Carole A. Parker

EXT. SUBURBAN HOME - NIGHT A small, quaint Craftsman bungalow with a white picket fence. One of a row of such homes safely nestled on a bucolic, picture-perfect suburban side street. The stuff of bland. INT. SUBURBAN HOME - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT A young GIRL (16) and BOY (16) sit on opposite ends of a big, sloppy couch watching a movie on TV. He’s got a pizza on his lap. She’s got a giant container of ice cream on hers. GIRL KILL ‘em. Kill ‘em ALL. Meet BETTIE BEE. A bit on the chubby side. If it weren’t for her large ears that stick out like fins, she’d be quite cute. The braces don’t help. Neither does the short, pixie haircut. BOY (hands in front of his eyes) Let me know when it’s OVER -Meet LONNY SCHMERZLER. ‘Fat’ would be a compliment. His girth threatens to overpower the couch. Bettie’s best -- and only friend. He sneaks a look between pudgy fingers. LONNY Oh my GOD. BETTIE But this is the best PART. She SHOVELS IN a mouthful of ice cream -BETTIE (CONT’D) (burbles) Carrie gets REVENGE. And as she speaks, some of it DROOLS onto her chin. ON THE TV We see the climactic prom scene from CARRIE. Sissy Spacek is covered in BLOOD -- and is KILLING all the students that teased her with telekinetic powers. A FIRE HOSE rises up like a snake and SHOOTS WATER at them -causing the kids to FLY into the walls. EXT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - NIGHT Hiding in the bushes is a YOUNG KID (17), aiming a smart phone at the living room window, videotaping them. Meet READY HAND, a fresh-scrubbed, good-looking jock type. ON THE PHONE (CONTINUED) 2. CONTINUED: We see ice cream drip down Bettie’s chin. READY (O.C.) (whispers) Sweet. INT. ANOTHER SUBURBAN HOME - BEDROOM - NIGHT Another JOCK (17) watches the video stream on his laptop. Chugs a can of Lite Ice Draft. Meet BRAD STIFLE, captain of the football team. You know -- and hate -- the type too well. BRAD This is fucking AWESOME. His cell phone CHIRPS. He picks up. Listens. BRAD (CONT’D) Ready? Yeah. I’m watching it -(listens) I know. Friendbook RULES. (listens) EVERYBODY’S watching it? NICE. INT. SUBURBAN GIRL’S BEDROOM - NIGHT Done up like some kind of Hello Kitty nightmare from hell. And who the hell has a George Michael poster anymore? Watching the stream on her laptop is MUFFIN HEATHER (17), the most popular girl in school. Heartbreakingly beautiful. And mean as a junkyard dog. She brays into her smart-phone. MUFFIN OMG. It’s feeding time at the ZOO. (listens) I KNOW. The fat leading the FAT. (listens) The White Precious? LMAO. I SO did not hear you SAY that. (looks at her phone) Got another call, BRB -INT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - LIVING ROOM - NIGHT Bettie picks up the remote. PUNCHES the TV off. Shakes her head with wonder. Digs a big spoonful of ice cream from the container. Shovels it in. Swallows. BETTIE That’s my favorite movie EVER. Lonny picks up the last slice of pizza. Folds it in half lengthwise. Puts it up to his mouth -LONNY It was too scary. I like funny movies. (CONTINUED) 3. CONTINUED: And INHALES it. Bettie watches him. Impressed. BETTIE You could win a contest. He BURPS. Smiles happily. Tries to get up off the couch. LONNY Yeah, well. Anyway. I gotta split. Lonny tries to lurch forward. No go. Bettie gets up. Offers him a hand. He looks at it, upset. LONNY (CONT’D) I can do it. Hold on -He STRUGGLES to move. Bettie sighs. BETTIE C’mon, Lonny. We always go through this. It’s okay. Nothing to be embarrassed about. Strains to get up. No go. LONNY Shit. BETTIE Lonny, C’MON. GRABS her hand. She helps him get up. LONNY Thanks. BETTIE You can pick the movie next time, okay? He nods. Looks at her shyly. LONNY Uh -BETTIE What’s wrong? LONNY Nothing. (beat) I was wondering if -(beat) Uh -- nothing. BETTIE What? (CONTINUED) 4. CONTINUED: (2) LONNY If you’d, uh -(beat) Go to, uh -- the prom with me. BETTIE Oh gosh, Lonny. (off his crestfallen look) Can I -- think about it? PUSH IN ON Lonny’s face. Deflated. LONNY Yeah, sure. (beat) Take your time. INT. BETTIE’S BEDROOM - NIGHT Swooning teenage girl decor run riot. JUSTIN BIEBER and TWILIGHT posters. Science fair and mathlete prize-winning ribbons. Odd random stuff. A globe. Bust of Einstein. Bettie sits at her desk in her jammies, ready for bed. She CLICKS a bookmark with her mouse, and we see on the screen -FRIENDBOOK A social networking site. She has a TON of posts on her personal page. And a link to a video. She CLICKS on it. THE VIDEO Pops up. We see hand-held footage of Bettie shoveling ice cream in her mouth in slow-motion. Eyes glued to the TV. BETTIE’S Mouth OPENS. BETTIE What the HELL? She reads the caption below the link: NOT ABLE TO FIND A MATE, THE HIPPO WILL FEED UNTIL IT BURSTS. BETTIE (CONT’D) WHAT? Tears in her eyes, she starts reading the posts. BETTIE (CONT’D) Just got a call from Baskin Robbins. They said they’re down to three flavors -(beat) Muffin Heather? That BITCH. (MORE) (CONTINUED) 5. CONTINUED: BETTIE (CONT’D) (reads another one) Would you hit it? Yeah, with a two-byfour! (gasps) LOL! Now that’s what I call super-sized. (gasps) Is it true you use a mattress for a tampon? LMFAO! She SLAPS the laptop closed. Tears start pouring down her cheeks. She gets up. JUMPS into bed. Pulls the covers over her head. Starts softly SOBBING. INT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING Quaint. Homey. Stuffed with every cooking utensil imaginable. Standing over the stove cooking is BERNARD BEE (50’s), Bettie’s father. Quintessential absent-minded professor. Shock of white hair. Kindly eyes. A bit plump. Right now he’s softly whistling. He tastes the sauce in the pot with a wooden spoon. BERNARD Mmm. Eat my shorts, Rachel Ray. Bettie trudges into the kitchen sadly. Sits at the table. Sighs. Bernard turns around. Sees her. BERNARD (CONT’D) There’s my princess. Good MORNING. (beat) Why so glum? Pause. BETTIE I’m being -- cyber-bullied. BERNARD Cyber-bullied? BETTIE I’m being bullied -- online. BERNARD I don’t understand. How can someone bully you on the interwebs? BETTIE Someone shot a video of me eating ice cream last night and POSTED it on Friendbook. Then everybody made COMMENTS on it and MADE FUN OF ME. She drops her head. Sniffles back tears. (CONTINUED) 6. CONTINUED: BERNARD Oh, dear. He comes over. Sits down. Looks at her with love in his eyes. Softly touches her chin. She looks up at him sadly. BERNARD (CONT'D) Darling, they’re just kids. Ignore them. Turn the other cheek. I know it might not seem like it now, but this too shall pass. Believe it or not, there IS life after high school. BETTIE I know -BERNARD Many of the greatest minds on the planet weren’t understood in their youth -(beat) I was beaten up every day after school, and look how I turned out. He spreads his arms. His bathrobe falls open. We see he’s wearing hot pink boxer shorts. BETTIE (giggles, embarrassed) Dad. Bernard looks down. Horrified. Ties his robe closed. BERNARD Your mother got me those -(beat) I know what you need -- some breakfast. Just WAIT until you taste my pasta sauce. BETTIE But, Dad. Nobody eats pasta for BREAKFAST. BERNARD Well, darling -- we’re not just anybody, are we? INT. VENISON HIGH SCHOOL - LUNCH ROOM - DAY The joint is packed with STUDENTS eating, talking, laughing. Bettie and Lonny carry their trays to an empty table. Sit. LONNY Cheer up, Bettie. I’m sure it’ll blow over in a day or two. Bettie picks up her burger. Looks at it. Puts it back down. (CONTINUED) 7. CONTINUED: BETTIE Even Brad was in on it. LONNY Brad Stifle? You’ve still got a crush that jerk? MALE VOICE (V.O.) WHO’S a jerk? Reveal Brad Stifle. Standing next to their table. With Ready Hand. And BERT BALL (17), big, mean and dumb -- and WHIT WIGGINS (17), tall, thin and very well-groomed. LONNY Uh -Brad GRABS Bettie’s burger off her plate. Takes a big bite of it. THROWS it back down. Chews violently. BRAD Oh, I’m SORRY. Were you gonna EAT that? (off her blank stare) Loved you online last night, Dopey. I didn’t know Animal Planet had a show about PIGS. READY Sure. Didn’t you hear? She’s the new spokesperson for BOAR’S HEAD. Cause she’s got a BOAR’S HEAD. They HIGH-FIVE. LONNY C’mon, guys -- leave her alone. Bert SLAPS Lonny on the side of the head. LONNY (CONT’D) OW. BERT Who gave YOU permission to speak, fat boy? WHIT So when you two fuck, I would imagine Elephant Girl has to be on top, right? BRAD Thanks for the visual, Whit. I’m gonna spew my tuna melt. READY Don’t worry, Brad -- Dumbo here will Hoover it right up. (CONTINUED) 8. CONTINUED: (2) BERT What’s a Hoover? WHIT What did I tell you about trying to think, Bert? BRAD C’mon, guys. Let’s blow this feeding trough. The smell of PORK is starting to make me sick. They chuckle. Turn and leave, laughing to themselves. Bettie swallows. Looks like she’s gonna cry. She starts to get up. LONNY You okay? BETTIE I have to go to the ladies’ room -FEMALE VOICE (V.O.) Well, look who we have here. It’s the newest REALITY TV STAR. Reveal Muffin Heather and her popular clique. MUFFIN Have you heard? She’s gonna be the new host of AMERICAN PIE-HOLE. GRETCHEN VANVOORHIS (17), hot, tall, thin, Swedish and horribly blonde smiles nastily. GRETCHEN Are you, like sure about that? I heard she was hosting MEAL OR NO MEAL. TILA TRAN (15), Asian, gorgeous and tiny chimes in. Eyes sparkling with malice. TILA BUZZ. Wrong, my Swedish meatball. Tubbo here’s gonna be the star of FAT FACTOR. RONNIE RODRIGUEZ (17), Latina spitfire, SNORTS with laughter. RONNIE As IF, sista. She’s gonna be the new host of AMERICA’S GOT VOMIT. EMERALD GREEN (16), black and feisty SNAPS her fingers. EMERALD You’re ALL wrong -- I heard she’s gonna star in THE DEADLIEST SNATCH. (CONTINUED) 9. CONTINUED: (3) MUFFIN OhmiGOD. I so can’t believe you just SAID that. They break into LAUGHTER. Bettie LEAPS UP out of her chair and RUNS AWAY. PUSH IN ON Lonny’s face. A tear in his eye. INT. UNIVERSITY MEDICAL LAB - DAY Clean. Antiseptic. A row of work tables. Cabinets and shelves stuffed with equipment. At one table stands Bernard. Working amid a mass of test tubes, beakers, and electrical equipment. A WHITE RABBIT sits in a small cage. He hums softly to himself. BERNARD And now, the moment of truth. He turns around. Opens a briefcase. Takes out a plastic soda bottle. Places it on the counter. Turns to a video recorder on a tripod facing the cage. Turns it on. BERNARD (CONT’D) Testing, testing -- one, two, three -(beat) This is Bernard Bee, professor of science at the University of Venison medical lab, where I am about to conduct an astounding experiment. (dramatic pause) I am about to make this animal DISAPPEAR, right before your eyes. He picks up the bottle. Starts to screw it open. A fountain of SODA POP comes WHOOSHING out, drenching his hand. BERNARD (CONT’D) DRAT. Bernard puts down the bottle. SHUTS off the recorder. Goes to the sink. Rinses off his hands. Wipes them with a towel. BERNARD (CONT’D) You stupid old coot. You brought the WRONG bottle -INT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - DAY Bettie comes in the side door. SLAMS it shut. Goes to the fridge. Opens it. Starts foraging for a snack. She pulls out a box of donuts. Grabs a bottle of soda. BETTIE Got the last one -- (CONTINUED) 10. CONTINUED: She goes to the table. Sits. Opens the box. SHOVES a donut in her mouth. INHALES it. Opens the soda. CHUGS it down. Her face turns GREEN. She GAGS. Looks at the bottle. BETTIE (CONT'D) What WAS that? (thinks) I thought the cap wasn’t -(closes her eyes) Don’t feel so good. And then, right before our eyes, she slowly DISAPPEARS. All we see is her T-shirt, jeans and shoes. She shakes her head. Gets up. Walks out of the room into -INT. BETTIE’S HOUSE - BATHROOM - DAY Bettie goes to the sink. Turns on the water to splash her face. Looks in the mirror. Sees what’s happened. Freaks out. BETTIE (V.O.) Oh my GOD. She RACES out of the room into -INT. BETTIE’S BEDROOM - DAY RUNS over to her dresser. Looks in the mirror. Sees the same thing. She touches her face. BETTIE (V.O.) I’m INVISIBLE. (beat) It must have been one of my dad’s formulas -(beat) He’s gonna KILL me. (beat) What do I do? What do I DO? A long pause. BETTIE (V.O.) (CONT'D) WAIT a minute. She KICKS OFF her shoes. Takes off her shirt. Her jeans. Now completely invisible. Chuckles a low, nasty laugh. BETTIE (V.O.) (CONT'D) Now I can get REVENGE.