Latina Lewis

Managing Difficult Stakeholders Without Losing Your Peace How to stay grounded, get results, and still have something left for yourself. LL by Latina Lewis Welcome & Framing Welcome to an honest, real-world conversation tailored for Black women in project management. This is a judgment-free zone where shared experiences and practical solutions matter. Icebreaker Poll: "What type of stakeholder challenges you the most?" A. The disappearing executive B. The passive-aggressive peer C. The micromanaging sponsor D. The resistant SME E. The know-it-all team member What's Behind the Behavior? Overview of the core drivers of difficult stakeholder behavior: Fear Fear of failure, exposure, change Ego Need for validation, power trips, status protection Control Discomfort with ambiguity, resistance to power shifts Anecdote: "He wasn't unresponsive because he hated my project4he was terrified of being found out as unprepared." Before We Talk About Them 3 Let's Talk About Us Framing: You can't control others, but you can lead the room with intention. Mindset You're the strategic lead, Disposition Confident, poised, grounded. Preparation Anticipate resistance and have facts and fallback plans ready. Energy Protection Acknowledge the emotional labor of being "the only." Create a personal pre-meeting ritual. Prompt: "What's one shift in how you show up that would serve you better?" Common Difficult Stakeholders Quick preview of the five types: The Ghost The Bypass Queen/King The Bulldozer The Saboteur The Over-Talker The Ghost Description Vanishes when decisions are due. How to Spot Misses meetings, noncommittal responses, vague follow-ups. How to Handle Use time-boxed decisions and document next steps. Example Stakeholder fails to respond to decision request. You say: "Per project timeline, I will proceed with Option A if no feedback by Friday 3pm." The Bulldozer Description Pushes their agenda, dominates discussion. How to Spot Interrupts others, imposes ideas without collaboration. How to Handle Redirect and ground discussion in structure. Example They try to expand scope mid-meeting. You respond: "Thanks for that input. Let's park it and revisit once we've finalized the current milestone. We're here to decide X today." The Saboteur Description Appears cooperative but stalls behind the scenes. How to Spot Constant delays, says yes but delivers nothing. How to Handle Secure written commitments, use clear deadlines. Example They verbally agree to provide metrics. You follow up: "Just confirming you'll provide the metrics by Thursday EOD so we stay on track for Monday's report delivery." The Over-Talker Description Dominates meetings, derails agenda How to Spot Speaks in long tangents, interrupts often Example They begin monopolizing the meeting. You step in: "We're at time for this section. Let's finish reviewing the dashboard so everyone gets a voice today." How to Handle Use timeboxing and direct redirection The Bypass Queen/King Description Undermines your authority, escalates or acts without you How to Spot Excludes you from key decisions, goes around chain of command How to Handle Re-anchor the team in roles and project scope Example They forward scope changes to your sponsor. You respond: "Just flagging this change wasn't reviewed with the team. Let's align with the project charter before moving forward." Which Stakeholder Type Pulls You Off Center? Reflection Questions Which stakeholder drains me the most? What do they activate in me? (Perfectionism, silence, over-explaining, etc.) Journal or small group share. Action Step Invite them to choose a strategy to use with that type moving forward. When It's Time to Elevate the Conversation Sometimes, your strategies won't be enough4and that's not failure, that's leadership. Signs it's time to escalate: Repeated sabotage or obstruction despite attempts to address. Ethical or compliance concerns. Stakeholder behavior threatening project success or team well-being. How to escalate: Be factual, not emotional. Document everything. Loop in your sponsor or leadership with a clear summary and proposed resolution. Your Peace is a Leadership Strategy Final takeaway: You are not difficult for having standards. You are strategic for protecting your peace. Call to action: 1 Name one tool or tactic you will try this month. 2 Share wins/challenges in the group. 3 Open invitation for follow-up or practice sessions.