be carried out to birth your goals and aspirations. “You only have control over three things in your life, the thoughts you think, the images you visualize, and the actions you take.”​ Jack Canfield For some individuals, they are being held back by the past. If you are one of these people, one thing you need to know is that we are all products of our past and experiences. Every single thing you are good at today is a product of your experience - what you’ve done, your mistakes and what you’ve seen. They shape and mould you into who you are today. But to move forward, you need to let go of the toxic events. Release the pains and strains that come with the past. leave them where they belong - the past. Trust, believe and have faith in yourself. No one, I repeat, no one will do it for you. You may need some people's help on your journey to achieving your goals, but you need YOU to start first. The journey isn't all that stress-free, but the stunning picture of your future will keep you going. Create how you want your future to look like and let it slide across your mind every time you are about to give up. “Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life's coming attraction."​ Albert Einstein All you need is just to train your mind to think positively. Sieve it of any iota of doubt or self-criticism and fill it with enough goodies, so it can create a perfect picture of you. See what Buddha has to say on doubt: “There is nothing more dreadful than the habit of doubt. Doubt separates people. It is a poison that disintegrates friendships and breaks up present relations. It is a thorn that irritates and hurts; it is a sword that kills.” That’s how devastating doubt can be in your life. No one is promised forever, why not make the best of life? In essence If you don't think about anything, think of happiness, health, wealth, peace of mind, then you are on your way to everlasting fulfilment in life. I have made lots of mistakes in the past myself - actions I’m not proud of. Now that I know better, I don’t want to dwell on the past. I want to move forward and make some changes in the world, no matter how small. Whatever happened in the past occurred due to some events I have no control of. The fault isn’t mine; nevertheless, it’s my responsibility to fix it and make the best use of the experiences clinched. I am willing to improve myself amazingingly and make sure the young ones around me don’t go through the same thing I went through. As for ​YOU​, yes ​YOU​, it’s never too late to start developing those skills. Don’t be too shy or feel it’s not in your place to go after everything you’ve ever wanted. As a student, do not join clubs/associations because your peers are joining them. Join only when it’s in line with your education and of course, what you love doing most. Trust me; the only zone you can find happiness now and when you grow older is a place where you love what you do for a living whether it pays well or not. Seek people who are older and more experienced than you for advice and encouragement. Make mistakes as much as possible and you will be corrected. Do not think you know it all as no one is an island of knowledge. Go out there and reveal your potential. It’s now or never! Good luck!