Bird Watching article, AP style, nature writing
BEFORE
All changes are in red text and highlighted. AP Style used.
Several warm months later, something prompted a beginning-to-end review of the yellowed pages of my life list
which clearly has an October 12, 1980 entry for a Tufted tufted Duckduck! It was viewed on a pond in Dunsapie
Loch, Holyrood Park, Edinburgh, Scotland. While touring on free time then, and using binoculars plus U.K. pocket
guides (Beazley’s and Observer’s, 1977) the Tufted tufted Duck duck was 1 one of 7 seven new birds seen that day, .
and It was 1 one of 26 total new birds listed during my three-month North Atlantic deployment on a U.S. Navy
destroyer escort. This North Atlantic “cruise” included one 27 27-dayconsecutive day underway period. Birding was
a welcomed welcome relief from the shipboard 24/7 routine. Some of the new birds were pelagic, seen only at sea,
while a few were land birds that put down on the ship’s deck in exhaustion over expanses of water during fall
migration. The ship’s Cold War mission was anti-submarine warfare. Among her the ship’s features waswere a 29.5ton sonar mounted on the bow below the water line, and a retrievable variable depth, fish fish-shaped, freezer
freezer-sized sonar, ; let out on cable from a stern compartment for searching below deep temperature stratified sea
water layers while underway below deep temperature stratified sea water layers.
AFTER
Several warm months later, something prompted a beginning-to-end review of the yellowed pages of my life list
which has an October 12, 1980 entry for a tufted duck! It was viewed on a pond in Dunsapie Loch, Holyrood Park,
Edinburgh, Scotland. While touring on free time then, and using binoculars plus U.K. pocket guides (Beazley’s and
Observer’s) the tufted duck was one of seven new birds seen that day. It was one of 26 total new birds listed during
my three-month North Atlantic deployment on a U.S. Navy destroyer escort. This North Atlantic “cruise” included
one 27-day underway period. Birding was a welcome relief from the shipboard routine. Some of the new birds were
pelagic, seen only at sea, while a few were land birds that put down on the ship’s deck in exhaustion over expanses
of water during fall migration. The ship’s Cold War mission was anti-submarine warfare. Among the ship’s features
were a 29.5-ton sonar mounted on the bow below the water line, and a retrievable variable depth, fish-shaped,
freezer-sized sonar let out on cable from a stern compartment for searching below deep temperature stratified sea
water layers while underway.