Daniel Simon

Comparison is the thief of joy. If only Cynthia knew this popular saying by President Theodore Roosevelt she wouldn't have been in the mess she came into. Having gone through a series of common "breakfasts" in her earlier relationship Cynthia had a habit of dwelling on her past. Making a comparison of her present romantic partner with her ex was the order of the day for her. "Why would you compare me with your ex? If he was that good why didn't you stick with him?", Sam who became her seventh boyfriend asked her in an argument they had. Every love she had in her relationship wriggled cold quickly because of this habit she lost the good men who were ready to settle down with her. Sam wasn't comfortable with the regular comparison she made at every slightest opportunity so he quitted the relationship even after helping her set up a business of hair wigs. Well, now she's married but she didn't marry the man she love. She is a changed person now but it's late cos she settled down out of desperation. Her present partner is a pervert and does this under her nose with no remorse. He gives little attention to her and her daughter. If only she know making comparisons wasn't healthy, she wouldn't be in the mess she was in. She always thought it would manipulate them into becoming better but she was wrong. Here is why; Constantly analysing thoughts, emotions, relationships, jobs, houses, clothes, looks, and the life of someone else is one of the most negative internal narratives you can have. When we compare ourselves to what others have, or simply how they are, we are practically making ourselves feel downright insufficient and deflated – with low self-esteem to fit. Especially with social media being a platform to flaunt every aspect of our lives, high expectations to be earning a certain amount, own the latest materials and look a certain way – it’s only inevitable that as humans we are going to give in to the trap that is self-comparison. Comparison has negative effects on our personal lives. It increases higher rates of anxiety and depression. It lowers self-esteem It can propel you in making wrong choices. It is a habit that should be avoided and urged of the mind. Simon Cephas Daniel