Donna Faye Irene Teus

I don't know why I'm here It's not even the first time I don't know if someone cares to hear Or read these lines that rhyme Guess I just want to vent The woes hidden inside About loving what's not meant So on this page, I hide. Ever connected with someone With your mind and soul? When you talk, time does run And you two make a whole Perfect, isn't it? But not truly so He may be kind and sweet But his feelings, I don't know. He says I mean the world Am I reading wrong? When I dig and get bold His response isn't as strong I get it, you know? His fear, his doubt But his indirect 'then go' Urged my mind to reroute. That last part must be confusing So, here's the backstory To months of communicating To thoughts that emails carry Everything was going great Our sharings were profound But his sweetness of late Freed emotions once bound. Often, I got scared I pulled back; uncertain When he sensed I was impaired He patiently drew the curtain His words were reassuring He wanted me in his world That it was difficult breathing If I wasn't in the fold. I waited for 'confirmation' But it never came It dented my communication I never was the same Once again, I pulled back Hoping to trigger something That he'd cut me some slack A sign, a clue, anything. A cold shoulder was what I got 'Get back to me when you want to' Exchanges stuck in a rut Rosey words turned blue I don't blame him, you see Maybe I just misread He meant more than a friend to me While for him, I'm just a friend. After two months and a year Of daily emails that made my days I disconnected; my mind unclear I disappeared without a trace It has been months since But his memories still remain The pain makes me wince My smiles, I can't regain. So, that's the story Of an emotionally vulnerable I know I sound cheesy And these rhymes, all babble But as I have said I just need to vent Clear the cobwebs in my head That's what this poem is meant.