Eileen DeStefano

My Personal Inspiration - Testimony by Eileen DeStefano I grew up in the suburbs of New Orleans, Louisiana eating crawfish, king cakes, and swimming in Lake Pontchartrain surrounded by family. My father was a country Cajun from Cottonport, Louisiana and my mother was a city Cajun from New Orleans, Louisiana. I took dance lessons, piano lessons, and went to a Catholic elementary school in Algiers (suburb), Louisiana. My father was in the Knights of Columbus, and we went to many social outings, especially at Mardi Gras. NEW ORLEANS CRAWFISH KING CAKE LAKE PONTCHARTRAIN At thirteen my father bought me a horse (Gypsy). Living in suburbia, open space was premium property, so my primary option was riding Gypsy on the levee. I can still vision the stables across the River Road from the levee in Algiers, Louisiana. The view from the levee was amazing with the Mississippi River on one side, and old Algiers on the other. My friends and I could enjoy bathing the horses in the river, although that was forbidden by our parents. The levee with the Mississippi River and Old Algiers, LA A few months later, my fun came to a sudden end on a fall day. I was meeting a friend, without parental permission, and urgency was forefront in my mind making it necessary to quickly get back to the stables before anyone found out. Not being a veteran horse rider, I did not take proper precautions with the riding gear because that was not my priority. I knew the saddle was loose, with the possible risk, but the danger was on my mind that day. The illusory “safety” of the loose saddle gave me the idea that this would be an exercise in skill training for bareback riding. The jaunt along the “regular” journey down the levee to the meeting spot was not without repercussions. Unexpectedly, without warning two ferocious German Shepherds came out of nowhere and began ambushing Gypsy on her flank sides. Panic stricken and fearful, her “flight” response set in, and she ran at breakneck speed down the levee onto the asphalt street that the locals still call “The River Road.” My adventure was chaotic at best, as I was unconscientious, with my body teetering between life and death. The impact from the street left me dangling from Gypsy with my right leg stuck, swinging in the stirrup. With God’s help Gypsy could maneuver around my body hanging from the saddle for two city blocks. The perplexity of the situation left her no choice, but to choose the direction she knew with no help from me. As she came to a deadly turn through a narrow alley between a couple of shotgun homes, a large tree branch tore through my chin. The interception of the branch between the street and the embankment broke the stirrup on the saddle. Thus, with just a hanging bridle in her mouth and a slipshod saddle, Gypsy ran back to her home, the stables alone. Shot Gun Homes with narrow alley I came to rest on the front lawn of a stranger with a large tree branch hanging out of my chin. Thinking I was dead, the homeowner threw a sheet over me as the only things still clinging to my body were shreds of clothes, and spatters of blood and skin. For two weeks, my brush with death put me in a deep coma, breathing through a machine; however, unbeknownst to my physical body God was healing me. “I form light and create darkness, I make well-being and create calamity, I am the LORD, who does all these things” (ESV, Isaiah 45:7). Looking back on the abyss of the past, I know that God had reasons for not letting me die that day, but it took me years to jump on the bandwagon, and fully understand that He was with me all the time. This disaster literally had an impact on my thinking, and although I wasn’t entirely ready to change my lifestyle, I began searching for what I was living for. God brought me through that dark season, and He stuck with me although I still hung from a cliff at times. This incident, though, is not nearly as remarkable as the one Jesus had. “For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness,” has shone in our hearts to give the light of the knowledge of the glory of God in the face of Jesus Christ” (2 Corinthians 4:6). I am continually learning the fine art of sharing, especially when and at what times, but I endeavor to share it to the best of my ability, through prayer, whenever possible. Jesus has had my back in good times and bad. He helps me to understand some of my reasons for living by answering prayers, or not, for reasons understandable at future dates. I’m living a distinct life with ups and downs, problems, sorrows, and pity parties; nevertheless, I know the impact Jesus has on my life because He died for me. For many years, my belief was about “religion”, but I know that Christ has nothing to do with “religion” and everything to do with faith in Him. I know, trust, and believe that Jesus died so I might live. My salvation and glory come from HIM, and baptism gave me new life. “And he went into all the region around the Jordan, proclaiming a baptism of repentance for the forgiveness of sins” (Luke 3:3). The “Serenity Prayer” has been part of me since a young age. This prayer is and has been an inspiration to me most of my life. I memorized it at a young age, and it has always given me the potential to move on. It was written by (Reinhold Niebuhr,-). The Complete, Unabridged, Original Version is: “God, give us grace to accept with serenity The things that cannot be changed, Courage to change the things, Which should be changed, And the Wisdom to distinguish The one from the other. Living one day at a time, Enjoying one moment at a time, Accepting hardship as a pathway to peace, Taking, as Jesus did, This sinful world as it is, Not as I would have it, Trusting that You will make all things right, If I surrender to Your will, So, that I may be reasonably happy in this life, And supremely happy with You forever in the next. Amen.” (Reinhold Niebuhr,-) Throughout life, I was always trying to fit in and prove I was who everyone thought they saw in me. As a teen, I was rebellious and did things just to see if I could get away with it, and losing my father at 15 was tough. Circumstances; however, taught me learning opportunities through many mistakes, and to grow in faith from those situations, especially others facing similar situations. At a young age (barely 18), I wed my high school sweetheart and within two years the marriage went sour. Divorce was the only visible means to an end, leaving a baby girl as part of the division. There were many reasons on both sides of the coin for the marriage - having a daughter (Michelle), and my amazing lifetime family relationships built through love. To this day, some of one of the important lifelong blessings our family has today are the familial extension to my ex-husband’s grandparents although Michelle was their only biological grandchild). Through these many years, they stood by my soul mate (Anthony), myself our three children, and now our grandchildren. They taught us that love is Forever when it is from God. “Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away” (1 Corinthians 13:4-8). When I made the decision to remarry, Anthony told me in no unspoken terms that he was onboard with my pre-made family. My daughter and I were a “package deal” so adopting Michelle officially became reality, although peace was not part of the transition, and has never been. Life is still adventurous, and Anthony and I are still adjusting to swift waters, even after 36 years of marriage, but we can clear obstacles along the way because of our faith in God and in one another. Although Michelle was not an easy child, her struggles brought us to Him. Michelle was the key to unlocking doors we never thought would be there or even open. During our first tour at Seymour Johnson Air Force Base, in North Carolina, we became “Mormons”, and thought we had a “spiritual” connection to God. HIS intervention into our lives came when Anthony was stationed in Altus, Oklahoma, and I was in LaPlace, Louisiana trying to begin our new life outside the borders of the military. Life in our family has always been extraordinary, but God made it clear that Mormonism was not “spiritually” acceptable to our family, and NOT the “Golden Path” to salvation. Although we clung onto this denomination for many years, God showed us, when Michelle was approaching adolescence that we took a wrong turn down a dead-end street. As a Mormon teenager, “normal” anxiety in our lives became “turmoil and challenges” incessantly. This endless turmoil eventually brought us to a fork in our road of life. The embarrassment, anger, and disaster became the result of being “unwelcome” at church functions. It was at this juncture that God took drastic measures helping us understand why we went through this lengthy disaster and gave us the knowledge to help others steer clear of this community. We knew we needed “spiritual enlightenment”, and when we closed those doors we withstood… re-evaluating what to do on the next layover in this expedition, knowing that we were “lost.” Modernism alienates tradition, and inaccuracy can methodically and unknowingly propel the faithful into extraneous “off the chart” destinations without proper guidance from the Lord. In retrospect, our “package deal” daughter, Michelle, is what makes our lives extraordinary, and although she held us together all these years. We thought she was the reason for our dissatisfaction. Chapel doors on an Air Force Base were physically closed on us, because of Michelle, at the very beginning of our walk together, taking us away from false teachings. Her teen years, led us away from a religious sect showing us that Godly qualities are not of man. BUT - She led us to a small home church atmosphere where we grew in The Word. We went through a metamorphous re-learning real “Christianity” in a home church with just 12 Christians. Through prayer we knew that God is in control, redirecting us down the “right” path. It was through this home church that we could re-dedicate our lives to Christ, and not endless rituals. We took the opportunity to study the “real” scriptures finding the “right” place way to worship with our family. We slowly and steadily grew in Christ, allowing wisdom to increase in our lives. That 12-person gathering could show us that real “Christian” values and God-given opportunities are given to us at the right times in life. “No temptation, has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it” (1 Corinthians 10:13). Learning our significance in life is never-ending. The rest of the story is still being written, and only God knows the ending. Within the last few years, I lost family members, while gaining the realization that God is in control. God has given me trust, and helps me to continue this journey. If it wasn’t for my loving husband, I would be flapping my wings for a place to land. “He that findeth his life shall lose it; and he that loseth his life for my sake shall find it” (Matthew 10:39). Every now and then we still play “tug of war” in our hearts, “giving our problems to God”, “taking them back”, and “trying to fix them” ourselves. The system of giving our situations to Christ is challenging except when we continually immerse ourselves in The Holy Word. This is where I am today. Tomorrow may be different, but He will show me what I need to do when to do it, and why I to do it, whatever “it” is. My nature is to serve and comfort, however, my physical achievements are different. Real success comes from using my spiritual gifts for the glory of His kingdom. As a part of the bigger picture, my goal is to be effective for Jesus, by using time constructively and positively for His glory. I am learning daily, and am thankful for my current environment; my cyclic connection to God. Through prayer and understanding, Jesus is my strength. I can prevail when I fall short, making it clear that, no matter what I do, where I go, or where God puts me, “children” will always be a part of me. Yet again, Anthony and I have come to another juncture in our lives. Together for 36 years, “normal” has never been part of our marriage. “But I trust in you, O Lord; I say, “You are my God” (Psalm 31:14). For us, raising children later in life was not easy and certainly not in our plans. Michelle’s children became part of our grandfamily due to instabilities in her life. God has recently given her the opportunity to be a “real” mom, and with His help, she and her husband will succeed. It was in God’s plan for the children to be with us for a season. Our other two children are also a blessing. Our son and family attend church with us each Sunday, and they are teaching their son Christian values. Our other daughter is in Houston and her family has grown to four. Although each of our children is different, they and their family are inspirations to us. It’s funny how the “academic” nature of our children is very different, but the one that led us through the door to “Christianity” was the most challenging child of them all. Nurturing our grandfamily had challenges and rewards, but we found strength and discernment in prayer. Without Christ, we would have been on a road to nowhere; however, allowing God into our lives has given us opportunities to learn discipleship. Our knowledge is not His knowledge. We do not have to travel where we are not meant to be. To that end, we pray and ask for wisdom and understanding in what we do for His Glory all the time. His plan may not be one we think we want; it is one that we own through “this drive” through our existence with Jesus. For every decision, we make, there are consequences and rewards. Praying is not just a one- time thing. Constant prayer is necessary before crossing the intersection. God oversees the path we follow. “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths” (Proverbs 3:5-6). This is a must to understand His direction. And again, “I will put my trust in him.” And again, “Behold, I and the children God has given me” (Hebrews 2:13). Reflecting “Love of Jesus” in our hearts is what we need to do continuously to show others that what we have is what they need. The love for Jesus requires obedience, thoughtfulness, and faith. Our perspective, character traits, and focus MUST be on Jesus. Christ was, is and will always be the ultimate mentor – for you and me. Helping those in need, and exhibiting our spiritual abilities are Christ-like traits from our hearts. Service can sometimes be exacerbating, but when Christ is our driver, He is there when we are lost, and helps us when we need to find our answers. Today, my husband and I are not searching for Christ; we have found him. We are not seeking MORE money, although it might help materially. We are following the path He has laid out for us. We are going in the direction God wants us to, and that is “where we are” now. Stuff is not in our vocabulary and gives us only a brief high. Life is short, money is even briefer, and unfortunately, today “stuff” makes us happy when we are not in sync with God’s plans. Being in Christ helps us overcome human “disappointments”, and keeps us out of the dark, dismal labyrinth that the enemy wants us in. “Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal, but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also. (Matthew 6:19-21) After all the mistakes, I made from years of searching, researching and reading, I found my true self. I knew right from wrong, although it took me several years to figure out that God has always been there for me, bought my t-shirt, and stayed with me through the gloomy and the chilling days. He is part of my life every day. He was with me on the day I almost died, and those days I forgot to include him in prayer. Belief begins in the parts of you no one sees, sometimes we let the tool rust, but by keeping it clean and unshaken it can last endlessly. Yes, all my grandchildren have taught me many things, but most of all they have taught me to believe myself. “But from everlasting to everlasting the LORD’s love is with those who fear him, and his righteousness with their children’s children” (Psalm 103:17). In Jesus, Eileen DeStefano