Carissa Gordon

Important Factors to Consider in Your Close Relationships Our relationships define who we are. The people we surround ourselves with, as ageold advice has related upon us, are the people we become. And it’s true. Surround yourself with liars and you’ll become a liar. Surround yourself with awesome people, and you, too, will be an awesome person. And while that’s great advice, sometimes it can be a lot harder to judge people when we’re in the middle of getting to know them. We tend to look at our new friendships and relationships through rose-colored glasses. So, what should we look for in people before we invite them into our personal lives? Sincerity Okay, so everyone lies. It’s kind of unavoidable. People lie for all sorts of reasons, many of them which have nothing to do with you or your relationship with the person. Maybe they’re embarrassed about something they did. Maybe they’re afraid of hurting your feelings. Although being a completely honest person may not actually be possible for many people, it’s more important that the people around you be sincere. Sincerity means their intentions in life are clear. The people they care about are people they truly care about. They will be by your side. They will listen to you and talk to you about what is important. They honestly want what is best for you. Content We all get sad. We all have bad days, or get angry and do stupid things. And that’s okay. It’s what makes us human. Happiness, like all emotions, is fleeting. So, looking for a happy person is a waste of time. We’re all happy sometimes, just like we’re all sad sometimes. However, it’s important to surround yourself with people who are content. Content with their lives, their jobs, their place in the world. It’s pretty hard to be content with your life when everyone around you is in a state of near-constant discontent with their work, their family, or just the world in general. Surround yourself with people who are glad to be living the life they are living. Not-so-Serious I don’t mean people who take their lives seriously and try to better themselves. That’s a good quality to have. However, if someone gets easily bothered by everything- like someone driving too slowly in front of them- that may be a sign that it’s your time to make a graceful exit from the relationship. Why? Well, people like this are toxic. Taking yourself or life in general too seriously is a sign of a dangerously toxic person. Why would anyone want to be angry or upset all the time? Responsible No, I don’t mean all your friends have to have a go-getter attitude and be working towards a doctorate in neuropsychology. What I do mean, is personal responsibility. It’s important to surround yourself with people who are willing to take responsibility for their actions, and realize that their actions are their responsibility alone. If you have a friend that’s a perpetual victim, you know what I’m talking about. You know how soul-sucking a close friendship can be with someone who literally never does anything wrong and bad things just happen to them at no fault of their own. I mean, feel free to be friends with people who have really bad luck. Just make sure if that bad luck is the result of their own actions, they’re at least willing to admit that and try to change their actions going forward. Compassionate All people should be compassionate. I’m serious. Young children should be forced to take a class on compassion in grade school. This is literally one of the most important aspect of interpersonal relationships, which unfortunately, a large portion of the population has chosen to ignore, or just simply never learned. But compassion is the key to having a happy life, and in fact, it’s really the key to having all the other traits listed in this article. Be compassionate to others. Be compassionate to yourself. Be compassionate to the guy that just cut you off in traffic. And surround yourself with like-minded people.