Cyan Brown

Top Ten Dumbest Blondes of TV The fable of the dumb blonde although not always true has shaped first impression guidelines around the world. The invention of this stereotype has TV reaping the rewards with dummies and dummettes of all ages, sizes and colours keeping us immensely entertained. Whether you love to hate them or just love to laugh at them these sexy fabulous blondes seem to have taken our television screens hostage. It’s time to expose these crazy characters and see where they rank from naïve and just a little too lacking in general common sense to a number one that should come with a warning label in stupidity. 10. Edie the blonde bombshell of ‘Desperate Housewives’ with a penchant for married men ranks lowest on the top 10. She’s the man stealing villain of Wisteria lane whose powers of persuasion limited as they are to the male sex are almost an art form. She may not be a complete airhead but her I.Q. seems to drop as soon as she steps foot out of the the bedroom. This season she has finally become a housewife, but has once again proven her bad taste in men and remains oblivious to her hubby’s psychotic behavior. 9. ‘Chuck’ is back on our screens and the perfect man to off-set the genius of Chuck himself is the buff Captain Awesome also known as Chuck’s sisters fiancé. The only male on our list this gorgeous all round golden boy succeeds at just about anything he puts his mind to, but his naïve nature allows for much of the day to day things going on around him to go straight over his head. Although he is portrayed as being a doctor considering his inability to use any adjective but ‘awesome’ and almost constant expression of confusion, this fine physical specimen swaggers his way into number 9. 8. Amy Pohler of ‘Baby Mama’ fame earned her stripes as one of the top new female comedians on the hit show ‘Saturday Night Live’, now we have her in our living rooms every Tuesday on the new show ‘Parks and Recreation’. Amy plays Leslie Knope a well meaning bureaucrat in the parks department who in her delusional quest to become president displays her bizarre leadership skills and fumbling attempts at career advancement in front of the cameras ala ‘The Office’ mockumentry style and elicits more than a few sniggers from audiences. 7. The old but well loved series ‘Married with Children’ that poked fun at the dysfunctional Bundy family was the birth place for actress Christina Applegate who has since made a career of playing the girl with an invisible question mark above her head. Kelly Bundy was portrayed as the ultimate bimbo complete with gum chewing, eye-rolling and a steady stream of boyfriends both in and out the door. In early episodes there was even a mention of some brain damage after a rather nasty blow to the head as a child. 5 and 6 Molly and Holly the little suntan twins from Sunset Tan on E! are two bouncing bundles of giggling peroxide. The dubbed ‘Olly girls’ are good at looking pretty and trying to lure customers in for some fake tan fun. While trying to keep them from cat fights the owners, Jeff and Devin, seem to humour them as if they were naughty children a role which they often live up to. 4 Amanda Sommers the fabulously vein front desk receptionist of Mode in popular show ‘Ugly Betty’ answers phones occasionally while both helping and terrorizing resident ugly duckling Betty Suarez. Ask her anything about sex and she’ll answer you in detail but ask her to count and the out-for-lunch sign goes up behind her eye-balls. She’s shallow enough to tread heavily on everyone’s feelings in her designer stilettos and clueless enough not to even know she’s done anything wrong. The wickedly pathetic Amanda adds her own little something to the show that I suspect we would miss if she left. 3 The Coconuts a home grown TV show brought us the immense wisdom of the one called Beyonce. This ex-white ex-blond will not be caught dead without her trademark fake blonde locks. Staying true to her roots she is easily distracted by shiny objects and half price sales. 2. Miss Paris Hilton has deigned to grace our screens in her new show ‘Paris Hilton’s My New Bff’ on MTV bringing us yet another pointless series. Paris has to be the smartest dumb blonde on the list, turning a sex scandal into a multi-million dollar empire and somehow transforming her infamy into fame with her ‘helpless little girl’ wide eyed looks and ‘I’m actually really nice’ smiles. This girl has taken the dumb blonde stereotype and twisted it to suit her purpose so whether it’s just a dumb-act or dumb-luck she only takes second under suspicion of hidden intelligence. 1 Taking the Number one spot is Kendra one of the famous trio of Hugh Heffner’s girlfriends from the hit E! reality show The Girls Next Door. Already known for her irritating laugh and low IQ we realise the depths of her idiocy in her new show Kendra. Not only is she dumb enough to leave the luxury of the Playboy Mansion in the first place but now minus maids and butlers we discover her inability to cook clean decorate and generally function as a responsible independent human being.