Adenike Lydia Adediji

Hello, Can you hear me?. You, yes I am talking to you. Why are you sad?. Is it because all you planned and hoped for didn’t work out? Or because you have exhausted all the resources you have and you feel it has gotten to the end of it all?. Hmmmm, that’s sad because I brought a gift for you but you have already given up. Just because I want to be nice, let me give it to you. My gift is a form of reassurance to you. Have you ever thought of why you had to go through all the challenges you are passing through and yet no solution works for it?. Ever given it a thought why you have been doing a particular thing for months or years and there is no progress? You have tried and done all you can as a human, in fact you even went spiritual because of this same issue but no solution is forthcoming?. Have you ever thought maybe that Job, Course, Relationship, Travelling or anything you are into is not for you? Because, if it was meant for you, You won't be as frustrated and annoyed as you are now. A lot of time we hold onto what is not meant to be simply because I want this or need that but it doesn’t want us. In situations like that, what do you do? Do you force yourself unto it or destroy yourself because of it? Do you try even though you know it's dangerous just to keep or have it? The best solution is for you to LET GO. Letting Go doesn’t mean you accepted defeat or you are weak or a coward, It simply means you are placing yourself above that thing. A lot of times when you can’t control things or people around you, what it’s simply telling you is that it’s time to Let Go. Most of the time, holding onto what is not meant to be does more damage than you can comprehend. The psychological and emotional damage is what you have to deal with which sometimes is for life. There are a lot of things we hold unto that are not worth our mental stability and peace. Examples are grief, broken relationships,trauma,regret,abuse or whatever you can think of that is making you suffer because they didn’t turn out to be what you imagined is not worth it.Let it go. At times we think holding on makes us strong if not the strongest, but holding onto the past for too long can make the future run past you without your notice. Letting things or people go doesn’t mean you have gotten rid of it, but it means you have decided that what will be, will be. Coming out of a messy and complicated or abusive relationship with a partner you love so much is draining. It drains your ability to function well as a person, your faith and trust in love will be cut short, having any personal relationship will be difficult but not impossible when you decide to let go of the past. To let go of your past relationship, you must not hate your ex partner because if you do, you will never be able to let go. Holding onto what he/she did to you, having them at heart is doing nothing to them except causing you pain and heartache. It prevents you from moving forward and even when a deserving partner comes, you won’t be able to embrace your new partner because you are still holding onto your past baggage. You just have to accept it has happened, forgive them and move on. An adage says “ Twenty children cannot play together for twenty years”. A friendship that is causing nothing but pain,enviness and low self esteem is not worth it. If you decide to opt out of such friendship, it doesn’t mean you are angry or bad, you have just accepted that they are a part of your life history and not destiny. For you to decide to let go of your long term friendship, it means you have tried your possible best to make things work but it didn’t and you are feeling sad because you don’t want to leave them. I want you to understand that people come into your life to teach different things and for those of your friends, they are teaching you how to let go though it’s not something you do immediately but gradually. By the time you finally let go, you will experience a new form of freedom and will breathe in fresh air. Losing a loved one is a severe trauma to both the mind and brain. Most times when you want to be happy or loosen up, you feel you are not entitled to it because of the person you lost. Have you given it a thought that one of the ways to be happy is by just letting sad memories go and remembering all the happy times? Holding onto a memory that hurts your heart and soul is killing yourself. After dying, what do you claim to achieve or gain? Does your death bring back the life of your lost one or does it make you happy wherever you are? No, it doesn’t. Be determined and courageous about your happiness knowing you will live for yourself because you cannot change what has happened hence you have to let go. You will discover that peace will be restored to your soul the moment you decide to Let Go. There are different stages of grief whereby you will be in Denial of what just happened, you won’t want to accept or believe it ever happened. Another emotion comes up within you which is Anger and can be targeted towards anybody even towards ourselves and the world at large. It then moves unto Bargaining whereby we begin to wish it never happened or maybe we could go back in time to prevent what led to the death. Moving on, Depression comes in and you begin to feel all alone in this world,you feel a part of you has left and can never be healed again. Once all this has been felt, you begin to Accept that whatever has happened has happened and that is where Letting go comes in. At this time, we have come to terms with the situation and have realized that there is no turning back. You have been trying to do some projects in your life, maybe traveling out of the country, seeking a job or admission, trying to work out a contract or whatever, but it keeps failing. What do you do? Do you keep trying that thing even though you have used all resources known to mankind to acquire it and it’s still impossible? Or you lose hope at some point and not do anything?. Have you tried another thing, maybe another country,job,school or even business instead of throwing all your eggs in one basket?. Most of the time, we have the right tools for the wrong work and we keep trying to fit in the tools but it’s not working out. Imagine using a spanner 12 to loosen a bolt 8? It becomes too big for it and cannot do the work we want it to do. Why not let go of what you have been trying and try out another one? Just because you have always had something in mind doesn’t mean the universe will agree with you regarding your plans. Making a decision to let go of your previous plan and move on is not going to be easy, but because you don't care how hard it's going to become, you will do it. Sometimes, the fear of the unknown makes it difficult to let go of things we are used to doing,but the errors we have made in the past are what will make us confident in the new path we have chosen, dropping and letting past disappointments go and moving on. A popular Disney princess called Frozen sang “Let it go, Let it go, can’t hold it back anymore, Let it go, Let it go, turn away and slam the door. I don’t care what they are going to say, let the storm rage on, the cold never bothered me anyway”. Looking at the lyrics of this song, certain stages will come in our lives whereby letting it go will be the utmost solution. Situations where you have to pretend to be strong, follow the trend and path of your friends and parents, suffer a lot of traumatic incidents and abuse etc, the string of thread holding you together will cut and you will break down and will result in Checkmate. You will not care about what others will think about you again, the pain you have bottled up inside will overshadow you to the point of no return and that will be the end. You need to understand that surviving is personal and not collective. The moment you decide to let the troubles in your heart weigh you down, you are giving it dominance above you and it will swallow you up. The main battle you are fighting is between Holding on and Letting go and once you can’t decide what you want for yourself, one will overpower the other. At times we have to protect ourselves from ourselves by seeing the GOOD in Goodbye. Tao Te Ching said” The world belongs to those who let go” so let it all go and see what stays behind.Take a deep breath, relax, chill and Let Go.