Andy

My story Hello friend. If you have this journal in your hands, it means you are in the adoption process. This journal came out of my own experience working with orphans, as well as my own adoption story. I’ve worked with orphans for many years and made a lot of mistakes along the way (and still do sometimes). Through it all, I’ve learned we have a Heavenly Father who knows what we need, and He has all the answers. This book was made to help you better understand what you are going through, why you are going through it, and how to find solutions based on what our Father says. Please allow yourself to be honest with what you feel, because accepting and loving others and ourselves is the hardest thing in life. Remember, God knows what you are going through. Spend time seeking Him and His answers. You are not alone. 5 “ For you, Lord, are kind and ready to forgive, abounding in faithful love to all who call on you. Lord, hear my prayer; listen to my cries for mercy. I call on you on the day of my distress, for you will answer me. Lord, there is no one like you among the gods, and there are no works like yours. Psalms 86:11 (CSB) 6 CONTENT 01 Where Am I? What are your feelings now pg. 9 ...................................... 02 My happy moments Take time to write down your moments pg. 61 .................................... 03 My difficult moments Let’s go through them together pg. 77 ................................... 04 My expectations Understand your expectations of adoption pg. 97 .................................. 7 CONTENT Me and my spouse Become teammates .................................... pg. 123 05 Me and my kids What do they think 06 .................................... pg. 145 I am done What to do after the process is over .................................... pg. 159 07 Me and God He is your foundation 08 .................................... pg. 175 8 Part 1 WHERE AM I? 01 9 Where am I? Let’s understand where you are right now. Are you in a happy moment or a moment when you’re ready to give up? We all have those moments. This journal will help you go through them all. When we care for ourselves, when we deal with our thoughts, emotions, and feelings, then we become mature people. We can help someone when we are in a good place, so let’s see where you are now and how you can deal with it. In Him are hidden all the treasures of wisdom and knowledge. Colossians 2:3 (CSB) 10 TRUSTING TRUE LOVE Take time, don’t go too fast, and look inside of yourself. This is just to remind you that you are not dealing with ordinary kids, but kids with trauma, pain, anger, and sin. Our children often come into our families with a lot of baggage that we don’t fully recognize. This can lead to many conflicts. And when we add in the differences in culture and mentality, this makes this gap between us even bigger. Let’s see how we can be closer to them. We are the ones who need to take the first steps. We are God’s hands and feet, and are called to bring healing as God’s love flows through us to them! Trust comes through love, love that maybe you don’t deserve, love that doesn’t try to change you, love that keeps walking with you and helps you transform into God’s image. Love doesn’t mean we just need to close our eyes but our love has a goal, and that goal is to be healed. 11 How did I receive healing? It was through people who loved me even when I did something wrong. It is easy to love people when they do what we expect. My biggest partner in this journey is my husband. He teaches me to trust because he stays consistent in his love for me. To be honest, this is a miracle for me. God knew that I needed a man in my life who would have that quality—to stay strong all the time! Healing comes through a process, and you and I are part of that process. I love how God partners with others to bring healing to my heart. It’s like He is walking with me. Just when I start to think He doesn’t love me because of something I’ve done wrong, I come to Him and see that His love remains the same! Our children will be healed if we learn how to consistently show love to them when they are good or bad, when they walk the way we think is not right. In those dark times, If we can do this, they will learn to trust us and trust God and His love! Do you see how essential our assignment is? Note: Our love should be consistent despite our child’s behavior, but that does not mean that there are no consequences for bad behavior. Our kids must learn that their choices, good or bad, have consequences. No matter what, it’s our choice to show love, even in discipline. We love them even if they choose the wrong way! 12 Here are some questions to consider. HOW ARE YOU FEELING? Where I Am 13 14 Where I Am Where I Am 15 16 Where I Am WHAT ARE YOU STRUGGLING WITH? Where I Am 17 18 Where I Am Where I Am 19 20 Where I Am WHERE IS YOUR SPOUSE EMOTIONALLY? Where I Am 21 22 Where I Am Where I Am 23 24 Where I Am “ Consider it a great joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you experience various trials, because you know that the testing of your faith produces endurance. And let endurance have its full effect, so that you may be mature and complete, Iacking nothing. Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God—who gives to all generously and ungrudgingly­and it will be given to him. James 1:2-5 (CSB) 25 26