Favour Borokini

ON YOUR WEDDING DAY “I now pronounce you man and wife”, the priest intoned. Mama gave out an ululating scream as she led the church women in songs of praises. Akin hurriedly removed my veil and kissed me soundly on the lips to my shock and the shock of the conservative congregation. The surprise only lasted for a moment for soon after, there were loud whistle calls and general sounds of celebration. My darling husband put his hands around my waist and pinched my bottom glancing slyly at the priest as if daring him to object. I held back a groan as my head began to ache madly. Father Joseph barely spared him a glance. The expression on his face was that of a practiced calm as he intoned the benediction and with that, it was sealed. At the richly decorated church reception hall, Tunji my little brother and MC called, “… and now with a standing ovation, let us make welcome the newest couple in town, Mr. and Mrs. Akin Badmus”. I forced a smile on my face and wiped my sweaty palms on my silk gown as Akin held out his arm without so much as a glance at my face. I latched on to his arm as the live band played the cacophonous local Christian music. I had not wanted a live band, simple tunes from my favourite artistes were more to my taste but Akin had insisted on a band and our families had agreed. As we made our way to the high table, people were shouting and screaming and I spotted some of my friends from the university and not a few from my secondary school mouthing “Congrats” at me. I was barely able to shoot a smile in their direction on my wedding march. Amidst the shouts and general merriment, a figure stood out for its stillness and as we walked past it, I sneaked a glance and my heart fell into my belly as the familiar visage of my best friend, Augusta, came into view. Unlike everyone around her, she wasn’t wearing the traditional uniform, compounded with that, she wasn’t even smiling and her eyes glared daggers at me. I ignored her, today was my day and I was determined not to let anything or anybody put a drain on my happiness. Not soon enough for me, we were at the high table and Akin made a show of letting me sit before he did. This seemed to please the crowd and they let out another roar in appreciation. The headache began to mount. Tunji continued with the introduction of the best man and maid of honour and other important personalities as I searched for Augusta once more. What was she doing here? And more importantly, was she alone? My heart raced with the heavy implications of how she could destroy everything I had struggled to build and I clenched my fists on my gown. “Are you alright?” Akin asked solicitously. Surprised, I looked at him; I hadn’t expected him to notice, “Yes, everything’s fine. Nothing’s wrong”. He looked at me suspiciously and his gaze turned into a leer as he openly ogled my cleavage. He shifted to ensure that none notice his growing arousal and I felt my eyes mist. I made a show of wiping sweat from my face as I surreptitiously dabbed the tears. Soon the introductions were done when Tunji said, “Now we are about to start the reception proper. We all know that in whatever we do, we must always involve God. Therefore let us rise as we invite the Holy Father, my Papa, and your Papa. Even though he is young in the body, he is older than us all in the Spirit, Father Joseph”, and my heart plummeted. My legs turned watery and I began to gasp slowly. I turned to Akin and saw the gloat on his face. He was punishing me but hadn’t I suffered enough? Father Joseph walked sedately to the front of the hall and picked up the microphone in a subdued voice and led the prayer. Turning back to return the microphone, our eyes met and an eternity passed in that second. Akin of course, noticed everything and I saw him clench and unclench his fists. Father Joseph didn’t stay for the rest of the event but walked out immediately unnoticed by everyone but me. I saw Augusta slip out after him soon after. They had always been close. Mama soon got up for her testimony and she began, “I am the happiest person here today. Felicia Ajike now Felicia Badmus is my first child”, there were not a few nods in the crowd. “I gave birth to her in my old age and after her father died, I had to struggle to take care of the children… I am happy that she finally decided to settle down. A woman is incomplete without a husband and children”. There were nods of agreement all around now. “Felicia is a very intelligent girl but I always advice her that it is not only book knowledge that you need. Book is good but you’re not a man. You need a man in your life. Felicia never had a boyfriend...” At the last, Akin snorted but otherwise kept his cool. For the first time, I wondered if we would live happily together after all. Mama finished her testimony, soon after leading the crowd in shouting seven thunderous hallelujahs for what he had done in her daughter’s life. The headache began to spread across my face. Other members of the family and close friends also came out for their testimonies about Akin and I in a blur. Mama had been greatly instrumental in ensuring that Akin and I were married. “You can’t marry Joseph. He’s training to be a priest. He has no money anyway. A man without money, without the means to take care of his family is not a real man.” “But I love him.” “Will you eat love? Will your children eat love? This is the real world Felicia. You need to grow up and give up your girlish fantasies. This is real life. Who will take care of me? When I had a stroke where was Joseph? Where was money? Wasn’t it Akin who footed the bills? It’s okay sha. I need to rest but know that if you marry Joseph I will kill myself and my blood will be on your head.” “Mama stop being dramatic joor.” “I’m serious. If you won’t think of me, at least consider your siblings. Akin will be able to take care of them comfortably…” The memory faded as Tunji called on us for the customary feeding of the groom by the bride and vice versa; memories flooded my mind as I recalled conversations I had long ago with Augusta about how disgusting I found the whole affair. “It’s so demeaning to the lady. Why can’t the man kneel too…?” I contended. Now, here I was kneeling in front of the world with my hands in front of Akin’s lips. His tongue snaked out to lick my fingers and I fought down nausea. At that moment, I hated him more than I hated Augusta. More than I hated myself. I kept my face in its rictus grin throughout our first dance as a couple as Akin’s fingers wandered all over my body even as friends and pretended not to notice. I was mortified. During the dance, Augusta drew near and whispered, “We need to talk.” I pretended not to notice and faced Akin squarely. The ceremony soon drew to a close and I hurried to the restroom for a moment of peace and quiet. When I opened the door, there was Augusta and worse she wasn’t alone, Joseph – no, Father Joseph - was there as well. “What is this?” I asked shrilly. “Felicia, calm down. Okay? I just want you to know it’s not too late for you and Joseph”, Augusta said as she took a step towards me. “What do you mean by not too late for me? I’m married. He joined Akin and I.” I pointed at Joseph. “Felicia, I know that this is not what you want. This is not the dream wedding we always discussed. Remember? Where I would be your maid of honour and it would be a small, cosy event just for friends and family. Not this huge, distant ceremony. Felicia you even hated the music at your own wedding. Tell her she’s wrong”, she told the Father. “It’s too late for all these. We were young and foolish. This is the real world Augusta. I need to fulfil my role in society and besides my family needs this. As a woman this is the sacrifice I have to make for them so that things will turn out well for them. You can’t understand and you’re being delusional.” “You would sacrifice your own happiness on the altar of duty. Just to make your mother happy? This is so unlike you. And what of Joseph? Hmm?” “What about him?” Turning, I look at him for the first time and notice the hollowness in his gaze, his fair unlined face that I had caressed so many times was lined with concern. “You did your duty to your family and to your God now I’m doing mine, Joseph,” I spat. “Do you love him?” The question stopped me in my tracks. It all became too much to bear. “What does love have to do with this? He knows everything about us but still desires me. He’s my only option. He has money. I know we made plans, Joseph but these are the cards fate has dealt us. You decided to answer the call and I ... well, I answered a different call too”. “He doesn’t love you. We both know what Akin is like. He only sees you as the ultimate conquest. If I could do this all over again, I would marry you in a heartbeat. You deserve so much better than him. I’m sorry.” He wiped away tears from my brimming eyes. “It’s too late now. You can’t marry me. You’re a priest now. I will make it work. Akin has the money I need to take care of my mother’s fading health and fulfil my dreams. Akin is a good man and soon we will have a family together. All this,” I spread my hands, “will soon be a forgotten memory”. “Your dreams?” Augusta cackled and I could see tears pouring from her eyes. “What dreams? You think he will let you be free? Let you be yourself? Tell me you think for an instance that you’ll be anything other than a pretty bauble, a mere accessory for glamorous events. Tell me!” she screamed. “My mind is made up, Augusta. Everyone is counting on me and I can’t let them down. I’m sorry.” I shut the door behind me as Augusta cried into her brother’s shoulder and walked quickly back to Akin’s arms before my courage failed me. I would need a lot of it for the years to come. Soon our wedding motorcade was leaving and I glanced out of the window as I watched my past fade behind me. I looked at Akin beside me, he was very handsome, rich and all I had ever wanted in a man, I told myself. I would make it work, I thought determinedly as my head ached and my heart thudded heavily in concert.