Auz Burger

The poster itself didn't seem very exciting. It was a poster of a clown standing still in the middlecenter, holding a balloon and smiling widely. He had two legs, his face was completely symmetrical, and from his expression, he seemed pretty normal. How boring. Back when the Golden Circus had that elephant —- they had an amazing poster! Once I and my father and I had left the diner, I had seensaw that colorful piece of paper all over the street. They’d glued them around the town inches apart from one another. How could did we miss those in thethis morning? I wondered. Never mind. Now when that I did knoew about them and knew that the nearest next show was tonight, there was not a thing in the world that could have stopped me from watching the showgoing. Father was silent. I know knew that he had been worried from the moment he had seensaw the expectation excitement on my face. He noticed the changes in me long before I myself could have seen itdid —- how I had smiled to at the customers that arrived that day, and tried not to forget what order they had asked fortheir orders. The more radiant I had seemed, the more worried he had beengrew from for the second that my bubble would pope. "It's just one show," he reminded me. "We are only going to get a clear, closer look, and not for an audition." In exchange, I hugged him tight and thanked him. In the back of my mind, there was already a vision of the show. What a treat that this would be! I could already see the exotic animals that have waited for me, the acrobats doing their act, the man that would shoot himself out of a can! The show in my mind that was heavily based on the Golden Circus’ show, and it was so spectacular in my mind that when we had reached therearrived, I had expected to see a big top standing and a few smaller tents. The closer we wentgot, the clearer it became that there was one tent, which was too small for me to call a big top. There was a small cart of food and a broken, wooden ticket booth, not too far. It seemed much more like a children child’s made make-believe game than a circus. Father seemed pleased. If it was different from the Golden Circus, it was better in his mind. "What are you sayingdo you say? Are we going in?" For a second, I have lost my strength. Though Tthis small tent could never be compared to the Golden Circus big top, and it felt like we betrayed our past. "It seemed seems a bit dull." It pleased him. "You’re right, it's probably overrated," he turned back and started to walk away. His decision to run triggered me. I grabbed his arm and said, "It better be fun." We stand stood in at the back o if the line, which was shorter than I had expected. The more we got closer we grew, the more my father had trembled to breath. By the time we reached the man who sold the tickets, my father’s face were was red. The old man who sat in the booth seemed to melooked three times older than my father. He barely looked at us when he named the price. Father shook him his head as he handed over when he gave him the wrinkly bills. "There you go," he had almostnearly thrown threw on us the tickets at us. And that's it. We were in. And inside the tent was not even a half of what the Golden Circus was. Their grandstand had no back, there was a smaller number of seaits, and the ring was about two two-thirds of the ring that I knew. We sat next to a senior couple while theyand waited for the show. Father opened one button in his shirt. "Well? Is this what you had expected?" I shrugged. "SoSo, they are new in this business, it doesn't make them bad." The lights turned off. They lighten up the spotlight in the middle of the ring. Out of the shadows came out a tall man, wearing a red velvet coat and a top hat. He waved around, greeting the not soaudience, which was not really a crowded people. "Ladies and gentlemen, how are you all this evening? Welcome, all to the Magnificent Circus! We’re all thrilled to see you here! Boy, what a great show is waiting for you tonight!" Father sighed. He probably wondered why there was no grand entrancey. I was more focused on the ringmaster. He sure blubbered a lot, but his charisma and selfassured stanced was defianitely a result of many years of speaking in public. At In the dim of lights, my father and I looked at each other, wondering the same thing. The ringmaster presented announced the first performanceperformer, the strongest man on earth, as he called him. "Watch closely," he said, as he let a giant enter the ring, "as our Bruce is lifting over fifty times his weight!" We cringed on our sits hearing this lie. One of the seniors that had sat next to me opened his eyes for a second, and then immediately returned back to sleep. Bruce had carried with him two large metal weights. They were big, and although most of the people probably wouldn't probably have succeeded to carry those, for the strongest man alive, it would bewas probably a child’s play. He rose up those babies above his shoulders, his face smug as if he had dared the audience to try and stay calm on their seaits. I crossed my arms and arched my back. As impressive as it was, this was a beginner's show. Bruce had none of the stone coldstone-cold face that most of the circus artists had, and he didn't know yet how to build expectation anticipation from his audience. The ringmaster gestured toward Bruce. He called, "what are you saying? Amazing! Isn't it?" Not even a half of the audience clapped. Bruce waved around smiling and stepped out of the rung ring as quickly as he came. My father coughed. "And now, for our next performance! Have you ever been witness to a sigh so bizarre that you couldn't have stopped yourself from scratching your head and wondering how could this thing be possible? Our next performance would will redefine the limits of gravity, of the human balance, and of strength! Let me introduce you all to Linda, our little jewel!" She was far better than Bruce, coming out of the back as she walked above on a that giant ball. As it rolled under her feet, she took out of her pocket three tiny balls out of her pocket which and she started to juggle. With her long skirt, the amount of effort that she must have givenit must have taken in to not step on her dress must have been incredible. My father’s face twisted. "She is so unbalanced," he mumbled, "if she won't stop worrying so much, she would will ruin her own act." I hushed him. He was right. She looked around nervously. Was she expecting claps? To Gasps of awe gazes? Whatever she had wished for, she was too busy to starelooking for it instead of around and search for it rather than making sure that she was balanced on her ball. As she rolled in the center of the ring, she stepped on her skirt edge, and the smaller balls fall fell from her hands as she tripped down. The comical way her eyes widened made some of the audience laughs. The ringmaster hurry hurried to pull help her to stand, "ho well, nothing happened. Some solid ground and, she is fine! It's all just part of the show. Dear audience, please clap for the act." We did clap, though poor Linda seemed close to tears. She hurried to disappear over the sidewall. I could keep describing the rest of the performance, of Lucy, the bearded lady, who came to the stage to sing and faked all of her notes. Of Jimmy, the brave swordsman who cut himself inside by accident when he swallowed up his sword. Of Marcus, the human troche torch who failed to lighten himself up, and so on and so on. They all —- and I'm saying this with a wounded heart —- had to make have more rehearsalses, had to learn to stop looking around to see the reactionsat the audience, and they seriously needed a new wardrobe. There is only one more act that I will describe. At the very end, when the vine vein popped on in the ringmaster's face. "Ladies and gentlemen! I hope you’re all prepared. We have saved the best to befor last! Our final act is about to knock you off your feet! Please help us welcome our boy, Zack and his friend Rex!" Nobody clapped when he came insideentered the ring, pushing in front of him a big cage covered with cloth. When he removed the cloth, revealing the lion, we all gasped in surprise suddenly paying rapt attention, When he uncovered the lion we all got his attention, only until we realized that this the lion was lay inside and didn't really seem to cared about what he has seen aroundthe audience. The old beast didn't even rowerroar. His trainer walked behind him. He opened the cage door and whistled, getting Rex’s attention. "Here boy," he said. His pet yawned, probably thinking, "How Ohwell, it's this time again." He walked outside slowly, getting himself into the moodseeming bored. The trainer, Zack, put a hoop in the center of the ring. My eyes locked on his tall figure. Animal trainers always were my favorites —- after acrobats and magicians, of course. He pushed the cage back so Rex would have more space to run. He turned over to the audience and whistled. "Rex, go!" The lion yawned. He arched his back and scratched before turning the other side. His age tell on himshowed when he started to run in circles. When he finally got over to the hoop and jumped in, he’d already lost most of the audience’s attention. I clapped along with those who did saw it. "Finally," I whispered to my father, "at least someone here does havehas experience." My father raised one eyebrow. "Their show is so low, and now you’re getting excited from an old lion?" He was right. Poor Rex had no strength to continue formake another jump. Right after this the first jump, he walked over to his cage, laid down, and returned to sleep. The ringmaster ran back insideinto the ring. The clapping cheered him up. "Thank you all, ladies and gentlemen! We really hope that you enjoyed from this event as much as we did!" "That's it?" Whispered a lady next to me. "What a scam!" "We had paid to see that?" "Outrage!" "Only one animal? And so old!" To say that I felt disappointed would not even scratch how I felt. My father, on the other hand, seemed pleased. We rose up from our seaits and everyone ran out of the tent. He looked around, "well, this was… something. Where do you think the kiosk is located?" "This was not even an armature circus, it was a disgrace! Disgrace!" I clenched my fists. "Not that I had expected anything, it's just… no." Father turned left. "I think I have seensaw the sign pointed in this direction. Probably next to the exit, right?" "And there was no band! What is a circus without any music? That's what makes the shows good!" "Ha! Here it is!" He finally located the tin cartonsouvenir cart. Right next to the exit, as he said. His smile fall fell the more we camewhen we got close and he couldn't see anyone standing near it. "They must have sold out early." "And the only animal that was there was that poor lion! Only one animal! How can it be a circus without an elephant or a giraffe? And in the absence of those, what about a horse?" Father tapped on my back. He probably thought about the Carmelcaramel apples for, the whole show. "Well, don't be too disappointed. After this tonight you won't see them ever again." I froze at once. My lungs squeezed. Father frowned. "What's wrong?" It was like a vision, flashing before of my eyes. I could have seen them, the bench bunch of armateurures, folding back their tent into the train. I could have seeen them driving to their next station and performing their sad excuse for entertainment in front of an audience half of the audience size that was here tonight. I could have seen them make a fools of themselves and their pockets emptied. It hurt me. I looked at my father's eyes. "We can't leave them." He looked up to the sky as if he wanted to ask God 'why me?’ "It's not our problem." "Yes, it is! Look around you!" The truth that was crystal clear to me was not visciblevisible to my father’s eyes. "Those people aren’t inexperienced. We are. We came here for a reason. We can help them!" Commented [AB10]: Is this the souvenir cart? Commented [‫לב‬11]: Yes, can be. Father tried to remain calm. "We came because we thought it wouldas fun. And it wasn't. And now since there are no candies here to sellbuy, I suggest that we return back to our home." My lower lip shook. "This is our home! That place that we slept in until now is just a passing through. We can get our old life back!" "Why would we do this, when we just started to build our new life?" I took a step back. The stung of betrayal hurt me. "You’re kidding. We are not fitting in to that life." "What is the basis of that thought? One month?" "Father!" He kissed my forehead and walked away. "I'm going to see if there is someone filling the stock here. Wait here." "Dad!" I tapped on the solid ground. He ignored my rage attack and kept searching for another circus workers. My temper came to its height. It wasn't fair. Why was I the only one who saw it? Could my father forget who he was so fast? "You seemed quite taken by the show." I turned away to say totell whoever it was to mind his own business and froze. His face was even more pale from than the poster and it shined in the moonlight;, and maybe that is the reasonwas why I thought that his eyes were glowing. He sat on the kiosk cart, holding a red balloon in his left hand. "Do you want a balloon?" I scanned him. This was him, in the flashflesh. The very clown I had seen on the poster. "You didn't act in the show." His smile was so thin,; I almost mistook his face for a mask. "No, I didn't." "Were you in charge of the snacks?" Out of everything I had seen that evening, this was probably the most ridiculous. He was wearing a dark blue suit with ridiculously large buttons. Although his costume was not half as good as other costumes I ha’d seen, he was clearly supposed to be a clown. He shrugged. "This is one of my many responsibilities." "Then why were you on the poster? That is misleading. Some of the children might be disappointed." "Did you come here only to see me on the ring?" I frowned. His voice was so calm. Calm voices are the worst in my mind. You can never tell if they are mocking you. "No, but I expected to see you." He gestures gestured at himself. "Well, you might see me in a future show. We'll We'd sure be happy to see you again." He was mocking me, no doubt. I walked closer to him, standing straight so he would see that I was'm not taken by anything he said to me. "In the Golden Circus, if you a’re an artist that misses one a show, then you must be dead." He gave me his balloon, and I started to play with its string. "You know the Golden Circus?" I nod. "Up until last month, I worked with my father there." He wasn't impressed by it, and it did shock me a bit. The Golden Circus was, after all, my resource of pride. "What role were you playing?" "My father is a magician. And I was his assistant. We did magic tricks all over the land!" "Really? Such as what?" It was the first time in a while that someone enquires inquired about my life in the circus, someone who knew what I was talking about. I told him —- hesitatanted at first, and then excited —- about my father's show and how spectacular it was. He didn't rush me or stopped me, just let me spill out all. If it wasn't for the way his eyes followed me, I would have been assured thatthought I was talking to a dead body or a prop. When I finished talkingtalking, he said, "Sounds like you really like the show business." I had to disagree with him. My hand pulled the balloon down, closer to my chest. "I don't really like it! I'm in love with it." He tilted his head to the aside. "I heard you saying that you can help us. What did you mean?" If I were not so darizzled by his sudden interest, I would have asked myself how he’d could heard me and where was he when I said it. Unfortunately for me, the thing that I was alwaysone of my talented talents at was to speak what I thought, and the slightest sign of interest made me talk. SoSo, I started, "some of your outfits, for example. They ruin the acts!" "Is that so?" "Yes! And some of your artists are obvious armaturesamateurs. We can see it on their faces." He didn't show any sign of being offended or thankful for my review. He simply looked into my eyes and said, "Well, as long as they are happy, there is no reason to change it." His words confused me. I was so sure that when he'll heard some of my tips, he would… well, he wouldn't be thrilled, but he'dll want to know my opinion. I asked, "Don’t you all want to be better?" "That’s nNot as important as doing what you love. And doing those shows, professionally or not, makes them feel like there is a place for them in the world. It keeps us together." The hint in his words was too thick. I felt myself blushing out of embarrassment. "Do you always spy on your audience?" The empty gaze he had annoyed me. He should have been at least partly ashamed, I swear it. "If you didn't like our show, why do you want to join us?" Sometimes, when someone asks you the smallest question, you feel like your world have has been shattered. When my father decided that we shouldn't join them, he didn't ask me. He tried to force me to change my mind. When our manager asked me why, I knew that he didn't really care. I cleared my throat; when I spoke, my voice was so small, "because the circus is my home." "Not because you are a magician’s assistant, who wants to show tricks all over the land?" "I am more than just a magician’s assistant. I juggle, I can walk on a thin rope, I can sing, and I can dance." "And that makes you worthy to of the circus?" My lower lip shakeshook. After all, I was more than worthy to of the circus. I said, "I am the best performer your circus can imagine." That was a stupid answer, one that once I said it, I knew I shouldn't have.. He didn't seem to approved or daringcare much about my response, he just watched me with that flat stare. Years later, I asked myself if he knew that this apathy of him his was what triggered me, or if it was it only the next words alonehe said, "we’re leaving this place tomorrow. North. To the cold." When I didn't respond he kept going, "Uncle Jo —- my boss —- wouldn't be too thrilled keen to on letting someone new to audition after a bad show." Something spread in my chest. It wasn't defeated. It was a my fighting spirit. "So, you’re saying I have no chance?" He shook his head ever so slightly; it was almost like he didn't move at all. "Not today." "Cassandra!" I turned my head back. My father had stood next to the exit. "I should go now." The clown followed my eyes. "Hope for you that you'll succeed, Cassandra." There was no warmth tone or granulation in his voice. There was nothing that hinted atme what he wanted me to do. The plan that had started to come form in my head was all mine. 14 The second time Lucy tried to reach me was when I went out to take a piss, only a few hours later. "Are you okay?" I took a dramatic deep breath and look at everything but her. "Go away." "Do you want anything? A new dress? Soda? I've got some if you want." This was annoying. The most awful thing was that she almost sounded like she regrettedremorseful. She didn't fool me though. "Why are you nagging me? You don't even like me." "Just… making sure you are fine." Her words were so careful. She sounded like a little girl, talking to a wounded animal and trying to convince it not to be scared. Everything comes along. "I see. You couldn't make sure that she wais fine, so you’re taking your guilt out on me." "No," She she ran to stand in front of me. "I'm just making sure everything is fine with you." I could have smashed her head. "What is it with everyone today? Linda is the one who died! Of course, I'm sad, but at least you all can be more concerned about her and dedicate a few minutes to think about her! Her!" "We are!" Lucy grabbed my arm. I tried to free myself from her. "I am! All I can think about is her and her, and that I'm sorry! And that if I just wereasn't-" ," her voice broke, "If if I haven't hadn't been mean to her, what could have happened!" "You’re hurting me!" It just made her hold me tighter. There was something new when I looked at herin her face. Determination maybe. Or sorrow. Either way, it was a really weird emotion to see on her face out of all people. "I'm sorry, don't you understand?" She sounded desperate. "Enough with the pity!" My arm started to lose feeling. I kicked her, making her eyes widen in shock open and her hand leave left me. She lost her balance and fell back. Lucy raised her gaze looked up to at me. Her face crumpled. Her sight was muchShe looked like of a dog that was thrown from the a window. "Stop it," I said, this time much less aggressive. Formatted: Font: Italic "Let me help you." "I'm not her. And you can't replace her." She tried to talk, but she swallowed back the words, considering what to say before speaking. "You hate me?" "What? No!" "You do." Her hand started to dig into the dirt that filledbeneath her hand. "Not that I can blame you." This conversation annoyed me more and more. This was disgusting, sick even. I walked past her, looking far from hernot looking at her. "Can't you just once look past yourself?" I asked her quietly, not expecting her to hear me. "You can't change the history." * "Ladies and gentlemen!" Eliot announced with an overreacted exaggerated drama. "I'm proud to present to you the most amazing show yet. Prepare yourself for the incredible pair, the most amazing performers you'll ever see! Please welcome to the ring, dear 'Sword and Fist!'” Zack and I clapped as the two have walked into the ring. Jimmy and Bruce practiced together on a new act. Bruce was supposed to put Jimmy on his shoulders and give him his swords he shouldto swallow. "Boring," I whispered as Zack and I watched the show. Zack hushed me. "They’re still working on it." It didn't look like that. Bruce struggled to lift one weight with a straight back. Carrying Jimmy, a heavy man on his back and trying to holding his swords was a much more difficult challenge. I whispered to Zack, "Jimmy makes that even harder. He must stop wiggling; it just makes Bruce lose his balance. And they must add something extra or they'll lose the audience." "Give them a chance. It's their show act, after all." I crossed my handsarms. From the corner of my eye, I could have seensaw Lucy walking in, and my mood turned soure at onceinstantly. She stood in the entrance of the big top and searched for me in the audience. Commented [AB19]: This made me cry. Zack squeezed my hand. "Don't think of about her," he whispered to me, "she doesn't matter." I smiled at him. If it wasn't for Zack, I probably would have to loste my mind. Jimmy slipped. Bruce dropped the swords and tried to catch him, which unfortunately made him lose his balance by accident. Their falling was so comical,; I had almost thought they were practicing a clown performance. Zack was the first to run inside. I followed him, and while he helped Bruce, I pulled Jimmy up. "Are you alright?" Bruce shook brushed dirt off his clothes. Jimmy seemed to be embarrassed by the fact that a girl pulled helped him up and took a step back. I couldn't help myself. "Drop theis act. Bruce must practice more on his stand, and you need to work on your balance." Jimmy glared at me. I was already gotten used to those sightsthat. "Don't you have anything better to do?" "You could either hear it from me or from Uncle Jo:- your act is boring." "Cass," Zack tried to calm me down. "Drop it. They are our friends…" "Listen, Cassandra," Bruce interrupted him,; "you don't even get the chance to work on your own showact. What gives you the right to criticize us?" My voice remained calm and even, "if you want to do something together, you need to be more creative. How about an acting performance?" An idea started to come to me. A story that my father used to tell me before I fall fell asleep. "We could put some heavy items in the ring, and you can lift those items up. We'll put your heavy stuff like a brick or something…" "How impressive," Bruce grantedgrunted., "Then your weight or something. And then you can see a big rock and a sword on it. You'll pretend that you are excited, and you'll try to pull the sword from the rock and fail, and then you'll,-" I pointed oatn Jimmy, "-enter the ring." Zack didn't seem too thrilled and Jimmy seemed bored. Too bad that I was too excited to stop now. "You'll see the sword and you two can have a dialogue. Bruce would laugh that he is the strongest man alive and that you can't compete with him in any form. And then you'll pull the sword out of the rock. Bruce would be humiliated, he’ll leave and then you'll do your normal act." Bruce snoredscoffed. "Too complicated." "It can be amusing amd and funny act if you'll give it a chance." "Our act is easier, and more impressive," Jimmy claimed. He was had been nicer to me in the last few days, though he still didn't hadn't warmed up to me completely. "If we'll practice it enough." I wanted to argue with them that if they won't didn't stop this act they might hurt themselves. It was hard for me to keep quiet, and only the sight look that Zack gave me helped me. My eyes loweredr down. "Yes, maybe." My lack of anger was clear. It didn't bother them too much. They were already used to the fact that I had things to say about everything, and they learned to ignore me. Zack hugged me tightly. "Why won't don't you try again? We would love to see you practicingpractice." Jimmy shrugged. Bruce shrinked shrugged, thenthen grinned. "Alright. Step aside; this is going to be good." I smiled over at them. As Zack and I walked back to our sits seats I whispered to him, "my idea could have worked." "They wanted something of their own. Respect that." "I just want to help them," I answered. When we sit downnext to each other I whispered again, "I can make everyone here great, if they'll they'd only let me help them." Zack pulled me onto his lap. We watched as Bruce struggled to put Jimmy back on his shoulders. Later I have found out that Lucy listeneds to every word we have spokensaid. * "You still want your chance?" Hebi's voice took me by surprise. At In the last couple of weeks, I haven't hadn't seen or heard of him more than I could takemuch. He respected my anger and gave me some space. Or maybe he simply had better things to do. I don't know. While his absence was a blessing, I had no time to feel it. Everyone around was annoyed upset that they let Linda die; and how could she do that, but since they couldn't didn't have saved her, they turned to the next good best thing:- me. Jimmy and Bruce, after talking with Zack, pretended that they were actually interested in my idea for their act. Eliot tried to help me around. Jaime nodded towardat me. Their hypocrisy was burning, and it made me to be bitter to ward them alleveryone even more. Hebi sat next to me on the grass. We weren't too far from the big top, and we couldclose enough to have hear thed their voices as they performedof the others practicing. "I thought they would give you a chance by now." "Go away." He poked my elbow. "Is that a way to treat your friend?" "Go away." "You already said thait." I shut my mouth, sure that if I'll remained silent he'll he'd leave. It was hard for me to admit that I did missed him, and that his presence made me feel much better. So instead, I looked away. Hebi cut in. "You still want that, right? Your own chance." My hand toyed with the grass under meit. "We have an blank open space now." My ears rang. For a second, I forget how to breathe. "Sorry?" "You heard me. You can have your chance now." If there was a chance that after this talk we will could go be back to the same level of friendship we were had before, now it was goneit was erased in that moment. My lungs were tight. "You are kidding me." "Lucy said that you already thought about some ideas. What did you have in mind? Magic tricks? Juggling?" "That bitch is involved! Of course!" I stood up. My cheeks flushed red. I hoped that he could have seen how furious I was. "Is that what you need to do to win your chance in this place? To wait until someone else would dies?" "What other skills do you have?" "This is sick!" My whole body shook with rage. I've started to walk away. "I'm leaving.?" I heard a heavy sound of something falling. I assume it was Hebi's body, lying on the ground. He then said, "And where would you go? You have no one else but us." "That's not true at all! I can go back to my father!" "Do you really think that he'll forgive you after you left him alone?" My vision was red. "I told you, he understands me." Hebi knew that I never read the papers, and now he used it to his advanceadvantage. Successfully, he planted the seed of doubt inside of me. * That night, I was with Rex and Zack at in the back after their show. Everyone else atewas eating, but Rex felt bad sick, so we were with him. Zack brushed my hand when he saw how angry I was, and easyly, without rushing, he convinced me to tell him everything. When I did, he nodded. "You should say yes." My eyes grew wide. "What?" "It's your chance. You have dreamed about this for so long…" "It's spitting on Linda's memory." Zack shook his head. "No. It's the opposite. Don't you understand? They are trying to make up for what they have doneid." I look at him, disappointed. All I could think about was how disgusting it was to do this to Linda, and how disappointed she must would be if she sees saw me. Why did no one else realise realize it? Zack grabbed my arms. He looked at me, his expression was so serious so much that it was hurting. "Look, you can hold garrudage against them. What But would it help you?" "I just want him to regret. what they did,” I said." "It's not who he is. Alright? He does regret it, though. That's his way to of showing it." My face darkened. "There are so many better ways to say that he is sorry. He should have appeared more regretfulremorseful; criedy over her—-!" "I thought you hated hypocrisy." "I do! I want him to feel the need to cry for her!" "He does not. And if his way of showing it is to give you your rightful chance;, you should accept it." I narrowed my eyes. "Why?" Zack brushed my arms. With a low and steady voice, he said, "Hebi is your friend. And he is a better friend than Linda ever was to you. Trust me, he wants you to forgive him, but he is just not the type that would come to you and would tell you that he is sorry." "He should!" "He won't. And he is does regretting about how he treated Linda. She was a sensitive bitch, and he didn't think that she'll she’d actually kill herself. He didn't like her, and he would never act like he is sorry about her. Also, be honest here: the fact that everyone here pretended that they are were sad about Linda hurt you." I bite my lower lip. His eyes focused on my teeth's. "Maybe I wouldn't have minded if he was faking it." "You willwould. And he hates that hypocrisy too. So, while he does not pretend he to regret, he does try to make up for what he did. That's why you should accept his offer." My cheeks were burning. I didn't know if I wanted to strangle him or kiss him. He was right, as much as I didn't want to admit it. Zack smiled. He leanded toward me. His lips touched mine before I realized it, and every drop of anger that was still in my bones gone. "You'll see. This is a fresh start for all of us."