Lauren K Forte

Don’t Fear the Mirror: Ways of Accep ng Your Reflec on When looking in the mirror, do you see yourself as the human pear? Do chipmunks have more defined cheeks? Do you wish your stomach was as flat and as solid as a piece of plywood? We all can relate to the self-scru ny, the wishing and the hoping and the effort in trying to strive for what we believe to be beau ful. We find ourselves looking for what needs to be changed. We are the hardest shells to crack. Looking at yourself in the mirror, saying or thinking something nega ve becomes a habit. We are prone to those judgments. The mirror can be compared to as a scanning device: it analyzes and determines. A loved one will ques on what we see, insist that we are beau ful. Their affirma ons can only go so far since they are biased. It takes courage and will power to believe those affirma ons. Looking at ourselves from certain angles, you may not see your stomach as a gigan c cream puff or see your legs as tree stumps. We can avoid certain angles all day, all night, all week. We can rely on those preferred angles for a year straight if we choose to, only that disregards the truth: the en re package is what regulates self-acceptance. Do You Like What You See? Go Ahead, Keep Staring There is no right or wrong way to do this. You can do it fully clothed, barely clothed, no clothes at all; a full-length mirror is not required, all you need to do is stare at yourself in a mirror and shine the proverbial spotlight on the physical a ributes you like the best. Hair, lips, nose, thighs, whatever they may be, iden fy and remind yourself that they are appealing. The longer you stand there staring, other parts of you may become apparent. You may even no ce what certain loved ones are saying. Remind Yourself That You Are a Good Person Name off your accomplishments. What you are most proud of? Reflect on the mes when you lent out a helping hand, bring back those rewarding moments. When nega vity seeps in, it creates a pile, and the more we rely on the nega ve, the heavier that pile gets. Think about how nice it is to breathe, the advantage of mobility. The more you recognize the posi ve aspects of your life, a different reflec on will blossom. Keep yourself from falling into that nega vity trap. Take the me out of your day to reflect on the good things you have done. Smile Upon Arrival When approaching the mirror, grace yourself with a smile, even if it hurts a li le. Give the kind of smile you would when taking a picture with your friends or remember back to a deligh ul moment in your life. See yourself as the rest of the world does when happy. Be Thankful You know that comparison and contrast game? You know what it really is? It is a superficial, self-inflic ng mechanism that only keeps us down. Do you really want to stay there? Then try to get out of it. Take the me to realize what you are so lucky to have. Look at the bigger picture, be honest with yourself. Gra tude is beau ful and bright; it breaks through the dark burrow that nega vity creates. Start apprecia ng what you have and what you have worked so hard for. Once reality sinks in, the world will become less harsh. You will see that the universe is not always out to get you. Get a Li le Exercise in Your Life Not a fitness guru? Not one for the self-consciousness of a gym? No worries, this is not a tes monial, merely a sugges on. Soaking up the sun is a good thing. We all can agree that a breath of fresh air does wonders. Nature has a way of clearing the mind. Some mes, blaring music and blowing off some steam is therapeu c. You do not have to power walk, a basic stroll around the block will do. Walking gives you me to think, it allows you to exercise the mind as much as the body. Admit it, you feel be er once those limbs have been worked. Even a five-minute walk can take the stress away as well as reignite your confidence. While the energy is s ll high, sweaty and all, step in front of the mirror and take a good look at yourself. Is the sight be er than it was before? Forgive Your Past Blame o en follows a wrongdoing, and there is no way of knowing how long that blame lasts for. Where does that get us? Nowhere. Those wrong doings become constant reminders and we are the ins gators. There is no other way around it, people have hurt you, they have le you ques oning yourself. Your confidence may only be so high. Fact of the ma er is, we cannot turn back the hands of me nor can we change our pasts. The only way to move forward is to forgive, even if you are the only one who knows. You will never forget, for the experience is part of you. But you can forgive. Stand in front of the mirror and think about that one person and the situa on that happened. Say it aloud or to yourself, “I forgive you.” You may find the words to be powerful. Once you have forgiven the ones who have crossed you, you will then be able to forgive yourself and all you believe to lack. Forgiveness is one of the hardest realiza ons we face, especially forgiving ourselves. A er all, we have put ourselves down for far too long. We must learn to let go. We must not go on believing we are the human pear or the human cream puff. We must try to peel away the nega vity. We must seriously try to believe what we are worth. One day you will see you are remarkable just the way we are.