Ani Clinton Ifeanyi

THE MODERN AFRICAN WOMAN AND SEX “I hate society’s notion that there is something wrong with sex. Something wrong with a woman who loves sex” – Alessandra Torre. The debate over the sexuality of women and how they express it has been an age long discourse for women across the world. While women in more civilized climes have broken some of the boundaries of sex placed on them, for women in Africa, the surface of these boundaries have only just been scratched. The repressive and problematic stance on the sexuality of African women is ably carried out by the coordinated weapons of religion and cultural repression. Ironically, this repression of sexual expression of African women through religious and cultural means was also fostered by colonialism. The colonialists, while coming to Africa, came along with their repressive Victorian views and traditions on sexuality and women. Even though women were already being boxed sexually in Africa, they felt there were still traces of promiscuity in the African system. And so for the colonialists, they were the saviours, sent to rid Africa and Africans of its promiscuity using religious and cultural reorientation. Sadly, these methods worked perfectly. The Stifled Sexuality of the African Woman and The Role Culture and Religion Plays. In most African societies, there is an overwhelming tilt of sexual and other societal privileges towards men. This is further enhanced by religion and culture which restricts women to certain guidelines. These guidelines range from as extreme as sexual choices to simple choices in fashion. Female genital mutilation (FGM) and infibulation are two of some of the cultural means which was adopted to control the sexual disposition and expression of women. According to the societies which practice these methods, these acts are carried out in order to curb promiscuity in girls and keep them chaste until marriage. All these are done without recourse to the health and sexual implications on these women. As if these cultural plagues on the sexuality of women aren’t burden enough, they also have to contend with the religious control enforced on them. From religious policing on dress code to shaming and shunning of women who are seen as sexually loose, religion has further fostered the repression of sexual expression in African women. Some religions and cultures even go a step further to make women believe that they’re not supposed to enjoy sex. Making them believe that only immoral women enjoy sex and the role of a chaste women is to please her husband sexually and reproduce. Undermining these very stringent bottlenecks that have shackled the progress and liberation of African women sexually, in the last decade, there has been significant progress achieved. Now more than ever, African women are coming into their own. Now more than ever, the African woman is not afraid or ashamed to talk about her sexual life and choices. Just before the lockdown enforced by the spread of the coronavirus, on air personality Toke Makinwa dropped a controversial advice for women. She advised them to get at least 3 dildos in order for them to be sexually satisfied during the lockdown. While this raised so much ruckus on social media with people voicing their objections to this advise, there was a larger group of women applauding this opinion. Some even offering their own takes on how women can ensure they’re satisfied sexually while quarantined with or without their lovers. This outpouring of sexual advise by these women on and off social media is a testament to the growth of African women with regards to their sex life. It clearly paints a picture of the modern African woman who is now sexually uninhibited. For over a decade now, more and more African women have become sexually expressive and assertive too. More deliberate in choosing their sexual partners even before marriage and not allowing religious standpoints deter them. Furthermore, women in Africa have made incredible strides in their fashion choices. Gone are the days when fashion choices by women were tailored to meet the standards set for them by culture and religion. Gone are the times when women feel shame for dressing how they see fit. African women now make bold fashion choices as long as they’re comfortable with it and even using fashion as a means of expressing themselves. This freedom of choice unfortunately hasn’t spread all over Africa, but everyday, more women are embracing their rights to choose, thereby fanning the embers of sexual liberation. This sexual freedom inadvertently leads to even more healthy choices for women. Freedom from sexual repression, freedom to choose whom to love or marry, and freedom to seek legal justice against sexual abuse. This freedom extends even further into their career choices. For most women in Africa, they’re already on the path of total sexual freedom and the rest of Africa are only playing catch up. How long it takes the other half still labouring under the throes of sexual inhibition to catch up, is only left to the imagination.