Khurram Baig

The Locker Room A Biblically-Based Transformational Coaching Program. For Individual Coaching Participant’s Manual Updated: 2023 God Morning LLC Copyright 2010, All rights reserved. The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Table of Contents Welcome! _________________________________________________________________ 5 The Locker Room: Areas of Transformation. ______________________________________ 6 The Locker Room: Program Description _________________________________________ 7 Section 1: Community and Transformation_______________________________________ 8 Preparation for Your Coaching Call ______________________________________________ 8 Transformation ____________________________________________________________________ 8 Newness _________________________________________________________________________ 8 The Provision of Community __________________________________________________________ 9 Listening to Conversations __________________________________________________________ 10 Engaging Your Locker Room Community ________________________________________________ 10 Creating a Place for Community to Operate______________________________________________ 11 The Locker Room Coaching Agreement Letter_____________________________________ 13 Section 1 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 14 Section 1 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 17 Section 2: Vision ___________________________________________________________ 20 Preparation for Your Coaching Call _____________________________________________ 20 Clarifying Vision __________________________________________________________ 20 Becoming a New Vision _____________________________________________________ 21 Section 2 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 23 Section 2 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 26 Section 3: Current Reality ____________________________________________________ 28 Preparation for Your Coaching Call _____________________________________________ 28 Piercing the Fog___________________________________________________________ 29 Reality as a Compass _______________________________________________________ 29 Giving Up Your Right to be Right ______________________________________________ 30 Avoiding Current Reality ____________________________________________________ 30 God Morning LLC. 2 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Discovering More Current Reality _____________________________________________ 31 Section 3 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 32 Section 3 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 35 Section 4: Forgiveness ______________________________________________________ 38 Preparation for Your Coaching Call _____________________________________________ 38 A Clearing For Your Vision ___________________________________________________ 38 Searching Your Heart for Unforgiveness _________________________________________ 39 Distinctions Around Forgiveness ______________________________________________ 39 Forgiving Others __________________________________________________________ 41 Asking for Forgiveness______________________________________________________ 42 Promises Broken to Self_____________________________________________________ 42 Be Your Word ____________________________________________________________ 43 Section 4 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 44 Section 4 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 47 Section 5: Conversations for Action ____________________________________________ 50 Preparation for Your Coaching Call _____________________________________________ 50 Defining Declaration _______________________________________________________ 50 Requests and Promises _____________________________________________________ 51 Requests ________________________________________________________________ 51 Promises ________________________________________________________________ 52 Being Accountable_________________________________________________________ 53 Section 5 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 55 Section 5 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 58 Section 6: Staying in the Game _______________________________________________ 60 Preparation for Your Coaching Call _____________________________________________ 60 Grace to Glory ____________________________________________________________ 60 God Morning LLC. 3 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual The Tension of Intentionality _________________________________________________ 60 Sacrifice vs. Regret ________________________________________________________ 61 Resourcing ______________________________________________________________ 62 Section 6 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 64 Section 6 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 67 Section 7: Finishing Well_____________________________________________________ 69 Preparation for Your Coaching Call _____________________________________________ 69 Completing Unfinished Business ______________________________________________ 69 Appreciation _____________________________________________________________ 70 “What’s Next” Conversation _________________________________________________ 70 Closing Words ____________________________________________________________ 71 Section 7 Journaling: _______________________________________________________ 72 Section 7 Homework: ______________________________________________________ 75 Appendices _______________________________________________________________ 78 Appendix A: The Locker Room Calendar _________________________________________ 79 Appendix B: Glossary_______________________________________________________ 80 Appendix C: Book List for Further Reading _______________________________________ 85 Appendix D: Scripture Text___________________________________________________ 86 Section 1: Community and Transformation ______________________________________________ 86 Section 2: Vision __________________________________________________________________ 87 Section 3: Current Reality ___________________________________________________________ 88 Section 4: Forgiveness______________________________________________________________ 89 Section 5: Conversations for Action ____________________________________________________ 91 Section 6: Staying in the Game _______________________________________________________ 93 Section 7: Finishing Well ____________________________________________________________ 95 Appendix E: Additional Journal Pages___________________________________________ 97 God Morning LLC. 4 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Welcome! Welcome Participant, Congratulations on taking this step in your life towards a powerful vision and an enduring legacy for others! The Locker Room has been designed to support you in creating the future you desire by providing structure, community, and accountability. Working through The Locker Room, you’ll have the opportunity to create a new future in a supportive environment, testing out new behaviors, actions and attitudes. This manual is a part of the support structure that has been designed for you. You will note that the manual is divided into sequential sections, with two parts for each section. The first part is reading, designed to be completed before each coaching call. The reading is designed to set the stage for the distinction to be focused on for that area of coaching. Use the Personal Journal pages to jot down reflections, thoughts and discoveries that you have during the reading. Completing the reading and the journaling prior to the call will provide a foundation to create maximum value during the coaching call. The second part of each section is for homework. It is designed to be completed and emailed to your coach prior to your next personal coaching call. These questions build from the reading and previous coaching calls, allowing you to put into action the distinctions that move you forward toward your vision and commitments. These questions will be a perfect place to begin discussion on your next personal coaching call. The Locker Room also contains an appendix section that includes a glossary, a list of suggested readings, a list of scriptures that are referenced throughout the participant’s manual and extra journal pages. You will also find a blank calendar on which you can fill in all the dates of your personal coaching calls, as well as any other commitments that you make during your coaching. Both your coach and your manual are tremendous resources for you during this session of coaching. Commit to yourself to participate fully, leveraging these and other resources you discover to propel yourself into the future you desire. Standing with you for transformation, Your Locker Room Coach God Morning LLC. 5 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual The Locker Room: Areas of Transformation. Section 1: Community and Transformation Section 2: Vision Section 3: Current Reality Section 4: Forgiveness Section 5: Conversations for Action Section 6: Staying in the Game Section 7: Finishing Well God Morning LLC. 6 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual The Locker Room: Program Description The Locker Room is an end to end coaching program to support you as an individual in living transformationally as a lifestyle. In The Locker Room, we focus on particular practices and distinctions that produce the possibility of transformation and dramatic results in your life. The Locker Room is designed to support you in producing specific results in your life over a specific coaching period. Each week you will have material to read and consider on a specific topic. Refer to The Locker Room Workbook for the readings, questions, and journaling. You will also receive individual coaching calls to support you in implementation and progress towards the successful completion of your stated purpose for participating in The Locker Room. The objective of The Locker Room is to provide an opportunity for you to focus on measurable goals and apply biblically grounded disciplines in order to achieve excellence and unprecedented growth with accountability and support. God Morning LLC. 7 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 1: Community and Transformation Preparation for Your Coaching Call “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will.” -Romans 12:2 (NKJV) Transformation You are about to embark on a grand adventure! This adventure will be one oftransformation. When we say “transformation”, we mean taking a radical leap in your life in an area that is important to you. Transformation indicates a substantive change in character. Transformation means brand new. It means generating a new experience, results and vision that are not based or justified by some historical precedent. Transformation meansdiscovering new resource and provision that perhaps you didn’t realize existed. Transformation calls you into a realm of flexibility and fluidity that creates power and reveals resource. Transformational coaching is a relationship for engaging the core issues of your life and to be together in a way that produces momentous breakthroughs in your quality of life and the impact you have on others. Transformational coaching is not directed at the usual outcomes that psychology, philosophy, anthropology, sociology or other sciences are concerned with, such as answers, solutions, recipes, formulas and prescriptions. It is like a compass to assist you in explaining a future worth having. The foundation of transformational coaching is inquiry. Inquiring is a way of interrupting the “way it is” to discover what possibilities lie beyond our immediate perception. It is having faith enough to wonder. And this wondering is an invitation to extravagantly imagine what is possible. New ness This is an opportunity to stand outside the drift of the world and culture in which we live and generate genuine newness in your life and relationships. God’s reign invokes newness: new God Morning LLC. 8 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual creation, new covenant, new self, new heart, new heaven, new earth, new song, new name, and a new story. His desire is to make everything new. You will have the opportunity to embrace this newness within the framework ofcommunity. Many coaching programs are built on a personal growth model, which is very different than transformational coaching. Transformation means “never before seen”. Set your sights on transformation, not just personal growth. Think new instead of more, better, and different. Think quantum instead of incremental. Think vision, co mmitment, and promise rather than what is possible based on your past history and experience. Think of your identity as fluid rather than fixed. Think about ongoing conversation and interpretatio n rather than being fixed and positioned about “the way it is.” The Provision of Community Matthew 18:19-20 says, “Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." God presences Himself in a community which comes together in His name. Your coaching doesn’t happen in a vacuum. Who you are will affect others in your community at home, at work, and in your ministry. What a powerful resource relationship and community is! During your time on this Calling, you will have an opportunity to discover that reality anew. This is an opportunity to have a fresh and new experience with those around you. Be open to listen, experience, and learn from others, as well as from your coach. Think about what areas in your life are “up for you” right now. What areas do you have the strongest desire to transform? To reinvent? To recreate? God’s plan is about newness. So, what newness in your life do you long for? Where do you desire to take dramatic new ground in your life? As you gain clarity regarding this, The Locker Room will provide you an opportunity to bring your vision to pass--to see it happen in real time. God’s greatest work happens in community. Standing with others in love generates a synergy that is illuminating and powerful. In community, there is a wealth of resources to be given and received. In community, our commitment can find accountability and, as a result, gain more traction and impact. When members of a community are willing to stand authentically with each other, God Morning LLC. 9 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual consistently investigating “what is” for the purpose of discovering resource for “what can be”, reality is uncovered and freedom is generated. Community and commitment provide a fruitful environment for transformation to occur. Listening to Conversations One of the key elements of being connected in community is being aware of your listening. Listening to others opens the door to creating relationship and understanding of what is needed and wanted. Attentive and generous listening will allow you to provide insightful and loving feedback to those who are in your community. Listening to others with openness also allows you to be able to receive feedback and others’ perspective, creating a possibility for shifting beliefs and behaviors. Another key is listening to your internal conversation—your self-talk, your inner voice, your internal committee, etc. We all “live in” various internal conversations that are basically automatic and continually playing in our heads, as if we have somewhere along the line decided that these conversations are “the way it is”, as if they are a fact or absolute truth. So, this is going to be a powerful opportunity for you to tune your listening to the conversations you tend to live in. As you begin to notice more clearly the conversations you entertain, you will then have an opportunity to consider whether those conversations open up opportunities in alignment with your vision, or close down opportunities. You will have continual opportunities to consider how these conversations reveal limiting beliefs or empowering beliefs. This listening-based discovery process is a powerful support in discovering “what you don’t know that you don’t know”. It is also a discipline and practice that is at the heart of transformational living. This Calling is going to be an opportunity to adopt a learning stance---maintaining a beginner’s mind. This creates a foundation for curiosity and wonder rather than resistance. It leads to fruitful inquiry and open listening. As you move through this adventure, notice your attitude and ask yourself whether it is opening up or closing down opportunities. Living in inquiry is a way of relating to what you are noticing, rather than some technique. It is a way of being. Engaging Your Locker Room Community God Morning LLC. 10 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual The Locker Room will be an opportunity for you to reinvent what you see as possible in community. Soren Kierkegaard, the nineteenth century Danish philosopher, wrote, “Wanting to hide in the crowd, to be a little fraction of the group instead of being an individual, is the most corrupt of all escapes. Granted, it will make life easier, but it will do so by making it more thoughtless.” This will be an opportunity for you to step out and engage as an individual, courageously giving the gift God has made you to be for others. The Locker Room is a time for action rather than aesthetic reflection. Aesthetic reflection is generally concerned with the appearance of something or how it looks on the surface and may not necessarily entail deep and committed action beneath the surface. You will have an opportunity with your Calling Coach to be encouraged, challenged, and inspired towards accomplishing your declared vision and commitments. Dr. Walter Brueggemann, the Old Testament scholar and author, writes, “When we socialize with one another for aesthetic benefits, we are naturally appalled by the idea that our lives were meant for more than just our personal comfort and enjoyment.” This will be an opportunity to be real with yourself, to interrupt living on the surface and to reach beyond your own comfort level and step out in faith. Creating a Place for Community to Operate We have some practical “rules of the game” for the time we are together. These are designed to enhance our experience. Here are some of the “rules of the game” to which you will be asked to agree: - Attend each coaching call and be on time - Maintain confidentiality of others’ experiences that are shared during the calls - Read the assigned materials and distinctions prior to each coaching session - Complete the assigned questions and activities - Participate fully In preparation for your first coaching call, start thinking about the specific situation or situations in your life you are committed to address in this Calling process. It could be a relationship, a project, something related to your health, work, family, church, or other organization. Think about what specific results you desire to produce in this situation. Think of something that is really important to you, that will make a big difference in your life, if you accomplish it. Go for it! Stretch! Interrupt the temptation to play it safe. This is an opportunity to create a new future. Start honing down what it is you want to address in this Calling process. God Morning LLC. 11 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual We will be discussing this in your individual coaching call this week. Use the Personal Journal section to capture your thoughts, ideas, and questions for your upcoming coaching call. Welcome to The Locker Room - your transformational adventure begins! God Morning LLC. 12 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual The Locker Room Coaching Agreement Letter As a requirement of The Locker Room Coaching Program, sign this page as your agreement to: - Attend each coaching call and be on time - Maintain confidentiality of others’ experiences that are shared during the calls - Read the assigned materials and distinctions prior to each coaching session - Complete the assigned questions and activities - Participate fully Your Name (printed): Signature: Date: When completed, please email your coach a copy of your agreement. Thank you! The Locker Room God Morning LLC. 13 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 1 Journaling: (Note on personal Journaling for your Calling: Journaling is a time for you to be authentic with yourself about your thoughts, feelings, reflections, and anything you want to write down. This is your private space to get it all out and to inquire into the things you haven’t asked yourself or God before this time. This is a time to reflect and practice being new. Unlike your homework, you are not required to share your journal, and you can share your journal if you choose to. There are additional journal pages in Appendix E.) God Morning LLC. 14 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 15 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 16 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 1 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. How would you explain the difference between personal growth and transformation? 2. What would your life look like if you lived transformationally? 3. What would “newness” look like in your life? God Morning LLC. 17 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 4. What are the limiting conversations that you are committed to interrupt during this process? 5. List five judgments or assessments that you have in your life. 6. List some questions you could live in that could interrupt these judgments or assessments to create new possibilities. God Morning LLC. 18 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 7. Call at least one other person in your sphere of influence and share what you are “up to” in coaching and what you are discovering. 8. Review the agreement letter (page 9) and send a signed copy to your coach. God Morning LLC. 19 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 2: Vision Preparation for Your Coaching Call "Where there is no vision, the people perish….. " -Proverbs 29:18: (KJV) Clarifying Vision Vision generates clarity for purposeful action. Vision is more than being visionary. Being visionary can mean “always thinking about possibilities”. Pursuing a vision or having vision also includes having the character to walk a possibility all the way out, committing to follow through to completion. Consider your vision for what you want to have happen during your time on this Calling. This is a time to finalize the specifics of your vision—what it is, what steps will be needed in order to bring it to pass, what promises and requests need to be included, and what you long for in this area. Now is your opportunity to get clear about what your current reality is, to determine what is wanted and needed to move towards your declared vision and then to start walking it out, negotiating the inevitable challenges you’ll encounter along the way. Vision provides purpose and clarity for those who choose it, revealing actions that can be taken. Creating unprecedented value in life requires having faith enough to wonder. Faith is ‘imagining what isn’t,’ as ‘if it is’. Wonder is ‘a cause of astonishment, extravagant admiration or awe.’ Having faith enough to wonder is an invitation to extravagantly imagine what is possible! What distinguishes faith from fantasy? Fantasy denies or resists current reality while faith embraces it! A powerful vision includes an awareness of both the desired results as well as the ways of being that will support you most powerfully. Consider your vision for this Calling. What specifically do you want to achieve? Write that down. Look at it. Ask yourself if it is specific or general and vague. If it is still general and vague, then consider what specifics it entails and add those. Then consider the way or ways you would need to be in order to have the vision happen. What would provide the most resource and provision to propel you towards your vision? What attitude and mood will generate and catalyze the rate of motion needed to bring your vision to pass? Write these down also. God Morning LLC. 20 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Start honing down the way-of-being “new ground” you are committed to take as you embrace this process. A powerful vision always includes specifics. It provides purpose and clarity for who you choose to be and what actions you will take. The Locker Room process is not only about reaching your desired destination. It also includes the personal transformation you will experience as you grow and reinvent what you see possible along the way. Becoming a New Vision God is interested in your worship and obedience to the Calling He has given you. He fires your character through challenges and circumstances so that you are ready for His purposes for which He has created you. "For by Him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by Him and for Him. " - Colossians 1:16: (NIV) You might still be unclear as to what your vision is for this Calling. The reality is that you already have vision in many areas of your life. Perhaps you haven’t considered it in that framework but, nonetheless, the vision is there. What do you long for in your life and with others, specifically the ones in your life that mean the most to you? What do you long for, personally? What disappointments do you currently have? Where are you living in resignation or despair? These considerations are a path to discovering the vision you already have. Sometimes we think we need to stand by passively until God reveals some dramatic vision to us in an unmistakable fashion. Consider that He may have already marvelously provided all the ingredients so that you are able to discover and choose that vision for yourself. "A man’s heart plans his way, but the LORD directs his steps. " – Proverbs 16:9: (NKJV) God works with us as we take action. He expects us to move, to plan, to step out in faith. Stepping out in faith is an invitation to His direction and His presence. God Morning LLC. 21 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual If you want to discover what your current vision is, look at the relationships that you have and how you relate to yourself and others. What new relationships do you need to establish or invigorate to make your vision happen? The path to discovering what really matters to you--the vision you are most passionate about--is through your pain, struggle, and disappointment. Despair is a kind of hopelessness—the abandonment of hope. Yet hope contains the possibility of vision. Consider what you have hoped for and perhaps given up on. What do you really care about and long for? Boil it down to specifics. In your life right now, what new ground do you desire to take? What is your vision for your time spent in The Locker Room? Think about what you are committed to accomplish. Also think about your way of being that would support that possibility most powerfully. Once you are clear as to your vision, consider what the first steps are to start moving towards its fruition. Start writing this down. Make it real! Consider it, hone it, get clear on specifically what you are committed to accomplish over the next several weeks of this journey. Use your Personal Journal section to capture your thoughts, answers, and discoveries. God Morning LLC. 22 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 2 Journaling: God Morning LLC. 23 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 24 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 25 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 2 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. Write out the declaration for your vision for the next three months. 2. What specific actions are you committed to taking today, and this week, toward your declaration? Please be specific, including “by-when” dates. 3. After your personal coaching session, call two people in your sphere of influence or ministry and share your declarations. God Morning LLC. 26 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 4. What was your experience of sharing in community? God Morning LLC. 27 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 3: Current Reality Preparation for Your Coaching Call "Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. " -Lamentations 3:40 (NIV) What is your current reality? Specifically, what is your current reality with regards to the area of life that you are focusing on in this Calling? The first step towards any journey is to be clear about where you are currently. If I want to drive to Chicago and I am currently in New York, but I think I am in Los Angeles, I am going to have a very hard time getting to Chicago. The map I follow and the direction I travel will not get me to my desired destination. Knowing where I am starting is a key step in getting to where I want to be. So it will be for you as you continue on your Calling. In the verse above in Lamentations, it is helpful to understand the definitions of some key words: • Examine : to search out and inquire • Test: to examine intimately, penetrate, seek out, and search • Our w ays: the course of your life, your journey, the road • Return: to restore, turn again, bring back, and repent In I Corinthians 13:12, it says we see through a glass darkly. In The Message, Eugene Peterson translates the first part of this verse, “We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist.” In Galatians 6:4-5, it says, “Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life.” (The Message) The reality of life is that we not only do not see things clearly due to our own limited view and all the filters through which we interpret life, but we also tend to have an inflated view of how effective we are. We tend to make assumptions based on our co nscious intent. Contrast that with those in relationship with us who make assumptions based on our impact. Notice that our intentions and our impact rarely match. This creates a gap between our assumptions and their assumptions. God Morning LLC. 28 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Piercing the Fog In John 8:32, Jesus said knowing the truth will set you free. That word “know” here means “experientially know”. And the word for truth in this verse is often translated “reality.” So, what Jesus is saying is that having an experiential, interactive relationship with reality generates freedom. As you seek to know the truth, you are working to penetrate the fog of subjectivity caused by your own belief system filters through which experience life. This provides an opportunity to obtain a clearer version of what is really going on, rather than just what you think is going on. This is a powerful step towards transformation. Discovering current reality begins with becoming aware of “what is really so”. Get real. This is a time to become authentic with yourself and others. Anything else takes up too much time, money, and resource. Reality as a Compass A great truing system is to notice the results you are currently generating in your life and consider how you are contributing to them. How do they reflect your intentions, both conscious intentions and the sometimes conflicting, unconscious intentions? This reflection requires character and courage. Soren Kierkegaard wrote, “To see yourself is to die, to die to all illusions and all hypocrisy. It takes great courage to dare to look at yourself—something which can take place only in the mirror of the Word. You must want only the truth, neither vainly wish to be flattered nor self-tormentingly want be made pure devil.” Rather than resist current reality in the areas of your life where it does not line up with your stated vision, surrender to it. Not surrender like you are accepting it as the only possibility, but rather surrender as an acknowledgement of the reality you are currently in so you can notice the resource and God’s provision that are present in it. Creatively engage it, discovering a new set of options. Because we all tend to live in an inflated view of how effective we are, being in tune with feedback, and being a huge invitation for feedback with those you are with in your life is an integral part of dialing into current reality. Feedback is an essential ingredient to transformational living. And noticing feedback is more than inviting people into your life to speak to you authentically regarding your impact. It also includes being aware of and noticing the impact you are having, and considering whether that impact is in alignment with your conscious intent. Noticing impact and receiving feedback is essential in God Morning LLC. 29 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual gaining clarity regarding current reality. Listening to your listening during feedback is one of the foundational keys to transformation. Giving Up Your Right to be Right Where in your life have you decided that “it is the way it is”, and there is nothing that can be done about it? Where have you decided your assessments or judgments are true and there is no other possibility? Whenever you decide this about any situation, the possibility for learning and experiencing God’s provision afresh ceases. Being a disciple is more about determining what questions to live in than it is about knowing all the answers. Be willing to be wrong about your assessments. An assessment is a thought, feeling or assumption. It usually is something that you entertain privately, but do not say out loud. When an assessment becomes fixed and positioned (the “way it is”) then it can harden into a judgment. If you are willing to be wrong about your assessments and judgments, it opens the door to discovering “what you don’t know you don’t know” about the situation. This can lead to dramatic new knowledge and awareness that can become the fuel for radical transformation. Being willing to be wrong about your assessments is the first step to discovering something new in those areas of your life. Avoiding Current Reality A powerful way to discover where you are resisting current reality in your life is to consider what are you currently procrastinating about in your life or what is currently unfinished. Think about it. What are you currently avoiding and is currently unfinished? What are you resisting that is leading to this incompleteness? This is a powerful question to live in and stay in consideration of, not just to get a quick answer and move on, but to “marinate” in. As you identify these areas, develop a plan to complete the unfinished business that you have been resisting or avoiding. Sometimes it is necessary to tolerate ambiguity in order to allow things to play out enough to make a wise decision, as in the case when negotiating. Sometimes things play out and can be acted upon quickly. So, the key is to identify if what you are tolerating is based in patience or avoidance and procrastination. Tolerations based on avoidance generates emotions and points to unfinished business in your life, places you’re resisting taking action. Eliminating tolerances based in avoidance and procrastination are a powerful contribution to being free to pursue your vision. God Morning LLC. 30 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Discovering More Current Reality Invite people in your community, who you know and trust, to speak into your life in areas where perhaps you are blind or unaware of your current reality and impact. This can be a powerful resource for illuminating blind spots that keep you stuck. Consider feedback and notice if you are resisting it. Be willing to interrupt your resistance when you notice it. Notice your feelings and emotions as you work through this opportunity. Our feelings and emotions can often relate more to how we are relating to the current reality than the reality itself. The Apostle Paul addresses this to the church in Philippi: "So this is my prayer: that your love will flourish and that you will not only love much but well. Learn to love appropriately. You need to use your head and test your feelings so that your love is sincere and intelligent, not sentimental gush. Live a lover's life, circumspect and exemplary, a life Jesus will be proud of: bountiful in fruits from the soul, making Jesus Christ attractive to all, getting everyone involved in the glory and praise of God. " -Phil 1:9 -11 (from The Message) So test your feelings, mood and attitude as you stretch in this process and take new ground. Consider how they reflect how you are relating to your current reality. Take time to capture your thoughts and discoveries in your Personal Journal. God Morning LLC. 31 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 3 Journaling: God Morning LLC. 32 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 33 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 34 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 3 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. List at least 25 things that you are currently tolerating (based on avoidance and procrastination) with the emotion associated with each, and the unfinished business associated with that toleration. To leratio n Emo tio n Unfinished Business -. God Morning LLC. 35 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual-. 2. What do you notice about the list? Are there any patterns or themes? What are you learning about your current reality? 3. Which of these tolerations are you willing to interrupt in order for your declaration to come to pass? Highlight or circle them on your list. God Morning LLC. 36 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 4. What would be the evidence that a toleration is eliminated? 5. What specific actions will you take to address these tolerations? By when will they be completed? What will be the physical evidence that the toleration has been dealt with? To leratio n A ctio n By w hen Evidence -. 6. Call at least one person on your community and share what you have noticed. Who did you talk to? What was your experience? God Morning LLC. 37 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 4: Forgiveness Preparation for Your Coaching Call "If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. " -1 John 4:20-21 (NKJV) This section is about understanding and experiencing one of the most important aspects of achieving your vision: forgiveness. In the first three sections of The Locker Room you exercised the intentionality of creating a framework for executing your vision. First, you distinguished transformation, listening, and the power of community. Second, you declared the vision that you are committed to over the next three months. Next, you continued to boldly step forward, with purpose, into your stated future, engaging current reality. Your new vision for the future requires a new foundation to build from. When you begin to “dig in”, you will encounter a natural resistance. This is the tension of transformation existing between your stated future and your current reality. Moving through the resistance increases the space for transformation to occur. Part of that resistance may be coming from unforgiveness. A Clearing For Your Vision One of the most powerful and transformational conversations that you can live in is that of forgiveness. In fact, Jesus compels us to continually walk in a state of forgiveness (Matt 18:22) and to seek out forgiveness with our brothers first (1John 4:20-21), in advance of seeking it with our Father in Heaven (Mk 11:25-26). Forgiveness is a never-ending process. God has given us a provision for being new again through forgiveness. That newness allows us to “go again” and pursue our vision, having removed one of the barriers to making it happen. Forgiveness can be akin to continually “clearing” the environment upon which you are b uilding your vision. Imagine you had a vision to build a home in the forest. You would have to survey, clear a plot, and then dig down to lay a foundation, clearing away any obstructions. And even after your God Morning LLC. 38 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual home was built, you would have to continually work at keeping the surrounding forest from reclaiming your home. Forgiveness allows you to clear a space to build your vision. Forgiveness reconciles broken promises, both explicit or implicit, providing a means by which you intentionally keep the past from holding back or stymieing your declared future with judgments and resentments of yourself, others, situations or circumstances. Just like clearing the environment in the forest, forgiveness keeps the space clear from obstructions to your vision. It also creates an opening to reconnect with the person you forgive and reestablish a relationship with and for them. Searching Your Heart for Unforgiveness As you stretch out into something completely new, you may notice feelings of judgment or negative assessments that you hold against yourself and others. The more you challenge yourself towards an unprecedented future, the more you will notice these judgments. You may also notice feelings of resentment. Some of these may be old, familiar feelings. You will know they are real because you can feel them as emotions. They may be holding you back or keeping you stuck in the past. In this regard, your past is “grabbing you” and keeping you from moving forward in an area of your life. Emotions we feel live in the present moment yet are activated by how we hold and perceive our history. These judgments and resentments point to opportunities for forgiveness. Unforgiveness keeps you stuck in your history and closes off possibilities for yourself and others. Where do you feel slowed down or stuck in advancing your vision? Are you frustrated in not clearly knowing what direction to take? Is there someone in particular that comes to mind? With whom don’t want to have a conversation? (Ps 139:23-24) Consider that if you had “that” conversation your vision could blossom. What are your “hot buttons” that make you instantly perturbed or angry? These, too, can point to areas of unforgiveness. Let’s delve further into what forgiveness is by discussing what it is not. Distinctions Around Forgiveness The first cultural falsehood is that forgiveness is excusing an event. When you feel slighted or offended by someone and say, “That’s OK.” or “It wasn’t that bad”, you are excusing the offense. God Morning LLC. 39 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual When you secretly detest, resent, or become bitter about an event and pretend to yourself that the offense was “not that bad,” then you are harboring unforgiveness. You are betraying yourself, denying the truth of the situation. Saying “It’s OK” when you really feel it is not stacks resentment inside you. Over time, excusing offenses builds resentment. If it’s not dealt with, it will turn to bitterness and you will become, through unforgiveness, the person you hate. Bitterness is like drinking a little bit of poison everyday expecting the other person to die. But they don’t die. Instead, a piece of you dies, and it is replaced with the animosity hatched by unforgiveness. Bitterness, unchecked and unaddressed, can consume energy and spread like cancer, eventually affecting all aspects of you and your relationship with God and others. A second cultural falsehood about forgiveness is that you just need to “get over it.” “You’re taking it too seriously. Get over it!” You don’t allow yourself to inquire or even acknowledge the offense. You don’t think about it, even though you can feel it “hovering behind the curtain.” Ignoring what needs addressing falls into a category called “pretending not to know.” Pretending not to recognize unforgiveness allows it to grow in the dark. On the other hand, bringing unforgiveness into the Light allows all of Providence and community to work with you to reconcile it. You may have heard of the phrase “getting off it.” As a point of clarity, “getting off it” is completely different than “getting over it.” In “getting off it”, people take action choosing to reject the need or desire to be right about something or someone in their past. Not “getting off it” sustains a safe and often entitled “rightness” about your past. Consequently, those affected relationships remain positioned, fixed, or static and the possibilities that could come about are closed down. A third cultural falsehood is that saying “I’m sorry” is the same as forgiveness. Forgiveness is a posture of the heart. People who genuinely humble themselves and say they’re “sorry” are usually received as a person in the act of asking for forgiveness. But often, “sorry” is used as a way for the offender to avoid responsibility for the impact of their offense. God Morning LLC. 40 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Forgiving Others So how do you enter the dialog of forgiveness? Forgiveness is a choice. First acknowledge that what happened to you has indeed happened. Live in reality. Value who you are. Acknowledge the feelings of pain, fear, and betrayal that may be coming up in you, now that we are discussing this topic. Take a moment now to recall and reflect on judgments or resentments you may have about your past or others that have not been reconciled. Where are those feelings coming from? People, places, events? What conversations are you having with yourself about yourself? What conversations are you having with yourself about past or current relationships? Be authentic with yourself. Let the pain, emotions, memories come up--whatever is there. Notice what is going on and allow your body to feel the emotion, while not giving yourself over to the emotion. Journal if that helps to get in touch with the reality. Face the judgments, hurts and unforgiveness in your past from the future. Face them as the person you’re wanting to become in your Calling vision. Who do you need to become to have the future you want? You may feel that you have already dealt with unforgiveness, or you may find yourself going back to major events that you thought you had already addressed. Stay open to considering that there may be other or more subtle areas of your life where unforgiveness could have a hidden hold. If you are having difficulty in deciding to forgive, consider all that God has forgiven for your sake. Matthew 6:14 and 15 says, “For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.” If you are in touch with the forgiveness God has granted you, it becomes easier to grant this grace and mercy to others. The Latin term for forgiveness means “to send away an offense.” In order for the offense to be sent away, you must hand over to the Lord your right to revenge or retaliation. He is aware of what happened and He is a provision for forgiveness (Lev 19:18, Deut 32:35). When you “send away” unforgiveness, you release into your future all the energy that was used to sustain that mooring tethered to your past. The person or entity that you forgave is no longer fixed as if that is who they are, and you can have a new relationship with them. Forgiveness allows you to relate to the past in a new, abundant way in the now and present. You have recovered lost property for God’s work. The feelings that owned you, you now own. You have created a greater space for possibility to happen in your life. God Morning LLC. 41 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Asking for Forgiveness Forgiveness is for sinners as well as for those who were sinned against (Rm 5:8; 2Pt 3:9). Forgiveness is a two-way street. Consider those you have sinned against and how approaching them and asking them for forgiveness would not only create freedom for them, but also for you (Lk 15:7). Asking for forgiveness comes from a posture of the heart, requiring humility and often courage. The “asking” is a request that clearly bequeaths the power to the receiver, the person who was offended. They have the power to say “yes” or “no” to granting forgiveness. Asking for forgiveness is a gift to others and an opportunity to create a new possibility for your relationships. Promises Broken to Self We are always in community, and our Lord is always there where ever we go (Ps 139:7), even if only we are with ourselves. The words we speak to ourselves - our promises - do not happen in a spiritual vacuum. When we make a promise to ourselves we are also making a promise to Him. When we promise to ourselves we speak from the creation He made us into the Calling - the Vision - He gave us. When we break that promise we've made to ourselves, we breech our integrity to the Calling He gave us--the gift we are to others. But how blessed are those who have been forgiven by God. “Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit.” – Ps 32:1-2. Although there is no direct scriptural support for “self forgiveness”, consider that our holding on to “unforgiveness of ourselves” (guilt, self-condemnation or leveraging to be right), presumes the authority of God as if His forgiveness, His sacrifice on the cross, His cleansing is not enough to take care of things—that we need to continue the judgment and punishment. In essence, our lack of acceptance of God’s forgiveness and continuation of self-condemnation or “rightness” puts ourselves up as idols and diminishes community with God or others. It is up to us to relinquish our pride that holds onto guilt (in order to be right) or our self-made license to be arrogant (to know better than God) or any other contrivance that generates a payoff from self-pity or victimhood. God Morning LLC. 42 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Choose to humble yourself before Him and to choose to "go again”, accepting His forgiveness as complete. Use the opportunity to listen for why you broke a promise in the first place and make choices that will create a new outcome that supports your vision. Allow yourself space to be reconciled, to accept God's forgiveness for missing the mark that you set for yourself. Go again! Consider what broken promises you have committed against yourself. One who self-betrays is called a saboteur. Are you a saboteur of you own future? Do you break promises to yourself? If so, how? Why? Do you fear your own success and greatness? We are thrown to survival, yet God calls us to holiness. Often the greatest fear we have is that of our own power and possibility. Become aware of the subtle ways that you resist the blessings and possibilities that the Lord has meant for you (John 21:15-17). God is the initiator of forgiveness and a resource for forgiveness. (Col 2:13-14; Ps 86:5). He has made forgiveness a means to “give again” into new promises and relationships. Forgiveness provides the freedom to move forward in relationship and community to have your unprecedented future happen. Be Your Word My request for you this week, and moving forward, is that you continue to be your word, standing in your promises to make your vision happen. As you do this, notice the areas in your life that you judge yourself and others. Notice those you resist talking to in your immediate and larger community. Is there opportunity for forgiveness? Realize and feel the areas in your life where unforgiveness lives, where you hurt or you have hurt others. Become aware of any resentment that you are carrying. And then choose and walk out forgiveness. Bless others and yourself by making it real. Have the conversations you know you need to have. Forgiveness is a provision from God to get you unstuck and to reconnect to another! Use His provision. Forgiveness is a blessing and a charge from our Lord to give you freedom from your past so you can live a new, transformational future, and re-establish loving relationships and authentic community. Use your Personal Journal to capture your thoughts and discoveries. God Morning LLC. 43 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 4 Journaling: God Morning LLC. 44 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 45 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 46 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 4 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. Who Whom do you know that you need to forgive?Of whom do you need to ask forgiveness? What By When 2. What evidence in the physical universe could you look for to give you feedback that you have actually walked out forgiveness? God Morning LLC. 47 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 3. Select two people from your above list to approach for forgiveness. By when will you enter into the conversations? 4. Based on current reality, did forgiveness occur? What was evidence that it occurred? 5. Identify areas where you have broken promises with yourself. Write them down and “go to” forgiveness. What was your experience? 6. Based on current reality, what are areas in your life that you are entitled or want to be right about. Call someone who is affected by your “rightness” and participate in the “get off it” process. 7. Journal about your experience of working through forgiveness with someone. God Morning LLC. 48 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 49 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 5: Conversations for Action Preparation for Your Coaching Call "Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit." -Proverbs 18:21 (NKJV) This section is designed for you to alter your current reality by engaging in different types of new conversations so that your vision can be manifested. These are called “action conversations.” Your participation in them will give you an opportunity to practice a new way of being with others to generate the future you want. Defining Declaration A declaration is an action conversation that can generate a new future. It is a word commonly used but not well understood. When you declare, you are in fact birthing a new reality. It is true because you say it is true, and no evidence is needed. A declaration is what moves impossibility into the domain of possibility. You did this with the vision you declared for The Locker Room. You have the capability to bring a declaration into reality when you have the authority to make it happen. For instance, you can’t just sit in your prayer closet and declare that you will have $1M in your bank account and it will miraculously appear. That’s fantasy. You can, however (as an example), declare that you will have $1M in your bank account in five years by starting a new company that sells widgets. And from that point, you would re- invent yourself, your life, and your environment to make that declaration happen. When you declare, you are committing to a specific future. Declaration shapes vision. A well known and monumental example of a declaration is the American Declaration of Independence. It is a document that gave human beings unprecedented freedoms. It did not exist until the leaders of the American Revolution declared “it is so” and acted that Independence into reality. They had the authority to carry out and make true that reality. The leaders staked their fortunes and very lives on that declaration. They reordered history, essentially creating a possibility of freedom that had never existed before that point, and then they committed to that possibility on a daily basis by reorienting their conversations and resulting actions to make the Declaration of Independence a way of life and a God Morning LLC. 50 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual reality. Their declaration was an action conversation because it immediately changed how they related to each other and their future. Over time, the world changed how it related to the United States. The framers had to alter dramatically how they viewed themselves and their newly created world, or they would have failed horribly. To live out a declaration is to surrender to being transformed, not just doing a different version of your past. It is about being a new person. Declarative conversation is so powerful that it even works for negative thoughts. This is why complaining is the most destructive form of conversation to your future. Complaining is a declarative form of conversation that brings negativity into current reality. You actually start believing your own negative rants, because as human beings we want to believe what we say. And so the negative must become true. “Do not be deceived, God is not mocked; for whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (Gal 6:7 - NKJV). Have you ever wondered why bad fortune follows some people and not others? Listen to their language. Do you complain? How come? A great exercise from this point forward would be to terminate the practice of complaining. Our Lord requests us to take captive all our thoughts for his glory, to be transformed into a new being. (2 Cor 10:4-6) Listen to the language you use and its source. Notice if you start seeing different results in your life by using new language. Requests and Promi ses In order to make a declaration manifest, you get to exercise two types of action conversations: requests and promises. By using requests and promises you move from a state of possibility into reality. Requests and promises shift your current reality. Requests A request can be in the form of a question, an inquiry, or it can be a statement or invitation (Matt 4:19). The purpose for your making a request is to move closer to your desired future. A request is an invitation to others to join you in your vision, whether it is about going to see the latest movie or whether it is about investing in a company. God Morning LLC. 51 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual In making a request you are essentially enrolling others to commit themselves in some form to you, your vision, or what you’re up to. A request is a step towards embracing the power of community and potentially includes a greater appreciation of those you are in relationship with. There are key attributes that define a working request. First, the people to whom you’re making the request must have the freedom to say “yes” or “no.” Otherwise, it would be a demand on your part. Second, the person to whom you’re making a request must be aware of the import of the commitment and be able to keep their promise. The person of whom you’re requesting must have the capacity to keep their promise. If they say “yes” and you know they can’t keep their promise, then you are inviting a broken promise into your life. Furthermore, a request must have a speaker and listener. There must be specific conditions and a time limit or deadline. As a requestor, it is your responsibility to frame the request so that the listener is fully aware of that to which they are committing. To work, action conversations require you to engage relationship and test current reality, to see if the listener (and speaker if you’re giving a promise) fully understands your intention and language. We live in a highly individualized culture. While there are many upsides to this, one of the downsides of individualism is that it tends to be a disincentive to embrace the power and provision of community. One of the most neglected aspects of living transformation as a lifestyle is the power of request. Making a genuine request is an act of humility. It is a recognition and acknowledgement of the reality that we are not our own sufficiency, that God designed us for and called us to exploits that are impossible outside of the provision of community and the resource of those with whom He has blessed us to be with in relationship. Promises A promise is the second action conversation that moves possibility to reality. Like a request, a promise requires a speaker and a listener, even if it is yourself. When you say “yes” to a promise you are committing to a certain future. You are binding yourself to a set of actions and behaviors to have that future you’re committed to, even if it’s something as simple as getting to a restaurant on time through Friday’s afternoon traffic. Just as in requests, there are an infinite number of promises that you can make. There are specific, actionable conditions and time limits to signify a promise. God Morning LLC. 52 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual In a general sense a promise is a declaration written or verbal made by one person to another, which binds the person who makes it either in honor, conscience, or law to do or forbear a certain act. It is a declaration that gives the person to whom it was made a right to expect or claim the performance or forbearance of the act. Consider your current promises, specifically as it relates to your stated vision for this Calling. What commitments are you bound to? Are those promises in alignment with the future you want? Do you need to renegotiate current promises to move you toward the fruition of your Calling vision? Are you making bold requests and promises? Are you living out requests and promises in a way that requires you to transform into someone new, or is life expected, known, or boring? To live transformationally is to alter your environment, your context of life, and your way of being in a way that creates new, never before seen results. Being Accountable Continue to engage others and share the action conversations that you’re having within your community. Be accountable with them so that they can stand with you as you maintain your promises and commitments to yourself and others. Be open with your coach about what is working and what promises you’re having a difficult time keeping. Accountability with your community is from a standpoint of giving. It is about engaging each other’s reality and being in a posture of service. And if there is a broken promise, it is simply a cry for help. Stand with others to support their promises and commitments. Conversations happen in the moment, and with each conversation you can literally change the direction of your life. This is good news, since life is not a straight line. Through your action conversations you have a built-in means to adjust the direction and speed of how your vision is manifested. Each declaration, request and promise can create a new context and world for you and others. Now is another great opportunity for you to take new ground for your declared vision. Consider what action conversations you get to take today, tomorrow, and into the future to move you towards your goal at the end of your Calling. Make the bold requests and promises you know you need to make to move your vision forward and to be accountable. God Morning LLC. 53 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Take time to capture thoughts and discoveries in your Personal Journal. Use this journaling opportunity to discover what you are noticing and discovering that can propel you towards accomplishing your vision. God Morning LLC. 54 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 5 Journaling: God Morning LLC. 55 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 56 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 57 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 5 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. What promises and requests do you need to make to propel your declared vision forward? Promise o r Request To w ho m By w hen Outco me 2. Call at least one person in your community and share a few of the promises or requests from your list. 3. Make at least two requests this week to move your vision forward. What were the results of your requests? What was your experience of the process? God Morning LLC. 58 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 4. Make at least two promises this week to move your vision forward. What were the results of your promises? What was your experience of the process? 5. What are you not sharing with your Coach, that if you did share would create greater accountability and resource for you? God Morning LLC. 59 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 6: Staying in the Game Preparation for Your Coaching Call "Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. " -Galatians 6:9 (NIV) You have covered a lot of ground! This section is a provision for you to bolster your perseverance. This is a time for you to continue to consider and explore current reality, to identify what actions and conversations are still needed for you to reach your desired future. Grace to Glory Webster’s 1828 defines perseverance as “to continue in a state of grace leading finally to a state of glory.” In short, “holding in”, sustaining your commitment through perseverance moves you from grace to glory! Your commitment determines who you are and who you’ll become. It is perseverance that holds you in your commitment. It is required for achieving a goal (Heb 12:1-3). Perseverance forms and builds character as you choose to fight to sustain against all odds and naysayers, wherever resistance to achieving your vision might come (Rom 5:2b-5). Striding toward your Calling vision requires perseverance that gets you out of your comfort zone: to sacrifice and risk (James 1:2-4). What is outside your comfort zone? Consider this as a possibility: everything you truly desire and want for your life is outside your comfort zone. Think about it. If what you wanted was already in your comfort zone, you would already have it. Even the person you want to become is outside of your comfort zone. The Tension of Intentionality Pulling up your current reality to the level of your unprecedented future creates a natural tension between “what is” and “what you want.” To traverse that tension requires transformation. Our culture typically wants to pull down the vision toward the current reality, instead of living in the tension of transformation. God Morning LLC. 60 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual In other words, the vision is made small or changed once the difficulty is seen in order to decrease discomfort, thus requiring little sacrifice and risk. This is called settling--allowing something less than what you truly desire, less than what is possible for you. Settling is resignation to mediocrity. This leads to regret. Persevering through the tension of change means you pull your current reality up to your declared future--your vision. Your current reality changes into your new future, changing you along the way. This creates tension and discomfort (real or imagined), because living transformationally requires you to continually risk who you are to become the person of your future. It is a walk in faith. This is opposite to a human’s natural tendency of living. To be human is to love certainty, to be safe, to live in the middle of what we know. Of course! But this is to live small in your own mind. Everything great exists in the unknown, outside your comfort zone. It is there that you will discover new expressions of God’s calling in your life and His provision. Perseverance makes it possible to walk through that tension and all the unknowns that you might discover in the gap between current reality and your declared future. You are not alone in this adventure. You have your Locker Room community, but more importantly, God is always in partnership with you (Pr 16:9) as you stretch out into the unknown (Ps 119:105). Sacrifice vs. Regret There are two kinds of pain: The pain of regret and the pain of sacrifice. Without perseverance to “hold in” to your vision you invite regret. Regret is the sorrow of looking back at life knowing you settled for less than what you could have had, to lament the death of possibility, of a dream, because of lack of commitment and participation. On the other hand, to sacrifice is an act of giving up something you value for the sake of something that is of greater importance - your new declared vision. Your vision is a future worth living for, a legacy worth suffering for. It’s interesting to note that the Greek word for suffering and passion is the same root word. Passion makes it possible to bear the weight of creating something new. What is your passion? How does it drive your vision? What would your life look like if settling and quitting were not options for you? What resources and rewards would open up if you didn’t quit before God answered your prayers? God Morning LLC. 61 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual What kind of wealth could you create for others and yourself if when you get “up against the wall” you say to yourself, “No, I’m not quitting today!” And when tomorrow comes again, dishing up its own flavor of uncertainty and tension, you said, “I’m ‘holding in’ my vision.” This is exactly what our Lord demonstrated for us. He came down to our world and ‘held in’ His vision, for our sake, despite His human suffering. (Mark 14:35-36) Resourcing When you feel your perseverance wavering, immediately ask yourself how you are resourcing yourself for the challenge at hand. A resource is an element of provision for your future available in the present. It can be from relationships (e.g. your Locker Room team), in your environment (e.g. a place to rest) or something existing in the physical universe (e.g. this manual). It can come from a request you make. It can even come from a question that challenges your perspective of how things “should” be. Are you inquiring into how God has set resources before you. Is your view of the future big enough in your mind? Or are you complaining, blaming or justifying, or retreating to scarcity or victimhood when tension increases? If you find yourself shrinking into scarcity, be grateful for something. “In whatever you do, be thankful for what you have now” -1Thess 5:18. Are you inquiring into what’s wanted and needed for you to simply move to the next step or stage of your desired future? Are you exercising action conversations? Make a request! Take action. Move! Who could you contact right now to resource yourself? Who could you contact right now to resource yourself? What in your current environment is a resource for you? Who can you be to create possibilities for others? How are you giving into your future? Are you setting into motion the abundant causes that will produce the effects you want? Create powerful, future- oriented questions that move you forward. Are you inquiring into what’s wanted and needed for you to simply move to the next step or stage of your desired future? Are you exercising action conversations? Make a request! Take action. Move! Who could you contact right now to resource yourself? What in your current environment God Morning LLC. 62 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual is a resource for you? Who can you be to create possibilities for others? How are you giving into your future? Are you setting into motion the abundant causes that will produce the effects you want? Create powerful, future-oriented questions that move you forward. Notice if your internal conversations are scarcity conversations or abundance conversations. A scarcity conversation tends to focus on the themes that you are not enough, or others are not enough, or the situation/circumstances won’t work/aren’t enough. It can manifest itself in panic, anxiety, angst, franticness or fear. Abundance conversations focus on the current reality with full expectation that God’s provision and perfect resource are there. It walks in faith, knowing that God is good and always faithful. It is grounded in a real-world discovery, a treasure hunt of sorts, seeking what you currently don’t see but have absolute confidence will be there when needed. It is willing to continually challenge the way you think it should look in order to discover what you are currently not seeing. And it is peaceful, urgent, diligent, persevering, unalterably committed to seeing the vision come to pass. It interrupts and gives no quarter to thoughts of settling, resigning, minimizing, giving up, or excusing. Keep fighting the good fight for your vision to come to fruition. Don’t settle for “doing your best”. Do what it takes to make it happen. Lean in against the boundary of your comfort zone and press forward into the future toward a state of glory. (II Cor. 3:18) Take some time in your Personal Journal to capture your thoughts, discoveries, and action plans. God Morning LLC. 63 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 6 Journaling: God Morning LLC. 64 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 65 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 66 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 6 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. Complete a self-assessment of what is wanted and needed in order to achieve your declaration. 2. How do you stay in the game? What incentives keep you in the game? What propels you forward? 3. What sacrifice(s) do you have to make to have your declared future happen? 4. What are the provisions or resources around you (who or what)? What will it take to engage those possibilities? God Morning LLC. 67 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 5. What new resource or provision can you engage right now that you haven’t pursued yet? 6. Call at least one person in your community to engage about resourcing. God Morning LLC. 68 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 7: Finishing Well Preparation for Your Coaching Call “Well done, my good servant!”, his master replied. “ Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities. ” -Luke 19:17 (NKJV) Welcome to the last section of The Locker Room. Congratulations! Much has been done over the past several weeks. Thank you for the witness you have been for others by living in your commitment and vision during your Locker Room Coaching. Wherever you have landed in accomplishing your vision, thank yourself right now. Whatever ground you have taken, whether you exceeded what you thought was possible or if there is still more to go, thank yourself right now for what you have accomplished to this point. Without your participation, sacrifice, and willingness to stand for a new vision of your future, what you accomplished thus far would have never happened (James 1:2- 12). Today and this time is your opportunity to “finish well” what you said you were committed to accomplish. What does it mean to finish well? It simply means doing what it takes to see the vision through to the end, to the finish line. Secondly, it means appreciating others who have been a support to you. Finally, finishing well means re-orienting yourself again to begin moving toward what’s next in your life. Completing Unfinished Business As you’ve discovered, perhaps in a more acute way, life is a process and not a straight line. It’s totally unexpected. If you have reached your declared future for this Calling, then I challenge you to go even further. There is still time to “go further.” And if you are finding yourself somewhere else in the process, continue to strive and move forward. There is also still time to “go again.” There is plenty of time to complete the business of finishing well to reach your vision. The first step is to take care of unfinished business. This means tying up loose ends and taking the necessary actions required to complete the details of what’s wanted and needed for your vision to come to fruition. God Morning LLC. 69 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual How can you be with others in a way that they can have their commitment turn out? Are you giving in a way that creates resource for them? What promises and requests can you make today to move your declaration to completion? What unfinished business can you see that if you completed it today would bring you closer to the finish line? What resource don’t you see that if you did could be the keystone? Are you persevering in your commitment? Continue to open up possibilities with future oriented questions. Have the conversation you need to have this week with your coach so that you can be propelled to the finish line (2 Cor 8:11). Appreciation During this section’s coaching, you’ll have an opportunity to celebrate in a special way. You will have the chance to appreciate your coach and others, and to review all the ground you have taken. It is no accident that you came to coaching at this point in time and no accident you have the coach you have. You have shared your life with other members of your community in a profound way, inviting others into insights, struggles and rich truths about who you are as you walked out your commitment. You have influenced the future of everyone you’ve engaged, and you too have been influenced. Consider this week how you have sown into others and how others have sown into you. And consider that receiving someone’s appreciation is actually a gift to them and also a gift to yourself. (1Cor 12:26) How were you affected by others? How did you affect others? Jot down some thoughts in your Personal Journal. “What’s Next” Conversation Over these many weeks you’ve learned some key and fundamental distinctions and ways of walking in a transformational life-style. If that is true for you, then you’ve learned what it means to declare a vision, to declare a reality into existence, and to commit yourself to making that future reality happen in community. You’ve also learned to practice action conversations, to make the requests and promises required to have your vision turn out, and to ask for the support and help from those who would stand with you in your vision. You’ve learned to take responsibility for your life in a new way, to have difficult God Morning LLC. 70 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual conversations, and looking for and requesting what’s wanted and needed to have your new future turn out. You’ve also learned to create space for your future by walking out forgiveness--freedom from the past--and by choosing to have the difficult conversations with yourself and others. Closing Words God has a plan and you’re part of it. You are a unique gift that can bless the world in the way that God has designed you to be. The Locker Room is a platform, a foundation for you to continually design the new life you desire through a set of transformational disciplines that allow you to reach towards your unprecedented future. Continue to inquire into what’s possible over these next months. You have your community and your coach as a resource. Ask yourself, “How do I continue to build a transformational lifestyle?” Finishing well includes creating a plan for your future. Ask, “What is next for me? Who do I get to be to have that happen? What requests and relationships do I get to create to continue my designed future? How can my ministry and life bless others?” (Acts 20:24). Continue your Calling into loving God and others in a completely new and transformative way, each and every day! Use your Personal Journal to begin creating a new plan for the next chapter of your life. God Morning LLC. 71 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 7 Journaling: God Morning LLC. 72 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 73 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 74 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Section 7 Homework: Complete Before Your Personal Coaching Call To support you in your Calling, the following homework is to be completed prior to your scheduled personal coaching call. Complete your Calling homework below and email the pages to your coach at least one day prior to your scheduled call. Refer to Appendix A for a calendar of your scheduled call dates. 1. Write your action plan for completing your Calling and accomplishing the remainder of your vision over the next week. 2. What are key discoveries and what have you learned over the past weeks on The Locker Room? 3. Write at least ½ page of what actions you will take next after completing this Calling. God Morning LLC. 75 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 4. Write out a list of all the successes you have experienced during The Locker Room. God Morning LLC. 76 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 5. Write out at least twelve things that you are grateful for-. Prepare questions that you may have for your coach on your personal coaching call. God Morning LLC. 77 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Appendices Appendix A: The Locker Room Calendar Appendix B: Glossary Appendix C: Book List for Further Reading Appendix D: Scripture Texts Appendix E: Additional Journal Pages God Morning LLC. 78 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Appendix A: The Locker Room Calendar Use this calendar to keep track of your coaching calls and assignments. You can also keep track of your “by when” commitments for various actions you are taking throughout your coaching. M o nday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday F riday Saturday Sunday - God Morning LLC. 79 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Appendix B: Glossary Note: These definitions are in context with how these words are used in The Locker Room. Sourced from: Scripture; Webster’s 1828 and 1970 Dictionary; Oxford English Dictionary. Term Abundance Definitio n • “Overflow of Resources” • Ample sufficiency • Great plenty • Overflowing quality Accountability • “Standing Responsibly For” (Your actions) • The state of being liable to answer for one’s conduct (behavior) • Liability; to give account and to receive reward or punishment for actions • The act of answering for in a responsible character Action • “Movement Willed Forward” (Taking action) • Driving; state of acting or moving; exertion of power or force • Effect of power exerted on one body by another • Motion produced by the will of a living being Appreciation • “Gifting Gratitude” (to someone) • The recognition and enjoyment of the good qualities of someone or something • Sensitive understanding of value • Setting or declaring value upon Assessment • “To Make a Valuation” (of someone) • To valuate relationship • To evaluate, judge, rate, appraise, opinion of person or property Celebration • “Displaying Thankfulness” • Action of marking one's pleasure at an important event • Distinguishing of solemn rights or passages • Praise; renown; honor or distinction bestowed Character • “Exhibited Qualities” • Mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual • Strength and originality in a person’s nature; reputation • Qualities impressed by nature or habit which distinguishes one person from another Clearing • “Space Created” (by a Way of Being) • The act of making pure • To free from obstruction, making a space to build God Morning LLC. 80 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual • To remove perplexity or ambiguity Commitment • “To Send With” (the promise) • The act of pledging or engaging • Promise or agreement to do something in the future • Being bound emotionally/intellectually to a course of action or to another person/other persons Community • “A Providential Group” • A group of people bound by common places, purpose, structure • A particular location for where people meet and live • A body of individuals with common language, promises, rules Completion • “To Fill” (a promise) • To fill; to accomplish a desire or dream • Having no deficiency • Finish; ended; conclude Conversation • “The Expression of Being” • The means by which people exhibit their reality and paradigms • Informal exchange of ideas by spoken words • Familiar discourse; general intercourse of sentiments Declaration • “To Speak Forth” (Current or future reality) • An affirmation; an open expression of facts or opinions; verbal utterance • Expression of facts, opinions, promises, predictions in writings records or reports of what has been declared or uttered • To declare: The act of explicitly making known some determination Enrollment • “The Ministry of Possibility” • The action of availing possibility • To join oneself to a cause, position, or possible future Excellence • “State of High Quality and Integrity” • Anything highly laudable, meritorious or virtuous • Purity of heart, uprightness or mind, sincerity • The quality of being outstanding, superior, brilliant, great Forgiveness • “To Send Away” (the offense) • The pardon or remission of an offense or crime • Remission of a debt, fine or penalty Goal • “Desired Result” • The end for final purpose • The end to which a person aims to reach or accomplish God Morning LLC. 81 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual • Destination of a journey Impact • “Feedback of Action" • Touch; impression • To drive close • To press or drive firmly together • The physical outcome of any action or intent Intent • “Stretching of Mind” • The stretching of mind towards an object, a purpose • Eager in pursuit of an object or goal • Desired or envisioned outcome • Internal motivation for an action Intentionally • “Directed Exertion” • Uncommon exertion of the intellectual faculties • Fixedness of attention; earnestness • The determination to act in a certain way Listening • “Interpretation of Language” • To attend closely with a view to hear • The generosity of receiving the conversations of others • Making an effort to hear someone or something Paradigm • “A Grid of Reality” • The scheme in which your worldview is constituted; perspective • A pattern of something; model • The lens through which you see the world Passion • “To Suffer For” (a desire) • An intense desire or enthusiasm for something • A thing arousing enthusiasm • Strong and barely controllable emotion; outburst of same Perseverance • “Grace to Glory” • Continuing in a state of grace to a state of glory • Persistence in anything undertaken • Continued pursuit of any action, business or enterpri s e begun Present • “Focused Awareness” • Being at this time • Current time or session • Ready at hand Promise • “To Send Forth" (your word/promise) • In a general sense, a declaration, written or verbal, made by one person to another, which binds the person who makes it, either in honor, conscience or law, to do or forbear a God Morning LLC. 82 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual certain act specified a declaration which gives to the person to whom it is made, a right to expect or to claim the performance or forbearance of the act. Provision • “An Available Resource” • Things provided • Measures taken beforehand • Previous stipulations Reality • “Mapping of Paradigms” • Actual being or existence of anything • Truth; fact; distinct from mere appearance • The physical evidence of what is Request • “An Invitation to Promise.” • Expression of desire to someone for something to be granted • An asking • The expression of desire to the Almighty (in prayer) Resource • “Available Support” (for moving forward) • Any source of aid • Money, property, supplies, assistance • Means yet untried Right • “Aligning to Truth” • Just claim by sovereignty • Justly belongs to one • Just claim; privilege Settling • “Resignation to Mediocrity” • To subside; become less intense • Causing to sink • To shrink down; give up • Accepting something less than what is possible or available Transformation • “To Become New” • The change of heart • A shift from enmity to holiness and love • A quantum shift in paradigm Unfinished Business • “Incomplete Objective” • Action procrastinated • Tolerations; that which has been put off • Incompletion due to circumstances Visionary • “To Conjure Ideas” • To see multiple possibilities • Confidence of a future that others aren’t • Lively imagination God Morning LLC. 83 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Vision • “Future Oriented Sight” • A revelation from God • The act of seeing external objects • Aligning your world to a declared outcome • A possibility yet to be realized Way of Being • “Creating Experience (for others and self)” • To create a context for possibility and action by how you are • Creating specific context for others and self • Manifesting possibility and action through person al manner and conversation • An invitation into a possibility • Existing in a behavior or attitude that creates an experien ce for others and self God Morning LLC. 84 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Appendix C: Book List for Further Reading As you continue your life of transformation, you may find these books and other resources helpful. Book Name Authors 1. Amusing Ourselves to Death Neil Postman 2. Apostolic Foundations Art Katz 3. Back to Virtue Peter Kreeft 4. Blink Malcomb Gladwell 5. Bold Love Dan Allender 6. Building Trust Solomon and Flores 7. Choice Theory William Glasser 8. Continuous Revival Norman Grubb 9. Christianity for Modern Pagans Peter Kreeft 10. Finding God Larry Crabb 11. Getting to Yes: Negotiating Agreement Without Giving In Fisher, Ury, Patton 12. Habits of the Heart Bellah et al. 13. Holiness, Truth, and the Spirit of God Francis Frangipane 14. Inside Out Larry Crabb 15. Kierkegaard Anthology Bretal 16. Know the Truth Bruce Milne 17. Knowing God J.I. Packer 18. Man's Search for Meaning Victor Frankl 19. My Utmost for His Highest Oswald Chambers 20. No God But God Guinness & Seel 21. Presence Peter Senge 22. Reality for a Change Ennio Salucci 23. Reality: The Hope of Glory Art Katz 24. Sickness unto Death Soren Kierkegaard 25. Social Intelligence Daniel Goleman 26. The Art of Possibility Stone and Zander 27. The Cost of Discipleship Dietrich Bonhoeffer 28. The Inner Side of Greatness Peter Koestenbaum 29. The Keys to the Deeper Life A.W. Tozer 30. The Problem of Pain C.S. Lewis 31. The Road Less Traveled M. Scott Peck 32. The Silence of Adam Larry Crabb 33. The Spirit of the Disciplines Dallas Willard 34. The Three Battlegrounds Francis Frangipane 35. The Three Philosophies of Life Peter Kreeft 36. The Wounded Healer Henri Nouwen 37. Tortured for Christ Richard Wurmbrand God Morning LLC. 85 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Appendix D: Scripture Text All scripture are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV) unless otherwise stated. Section 1: Community and Transformation Ro mans 12:2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God. M atthew 18:18-20 (NIV) 18 "I tell you the truth, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be [ b ] loosed in heaven. 19 "Again, I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything you ask for, it will be done for you by my Father in heaven. 20 For where two or three come together in my name, there am I with them." Other Related Scripture: Ecclesiastes 4:9-12 (the w isdo m and practicality o f co mmunity) 9 Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: 10 If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up! 11 Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? 12 Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken. Pro verbs 11:24 (genero sity eliminates s carcity) One man gives freely, yet gains even more; another withholds unduly, but comes to poverty. Proverbs 27:17 (community provides resources, identifies blind spots, creates a space for gro w th) As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another. Jo hn 13:34-35 “A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another; as I have loved you, that you also love one another. By this all will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another.” 1 Jo hn 3:1 Behold what manner of love the Father has bestowed on us, that we should be called children of God! God Morning LLC. 86 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 1 Co rinthians 10:31 Therefore, whether you eat or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God. 1 Thessalonians 5:11-14 (we are encouraged to be in community for encouragement-giving and receiving) Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing. Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. Hebrews 10:24-25 (we are encouraged to be in community to move each other toward the future) And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another--and all the more as you see the Day approaching. Section 2: Vision Pro verbs 29:18 Where there is no revelation, the people cast off restraint; But happy is he who keeps the law. Co lo ssians 1:16 16 For by him all things were created: things in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or powers or rulers or authorities; all things were created by him and for him. Other Related Scripture: Luke 16:10 “He who is faithful in what is least is faithful also in much; and he who is unjust in what is least is unjust also in much.” Ephesians 5:1-2 (NIV) (Christ is our example of how the offering of our pain through the pursuit o f o ur visio n can be a sacrifice w ith purpo se) Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God. God Morning LLC. 87 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual M atthew 11:29-30 “Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light.” M atthew 5:5 “Blessed are the meek, For they shall inherit the earth.” 2 Co rinthians 13:5 -6 Examine yourselves as to whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Do you not know yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you? —unless indeed you are disqualified. But I trust that you will know that we are not disqualified. Section 3: Current Reality Lamentatio ns 3:40 (NIV) Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the LORD. 1 Co rinthians 13:12 (The M essage) We don't yet see things clearly. We're squinting in a fog, peering through a mist. But it won't be long before the weather clears and the sun shines bright! We'll see it all then, see it all as clearly as God sees us, knowing him directly just as he knows us! Galatians 6:4-5 (The M essage) Make a careful exploration of who you are and the work you have been given, and then sink yourself into that. Don't be impressed with yourself. Don't compare yourself with others. Each of you must take responsibility for doing the creative best you can with your own life Jo hn 8:32 “And you shall know the truth, and the truth shall make you free.” Other Related Scripture: Pro verbs 27:6 Faithful are the wounds of a friend, But the kisses of an enemy are deceitful. Pro verbs 23:7a For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. God Morning LLC. 88 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Deutero no my 30:19 I call heaven and earth as witnesses today against you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing; therefore choose life, that both you and your descendants may live. Section 4: Forgiveness 1 Jo hn 4:20-21 If someone says, “I love God,” and hates his brother, he is a liar; for he who does not love his brother whom he has seen, how can he love God whom he has not seen? And this commandment we have from Him: that he who loves God must love his brother also. M atthew 18:22 Jesus said to him, “I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven” M ark 11:25-26 “And whenever you stand praying, if you have anything against anyone, forgive him, that your Father in heaven may also forgive you your trespasses. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father in heaven forgive your trespasses.” Psalm 139:23 -24 Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me, and know my anxieties. And see if there is any wicked way in me, And lead me in the way everlasting. Leviticus 19:18 You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the children of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the Lord. Deutero no my 32:35 Vengeance is Mine, and recompense; Their foot shall slip in due time; For the day of their calamity is at hand, And the things to come hasten upon them.' Ro mans 5:8 But God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. God Morning LLC. 89 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 2 Peter 3:9 The Lord is not slack concerning His Promise, as some count slackness, but is long suffering toward us, not willing that any should perish but that all should come to repentance. Luke 15:7 “I say to you that likewise there will be more joy in heaven over one sinner who repents than over ninety-nine just persons who need no repentance.” Ps 32:1 -2 Blessed is he whose transgression is forgiven, Whose sin is covered. Blessed is the man to whom the Lord does not impute iniquity, And in whose spirit there is no deceit. Jo hn 21:15-17 (Three fo ld resto ratio n) 15 So when they had eaten breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me more than these?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Feed My lambs.” 16 He said to him again a second time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” He said to Him, “Yes, Lord; You know that I love You.” He said to him, “Tend My sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of Jonah, do you love Me?” Peter was grieved because He said to him the third time, “Do you love Me?” And he said to Him, “Lord, You know all things; You know that I love You.” Jesus said to him, “Feed My sheep.” Co lo ssians 2:13 -14 13 And you, being dead in your trespasses and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He has made alive together with Him, having forgiven you all trespasses, 14 having wiped out the handwriting of requirements that was against us, which was contrary to us. And He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. Psalm 86:5 5 For You, Lord, are good, and ready to forgive, And abundant in mercy to all those who call upon You. Other Related Scripture: Luke 10:27 So he answered and said, “‘You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind,’ and ‘your neighbor as yourself.’” God Morning LLC. 90 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 (NIV) (the pain we’ve experienced in the past can be redeemed in our vision and be a pro visio n fo r o thers) Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. Luke 11:4 (NIV) (Jesus’ praye r, o ur example o f ho w to be right in co mmunity) “Forgive us our sins, for we also forgive everyone who sins against us. And lead us not into temptation.” 2 Corinthians 3:17 (NIV) (freedom in the spirit available to the fo rgiven/fo rgiving believer) Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom Ro mans 13:12 The night is far spent, the day is at hand. Therefore let us cast off the works of darkness, and let us put on the armor of light. 1 Jo hn 1:9 If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness. Section 5: Conversations for Action Pro verbs 18:21 Death and life are in the power of the tongue, And those who love it will eat its fruit. Galatians 6:7 7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 2 Co rinthians 10:4-6 4 For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds, 5 casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ, 6 and being ready to punish all disobedience when your obedience is fulfilled. M atthew 4:19 (A request and pro mise in statement fo rm) Then He said to them, “Follow Me, and I will make you fishers of men.” God Morning LLC. 91 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Other Related Scripture: Jo hn 4:7 A woman of Samaria came to draw water. Jesus said to her, “Give Me a drink.” M atthew 7:7-8 (NIV) (being aware and pursuing the avenues o f opportunity allows us to remove the barriers) "Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; he who seeks finds; and to him who knocks, the door will be opened.” James 2:14-26 (NIV) (Example o f actio n) 14 What good is it, my brothers, if a man claims to have faith but has no deeds? Can such faith save him? 15 Suppose a brother or sister is without clothes and daily food. 16 If one of you says to him, "Go, I wish you well; keep warm and well fed," but does nothing about his physical needs, what good is it? 17 In the same way, faith by itself, if it is not accompanied by action, is dead. Galatians 6:7 1-10 (NIV) (accountability provides a check on reality and continual moving forward in effective actio n to w ards o ur go al/visio n) 1 Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. 2 Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. 3 If anyone thinks he is something when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 Each one should test his own actions. Then he can take pride in himself, without comparing himself to somebody else, 5 for each one should carry his own load. 6Anyone who receives instruction in the word must share all good things with his instructor. 7Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. 8The one who sows to please his sinful nature, from that nature will reap destruction; the one who sows to please the Spirit, from the Spirit will reap eternal life. 9Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 10Therefore, as we have opportunity, let us do good to all people, especially to those who belong to the family of believers. Jo hn 1:1 -14 (We are Go d’s A ctio n Co nversatio n) 1 In the beginning was the Word, and the Word was with God, and the Word was God. 2 He was in the beginning with God. 3 All things were made through Him, and without Him nothing was God Morning LLC. 92 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual made that was made. 4 In Him was life, and the life was the light of men. 5 And the light shines in the darkness, and the darkness did not comprehend it. 6 There was a man sent from God, whose name was John. 7 This man came for a witness, to bear witness of the Light, that all through him might believe. 8 He was not that Light, but was sent to bear witness of that Light. 9 That was the true Light which gives light to every man coming into the world. 10 He was in the world, and the world was made through Him, and the world did not know Him. 11 He came to His own, and His own did not receive Him. 12 But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, to those who believe in His name: 13 who were born, not of blood, nor of the will of the flesh, nor of the will of man, but of God. 14 And the Word became flesh and dwelt among us, and we beheld His glory, the glory as of the only begotten of the Father, full of grace and truth. Jo hn 1:1 -14 (Erasmus versio n) It all arose out of a Conversation, a Conversation within God. In fact, the Conversation was God. So, God started the discussion and everything came out of this and nothing happened without consultation. This was the life, the life that was the light of men shining in the darkness, a darkness which neither understood nor quenched its creativity. John, a man sent by God, came to remind people about the nature of the light so that they would observe. He was not the subject under discussion but the bearer of an invitation to join in. The subject of the Conversation, the original light, came into the world, the world that had arisen out of his willingness to converse. He fleshed out the words but the world did not understand. He came to those who knew the language, but they did not respond. Those who did became a new creation (his children); they read the signs and responded. These children were born out of sharing in the creative activity of God. They heard the Conversation still going on, here, now, and took part, discovering a new way of being people. To be invited to share in a Conversation about the nature of life, was for them, a glorious opportunity not to be missed. Section 6: Staying in the Game Galatians 6:9 (NIV) (the rew ards o f perseverance) God Morning LLC. 93 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. Hebrew s 12:1 -3 (the examples o f perseverance) 1 Therefore we also, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us lay aside every weight, and the sin which so easily ensnares us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us, 2 looking unto Jesus, the author and finisher of our faith, who for the joy that was set before Him endured the cross, despising the shame, and has sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 3 For consider Him who endured such hostility from sinners against Himself, lest you become weary and discouraged in your souls. Ro mans 5: 2b – 5 (NIV) (the by-pro ducts o f perseverance) And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. 3 Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; 4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us. James 1:2-4 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. Pro verbs 16:9 A man’s heart plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps. Psalm 119:105 Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. M ark 14: 35-36 35 He went a little farther, and fell on the ground, and prayed that if it were possible, the hour might pass from Him. 36 And He said, “Abba, Father, all things are possible for You. Take this cup away from Me; nevertheless, not what I will, but what You will.” 1Thessalo nians 5:18 18 in everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. God Morning LLC. 94 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Other Related Scripture: Philippians 3:13b -16 (NIV) 13b Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, 14 I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.15 All of us who are mature should take such a view of things. And if on some point you think differently, that too God will make clear to you. 16 Only let us live up to what we have already attained. 2 Timo thy 4:7 (an example o f the satisfactio n o f perseve rance) I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Ro mans 8:31 What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? Section 7: Finishing Well Luke 19:17 (the rew ard and future o f finishing w el l.) "'Well done, my good servant!' his master replied. 'Because you have been trustworthy in a very small matter, take charge of ten cities.' James 1:2-12 (finishing w ell pro vides a benefit o f maturity and co mpleteness) 2 My brethren, count it all joy when you fall into various trials, 3 knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience. 4 But let patience have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing. 5 If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach, and it will be given to him. 6 But let him ask in faith, with no doubting, for he who doubts is like a wave of the sea driven and tossed by the wind. 7 For let not that man suppose that he will receive anything from the Lord; 8 he is a double-minded man, unstable in all his ways. 9 Let the lowly brother glory in his exaltation, 10 but the rich in his humiliation, because as a flower of the field he will pass away. 11 For no sooner has the sun risen with a burning heat than it withers the grass; its flower falls, and its beautiful appearance perishes. So the rich man also will fade away in his pursuits. 12 Blessed is the man who endures temptation; for when he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. 2 Co rinthians 8:7 -11 (NIV) (o ur admo nitio n to finish w ell) 7 But just as you excel in everything--in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us--see that you also excel in this grace of giving. 8 I am not commanding you, but God Morning LLC. 95 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual I want to test the sincerity of your love by comparing it with the earnestness of others. 9 For you know the grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, that though he was rich, yet for your sakes he became poor, so that you through his poverty might become rich. 10 And here is my advice about what is best for you in this matter: Last year you were the first not only to give but also to have the desire to do so. 11 Now finish the work, so that your eager willingness to do it may be matched by your completion o f it, acco rding to yo ur means. 1 Co rinthians 12:26 And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; or if one member is honored, all the members rejo ice with it. A cts 20:24 (NIV) (the visio n o f finishing w ell) However, I consider my life worth nothing to me, if only I may finish the race and complete the task the Lord Jesus has given me--the task of testifying to the gospel of God's grace. Other Related Scripture: 2 Timo thy 4:7 (an example o f finishing w ell) I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. Jo hn 4:36 “And he who reaps receives wages, and gathers fruit for eternal life, that both he who sows and he who reaps may rejoice together.” God Morning LLC. 96 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual Appendix E: Additional Journal Pages God Morning LLC. 97 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 98 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 99 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 100 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 101 The Locker Room Participant’s Manual God Morning LLC. 102