Abraham Barrie

SUB ROSA SCRIPT COVERAGE TITLE: ​Sub Rosa AUTHOR​:Iestyn Ll. Jones PAGES: ​109 GENRE:​ ​Thriller FORMAT: ​Feature film PROJECT RECOMMENDATION: ​CONSIDER DATE: ​22/07/2020 Script Analyst:​ Abraham Barrie Score Sheet Excellent Good Premise X Storyline X Structure X Character X Dialogue X Fair Poor Logline A young homosexual student is involved in a risky mission to save art of political injustice. To do this, he will have to survive the mysterious enemies who seek his death, and at the same time that of his Nazi father. Feedback SUB ROSA is exposed as a disturbing thriller which provokes a strong emotional reaction in the viewer through continuous suspense, achieving a powerful mix in dramatic terms that generates a hooking effect for most of its duration. SUB ROSA SCRIPT COVERAGE We are faced with a fierce protest proposal that addresses various social conflicts that resonate with great force today. This intention provokes an instantaneous understanding of the events while it manages to connect with the most internal responses of the reader, since the rejection towards certain groups or religions remains a patent in today's society; therefore, this script is easily positioned in an interesting terrain for the market since it has an original, current and fresh premise. Looking more closely to the structure, the story is based on the conjugation of various storylines that simultaneously seek to accentuate their impact on the protagonist. At the same time, they introduce new characters that adhere to a halo of mystery about the events. In relation to the latter, I consider the initial approach as a huge success since it faithfully presents the tone of the film and lays the foundations for the subconscious-main theme of it: survival. Analyzing the first pages, the author manages by means of the ball ‘snowball effect’ -intercutting several storylines increasing rising suspense- to catch the reader and invite him to turn the page quickly. From the beginning, the story pushes us into a context of absolute survival, which inevitably generates automatic empathy for the protagonists and their weak position in the story. It should be noted that this characterization accompanies us with the protagonist for a long part of his journey given his sexual orientation; therefore, the author warns us from the first page that we are facing a story that will try to search in the most innate purpose of the human being but, from different social perspectives and in turn, facing very different consequences. During the first part of the script, I had a satisfying feeling in terms of narrative fluency and dramatic coherence. The scenes correspond appropriately and the tension is perfectly maintained. However, despite its strengths, there are areas for improvement in the script. As the narrative progresses, certain aspects related to the main motive of the story -the one that should guide it- perhaps falter a bit. Although the fact that the existence of several enemy fronts supposes a greater exposure of the protagonist, perhaps that same situation can prevent us from identifying a clear and concise objective in our character, and therefore, the fixed and common objective for the audience. If what mainly drives our protagonist to make the decisions he makes is his love for art, then we must show even more his passion for it before and after the main mission.​ In other words, if we want that goal to be relevant enough to the SUB ROSA SCRIPT COVERAGE audience, we have to do everything in our power to make it a ‘life and death goal’ for the protagonist from the beginning. Delve further into Antonio's relationship with art perhaps it is a good idea before facing such a task, after all, we have to feel it as a platonic love -the one for which we must fight- no matter what happens. This could be used as a sufficient pretext to build a parental conflict in which our protagonist's fears are amplified: the fear of being judged by his own father due to his interest in art, but above all, the fear that his homosexuality is discovered, it would be an interesting conflict in the film. At some point, maybe our protagonist should succumb to a crisis that forces him to make unexpected decisions that change the course of events and promote the development of the characters. ​To appreciate Antonio's entire arch​, it may be interesting that at some point he faces his greatest ‘enemy’, who -irrevocably- is still his father. A meeting between the two can lead to powerful resolutions and accentuate the change of the protagonist towards the end of the film, which may be a little lost. We are aware that the father is homophobic and hates art, however, what would happen if he found out that his son included all these things? How much does he love Antonio and how much does he love his ideals? Perhaps we are ​missing a resolution of this conflict because his father continues to be an antagonistic force for the protagonist -in fact, he could be the trigger of practically all the antagonism- and solving everything with his death perhaps means losing opportunities to close the protagonist's wounds, find out more about Antonio and his identity -in addition to knowing also to his father, through his decisions/reactions- and completing the parental circle that overshadows Antonio's wishes. That is, ​ending the protagonist's internal journey and forcing him to face his greatest fear, to better appreciate his final evolution. In relation to this, the journey of the main character must always be related to his internal fears; in other words, ​Antonio must complete an introspective mission​, apart from the main one. For example, in the case of the movie ​"Inception",​ the protagonist played by Leonardo Dicaprio is a character who -like Antonio- must fulfill a mission. However, the main difference between the two is that the character of Inception reveals, as he carries out the mission, his internal conflicts, his deepest dilemmas and shares with the audience his fears or traumas -which he gradually overcomes as he advances his goal-; therefore, the more he immerses himself in the mission, the more he show us about himself and the more we empathize. The mission serves as a therapy for the character, which produces a cathartic effect. SUB ROSA SCRIPT COVERAGE Besides, to find the internal desire that the protagonist will expose at the end of the trip we must classify his motivations. These categories with examples of the protagonist of Inception would perhaps help you when creating them. ● Open reason: ​The lie that the character tells to the world. “I want a new life” ● Secret reason:​ The character’s thoughts of his desire -- the lie he tells himself. “I need to escape” ● Unconscious: The reality, ergo, his unknown truth. Something that the character can’t assume or doesn’t accept because he isn’t aware of it -- He’s afraid to admit it but at the end, it always appears. “I don’t deserve to live in the real world/I deserve to die” Characters have layers that hide their real desires. So maybe first, we have to ​define the motivations and use the fears or traumas (in this case, being homosexual with a nazi father) that prevents Antonio from achieving it. As the story progresses, that fear will disappear and the revelations about his real desire will come to light. So the big questions would be: ● How does achieving the goal of overthrowing Péron's power over art affect Antonio? ● How does that show up at the end of the story? ● Is that what he really wants? ● He does not know what he wants? Defining the main -and constant- motivation of the protagonist is essential, in order to maintain a fluid and coherent continuity, since the story will be guided by it. ​The main plot must be driven by a clear and precise objective​, which must be maintained until the last page. Therefore, finding a balance between real motivations and antagonistic forces may be a good idea: accentuating the main objective of the story and its consequences​, apart from confronting the protagonist against the origin -voluntarily or involuntarily - of all obstacles, is necessary to complete the story and the external and internal journey of the character. SUB ROSA SCRIPT COVERAGE Apart from this, the characters are very well defined and fulfill their role superbly. Providing the protagonist with vulnerable characteristics and putting him in an unfavorable environment has been an enormously intelligent and favorable decision for history. Very well done. I would especially like to highlight the relationship and interaction between Antonio and Emilio, since their dialogues feel very natural and genuine; the chemistry between characters is clear and it easily transfers the role. As a strong point too, the rhythm suitable for the genre and above all is the style of the language which brilliantly supports the script. The author has a talent for describing the action and consists of a rather personal voice that works perfectly to highlight the shocking events of the script. In summary, we are dealing with a very well executed work, with an innovative premise and quite potential. As suggestions, delve into the protagonist's motivations and find a constant desire that stays throughout the script and guides the story's decisions and implements their internal traumas and conflicts into the story and resolves them to complete their arc - including confrontation with their greater fear, his father. Other than this, this is a very well written script. Really hooking. Email:​-