Rafik Boussalia

10 Useful Life Lessons to Give You a Head Start Most people seem to think that you need to have experience in order to learn how life works. While I don’t think it’s wrong, I do think that you can acquire the same amount of wisdom just by being smart enough to understand some obvious truths in life. When you think about it, the value of any experience is the lesson you get from it right ? So why not learn the lesson and at the same time avoid the time and effort needed to learn it ? I mean there are tons of people who learn the same lesson but they’re all going through similar experiences, so why should you do the same just to learn the same lesson ? It makes sesnse, doesn’t it ? Ok then, if you’re ready let’s start. 1. Experience without deep analysis is useless I’ve seen a lot of people who have plenty of experience. They’ve been to a lot of places, talked to tons of people, worked at many jobs, yet their level of thinking didn’t change at all. Why ? Because despite their experience, they never took the time to make conclusions from their trials and errors. If you compare someone who learned a lot of stuff just out of awareness, and someone who’s had plenty of experience but who lacks the proper thinking, the first one will easily be more successful in life just because the first one will avoid the mistakes even if he never experienced them, whereas the second one will keep making the same mistake because he won’t get the lesson behind it. 2. Don’t trust people too quickly I think you already know this, so just take it as a reminder. A lot of people make the mistake of trusting too fast, opening up way too quickly than they should. Well, I think the lesson is pretty obvious here, don’t do that. 3. If you wait for something to be happy you never will be I’ll be really happy when ____ fill in the blank. This is a huge mistake that most people, including me, make at some point in life. There’s this illusion the somehow, a person, an event or a material possession will suddenly make us happy. Let’s pretend it’s true for a moment, how long do you think that happiness is going to last ? Not very long I guess. You have to understand that the only way to be happy is now. Of course, I’m not asking you to just ‘be happy’ that’s just not very logical. What I’m saying is that you should stop waiting for something to be happy, that’s it. 4. Wishing for something won’t make it happen A goal without a plan is just a wish Saying you really want something or talking all day long about it won’t make it happen. This is more of a reminder than a lesson, but still, it’s useful to remember it. If you want something, make sure you take action, even if it’s minimal at first, but the important thing is to ​move, do something. 5. Not giving up actually works You’ve heard it a thousand times, you see it everywhere, and you think to yourself — that’s just bullsh*t, real life doesn’t work like that — Well, guess what ? It does. If you don’t believe me, go and read the stories of the people who are really successful nowadays, a good example is steve jobs. The main reason why people aren’t doing what they want to do is because they give up too soon, then they start blaming life as if life was a person. If you read the stories of people who are insanely successful, you’ll notice that one of their common traits is ​persistence​. Sometimes, just reading about how some of these people were living makes you wonder how they didn’t go insane. If you want something, don’t give up on it. 6. We often make excuses just to feel better We’re all guilty here. Sometimes you want to do something but you jump on the first chance you get to justify why you couldn’t do it. You know, you say you don’t have time but you watch TV for 3 hours a day. You say you don’t have the money but you can’t wait to buy the latest smartphone that you don’t need. You say it’s impossible when someone you know with half of what you have has done way better. We’re really good at making excuses and thinking about why we can’t do it. The problem with that is that ​these excuses seem real and legit ​when in fact, it’s just a way to escape the reality which is that we’re afraid to ​put in the effort and fail. ​And here everyone is different. Some are afraid of what people will say, some are afraid of wasting all that time for nothing, some are just lazy so they try to make it look as if they can’t do it. I think you get the point, even if your excuses seem real, they’re just a way to justify your inaction, so start taking action instead. 7. Social norms are bullsh*t One of the biggest and most common fears that all human beings on the planet share is the​ fear of what other people think​. Think about it, the world as you know it, and the social standards that you were conditioned to pick up were created by people who were no smarter than you, they were just born before you. Does that make it right ? Not really. If you think maybe 40 years ahead and imagine yourself 40 years older. If you look back on your life, now that you’re way older, does it matter to you what people were thinking of you when you were younger ? Did it do any good if they thought you were good or bad ? Not at all. 8. The real risk is not taking any risk Mark zuckerberg said it well, and he’s actually right. We’re always so afraid of taking risks, so we just stay in that comfort zone that we think will somehow protect us and make us feel safe. Here’s the thing : ​you’ll never feel truly good about yourself if you never take any risk. You have to stop being close minded and start considering new possibilities. Try new things even if you might fail. If you never take risks, you’ll never have anything remotely close to success. You have to try and step into the unknown, and even if you fail, there are people who were in situations that were more difficult, with fewer options, but they managed to create success because they take risks and always try to find a way out. Remember, ​no risks = no success. 9. Until now you probably never realized what you’re really capable of You know when you hear those inspirational talks and they say ‘you can do it’ and you start thinking they’re crazy or something ? Well, they’re not. Unlike what some people might say, the reality actually shows you real proof that even the average person is just average because of his own self-limitations. Our limits are self-imposed because from childhood to adulthood, we are bombarded by beliefs that aren’t ours, and we’re forced to think that that’s ‘reality’. You want an example ? Have you ever tried to tell your friends or family about a big ambition of yours ? Maybe you want to invent something, become famous, or really rich. What do you think their reaction will be ? It’s more than likely that they will make fun of you. Do you know why ? It’s because their model of reality was imposed by society, and they didn’t hesitate to take it as the absolute truth. Even if there are a lot of people who broke this common belief that we’re all meant to be ​‘normal’​ and that’s just a polite way to say ​mediocre ​by the way​,​most people still manage to find excuses like I mentioned in #6 by saying that the successful are lucky, that it’s destiny, or that they’re super talented. When you think like that, how can you possibly succeed when you think that success is related to stuff you can’t control ? The bottom line is that you can do way more than you think, and I’m saying it seriously, not just to motivate you or anything. It’s a proven fact 10. The majority isn’t always right “Wrong does not cease to be wrong because the majority share in it.” ― ​Leo Tolstoy This quote makes the point really clear. You have to understand that even if 99.99% of people believe in something, it doesn’t mean in any way that it’s right. This belief itself, the belief that if a belief is accepted by the majority then it must be true ​is widely accepted, but it has been proved to be false countless times, so it’s a great example. In fact, the majority of people is often manipulated by the media, war propaganda, ads on TV, and the list goes on. There are even more example that you’ll find in the history books. Countless inventors whose inventions have greatly revolutionized our lives were believed to be crazy and made fun of. Just do the research and you’ll find out yourself. “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).” ― ​Mark Twain These are some of the most important life lessons you should learn. Pick up all of them and you’ll have an edge over everyone else, plus you’ll save yourself a lot of time and effort.