Karoshni Perumal

 Behind The Garment She woke at midnight and gazed intently at something invisible in the sky of her chamber. She heard a voice more soothing than the whispers of life, and more dismal than the moaning call of the abyss, and softer than the rustling of white wings, and deeper than the message of the waves. .... It vibrated with hope and with futility, with joy and with misery, and with affection for life, yet with desire for death. Then she closed her eyes and sighted deeply and gasped, saying, "Dawn has reached the extreme end of the valley.  We should go toward the Sun and meet him. “Her lips were parted, resembling and echoing a deep wound in the soul. At that moment a priest approached her bed and felt her hand, but it was cold as snow, and when he grimly placed, his fingers upon her heart, he determined that it was as immobile as the ages, and as silent as the secret of his heart. The reverend father bowed his head in deep despair. His lips quivered as if wanting to utter a divine word repeated by the phantoms of the night in the distant and deserted valleys. After crossing her arms upon her bosom. The priest looked toward a man sitting in an obscured corner of the room, and with a kind and merciful voice he said, "Your beloved has reached the great circle of light. Come my brother, let us kneel and pray." The sorrowful husband lifted his head, his eyes stared, gazing at the unseen, and his expression then changed as if he saw understanding in the ghost of the unknown God. He gathered the remnants of himself and reverently toward the bed of his wife, and knelt by the side of the clergyman who was praying and lamenting and making the sign of the cross. Placing his hand upon the shoulder of the grief-stricken husband, the father said quietly, "Go to the adjoining room brother, for you are in great need of rest." He rose obediently, walked to the room and threw his fatigued body upon a narrow bed, and in a few moments he was sailing in the world of sleep like a child taking refuge in the merciful arms of his loving mother. ×××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××××× The priest remained standing like a statue in the centre of the room, and a strange conflict gripped him, and he looked with tearful eyes first at the cold body of the young women and then the parted curtains at her husband, who had surrendered himself to the allure of slumber. An hour, longer than an age and more terrible than death, had already passed, and the priest was still standing between two parted souls. One was dreaming of a field of dreams of the coming spring after the tragedy of winter, and the other was resting eternal. Then the priest came close to the body of the young women and knelt as if worshipping before the altar, then he held her cold hand and placed it against his trembling lips, and looked at her face that was adorned with a soft veil of death. His voice was at the same time soft as the night and as deep as the chasm and faltering as the hopes of man, and in this voice he wept, “OH father bride of my soul, Hear me! At last I am able to tell what death has opened my lips so that I can now tell you a secret deeper than life itself. Pain has opinioned my tongue and I can disclose to you my suffering, more painful than pain. Listen to the cry of my firmament. Give heed to the youth who waited for you to come from the field, gazing upon you from behind the trees, in fear of your beauty.  Hear the priest, who is serving God, calling to you unashamed, after you have reached the city of God. I have proved the strength of my love by  concealing it!" Having thus opened his soul, the father leaned over and planted three long ,warm kisses upon her forehead, eyes and throat, pouring fourth all his heart and secret love and pain, and the anguish of the year's. Then he suddenly withdrew to the dark corner and dropped in agony upon the floor, shaking like an Autumn leaf, as if the touch of her cold face had awakened within himself the spirit to repent, whereupon he composed himself and knelt, hiding his face with his cupped handstand he whispered softly "God....Forgive My Sin, Forgive My Weakness, Oh Lord, I could not longer resist disclosing that which you knew. Seven years have I kept the deep secrets hidden in my heart from the spoken word, until death came and tore them from me. Help me, OH God, to hid this terrible and beautiful memory which brings sweetness from life and bitterness from you. Forgive me, my Lord and forgive my weakness. Without looking at the young woman's corpse. He continued suffering and lamenting until dawn came and stopped a rosy veil upon those two still images, revealing the conflict of love and religion to one man, the image of life and death to the other.