Article on interpersonal skills
How to overcome a stressful
workplace to become an
indispensable management
superstar.
This series helps you learn the exact
recipe to rise to the top amidst
chaos and turbulence in your
workplace.
Often people do things that don’t make sense to us.
That is because the transmitter has poor communication skills, the receiver has poor listening
skills, or either of them has no valid point of reference. In these situations, you can either be the
Sledge-Hammer or you can be the Shepherd.
The Sledgehammer: This tactic forces others to their point of view, leaves little room for the
autonomy of others and sets an unrealistic expectation.
People who use this tactic behave passively or aggressive instead of assertively. They violate
the dignity and respect of people around them.
They inject turbulence and unnecessary stress into their environment and ultimately stunt
organizational development and depress personal growth.
The Sheppard exercises tactical patience. Learn how to strategically use a gentle guided hand
to overcome those who use the sledgehammer. To the degree, you master this strategy, and its
tactics and techniques are to the degree you will rise to the top amidst chaos, uncertainty, and
turbulence to evolve into the best version of yourself and get rewarded for it accordingly.
People hate turbulence, and they envy problem solvers.
He who solves the most significant problems deserves the biggest paycheck. The faster and
more effectively you solve problems the quicker your paycheck can grow. What follows is a
recipe for doing just that.
Don't join the Royal Family of The Drama Kingdom. When turbulence manifests, and people
begin wielding the Sledgehammer, the Sheppards are the lighthouse of clarity and the beacon of
hope.
Stop! Don’t react outwardly.
Give yourself adequate space and time to processes. Become aware of how you respond
emotionally by reflecting inwardly instead of acting outwardly. See how your emotions can
inhibit the clarity of the message you must deliver.
People credit Abraham Lincoln as saying, "It is better to say too little at the risk of appearing
incompetent than to say too much and remove all doubt."
He was also credited with the following statement, "Give me six hours to chop down a tree and I
will spend the first four sharpening the ax."
Calm your mind so that you can become objective.
Decide that you are all on the same team, even if some of the players are not very skilled. Put
the situation into perspective. Accept that whatever is going wrong is not a catastrophe, even if
the situation is a genuine 9/11 style catastrophe. Since catastrophic thinking never produces the
best solutions. Challenges both tremendous or small are merely single steps on the long journey
of self-discovery.
Process and deal with the emotion in a healthy way.
Don’t be passive or aggressive. Instead be assertive which is objective, kind, clear and direct.
Don’t vent, blame, condemn, complain, or criticize. Failing to maintain control of your anger will
keep you from entering problem-solving mode and will sabotage any chance you have of being
heard.
How does the Sheppard present their solution to a close-minded, difficult or overly-critical
decision maker? How do we elicit cooperation when a change is required?
Identify your ideal scenario and contrast it with the present course
of action.
Craft an ideal outcome based on your experience or documented evidence, what are the best
practices for how this to handle this situation expertly? Include actionable insights to include a
sensible plan that demonstrates the desired outcome.
Detail the second option to include the outcome trajectory of the present path in the absence of
meaningful changes. It is important to be objective and remove all emotion from your position.
Do not assign blame. Resits any temptation to complain or become critical.
Objectively compare and contrast the two scenarios. Detail the pros and cons of each proposal.
Seek feedback.
Ask for the decision makers guidance. If it where the decision, you wouldn't have to do this. So
you must recognize your place in the situation. You present possible solutions
Ask, “do you favor one of these two options or do you recommend something else?” Leave room
for other people to make their decisions in a dignified and respectful manner. The
Sledgehammer will compel other and make demands. Conversely, the Sheppard uses a
gentle-guided hand to influence the people around them.
Evolve.
In advance, determine and express your desire to whole-heartedly willingly accept and adapt to
whichever option the decision maker chooses. The Sheppard knows that it is more important to
compromise than allow their viewpoints to damage a beneficial relationship. This method
requires a great deal of strategic patience.
Often you must let people choose the wrong path, despite being presented superior options so
that they can learn to trust you. If they fail, you continue to show support by saying, "we did the
best we could, let's examine our options and try something else this time." You never say things
like, "I told you so" or "if you had listened to me this would have never happened."
The Sledgehammer, however, prioritizes their personal preference above the virtue of patience
and the rights and dignity of the others. There is a right way and a wrong way to stand up to the
Sledgehammer type. Confrontation will lead to collateral damage.
Using the gentle-guided hand is firm and assertive, it builds trust and respect, and demonstrates
genuine leadership. Exhibiting these qualities in an organization that values them is how you
move up.
This article is the first in a series that builds upon these ideas to help you overcome
organizational issues and become the best version of yourself. Take a look at what's coming up
next.
●
Know when to exit a habitually and terminally toxic professional relationship.
●
How to not take it all so personally.
●
Ten strategies for better communication in the workplace.
●
How to determine when to fight and when to compromise.
●
How to deal with and overcome difficult people.
Did you find this helpful? Get alerts as these articles are released. Subscribe. Like. Share.